Nik lets out a low whistle. “That’s too old.”
“Why don’t you shut up?”
He’s now lying on the couch, his hands interlocked behind his head, staring at the ceiling. “Does he like you?”
I know I should’ve thrown him out instead of asking him to shut up. “I guess.”
Another low whistle. “You do know boys want just one thing from girls.”
I scowl at him but he doesn’t see it. “Is that what you want from Priya?”
He turns his head with a surprised look. “What? Priya? No and yes. But we’re not talking about me.”
I hate him.
“He’s too old for you. Has he kissed you yet?”
I throw a pillow at him that he catches expertly. “Well, has he?”
“It’s so none of your business!”
“So he has.” He’s laughing. The ass is laughing at me. “So how was it?”
“Nik!” I launch at him with another pillow, trying to beat him up in a meaningless battle.
He laughs, trapping both my hands in his. I struggle, we fall over each other in a pile on the carpet on the floor. He looms over me, having trapped my hands in his. His laughter ceases as he takes in my wide-eyed look.
I’m conscious of his proximity, of his length flush against my body. His lower body is resting between mine. My legs that are encased in shorts are bare and can feel the rough texture of his jeans.
Nik is holding my wrists by the sides of my head, his face is mere inches from mine. Without giving it further thought, he captures my mouth in a soul-searching kiss. I go stiff with the sudden sensation of his lips against mine. This isn’t right. But it isn’t wrong either.
He leaves my hands to take my face between his palms, kissing me with a reverence that worries me. His kiss isn’t as explosive as Ajaz’s. It’s tender, safe and full of hope. I rest my released hands lightly at his shoulders, not pushing him away but not pulling him in either. If this was Ajaz, I’d be all over him.
I don’t encourage him to take the kiss any further. Nik realises my lack of participation as I give him a gentle push. I think he’s glad I didn’t kick him in the crotch. His forehead rests against mine as he tries to steady his breathing.
I hear Grandma’s feet shuffling in the next room and almost throw him off. We quickly take our earlier positions, steadying our breaths. No point scandalizing Grandma.
I worry the skin off my thumb. “Don’t ever do that again. You could get killed if he comes to know.”
Nik is looking self-conscious. I really adore him but he isn’t the one for me.
“What’s his name?” he asks.
“Ajaz.”
Nik looks at me sharply. “Risha, he’s a Muslim?”
I nod, feeling restless. He’s asking too many questions that I can answer but I don’t want to.
“Your parents will never..”
“I didn’t say I was marrying him!” I snap, feeling irritable.
He watches me with concern. “Then what the hell are you doing?”
“I’m, I’m…” I have no explanation. Yes, what indeed am I doing? I’m not the type of girl to have casual flings and then move on. My world is entrenched in archaic cultural systems. We have arranged marriages to ‘suitable’ boys from our caste and religion. What I’m doing with Ajaz is considered blasphemy. It can get me ostracised from my family forever.
Nik rises to crouch before me. He takes my hands in his, peering into my face. “Risha, listen to me. I’m crazy, like real crazy about you but I’m nineteen you’re only eighteen, we have no idea where our lives are heading. This guy, he’s older, he needs to focus on his career. He might be just fooling around with you.”
His concern touches my heart and I have nothing to defend Ajaz with. It’s been only a few months with him and I know he’s shown self-restraint with me. He’s never pushed me into doing something I wasn’t ready for. Apart from a few kisses, we’ve handled ourselves remarkably well. But I can’t say all this to Nik. I can’t tell him that I need Ajaz just as he needs me.
The unbidden thought surprises me. Why do I have this need to be with Ajaz?
“Nik, you’re not my dad, I can take care of myself.” I manage to frown at him. “And you had no business kissing me when I told you I’m with someone.”
He doesn’t look guilty or convinced. His eyes are liquid with the depth of his feelings for me. He traces the edge of my lips with his thumb. “I just came to say, I’m moving to the US soon. I got my admission and my uncle’s there.” Yes, I know his extended family lives in California. He looks stressed, forlorn, torn. “I don’t know if I can lookout for you anymore.”
His announcement unsettles me. Nik can’t leave me! My eyes accuse him of betrayal but I don’t say anything.
He looks unhappy. I want to implore him not to leave me but this is Nik, we’re not together, we’re just friends.
I know he wants to kiss me again but is stopping himself. I’m glad. He’ll make it harder for me to let him go. Although, I’m not in love with him, he’s my lifeline, my anchor.
All of a sudden, I need to hug him close to me. He’s going away. My emotions pour over as I cling onto Nik. I don’t want to lose him. Tears fall from my eyes, splashing over him.
He gives me a sad smile. “Why are you crying you fool? I’m not dying.”
I turn into a gushing faucet as I bury my head in his arms. Nik can’t really be leaving me! “Hey, hey!” He grabs my face in his palms. “I promise, I’ll be back for you, Risha. I’m not leaving you forever.”
With that he moves away. I can tell he’s close to tears too. “Hell, Risha, this was harder than breaking up with Priya!”
His words draw out a small laugh from me. I rise to wrap my arms around his waist for one last hug. He drops a chaste kiss on my head. “Don’t get your heart broken, okay?”
“I’ll try,” my words hold no promise for my future is uncertain.
I watch him leave me with one last longing look. I know one part in my heart will remain vacant forever.
Seven
All for love.
Ajaz has a party at his place for his birthday. I’m invited. I make a grand excuse at home so that Grandma and Saumya buy it. Saumya wasn’t invited so I can’t tell her where I’m headed.
I take time to dress with care. Knee length, embellished, off shoulder black dress, open toe, high heeled sandals, hanging earrings, my charm bracelet, black kohl and shimmer lip gloss. My hair is longer, falling beyond my shoulder to caress my back. I have a mixture of curls and waves, something I hadn’t known earlier due to its short length. I leave it wild and untamed. The end result is quite appealing but Saumya still thinks I look slutty. Well, tough, that’s what she always feels about me.
I reach his apartment, feeling nervous. I haven’t met his friends before. The door is opened by an unknown face that is similar to Ajaz in looks, a little older perhaps. Is this his brother? He gestures me in over the loud music, beaming a big smile. There are a lot of people here, mostly in their twenties. I think I’m the youngest.
I can’t see Ajaz. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m really not a party girl. Especially a party where I don’t know anyone. I wish Nik was here but he’s already reached the US to begin his under graduation study programme. He called to let me know he’s fine and that he misses me already. I miss him too.
I hate that the intimacy of the apartment is ruined by the people sprawling around. While I know for a fact that Ajaz doesn’t drink, he does serve it for his guests. I finally spot him across the room, in deep conversation with a very hot looking girl. I’m immediately jealous and peeved that he hasn’t noticed me.
At that moment, his eyes lock onto mine. In an instant, I know he’s not only noticed me as soon as I walked in but that his desire for me is at an all-time high. How do I know this? I’m reading his mind. The unnamed pull we feel for each other is stronger and more unsettling than ever before. Despite it, we don’t discuss our future.
We both know how uncertain it is.
The girl continues her animated conversation with him, he shows his interest by nodding while keeping his eyes on me. I pout at him over my shoulder before moving across the room to slip by French windows that lead onto a balcony.
There are couples making out in the corners. I head for the centre where I lean against the railing with a sigh, taking in the beautiful sight of the suburban Bombay skyline.
I can sense his warmth before I actually feel him. He comes to a stand behind me, his front to my back, his arms around my waist. I sag into him, feeling lost as I always do in his presence. He buries his face in my hair pulling me closer.
“You smell nice.” His voice is muffled against my hair.
“Happy birthday,” I whisper, a sigh escaping me as his lips land on the side of my neck leaving a tiny trail of kisses.
“I could breathe you in forever.” I know he means it. I could live in this moment forever but I turn in his arms. He smiles as he swoops in for a quick kiss that lingers. “You’re late, you know.”
I know. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I waited for you to cut the cake.” My breath hitches. It’s not much but does it mean something?
“Come.” Ajaz threads his fingers with mine and leads the way back into the room. He lets out a loud whistle bringing everyone to attention. “Hey, guys. This is Prisha. My girlfriend.”
To my credit, I hold onto the gasp that wants to escape me along the wild jump of my heart. Just like that, he’s announced us to the world. I’m over the moon. This validation of our relationship matters more to me than he can ever know. Dare I dream further?
A lot of whoops and cheers go around the room. They all seem happy for him, for us. The guy who had let me in, makes his way towards us. He leans in towards my ear. “Congrats, kid.”
Kid! I frown at him but he winks and is off before I can mutter a fitting reply. Ajaz snakes his arm around my waist to pull me in. “Don’t mind him, he’s being a jerk. That’s Asad by the way. Could’ve been my twin but he’s actually two years older than me. That’s why you seem much younger to him.”
I know Ajaz has two older brothers. Asad, who I’ve met and seems to be his buddy and Azmath who’s runs a construction company and much older with a seven year gap between them. Ajaz steers clear of him that I know.
I shake off things that don’t matter. I’m going to enjoy all that I can tonight with my guy. How cool does that sound?
Asad and another friend, bring in a large cake. It’s a simple, manly, dark chocolate square cake. It doesn’t have any candles and without any further delay, Ajaz pushes a cake knife in my hands, covers them with his and has us cutting into the cake together. Every move of his stuns me. It’s as though this is my birthday we’re celebrating when it isn’t.
He cuts out a piece and has me take a bite amongst collective ‘ohs’ and ‘ahs’. I blush and return him the favour. He almost sucks my fingers when I put the cake piece in his mouth but conscious of the spectators, he lets go with a lingering promise in his eyes.
A quiver passes through me. I want him and how!
The party moves on through refreshments, drinks and dinner. I’ve chosen to sit on a high stool in one corner, sipping contently on a Pina-colada. I can see Ajaz is busy as he keeps weaving through the crowd, stopping for a word, a laugh now and then. But every time I think he’s forgotten about me, I find his eyes upon me with an intense look that melts me inside with its silent promises.
A movement next to me pulls my attention. It’s the girl I’d seen speaking to Ajaz when I had entered the party. She’s older than me, around twenty- two or twenty-three and has the looks of a model. Silky straight hair that kisses her waist, long eyelashes, sultry eyes with shimmering eye shadow, pouty full lips stained with deep, dark, matte lipstick, long danglers at her ears, a tight, golden, figure hugging dress and gold stilettos that showcase her never-ending legs. Smooth.
She’s standing next to me and she’s quite tall. A natural five foot eight, with heels, a cool six feet two. That’s way too tall for a girl not to command instant attention.
I get the sense she’s staring at me so I crane my neck up towards her. She’s not just staring, she’s scowling. My muscles tense and warning bells start tingling. She’s going to create a scene.
“How did you meet Ajaz?” She comes right to the point.
I’m not comfortable sitting and craning my neck up, so I stand. The top of my head almost reaches her chin. I don’t like her and the feeling seems mutual. I tell myself I don’t have to answer her. “Hi, you are?” I ask instead with a tight smile.
She’s still scowling. “Sheetal.” Her answer is as tight. “We were dating you know.”
My scalp prickles. “No I didn’t.” If Ajaz hasn’t mentioned it then she wasn’t important to him.
“One year, right up to the New Year Eve’s before the last one.” My heart begins thudding rapidly. “I couldn’t be with him that night as I was out of town with my family. You were there with him, weren’t you?” She accuses more than asks and continues without letting me answer, “I come back a week later and he’s breaking off with me. Says he just wants us to be friends. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” If looks could kill I suppose I’d be dead by now. “What did he see in you? You’re nothing!”
Her words sting me. I don’t want to confront her but it’s not like I stole her man. I didn’t even know about them. Before I can reply, Ajaz sidles up to me. His hand is at my back, his smile only for me. “What’s up, ladies?”
“So she’s the one?” Sheetal pushes through her teeth.
Ajaz gives her an easy smile before glancing down at me. “Yeah. She is.” His words are spoken with pride. I get goose bumps.
“Bitch!” Sheetal mutters under her breath, crossing her arms in a huff.
“Watch it, Sheetal,” Ajaz warns her, his voice low.
“At least I don’t go around stealing other girls’ guys!” She chases.
I stare at her, amazed at her gall. She’s going to make a scene. Ajaz’s arm is around my waist now, I can feel his muscles flex. “Sheetal, don’t make a scene.”
She goes ballistic. “I’m making a scene? She’s the one who set her sights on someone who doesn’t belong to her!”
The party’s gone silent. I can hear my heart beating loud enough for all to hear. Asad approaches us throwing a smirk at Ajaz. “Got the girls fighting over you, hotshot?”
Ajaz relaxes, he uses his hand on my back to steer me away from Sheetal towards Asad. It’s a silent request to his brother to get me away from Sheetal.
At that moment, Sheetal in moment of jealous rage, choses to stick her leg out and trip me. I fall quite dramatically into Asad’s arms.
“Whoa!” He laughs and I like him already. He’s just as handsome as Ajaz, if not more, but my heart beats only for Ajaz.
Realisation hits me hard. I have real, strong feelings for Ajaz. This is not just going steady, it’s something more.
Asad winks at Ajaz and takes me along with him, diffusing the situation. I glance back to see Sheetal put a hand on Ajaz’s chest only to have him set it away. She walks off in a huff leaving the party.
“He’s really into you, Prisha,” Asad confides in me. I take a sip from the soft drink he’s offered me. We’re standing at the balcony again, the party is once again buzzing inside.
My smile is shy, awkward and proud. Ajaz is into me?
Asad’s eyes twinkle. They’re darker than Ajaz’s but just as honest. “He speaks about you quite a bit. I almost didn’t think he had it in him to ask you out. I saw what you did to him last year.”
Now I can feel my nose burn. Ajaz discussed me with his brother? I’m obliged to say something. “I..uh..didn’t know.”
Asad laughs. He’s actually easy going and fun to be with. “Of course, you didn’t! He didn’t either. But I had it with him moping around.” Asad sobers up, watching me with intent eyes. “I’m glad he finally h
ad the balls to make a go for you.” He tosses his head towards Ajaz who’s making his way towards us. “Just don’t get your heart broken.”
He leaves before I can process his words. What does he mean ‘don’t get your heart broken’? Why does everyone say that to me? First Nik now Asad. Is my relationship with Ajaz so improbable that people are convinced it won’t last?
Ajaz is in front of me before my mind can wander further. His smile is cocky. I’m in his arms almost immediately. “Are you mad?”
“No. Should I be?” I’m feeling coy and flirty at the same time. My fingers fist over the t-shirt he’s wearing. It’s so clear. I want him and he wants me. I tip toe to kiss the bottom of his chin. His arms instantly crush me closer.
True Rising: Mark of the Defenders Page 7
