Three Kingdoms

by Luo Guanzhong (Moss Roberts trans. )

  In more recent times Lu Cui and Yan Xiang have been appointed at court because of their unusual ability. Such treatment should be accorded Mi Heng. A dragon like him aloft in the heavenly court, beating his wings among the constellations, raising his voice among the circumpolar stars,5 and sending down the rainbow's beams will lend glory to the newly appointed officials and magnify the dignity of Your Majesty's house. The imperial music festivals are for rare and wonderful performers; the imperial chambers, for preserving extraordinary treasures. Men like Mi Heng are all too rare. The song and dance "Ji Chu" and the composition "Yang E" are the music master's first choice for performance par excellence. Fei Tu and Yao Niao, those fleet gallopers, are what the trainer Bo Le and the charioteer Wang Liang were ever eager to obtain. Though but a humble servant of little note, I feel obliged to call this man to Your Majesty's attention. Your Majesty's earnest caution in selecting men to serve you requires comparison and trial. Now I appeal for an audience for this commoner. If you find in him nothing useful, I will accept the blame for leading you astray.

  The Emperor read Kong Rong's petition and passed it on to Cao Cao, who summoned Mi Heng. But at his audience with the prime minister, Mi Heng suffered the indignity of not being commanded to take a seat; and so the scholar looked skyward and said with a sigh, "In this wide, wide world I see not one real man!" Cao snapped back, "I have dozens in my service who rate as heroes of our time. What's your point?" "Name them," Mi Heng responded. Cao Cao answered, "Xun Wenruo, Xun You, Guo Jia, and Cheng Yu are all men of depth and vision, far superior to Xiao He and Chen Ping.6 I have Zhang Liao, Xu Chu, Li Dian, and Yue Jin, whose valor surpasses Cen Peng's and Ma Wu's.7 Then there are the military aides Lü Qian and Man Chong, and the vanguard leaders Yu Jin and Xu Huang. Xiahou Dun, moreover, is a rare field commander, and Cao Ren one of fortune's favorite generals. What, then, is your point?"

  "I beg to differ," Mi Heng said, scoffing. "These men you mention are known to me— all too well. Xun Wenruo is good for attending funerals and visiting the bedridden. Xun You will do for guarding grave sites. Cheng Yu would make a superb gatekeeper. Guo Jia's real talent is for reading prose and reciting verse. Zhang Liao would serve well tapping the chimes and drums, and Xu Chu belongs tending cattle and horses. Yue Jin is good for receiving petitions and reading edicts, Li Dian for transmitting documents and delivering instructions, Lü Qian for sharpening blades and forging swords. Man Chong consumes wine and dregs. Yu Jin can work at lugging blocks and raising walls. Xu Huang would be best employed slaughtering pigs and dogs. Xiahou Dun deserves the title 'Unscathed General'; Cao Ren, 'Well-bribed Governor.' The rest of the lot are so many clothes racks, rice bags, wine casks, meat sacks. ..."

  "And what is your specialty?" Cao asked, cold with fury. "I," was Mi Heng's reply, "have mastered the patterns of the heavens and the contours of the land. I have knowledge of the three great teachings and the nine minor traditions. With virtue equal to Confucius' and his dearest disciple Yan Yuan's, I can make a king into as sage a sovereign as Yao or Shun. And you rate me with those mediocrities!" Zhang Liao, who was standing nearby, drew his sword and moved toward Mi Heng, but Cao Cao said, "It so happens, I am short a drum master for our ceremonies and banquets. Let Mi Heng have that job." Mi Heng did not refuse and left as soon as Cao Cao had finished speaking. "Why spare this vulgar fellow?" Zhang Liao asked. "He has something of a name," Cao Cao answered. "Why, I don't know. Everyone seems to have heard of him, though. If I killed him, the world would call me mean and intolerant. Since he thinks so highly of himself, I made him a drummer—to humiliate him."

  A few days later Cao Cao summoned Mi Heng to perform for his guests at a palace banquet.8 The previous drum master had warned Mi Heng to put on fresh attire before touching the instruments, but he entered shabbily dressed and proceeded to sound out the "Triple Tolling of Yuyang." The tone and rhythm were superb and the notes resounded with the richness of pealing bells and shining stones. Every guest was moved to tears. But in the midst of the performance Cao's attendants shouted to him rudely, "Why haven't you changed your clothes?" A moment later Mi Heng had stripped himself stark naked before the assembly. The guests hastily shielded their eyes. Then, his expression unchanged, Mi Heng nonchalantly drew his trousers back on.

  "How dare you commit such an outrage," Cao cried, "in the hallowed hall of the imperial court?" "To abuse one's lord," Mi Heng shot back, "to deceive the sovereign, is what I call an 'outrage.' Let everyone see that I have kept the form my parents gave me free of blemish." "If you are so pure," Cao demanded, "who is corrupt?" Mi Heng responded, "That you cannot distinguish between the able and the incompetent shows that your eyes are corrupt. Your failure to chant the Odes and the Documents9 shows that your mouth is corrupt. Your rejection of loyal advice shows that your ears are corrupt. Your ignorance of past and present shows that your whole being is corrupt. Your conflicts with the lords of the realm show that your stomach is corrupt. Your dream of usurpation shows that your mind is corrupt. To make a renowned scholar like me serve as drum master is a poor imitation of the tricks of such villains of old as Yang Huo who slighted Confucius, or Zang Cang who tried to ruin Mencius. Do you think you can hold men in such contempt and still become the leader of the lords of the realm?"

  Kong Rong, witnessing the scene, feared for the life of the man he had recommended. Approaching Cao, he said calmly, "For this crime let him be sent to do hard labor as a convict. He will never be another Fu Yue!"10 Cao Cao pointed to Mi Heng and said, "I am sending you to Jingzhou as my envoy. Win Liu Biao to our side, and you may return as a high official." But Mi Heng refused to go. Cao Cao ordered three horses made ready and had Mi Heng escorted away. Cao also arranged a departure feast at the Eastern Gates to be attended by his officials and commanders. Mi Heng appeared, but on instructions from Xun Wenruo, the assembly did not rise. Suddenly, the guest of honor gave a mournful cry.

  "What are you wailing for?" Xun Wenruo asked Mi Heng. "I'm walking among dead men waiting to be buried—why shouldn't I wail?" was the reply. "If we are in our coffins," the officials responded, "you are a headless demon." "I," Mi Heng declared, "am not of Cao's clique. I serve the Han. I have my head!"11 The officials wished to kill him on the spot, but Xun Wenruo said, "Don't dirty your blades on a rat." "I may be a rat," Mi Heng retorted, "but I have my human nature. The likes of you can only be called parasitic wasps." The exchange of insults ended, and the officials dispersed in an angry mood.

  Under duress Mi Heng went to Jingzhou where Liu Biao received him. He sang his host's praises, but in a tone so ironic that Liu Biao took offense and sent him off to Huang Zu in Jiangxia. Someone said to Liu Biao, "Mi Heng has mocked Your Lordship and should die for it." But Liu Biao replied, "He slandered Cao Cao more than once and has survived because Cao couldn't risk killing a noted scholar. He sent him here, hoping we would save him the trouble—and take the blame. I've sent Mi Heng on to Huang Zu to show Cao that two can play that game." Liu Biao's advisers were impressed with his shrewdness.

  At this time Yuan Shao's envoy also arrived in Jingzhou. "Now," Liu Biao said, "we have envoys from Shao as well as Cao. Which of them can do more for us?" Han Song, an Imperial Corps commander assigned to Liu Biao,12 said, "Two rivals are locked in struggle. General, if you have serious ambitions, you have a chance now to destroy your enemies. The alternative is to go with the better man. Cao Cao is adept at warfare. Many able men have joined him. Judging from the situation, he will conquer Yuan Shao first and then move against the Southland. I don't see how we can hold Cao off. But if you commit your province to him now, he should treat you well." "I'd rather you went to the capital and looked things over before I decide," Liu Biao responded.

  "Sovereign and subject have their inescapable duties," Han Song said. "Now I serve you, General, and am bound to obey you at whatever risk. So long as you fully intend to follow the Emperor and cooperate with Lord Cao, I can represent you. But if, when I enter the capital, you are still undecided, should the Emperor offer
me an office, I will have to become his loyal subject instead of Your Lordship's pledged servant." "Go and find out what you can," Liu Biao said. "I have plans of my own." And so Han Song took leave of Liu Biao and went to Xuchang. Cao Cao made him a privy counselor and governor of Lingling. Xun Wenruo said to Cao Cao, "Han Song came to spy on us, yet you have richly rewarded him before he has made the slightest contribution to our cause. At the same time you have sent Mi Heng to Liu Biao, though the outcome of his mission seems to be of no interest to you." "He went too far," Cao said. "I meant for Liu Biao to kill him. The matter is closed." He sent Han Song back to Jingzhou to enlist Liu Biao's support.

  Han Song returned, praised the virtues of the new court, and urged Liu Biao to send a son into the imperial service. But Liu Biao, in a burst of rage, cried, "Death for your double-dealing!" "It is you, my lord," Han Song replied, "who betrays me, not I you." Biao's adviser Kuai Liang agreed, reminding the protector that Han Song had anticipated what would happen before he left. Liu Biao therefore relented and pardoned him.

  At this time Liu Biao learned that Huang Zu had executed Mi Heng. "They were drinking together," a messenger reported, "and both of them became drunk. Huang Zu asked Mi Heng, 'Tell me, who are the great men at the capital?' Heng answered, 'There's that big child Kong Rong and a smaller one, Yang Xiu. No one else.' 'And what do you think of me?' Huang Zu asked him. 'You?' Mi Heng replied. 'A deity in a temple, who receives the fragrant offerings but is lifeless and impotent!' 'So you take me for an idol of wood or clay?' Huang Zu cried, and ordered him put to death. Curses streamed from Mi Heng's lips until the last moment." Liu Biao openly lamented the death of Mi Heng and ordered his body recovered and interred on Yingwu Isle. A poet of later times wrote:

  Huang Zu was not a man of charity;

  Upon his shores Mi Heng died, yet worthily.

  Now his body lies on Yingwu Isle:

  Who visits, but the river flowing by?

  The news of Mi Heng's death made Cao Cao smile. "A rotten pedant," he remarked, "done in by his own sharp tongue." Cao Cao was impatient for Liu Biao's submission and prepared to send the army. But Xun Wenruo cautioned, "Yuan Shao remains to be conquered, Xuande to be eliminated, and you want to wage war in the great river region of the Yangzi and the Han. Go for the vital organs, not the limbs. Do away with Yuan Shao and Xuande first, then sweep the central river region." Cao Cao agreed.

  After Liu Xuande left the capital, Dong Cheng continued to meet night and day with Wang Zifu and other members of his cabal, but they were unable to concert any action against Cao Cao. At the New Year's court ceremonies for the fifth year of Jian An (a.d. 200), Dong Cheng watched Cao Cao's arrogant and ruthless behavior with growing indignation until his health was affected. The Emperor noticed that the imperial brother-in-law looked unwell and ordered the noted court physician Ji Ping of Luoyang to treat him. Ping called on Dong Cheng at his residence and applied various remedies. He stayed with his patient day and night, noting his mournful sighs but refraining from expressing his concern.

  On the fifteenth of the first month, the time of the first full moon festival, the physician was ready to take his leave, but Dong Cheng detained him, and the two men began drinking. After several hours Dong Cheng felt fatigue; loosening his clothes, he drifted into a dream in which Wang Zifu and three other comrades were announced. As Dong Cheng received them, Wang Zifu said "Everything is going smoothly." "Let me hear the details," Cheng answered. "Liu Biao," Zifu began, "has joined with Yuan Shao. They have half a million men marching here in ten field armies. In the northwest Ma Teng and Han Sui have mobilized seven hundred thousand Xiliang troops; they are advancing now. Cao Cao has mustered his last man and horse, dividing his fronts to meet his enemies. The capital is undefended. If we marshal a thousand servants and young attendants from our five households, we can surround the prime minister's residence this evening while the full moon festival is being held, and charge in and kill him. We have a unique opportunity." Enthusiastically Dong Cheng gathered the men of the household. Arms were collected. Dong Cheng was mounted and dressed for battle, spear couched for action. They were to assemble at Cao's inner gate and storm his quarters. Night, the second watch: all advanced. Dong Cheng raised his jeweled sword and strode into the banquet hall, where Cao was presiding. "Don't move, traitor!" Dong Cheng cried to Cao, chopping at him with his blade. Cao crumpled in the wake of the blow, as Cheng repeated the words "traitor, traitor," until he had awoken from the empty dream.

  The physician leaned forward. "So you intend to murder Lord Cao?" he asked. Dong Cheng was too stunned to reply. "Calm yourself," Ji Ping went on. "Though a mere physician myself, I have never forgotten how much I owe the Han. Day after day I have listened to your deep-drawn sighs but hesitated to question you. Now, by chance, the words you spoke in your dreams have disclosed the actual situation. Please do not keep the truth from me. If there is any way I can help, even if it means clan-wide extermination, I shall do it without regret." Then, as a pledge, Ji Ping bit off the tip of his finger.13

  "I only hope you are sincere," Dong Cheng said, covering his face; then he handed Ji Ping the Emperor's secret edict, adding, "Our prospects are poor now, with Xuande and Ma Teng gone. My worries over our inability to act have made me ill." "You have nothing to worry about," the physician replied. "The traitor's life is in these hands. He suffers from chronic headaches, with pain that pierces his marrow. The moment one comes on, he calls for me; and the next time he does, I will administer a treatment sure to kill him. Why bother with weapons?" "If we succeed in this," Dong Cheng answered, "the sacred shrines of the Han will owe their salvation to you." Ji Ping then took his leave.

  Dong Cheng suppressed his excitement and was walking to his room when he came upon a house servant, Qin Qingtong, whispering in a secluded corner with the concubine Yunying. Dong Cheng had them seized. Only on his wife's appeal did he spare their lives. Each was given forty strokes with a staff, and the man was locked in an empty room. During the night Qin Qingtong, burning with resentment, forced open the metal lock and bounded over the wall. He went straight to Cao's residence, offering valuable information. Questioned in a side room, the man said, "Wang Zifu, Wu Zilan, Chong Ji, Wu Shi, and Ma Teng held a secret talk with my master14—I am sure there is a plot against you— and my master brought out a roll of silk with something written on it. And yesterday Ji Ping bit off his fingertip to seal an oath. That much I saw myself." Cao Cao kept the man in his house. Dong Cheng thought he had simply run away and made no attempt to locate him.

  The next day Cao Cao feigned headache and called for Ji Ping. "A traitor meets his end," the physician thought, entering Cao's residence with the poison. From his bed Cao ordered Ji Ping to prepare the drug. "One dose and you'll be over it," Ping said. He called for a pot and decocted the brew in front of Cao. When the contents were half boiled down, he added the poison and handed the drink to Cao. But Cao, knowing the truth, was slow to drink it. "Take it while it is hot," Ji Ping urged. "A brief sweat and your headache will pass." Cao sat up and said, "You are versed in the Confucian texts and familiar with the proprieties. The servant must taste the lord's medicine; the son, the father's. As one of my closest, most trusted servants, shouldn't you taste the medicine before offering it?"

  "Medicine is for the sick," the physician responded. "What's the use of my tasting it?" But Ji Ping knew he had been exposed and yanked Cao's ear in an attempt to pour the potion into him. Cao forced it aside, and the liquid spattered on the ground, causing the bricks to crack and split. Before Cao could give the order, his guards had pinned Ji Ping to the ground. "You really thought I was ill?" Cao said. "It was all arranged to test you, to see if you actually meant to do me harm." Twenty husky jailers whisked Ji Ping to a rear yard for interrogation. He lay bound on the ground, impassive, showing no fear; Cao Cao sat on a raised platform. "A mere physician," he said, "wouldn't have the nerve to poison me. Who put you up to it? Talk and you'll be spared." "Traitor who has wronged the sovereign!" Ji Ping r
etorted. "The entire realm would see you dead—not I alone." Cao hammered him with questions, but Ji Ping replied vehemently, "I meant to kill you for myself alone. No one sent me. My mission has failed. I'm ready to die." Cao Cao ordered Ji Ping beaten without mercy. After several hours his skin split open and the stairs before Cao Cao were covered with blood. Finally, rather than lose the man and his testimony, Cao Cao ordered a respite.

  The next day Cao invited all the eminent court officials to a banquet. Only Dong Cheng declined, pleading illness. Wang Zifu and the rest felt compelled to attend so as not to arouse Cao's suspicions. The banquet was laid in Cao's private apartment. After several rounds of wine Cao said, "Our feast wants entertainment. We do have one man, though, who may sober you all up." At Cao's command the twenty jailers dragged in Ji Ping, secured in movable stocks. "You officials," Cao cried, "may not be aware that this fellow is associated with an evil faction that tried to rebel against the court and kill me. But today Heaven has ruined him. Please hear it in his own words." Cao had the prisoner struck. Ji Ping collapsed on the ground in a faint. Revived by a few splashes of water to the face, he opened his eyes. Then, grinding his teeth, he said, "Traitor! Is there a better time to kill me?"

  "Initially there were six conspirators," Cao said. "You made the seventh. Right?"15 Ji Ping renewed his denunciation. Wang Zifu and his three comrades stared helplessly at one another in torment, as if on a bed of needles. Cao ordered the jailers to continue alternately beating and reviving the prisoner. But Ji Ping had no thought of seeking mercy, and Cao had him dragged off, realizing he would never testify. The assemblage dispersed. Cao detained only Wang Zifu and the other three for an evening banquet. They could feel their souls take flight in fear but had to stay on.