Great and Precious Things

by Rebecca Yarros

  “Dad, let me help you,” I said as I stood next to the witness stand.

  “I don’t… Why…?” He finally looked at me. “Why am I here? I want to go home.”

  “Yeah, Dad, we’ll get you there, I promise. Come on down.” I held out my hand, but he refused to take it and instead stumbled from the stand.

  “No. I’m okay. Don’t touch me. I’m fine!” He walked past me, gaining his balance as he went.

  “Walt?” I called out as Simon opened the gate that separated the spectators from this hellhole.

  “I got him,” Walt promised as Nikki walked with him to help.

  “You,” Dad whispered, turning to me at the threshold.

  “It’s me, Dad. Cam. I’m right here.”

  His eyes turned cold. “You killed my Sullivan.” The whisper was barely loud enough for me to hear, but I did, and it cut me to the fucking core.

  “Come on, Art. Let’s get you home.” Walt put his arm around his best friend and walked him from the courtroom. I stumbled into my seat as the volume of the crowd reached new heights.

  Logic told me otherwise, but the rending in my chest overpowered it. I’d lost every member of my family. Sullivan and Mom to death. Dad to Alzheimer’s. Alexander to his own warped sense of good and evil.

  The judge called for order as I felt hands on my shoulders. I turned and found Willow leaning over the railing.

  “I love you,” she promised, her hazel eyes red and her cheeks blotchy. “I love you.” Her thumbs swiped at my face. “Do you understand me, Camden Daniels? I know your truth. I love you, and I have always loved you. First and always. You.”

  “Order!” the judge demanded again, and the noise started to die down.

  I kept my focus on Willow, anchoring myself in her eyes and slowly settling my boiling emotions into a soft simmer.

  “Willow,” I whispered.

  She let go of my face only to push something into my hand. “I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Then she sat back in her seat, where her father put his arm around her. Her father, who had recused himself because I was hers. He looked at me with pursed lips and sorrowful eyes.

  The crowd quieted, and I opened my palm to see what she’d given me.

  It was the white onyx queen. The most versatile piece on the board. The protector of the king. I forced deep and even breaths through my lungs.

  A soft sob reached my ears, and I turned to see Xander’s head in his hands, his shoulders shaking as he cried. As Simon and Milton both gave their closings, I stared at Xander. It took until the end of Milton’s speech for my brother to look at me.

  When he did, he flinched.

  I let it show—my anger, my loathing, and my utter disgust. When Judge Wilson dismissed us until her ruling, the crowd emptied out into the hallway.

  “I’ll be there in just a second,” I promised Willow.

  She nodded, squeezing my hand as she passed by on her way to where her family waited.

  I finally opened the envelope Julie left.

  With shaking hands, I read the three sheets she’d included and felt simultaneous relief and sorrow. Deep, gut-wrenching sorrow.

  “You okay?” Simon asked.

  “No. None of it is okay.” I slid the papers back into their envelope, then walked over to my older brother, my idol, the perfect example of love and forgiveness, and openly glared at him as he rose to leave.

  “Cam,” Simon warned.

  “I need a minute with my brother.” I kept my eyes on Xander.

  “Alexander?” Milton probed.

  “It’s fine. I’ll meet you out there,” Xander replied.

  The courtroom cleared out until it was only us standing between the tables we’d gone to war at.

  “No matter what happens, what she rules, I will never forgive you for what just happened. I’m ashamed of you, and Sullivan would be, too. How could you use him like that? Use the fire?”

  Xander shook his head at me in confusion. “Forgive me? You’re the one who keeps trying to kill Dad even though the doctors have said he’s not mentally capable of making that choice. And you want to blame this on me? I have no choice but to stick to the decisions he made before he lost his mind, because that man we saw up on the stand is no longer our father!”

  “He’s still Dad! He doesn’t want tubes and ventilators! He wants the dignity of making that choice, and you can’t even give him that? You have to shred what’s left of his pride in front of the entire town?” My voice rose.

  “You made me do it!” Xander shouted. “Do you think I wanted this? Any of this? I don’t! I said, ‘Hey, Dad, you need a medical power of attorney, just in case you need someone to sign for a surgery or something.’ Do you know when that was?” He shook with anger. “It was five years ago, after Sully died! I never saw this coming! I never wanted this!” He motioned to the courtroom. “Never wanted to be responsible for his care, for making decisions that would mean his life or death over and over and over. But that’s what happened, because you were too busy being a hero to bring your ass home! But they don’t give you medals when you stay home, do they?”

  His voice echoed in the empty room, and I began to understand. I’d been so focused on the house of cards crumbling at the top that I hadn’t stopped to look at the foundation. Xander was never going to let me win, because that’s how he saw this.

  “You honestly don’t think he deserves to choose what happens to him,” I stated softly.

  “He’s not capable of choosing. I have to choose for him. I have to step up, just like always, because you want to take the easy way out. So fine, I have, and I will, and every choice I make for him will be with his life and health in mind. I’m keeping our dad alive as long as I can, Cam. That’s what a son does for his father.”

  “Yeah? And what would a brother do for a brother?”

  “What do you mean?” Xander asked. “I would fight for you, too.”

  God, I hoped not.

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” I told him, then left the courtroom without another backward glance. Simon led me to a quiet room, where I sat with Willow, her hand steady in mine, her head on my shoulder.

  “I told your father on opening day that you were lonely,” she told me.

  I turned my head, and she lifted hers.

  “He replied that all great and precious things are lonely.”

  My brows knit together, and she nodded. That line… Holy shit. The same man who’d mocked me for always having my nose in a book as a kid took the time to read the one I’d declared my favorite, and not just once, but enough to recall that line.

  I kissed her forehead with gratitude and held her against my side as we waited for the judge to decide Dad’s fate.

  …

  “This case is definitely not an easy one,” Judge Wilson told us four hours later. The room held its breath.

  “Mr. Daniels,” she said to me. “Your love for your father is obvious. The dedication you’ve shown by moving home and seeing this through is admirable. I truly think you are acting in what you feel is his best interest, and I would have done exactly the same had it been my father who called.”

  I nodded as nausea turned my stomach into a cesspool of bile and hope.

  “But in order for me to change the current guardianship, your brother has to be proven negligent, and he’s not. He’s stable, with a proven history of caring for your father. I cannot find legal grounds to grant you guardianship, no matter how much I would like to.”

  That pit in my stomach filled with dread and defeat as the sour taste of despair hit my tongue.

  “Mr. Daniels,” she addressed my brother. “You have done an excellent job of caring for your father’s body. I understand the strain you must be under. Being a parental caregiver isn’t easy. You deserve to keep your guardianship based on your history. However
, I would urge you to listen to your father. Though legally, he cannot be deemed competent enough for me to order a DNR on his behalf, I sincerely hope you change your mind.

  “The ability to control what happens to our flesh and to choose our future is the core of our personhood. Free will is the most precious of our possessions, and to lose it is a tragedy to which there is no equal. But the compassion we show to those who lack that control—both the very young who have yet to claim it and the very old who face its loss—that is the essence of our humanity. While I don’t think you lack compassion, I do think you lack empathy for your father’s plight, and I hope you find it before he’s made to suffer again.

  “I find in favor of the defendant, who will retain guardianship of Arthur Daniels.” The gavel hit the bench.

  Dad no longer had a say in the rest of his life.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Willow

  “So how did you choose?” I asked Rose, who had just finished telling me about the love triangle she’d found herself in the middle of. Apparently where you sat at her school’s lunch table was the step before an engagement ring, and while she always sat next to Addison, her best friend, her other side was the hottest commodity at Alba Elementary.

  “I haven’t yet, but I have a plan,” she told me as we made our way through the crowd that had gathered for the ribbon-cutting at the mine. It was hard to believe it was already the Fourth of July, and even more unbelievable that Cam had made enough progress for this soft opening. We still had a few hours to go, but locals and tourists alike had made their way up to the Rose Rowan already.

  “What is this plan?” Cam asked, sneaking up behind us.

  “Hi, Cam!” Rose’s smile was instant and bright.

  “Hi, Rosie.” Cam picked her up in a hug before kissing me quickly.

  “Rose apparently has to choose between two boys,” I told him as he took my hand in his.

  “What? I thought boys had germs and stuff at your age.”

  Rose flat-out rolled her eyes at him. “There they are.” She not-so-subtly pointed to two boys who stood near the punch table.

  “Wait, this showdown is happening here?” Where was her mother when I needed her? I rose on my tiptoes to see if Charity stood out in the crowd, but it was too thick to find anyone who wasn’t as tall as Cam.

  Speaking of tall, there was Alexander, having his picture taken over by the podium. Now I was the one rolling my eyes.

  “It’s not a showdown. It will be easy, see?” She slipped her Rose Rowan backpack from her shoulder and pulled out two glittery unicorn pins. “I’ve been conducting an experiment, and now it’s time to test out my hypoth…” Her forehead puckered.

  “Hypothesis,” I offered.

  “Yep!” She grinned and put her pack back on.

  “Do you want to explain?” I asked, noting that one of the boys was shorter with glasses and the classic underdog haircut, while the other could have modeled for Fourth Grade Weekly or whatever.

  “Later,” she promised.

  “Need some muscle?” Cam offered, eyeing the boys.

  “I can take care of myself, but thank you!” she called over her shoulder as she walked toward the boys.

  “I don’t know how I feel about this,” I muttered.

  “Ditto,” he agreed, squeezing my hand.

  We watched as Rose presented the boys with the pins.

  “I wish we could hear what they’re saying.”

  “If I’d known, I would have wired up a mic.” His eyes narrowed, and he leaned forward like he could wish himself into supersonic hearing.

  The taller boy took the pin and forced a smile, then slipped it into the front pocket of his jeans. The shorter one grinned at Rose and then stuck it to the front of his Star Wars shirt.

  Rose smiled at the shorter boy, said something that made him grin even wider, then ran back over to us.

  My heart melted into a puddle of goo as I realized what she’d done and what the man I loved had inadvertently done for her.

  “It worked!” she said, her eyes shining with the wisdom of childhood.

  “What worked?” Cam asked, his gaze darting back to the boys.

  “My experiment!” She raised her hands in victory.

  “Well, I think it’s about to get interesting,” I said as I spied the taller boy coming over. He fumbled with the pin but eventually got the back through his polo and fastened it.

  “Rose!” he called, waving enthusiastically. “Look!” He pointed to the pin.

  She sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Drake, but it’s too late.”

  “And way too early,” Cam muttered, earning him a poke with my elbow.

  “But I like it! I really do!” he proclaimed with big blue eyes.

  “No you don’t.” She shook her head emphatically. “You just want me to think you like it. There’s a difference.”

  “Burn,” Cam drawled.

  “No one says that anymore,” Rose lectured him, but she did it with a smile.

  “Fine,” Drake snapped, ripping the pin from his shirt and leaving a hole in the fabric. “Keep your stupid unicorn. I don’t want it anyway.” He thrust it at Rose, and when she didn’t take it back, Cam reached over and took it for her.

  The boy looked up and up, and when he finally met Cam’s eyes, his widened. Then he ran.

  “Thank you for proving my hypothesis!” Rose shouted after him.

  “That’s the word! Good job!” I told her with a high five.

  Cam had already fastened the pin above the Rose Rowan logo on the button-down shirt he wore. I had zero doubt the white fabric would be stained with dirt by the end of the first train run, but I loved that he had the sleeves rolled up, not caring what anyone thought of his tattoos.

  “Camden, the newspaper is here all the way from Denver. They’re hoping to get an interview with you and Xander and maybe your dad?” Walt asked with more than a little hesitation. “It’s understandable if you want to say no or if you’d like to use his camera to violently bash your brother over the head.”

  A smile ghosted Cam’s lips, and he sighed. “It’s okay, Walt. It’s good for the mine, and with the cost of at-home care, I’ll take all the free publicity I can get.”

  “Don’t have too much fun,” I told him.

  He kissed me as a reply. He was doing that more often, too—kissing me in public, ignoring what anyone thought about him or us. It wasn’t an act of rebellion like it would have been when he was younger. Now it was because he genuinely didn’t care what anyone thought and knew I didn’t, either.

  We were happy, and that made all the difference.

  “I should have brought one for you, too,” Rose mumbled.

  “I don’t need one,” I assured her, spying Charity standing with her boyfriend. “You already know I don’t care what people think about me.”

  Her eyes widened. “You get it.”

  “Cam? The ice pack?” I asked.

  “First, you have to answer a question.” She pinned me with her stare as people moved around us, heading for the buffet or the display of historical pictures.

  “Okay?”

  “Your unicorn pin. Who gave it to you? You know, the one you lost in the mine?” She tilted her head toward the Rose Rowan.

  “Cam. He bought two at the Mother’s Day shop at school that year. One for me and one for his mom.” Lillian had been buried with hers.

  She frowned. “I bet you really miss it.”

  “The pin? Well, of course it would be nice to have it, but I made peace with losing it a long time ago.” Seeing how sad that seemed to make her, I pushed forward. “But you know, the mine is opening today! There’s always the chance that someone finds it. Who knows! I don’t remember where I was, but Cam has the 1880 tunnel ready for exploration, so any one of these thousand tourists
might stumble onto it.”

  “But what if one of them thinks it’s treasure and keeps it?” she demanded.

  “I can’t really control that.” I kept my voice soft, trying to soothe her.

  “Why didn’t you look for it?”

  “I was too scared,” I admitted. “Even now, the mine scares me at times. Reminds me of being trapped and lost and hurt.”

  “Still?” she whispered.

  “Yep. Sometimes fears don’t die just because you get bigger. They just get bigger, too.” I shrugged.

  She nodded, as if mulling something over in her head. “I’m going to go find Mom, okay?”

  “Sure thing. She’s right there.” I pointed to the lone grove of aspen trees, and she hugged me before taking off.

  I made my rounds, stopping to talk with Dad and John Royal before getting called over to Mom and the Ivy’s crew. They all wanted to know how Cam was after that horrid display Milton Sanders had put on.

  None of them mentioned that he’d done so at Xander’s request. In that regard, he’d come out of last month’s hearing squeaky-clean. Sure, it was sad that he wouldn’t give Art the DNR, but if the doctors and the judge said Art didn’t know what he was asking for, then really, he was just a son defending his father’s life.

  After about twenty-five minutes of that crap, I made my excuses and snuck out of their gossipy clutches, with Mom mouthing, Run.

  I chatted with Julie Hall and flipped off Oscar Hudgens when he walked by, then took Julie and her boys over with Thea and Jacob to see the trains, telling them all about the history of the ore carts.

  “Willow, will you ask Rose if she wants to grab lunch now or after the ceremony?” Charity asked, walking over with her boyfriend.

  I noted with a smile that she’d finally brought him out in public and that the Salida resident was wearing a unicorn pin.

  “What? You ask her,” I teased. “Hi, I’m Willow,” I introduced myself.

  “Travis.” He smiled as he shook my hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

  “Same here.”

  “Yes, yes, now you know each other. Willow, seriously, grab Rose for me.” She looked over at the train and waved to Thea and Julie.