The Kingdom Razed by Dragons

by Virlyce

  “Uh. Sure,” the skeleton said and scratched his head. “I’ll do that?”

  “That’s right,” Prika said and stuck her chest out. “As empress, my first decree is to make Fridays mandatory pink robe day! Those who don’t wear a pink robe will be sentenced to a lifelong service of writing tasteful romance novels.” She nodded. “Oh, and make sure everyone’s educated. I want to read good books, you hear?”

  “Understood, Empress,” the skeleton said and saluted. “Do skeletons have to wear pink robes too?”

  “Yes.”

  ***

  “Leader!” The first thing the skeleton scout did when it returned to the super-secret spooky skeleton shelter was report to Mr. Skelly. “There’s a serious problem. The red dragon, Prika, has claimed Konigreich, Konigreich the Second, and whatever Tafel’s territory was called for herself. She renamed the lands the Pyrrhic Empire.”

  Mr. Skelly tilted his head and clacked his jaws once. “That’s a problem?” he asked. He placed his hand to his head and froze. A few seconds passed before he frowned. “I can’t contact the unholy mistress. Well, it should be fine. Our mistress gets along well with Prika.”

  “She declared Fridays as mandatory pink robe day,” the skeleton scout said. “If, if we don’t wear pink, then she’ll enslave us in a lifelong service of writing romantic novels for her.”

  Mr. Skelly tilted his head. “But we’re dead…?”

  “Then we’ll have to work for her forever!”

  Mr. Skelly’s yellow bones turned white. “Damn,” he said. “That truly is a problem. For now, listen to her orders. I’ll take a squad of our most elite troops and chase after the mistress. She must be informed about Prika’s usurpation of power!”

  Without having to say anything, hundreds of skeletons assembled around Mr. Skelly. They were wearing the finest armors of the demons’ and humans’ kingdoms that they had acquired during the brief war that happened over a decade ago.

  The skeleton scout saluted. “Then I will keep the dragon preoccupied. The only problem is finding enough pink dye to create robes for every person within the three kingdo—no, empire now. Perhaps we should cooperate with the fairies and create illusions for everyone?”

  “Mm. Yes, the fairies,” Mr. Skelly said. “I almost forgot about them.” He rubbed his bony hands together. “I just thought of hundreds of new tactics we could employ with illusions.” He sighed. “It’s a shame we have no enemies to experiment on. Perhaps the mistress will need our help where she is.” A cackle escaped from his nonexistent throat. “As long as one’s still living, one can always dream, right?”

  ***

  Lulu hummed as she threw a green tree into a massive pool of water. She was in her corner of the cavern, a layer of miscellaneous materials scattered amongst her paws. By the pool of liquid, there was a hole in the ground which she blew fire into until the water started boiling.

  “Mom,” her brother called out from across the cavern. He was bathing in a patch of moonlight, watching his little sister throw things into her natural cauldron. “Lulu’s making weird things again.”

  “Shut up, Luke!”

  Kondra opened one eye and peered at her daughter. Lulu was glaring at her brother, ready to throw the massive ingot in her claw for ratting her out. Kondra sighed. “Just don’t blow up the living room again.”

  “That only happened because Dad knocked over my stuff!” Lulu said. She puffed her cheeks out and narrowed her eyes at her father.

  “If you weren’t so messy, I wouldn’t have knocked anything over,” her father said, rolling his eyes. “Besides—”

  “Hush,” Kondra said and covered her mate’s snout with her claw. “Did you feel that?”

  Lulu’s brow furrowed. A fluctuation of mana washed over her, causing her to look up. Two dragons flew overhead, blotting out the moon as they descended towards the transparent ceiling. “It’s Leila!”

  The ceiling shimmered as the two dragons passed through and landed heavily in the center of the cavern. A black dragon flared his wings outwards and roared, causing Lulu to flinch and drop the ingot in her paw into the pool of bubbling water. But she didn’t seem to care about the lost material or ruined formula. Her eyes were glued on the black dragon by Leila’s side. Did her sister really…?

  “My name is Grimmoldesser!” Grimmy leaned back and sat on his haunches, crossing his front legs over his chest. His voice echoed through the chamber. “Leila is my mate!”

  Lulu fainted.

  Kondra’s eyes widened as she climbed to her feet. She snarled and bared her teeth at Grimmy, taking a step forward while raising her head into the air, looking down on the black dragon. She was a little bit bigger than him due to her being older, but Grimmy didn’t back down as he glared back at her.

  “Hi, Mom,” Leila said, stepping in between the two dragons. “This is the mate I’ve been telling you about.”

  “A dragon of darkness?” Leila’s brother asked from his patch of moonlight. “Oh boy, you’ve done it now.” He rose to his feet and slinked away, fleeing from the cavern.

  Kondra glared at her daughter. “Leila…,” she said. “This is the gallant dragon you’ve been telling me about? Grimmoldesser!?” She roared the last word, white fire spewing from her mouth.

  “I’m very gallant, thank you very much,” Grimmy said with a nod as he snuffed the flames with his tail. “You haven’t even gotten to know me yet; why do you sound so angry?”

  “Grimmy is actually very sweet, Mom,” Leila said, blocking her mother’s view by spreading her wings. “He’s not the one who forced the dwarves to leave. Probably. And look—he even has a holy warrior as a mascot.”

  Lindyss’ eye twitched at the term mascot. She appeared from behind Grimmy’s wing and waved at Kondra, a white halo above her head. “This lowly warrior greets the matriarch of the land,” Lindyss said and lowered her head.

  Kondra blinked at Lindyss before squinting her eyes. “You’re following someone like him?” she asked, gesturing towards Grimmy. “He’s a dragon of darkness, you know?”

  “He’s actually very virtuous despite his outer appearance,” Lindyss said, her face cramping. “I admire him greatly. He has saved my life before and helped me overcome many of my tribulations.” Sweat rolled down Lindyss’ back. Before, she wasn’t sure why Leila and Grimmy had insisted on bringing her along to meet the family, but now she knew they needed someone to vouch for Grimmy.

  Kondra sat on her haunches and pursed her lips, staring at Grimmy.

  “I’m taken, lady,” Grimmy said and snorted. “Don’t look at me like that.”

  A vein bulged on Kondra’s forehead. “Crass,” she said. “What method did you use to fool my daughter and that holy warrior?”

  “Method?” Grimmy asked, tilting his head. “The only method is my overwhelming charisma. The fact that I’m handsome doesn’t hurt either.”

  “Arrogant too,” Kondra said with a snort. “As expected from a cursed dragon.”

  Lindyss shivered as proverbial sparks flew between Grimmy’s and Kondra’s eyes. I’m really starting to hate dragons. She pursed her lips and tried to climb down from Grimmy’s wing, but he stopped her and held her in his claw. Grimmy waved her in front of Kondra like a child would wave a toy. “Aren’t holy dragons supposed to have great respect for blessed warriors of light?” he asked. “Do you think they’d be corrupted by a cursed dragon? Of course not. You don’t believe her when she says I’m a virtuous dragon?”

  Kondra’s brow furrowed. “Well…,” she said and scratched her chin. “I distrust cursed dragons more than I trust holy warriors. And I doubt she’ll continue vouching for you if you keep waving her around like that.”

  “She’s sturdy, don’t worry,” Grimmy said as he stopped moving his claw. Lindyss’ face was green.

  “Mom,” Leila said before Kondra could say anything. “I’ve already accepted Grimmy as my mate. Anything you say now won’t change that. In fact, I actually have an egg waiting at home, read
y to hatch after a year.”

  Kondra froze. Her brow furrowed as her head lowered. Lindyss could almost see the gears turning in the dragon matriarch’s head through her eyes. The surrounding dragons waited in silence as smoke drifted out of Kondra’s nostrils. Finally, she managed to ask a single word, “R-really?”

  Grimmy stared at Leila with an expression that was similar to Kondra’s. Leila puffed her chest out. “That’s right,” she said with a nod. “You’re going to be a grandmother.”

  Tears formed in Kondra’s eyes, and she wiped at them with the backs of her paws. “I’m really going to be a grandmother?” She pounced on her mate who hadn’t spoken a single word since Grimmy and Leila arrived. “Did you hear that? I never thought I’d see the day! I was worried our children would live in our basement for the rest of their lives.” She sobbed as she hugged her mate who patted her back and stroked her wings.

  Lindyss exchanged a glance with Grimmy. She mouthed, ‘You’re going to be a father!?’

  Grimmy mouthed back, ‘I’m going to be a father!?’

  Leila nodded, a smug expression on her face.

  ***

  Gale sighed as he stared at the sky, lying on his back as the raft beneath him rocked back and forth in time with the waves. He didn’t know how long he had been at sea for, but his skin was dried and cracked, his face tanned and stubbled. There were a few stains on his white robes as well. Breeze had managed to keep him alive by hunting the monstrous sea creatures that’d occasionally surface to take a bite out of the raft. The smell of raw fish made him nauseous, but there was nothing else to eat.

  “Nice weather we’re having, huh?” Breeze asked, shielding his eyes from the sun.

  Gale wasn’t sure if the amalgamation of resentful spirits actually needed light to see or if he enjoyed taking on human characteristics. Gale sighed instead of answering. His face hurt from exposure to the sun and the random sprays of salt water.

  “Nice weather we’re having, huh?” Breeze asked again, this time looking at Gale.

  “It’s horrible,” Gale said with a groan. Drinking fish blood to survive had left his throat sore and raspy. “I wish it would rain.”

  “That’s what you always say,” Breeze said.

  Maybe if you stopped asking the same question, I would say something else. Gale raised his head and glared at Breeze before lying down again. “How much longer until we reach Fuselage?”

  Breeze stared at Gale. “Do I look like a sailor? Weren’t you navigating by keeping track of the stars?”

  “Uh, no?” Gale asked, sitting up. They were lost? Didn’t Breeze know what he was doing?

  “…But you’ve been staring at the sky the whole time,” Breeze said, tilting his head.

  Because it’s easier to lie down than to sit up. Gale brought his cracked hands to his face and sobbed into them. Was this his punishment for drinking as the pope? Or was it his punishment for not attending the king’s wedding?

  “Hey,” Breeze said, an awkward expression on his face. He sidled over to Gale and placed his hand on the crying man’s shoulder. “What’s wrong? Everything’s going to be alright. We have each other, don’t we?”

  Gale raised his head, glaring at Breeze with red eyes. “I lied! Okay!? I lied,” he said through sobs. “There’s no undead apocalypse. There’s no curse over the land converting the living into the dead. There’s no hostile army of skeletons seeking to destroy the world! Do you understand!?” He sniffled and wiped away the tears in his eyes. Breeze hadn’t reacted, and Gale’s stomach hurt as he imagined the repercussions. Why wasn’t he saying anything?

  “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Breeze asked, staring off into the distance. He hadn’t even heard Gale’s words. His gaze was transfixed on the horizon, a massive blob of … something headed towards the raft.

  Gale squinted and shielded his eyes from the sun. Was that a boat? Who would be crazy enough to be this far out in the ocean? A low murmur reached his ears. At first, he thought it was one of those giant sea creatures singing underneath the sea again, but as the speck on the horizon got closer, his tanned face paled.

  We sail, we sail, we set sail for home.

  For home is where the mistress lives, we set sail for home.

  We toil, we row, we set sail for home.

  Servants of her undying curse, we set sail for home.

  We sing, we dance, we sink the mighty beasts.

  We spend our days in revelry; we will never be released.

  Giant squids, rabid sharks, the turtles with no feet.

  We brave the perils of the sea, oh, what a mighty feat.

  We sail, we sail, we set sail for war!

  For war is where the mistress lives, we set sail for war!

  We toil, we row, we set sail for war!

  Servants of her immortal blessing, we set sail for war!

  We hunt! We kill! We raze the foreign streets!

  We spend our days pillaging, for we will be unleashed!

  Crying children, bloody sheathes, the death beneath our feet!

  We feel no thirst and never hunger, but this will be a treat!

  A massive ship made of hundreds of skeletons holding onto each other floated by Gale’s raft. The skulls along the walls of the ship turned to stare at the man and the resentful spirit before cackling. A few armored skeletons with eyepatches aboard the ship peered over the side. Mr. Skelly cackled and waved his hand. A massive fireball materialized in the air and fired upon the raft.

  Gale screamed as the blazing projectile flew towards him. He grabbed Breeze and leapt off the side of the boat, ignoring the stinging sensation of salt water against his cracked skin. The fireball smashed into the raft, destroying it and sending a pillar of sea water into the air. The spray fell against Gale’s face and passed straight through him.

  Mr. Skelly cackled. “It’s just an illusion. Calm down, Mr. Commander. I’m not permitted to kill,” he said and high-fived the fairy fluttering beside him who had been invisible a moment earlier. “But don’t think I’ve forgotten you. I might not have a brain, but remembering someone I kidnapped ten years ago is quite easy.” He left the side of the boat and approached the steering wheel that wasn’t connected to anything and shouted, “We continue!”

  The skeletons making up the boat’s frame extended their arms and paddled the boat through the water. Oarsmen weren’t needed when the boat could row itself. The skeletons sang as they disappeared into the horizon, speeding away as fast as a shark could swim.

  We sail, we sail, we set sail for fun.

  For fun is where the mistress lives, we set sail for fun…

  Gale and Breeze boarded their raft, which had repaired itself after the illusion dispersed. “This has become a lot worse than I thought,” Breeze muttered as he stroked his chin. “If the skeletons are even heading to Fuselage, where will we go?” He glanced at Gale, who was trembling while clutching his own shoulders. Unintelligible sounds escaped from Gale’s lips. Breeze sighed. It seemed like Gale was once a commander in the great war between mankind and the undead. He must’ve suffered through enormous amounts of torture to be in this state just by seeing skeletons. “Then it’s all up to me.” Breeze glanced around and picked a random direction that the skeletons hadn’t gone towards. “We’re going there.”

  ***

  Tafel stopped in front of a metal gate, eyes closed, and inhaled through her nose while spreading her arms out to the side. The surrounding people were staring at her, pointing at the horns on her head. The guards at the gate had their weapons at the ready. “Ah, the sweet smell of a brand-new town,” she said and opened her eyes, smiling at the citizens. “It smells like adventure.”

  “It smells like poop,” Vur said and wrinkled his nose. Stella nodded as well, covering her nose with Vur’s hair.

  “Vur…,” Tafel said and pouted. “You have no adventuring spirit.”

  “E-excuse me,” one of the guards said. “But, uh, what are you?”

  “An adventurer,” Ta
fel said with a nod.

  “Oh,” the guard said. He nodded and furrowed his brow before muttering, “That isn’t exactly what I was asking, but okay.” He cleared his throat. “Do you have an identification card? Your adventurer card will work.”

  “Yeah, it’s right…,” Tafel said before freezing. She sighed as she realized the bag on her waist wasn’t her usual one. “No. No, we don’t.”

  “Then the entry fee will be two silver,” the guard said.

  Vur frowned. “Can we just throw him away?” he asked as Tafel took two coins out of her bag. “Dragons don’t pay taxes.”

  The guard frowned as he tightened his grip on his halberd. “Actually, the holy dragons do pay taxes,” he said. “They were the ones who instated them.”

  Vur tilted his head, and Stella copied his action. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Then they’re not dragons.” He snorted and stepped forward as his eyes glowed. An explosion of wind radiated outward from his body, knocking everyone away except for Tafel and Stella. He stepped forward, ignoring the screams, and kicked down the gate before stomping inside.

  Tafel groaned as she clutched her head. She tossed the silver coins onto the fallen guard along with a gold coin. “Use that to repair the gate,” she said and sighed. “Sorry. I have to catch up to him before he does anything else.”

  The guards didn’t react until after Tafel and Vur had disappeared from view. “You know, I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” one of the guards said as he adjusted his helmet. “But we really don’t get paid enough for this. Yesterday, we were turned into goats. Today, we were beaten down by a party of weirdos. What’ll happen tomorrow?”

  “Don’t jinx it,” his companion said with a grimace.

  “Vur!” Tafel said and grabbed her husband’s arm. “Why did you do that?”