by Virlyce
“Nearly a week then,” the receptionist said with a nod. “Can you describe their characteristics? Zombies, ghouls, skeletons? I assume your tribe wouldn’t have engaged if there were any liches or dullahan present.”
“Skeletons,” George said. “Lots of skeletons. Easily over a hundred of them.”
“Fishmen skeletons?”
“Human.”
“Interesting,” the receptionist said as he finished filling out the paper. “I’ll place the scouting mission on the commission board. After the scouts return, we’ll determine what to do from there.”
“It’ll be too late by then!” George said. “My tribe will be wiped out!”
“I understand your frustration, but there’s really nothing else that can be done,” the receptionist said. “I can only follow protocol.”
George’s teeth clacked as he ground them together. He dropped the bag by his waist onto the receptionist’s desk. “Leviathan scales and teeth! I’d like to sell them and recruit a group of A-ranked adventurers to cleanse the shores.”
The lobby fell silent once again. A few adventurers in the corner glanced at each other before standing up. “We’ll undertake the mission,” a young, well-dressed man said. He and his companions looked like they’d belong at a dinner party rather than on an adventure. “Skip the middleman and give us those materials directly, and I assure you we will fulfill your request with ease.”
“Done!” George said.
The receptionist glanced at the approaching party. “Evan Lancefell, the son of Duke Lancefell,” he said and nodded at George. “You can trust him and his party.”
“I’d like to come too,” a voice said. “I’m just a C-ranked adventurer, but I don’t expect any rewards. Please take me with you.”
“And me!”
“Count me in as well.”
A flabbergasted expression appeared on George’s face as he looked around. Why were so many people volunteering now? Maybe he should’ve started with the leviathan scales and teeth. The noble human, Evan, smiled at him. “Surprised?”
“A little,” George said as he nodded at the gathering mob.
“That’s the influence of a noble,” the well-dressed girl beside Evan said as she stuck out her hand. “We’re the Shining Stars of Lancefell. It’s a pleasure to do business with you.”
“Ah, yeah,” George said and nodded as he took her hand. It was soft compared to a fishman’s scales. He placed the bag of materials into Evan’s waiting palm. Why were the merchants who came to do business with his tribe always badmouthing the nobles? They seemed like good people.
“Do you have any more of these?” Evan asked as he put the bag away. He placed his arm around George’s shoulder and led the group outside.
“Not on me,” George said. “But the undead arrived on a dead leviathan. It should still be on the beach.”
“Excellent,” Evan said. “We set off immediately. To the stables!”
***
“Leader!” a skeleton said and raised the spear it liberated from a black fishman. “We finished tying them up.”
“Very good,” Mr. Skelly said with a nod. He stomped in front of the bound and gagged fishmen who were piled up on the beach. “A few got away, but that’s okay.” He cleared his nonexistent throat. “Greetings! We’ll begin the inspection now.”
The fishmen’s eyes widened as skeletons lined them up in neat rows on the beach. A large cluster of fairies flew over and peered at the scaled creatures, poking them and rubbing their skin. Mr. Skelly turned his head and asked the red-haired fairy hovering by his shoulder, “Can you do it?”
“Of course!” the red-haired fairy said. “Our illusions can only be seen through by our mother. And Vur, but he’s not here so that doesn’t matter.”
“Rella! You said I could start,” a blue-haired fairy said and flew up to her sister. She stuck her tongue out to the side and pointed at Mr. Skelly. The air around him shimmered and warped. Blotches of green and blue floated into the air, and soon, a fishman was standing in Mr. Skelly’s place.
Mr. Skelly lowered his head and inspected his scaly hands, flipping them over and waving them about. He pressed against his newly formed flesh, but his finger went straight through until he touched the bones in his palm. “It’s good enough,” Mr. Skelly said and cackled.
“What do we do with the fishmen afterwards?” a skeleton asked as a fairy worked on transforming its appearance.
“That’s a bit difficult to say,” Mr. Skelly said and rubbed his chin. “Our orders were, ‘conquer everything,’ ‘spread fear and terrorize everyone,’ ‘continue doing what we’ve always have,’ and ‘knit a few sweaters or something,’ but I’m not sure if the mistress was serious about that part. Oh, and ‘teach the dwarves a lesson’—whatever that means.” He stepped forward and undid one of the fishmen’s gags. “I’m sure we can work something out, right?”
***
“I think you’re supposed to wait for the water to boil before adding those…,” Tafel said as she squatted over the pot in the campfire. The water was still, and the ladle was cold to touch.
“What do you mean?” Alice asked as she dumped a plate of carrots into the pot. “The water’s boiling.”
Tafel stared at the motionless water. She raised her head and inspected Alice’s face. The guild master was serious. “Uh. Do you know what boiling means?”
“When the water starts to bubble,” Alice said with a nod. She rotated the ladle’s handle, causing a bubble of air to surface from the depths of the pot. “See? Boiling.”
“I don’t think that’s right…,” Tafel said and scratched her head. “Like, at all.”
Alice snorted. “Who told me they wanted me to join because they liked my cooking? Are you going to question how I do things?” She whirled around and grabbed a few potatoes from Tafel’s bag before smashing them with the edge of her shield, whistling while doing so.
“Usually, bad cooks have a problem with burning food,” Tafel said and sighed. “Not undercooking them.”
“Your face is undercooked,” Alice muttered as she finished mashing her potatoes. She dumped them into the pot. “Quit messing with the fire!”
“Okay, okay,” Tafel said, raising her hands and backing away. The flames dancing on her fingers dispersed. It looked like she was going to eat fruit for dinner. Again. She sighed and sat down on a log while Alice ‘prepared’ some stalks of celery. Tafel shook her head and looked around. Their carriage was parked by the roadside, and a forest that reminded her of the wilderness was shrouded in darkness across from them. A rustling noise caught her attention.
A creature with the head of an eagle and body of a lion with two wings appeared at the edge of the forest. A fairy was sitting on top of its head, and Vur was carrying it on his shoulders. “I brought the meat.”
“Throw it in the pot,” Alice said without looking up. She continued to dice the celery with the sharp edge of her shield.
Vur stared at the tiny pot sitting on top of the fire. He raised his head and inspected the gryphon on his back. “…Just throw it in the pot?”
“Yes! What? You think it’s not boiling too?” Alice asked and snorted as she applied too much force and broke the plate underneath the celery stalks. She cursed and cleaned up the clay fragments.
Tafel kept her mouth shut as Vur approached the campfire and glanced at the fire again. He raised his head and blinked at Tafel. “She’s a bit grumpy and doesn’t like being told how to cook,” she said and shrugged. She rolled her eyes. “Even though she’s terrible at it.”
“Just throw it in the fire!” Alice yelled as she rummaged through Tafel’s bag, looking for more celery, her back still facing Vur.
“You sure?” Vur asked, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t think—”
“Am I the cook or are you!?” Alice shouted as she retrieved a tomato and frowned at it.
Vur shrugged and unceremoniously dumped the dead gryphon on top of the pot. The fire hissed as it was ex
tinguished, and the loud crack of metal breaking echoed through the night. Vur scratched his head. “I thought the pot would expand automatically or something.”
“Why did you think that?” Tafel asked.
“Well, her shield expanded during the fight, didn’t it?”
Tafel glanced at the crushed pot. “It looks nothing like her shield though.” She squinted. “Maybe if you look at it at just the right angle….”
“My hard work!” Alice screamed as she dropped the just-found celery in her hands. “Gah! A gryphon!? Where the heck did you find a gryphon!?”
Vur raised his head and squinted into the forest. He pointed at the dark outline of a mountain in the distance which was faintly illuminated by the moon. “Over there.”
Alice stared at Vur. “That mountain,” she said and pointed to where Vur was pointing. “Over there?”
Vur nodded.
“That’s over a week’s worth of traveling! How—no, why did you even go that far?”
“There was nothing good to eat here,” Vur said. He glanced at Stella, “Right?”
“Right,” Stella said and nodded as she plucked one of the gryphon’s feathers and stuck it into her hair.
“Not right!” Alice said as a vein bulged on her forehead. “Gryphons are an endangered species!”
Vur tilted his head. “Because they’re tasty?”
“Gah!” Alice threw her hands up into the air, splashing celery juice on Tafel. The guild master clutched her head and lowered it while letting out a strange groaning sound. Just when Tafel was about to check if Vur had broken her, Alice raised her head and exhaled. “Did anyone see you catch it?”
“Just Stella.”
“Good,” Alice said. “There’s laws against poaching, and if anyone found out and reported you, you’d be on a wanted list right about now. …Maybe I should report you.”
Tafel clapped her hands together once, drawing their attentions. “Well, it looks like there’s only one thing to do,” she said and swallowed her saliva. “Let’s eat the evidence.”
Vur smiled and ripped a leg off the gryphon, handing the dripping drumstick to Tafel. She tested a small piece of it before deciding not to cook it. Some magical beast meat provided more benefits when it was raw instead of cooked.
Alice stared at Vur, Tafel, and Stella as they stuffed their faces. She clutched her mouth and stomach as she turned her head away. “You’re not going to try some?” Vur asked. Stella tilted her head and flew towards Alice, holding onto a piece of meat.
“No,” Alice said. “I think—” Her eyes widened as Stella stuffed the flesh into her mouth. “Are you trying to kill me!?” She shouted, but the piece of gryphon remained in her mouth because Stella prevented it from leaving. “This is…. Wait. It tastes like how I normally make things. It’s really not that bad.” Her stomach growled as warmth flowed down her neck and into her limbs. She stared at the gryphon. It was already dead, right? It’d be a waste of an endangered species to just throw away the body….
Alice sighed as she sat next to Tafel. “I never thought there’d be a day when I’d eat a gryphon. Usually, I’m the one protecting them.” She tapped her forehead as a rune in the shape of a lion’s head appeared. “My great-grandfather was imprinted by a lion. Gryphons are almost like cousins to me.”
“Vur eats wyverns all the time,” Tafel said while Vur stuffed his face. “I’m sure you’ll get over it. And am I really the only one not imprinted here? Somehow, I feel cheated.”
“I can imprint you!” Stella said, raising her bloody hand into the air.
“Wait. Really?” Tafel asked.
Stella bobbed her head up and down. “I imprinted Vur, didn’t I?”
Vur, Tafel, and Alice stared at the smug fairy.
“Huh?”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Tafel said, holding her hand out as she placed her gryphon drumstick on the ground. “I was under the impression that someone could only be imprinted once.”
“You’re correct,” Alice said and nodded. “There have been three documented cases of people exploding after obtaining a second imprint and zero incidences of anyone surviving with two imprints.”
Vur tilted his head. “Then I’m dead?”
“No!” Tafel said. Her brow furrowed. “Actually, let me check real quick.” She teleported to his side and placed her hand against his neck, feeling for his pulse. It was there. “Yeah, you’re still alive. I was afraid Auntie reanimated you for a second.” She pursed her lips. “I can’t believe that’s something I had to check.”
Stella continued to munch on her gryphon flesh while hovering above the trio as if their discussion wasn’t her problem. Tafel glared at her before relaxing her expression—she’d rather not experience the curse of invisible spiders or whatever it was called. “So … are you going to explain what you meant by imprinting Vur?”
Stella pointed at Vur’s chest.
“The flower tattoo? That was an imprint?” Tafel asked. She frowned when the fairy queen nodded. “Why don’t you say it clearly?”
Stella swallowed, and her neck bulged as a lump traveled down her throat. “No speaking while chewing.” She nodded her head twice before landing on the gryphon, prying another piece of flesh off. “I imprinted Vur by imprinting Vur.”
“Weren’t you afraid of him exploding?” Alice asked.
Stella shrugged. “It was me, but not me.” Her forehead scrunched up as she tilted her head. “Right. It was the other me. Before this one.” She gestured towards herself. “But it should be fine? Vur hasn’t exploded yet.”
Vur scratched his head. “Then that makes me 50% fairy?” His brow furrowed. “This won’t affect me growing scales and wings, will it?”
You’d never have grown them in the first place, Tafel thought to herself. “It shouldn’t. Trust me.”
“Good,” Vur said with a nod. “So now I’m 50% fairy. I guess that’s okay as long as I’m still 100% dragon.”
“That makes 150% Vur!” Stella said, throwing her hands up into the air. “The numbers work out—that’s why there’s no explosion.”
Alice stared at Tafel with a look of undisguised pity. “This is the man you married,” she said in a flat voice.
“Please don’t look at me like that,” Tafel said and sighed. “What does a fairy imprint even give? Is it like a normal magical beast?”
Stella shrugged. “Ask the last me.”
“We’re already heading to the fairies’ homeland,” Alice said. “We can ask Erin, but I don’t know if she’ll respond. You three are fulfilling a request for her though, right? About the destroyed fairy spring? If you bring her good news, she might answer your questions. Did you figure out who did it?”
Vur nodded. “Yeah, it was us.”
Alice stared at Vur. She raised her hand and dug through her ears with her pinky. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”
“Yeah, it was us.”
“That’s what I thought you said the first time,” Alice said and sighed. She glanced at Tafel who had resumed eating the gryphon. “You’re not going to tell him that’s a bad idea?”
“I did,” Tafel said after swallowing.
“And nothing came out of it. Of course,” Alice said and sighed again. “I’m beginning to understand the three of you.” She pointed at Tafel. “The voice of reason.” She pointed at Stella. “A catalyst for disaster.” She pointed at Vur. “Unreasonable and deaf disaster.”
“Not quite right,” Tafel said. “Vur’s actually a positive disaster, not a negative one. Is there a word for that?” She shook her head. “Anyways, Vur may act unreasonably and solve all his problems through violence, but he’s not a disaster. He’s actually a good…, err, okayish king. The citizens love him.”
“How did a boy raised in the wild become a king?”
Tafel lowered her head and resumed eating.
“Well?” Alice asked, tilting her head. She glanced at Stella, who shrugged. “Vur?”
“If we meet a king,
I’ll show you,” Vur said with a nod. “I think you can do it too.”
***
Plumby yawned, his mouth stretching until his bright-red nose pointed at the sky. The metal carriage he was traveling in puffed out smoke as it crawled up the road. There was no horse or beast pulling it, but its wheels continued to roll, going uphill and defying gravity. Beside him, a beardless dwarf with green hair was whistling a tune, his legs swinging in the air of the carriage because his feet couldn’t reach the floor. Plumby hummed along to his assistant while swaying from side to side.
“I can’t wait to go home, boss general sir,” the green-haired dwarf said. “It’s way too humid at the assembly grounds. No wonder why Dupey and his cohorts didn’t show up.”
“Right?” Plumby asked, nodding his head. He tugged on the collar of his shirt a few times, unsticking the cloth from his skin. He exhaled and glanced up at the sky, frowning at the sun. A wisp of smoke floating up towards the clouds caught his attention, and he sat up straight before leaning forward. “What is that?”
The green-haired dwarf raised his head. “Smoke?”
“It’s not normal crafting smoke,” Plumby said and scrunched his forehead. “It’s thicker. Like tar and wood burning.”
“A house then,” the green-haired dwarf said. He lowered his head. “I hope it’s not mine.”
Plumby’s frown deepened as he stroked his chin. The carriage made it to the top of the hill, and the dwarves’ eyes widened. They were overlooking a burning city in the distance. Half of the buildings were set ablaze, and the other half of the buildings were already burnt to the ground. Splotches of unnatural colors were spread out around the city where tents had been set up. “My capital….”
“Oh dear,” the green-haired dwarf said. “I jinxed it. I hope—”
Plumby covered his assistant’s mouth. “Don’t jinx us again.” His brow furrowed as the carriage accelerated down the hill, heading towards the burning city. He scratched his head. “I wonder if someone failed to control their explosion. But we have fireproof rooms for experimentation.”
