by Virlyce
“I think we can trust her,” one of the dwarves standing by Poppy said. “She’s someone with integrity. I know you’re a secret admirer of hers and you just wanted to hear her say your name, Vice-General Sir Captain.”
“How do you know that?” Poppy asked and drew his head back. He blinked and furrowed his brow. “You didn’t rummage through my stuff, did you?”
“Of course not, Vice-General Captain Sir,” the dwarf said while saluting. “A week ago, HQ did tell us not to worry. Perhaps we really did make peace last night. With the berserk librarian coming here personally to give us gifts while bearing white bamboo poles, it’s safe to assume they aren’t here to take over the city. Look, none of them have weapons either. They aren’t dressed for war.”
Poppy squinted at the group in the distance before grunting. “I suppose you’re right. Do you think the berserk librarian will give me an autograph if I ask for one?”
“I’m sure she will, Vice-General Sir Captain.”
“Open the gates!” Poppy shouted. “We’ve made peace with the humans and they’ve come bearing gifts!”
The dwarf beside Poppy grinned, showing his teeth like a skeleton.
***
“Your Gloriousness!” a dwarf burst through a pair of double doors and panted as he placed his hands on his knees. “Your Gloriousness! Urgent news!”
“What is it?” Vur asked, dropping the penguin in his lap onto the floor beside him. It squawked and ran into the corner of the room, covering its head with its wings. Its bare butt trembled as it shivered, its talons clacking against the tile. Vur deposited the feathers he was holding into a bag and dusted off his hands.
The dwarf looked at Vur, then at the trembling penguin before clearing his throat. “Poppy lost the fortress he was holding,” the dwarf said and lowered his head.
Vur tilted his head and furrowed his brow. “Who was Poppy again? Why do all of your names end with a Y? It’s too difficult to remember. I declare all dwarves shall drop the Y in their names. Poppy will now be referred to as Popp. Moony will now be referred to as Moon. Zappy will now be referred to as Zapp. E will … stay as E.”
The dwarf hung his head. “Our names have been shortened even further,” he muttered. His eyes widened as he remembered what he was there to do. “Ah! Poppy—err, Popp was the holder of the fortress by the human territory near the mountains.”
Vur frowned as he pulled out a map from underneath his butt. He opened it and spread it out on the floor in front of him. “Which fortress did he lose?” Vur asked, raising an eyebrow. “The one near the mountains?”
The dwarf cleared his throat and scratched his neck while shifting his weight from foot to foot. His face contorted as his voice lowered. “Popp was in charge of the fortress that you, err, specifically told us we couldn’t lose no matter what under any circumstance at all even if the world were to end and the grim reaper offered to trade our lives for the fortress.”
Vur frowned and crumpled up the map, throwing it over his shoulder. It hit the penguin on its head, causing it to cry out, but Vur ignored it and glared at the dwarf in front of him. “You lost it even after what I said?” he asked. “How?”
“We, we’re not sure,” the dwarf whispered. “All communications were cut off yesterday. We haven’t received any responses to our messages, and our scouts say the fortress looks like it’s been abandoned. There’s no lights or movements or sound coming from it. They, they say it’s like all the residents were spirited away. Even the gate and windows are wide open. One of our scouts went inside, and … he was too scared by the atmosphere that he left. Unfinished meals were still left on the tables, but there were no signs of any struggles. Opened books and incomplete homework were found in the children’s rooms, and the stoves still had food being cooked with no one watching them.”
“Large-scale teleportation?” Vur asked. “That’s not very fair.”
“There were no traces of magic,” the dwarf said, biting his lower lip. “The men are scared. What kind of supernatural force are we fighting against?”
Vur snorted. “Refill the fortress,” he said. “If this happens again, let me know. I’ll go check it out myself if it does.”
“You’re not afraid of ghosts, Your Gloriousness?” the dwarf asked, eyes widening.
Vur raised an eyebrow. “Ghosts? I’ve eaten one. They’re not very tasty though—like bland noodles.” He waved a hand. “Go get people to refill the fortress and bring me a feathered penguin.”
“Yes, Your Gloriousness,” the dwarf said and saluted. He trotted out of the room and muttered to himself, “Are there any un-feathered penguins?” As he turned a corner, a cheeping sound caught his attention. He opened a closet door, and a group of naked, pink penguins greeted his eyes, their shriveled bodies huddled together for warmth. He stared at them before closing the door and scratching his head. “Huh. I guess there are.”
***
“Why did we leave?” Alice asked, furrowing her brow at the skeleton army. Somehow, the small group that she had led before swelled into a massive flood of undead. All of them were working together to carry enough dwarves to fill a fortress. Just a day ago, those dwarves were, in fact, filling a fortress. “That spot was a perfect location for defense. They’re not going to fall for a fake end of war tactic again.”
“Says who?” Mr. Skelly asked. “Only these fellows know about that strategy. I’m sure we can hit two or three more fortresses before the dwarves start catching on. For genius inventors, they’re not very wise.” He chuckled. “Besides, do you really think we left without doing anything to the fortress?”
“Didn’t you?” Alice asked. “I didn’t see any of you doing anything odd.”
Mr. Skelly clacked his teeth together. “You should learn to pay more attention,” he said. “Some people could steal your shoes from right underneath you and you wouldn’t even notice.”
Alice snorted and rolled her eyes. “What a load of baloney. Were you not confident in holding the fortress? Is that it? I know you skeletons run on those blue stones, so it really is possible for them to siege you.”
Mr. Skelly sighed and shook his head. “You’re still so wet behind the ears,” he said. “Sometimes, to take two steps forward, you have to take one step back. Haven’t you noticed the direction we’re traveling in?”
“The direction?” Alice asked and raised her head. “We’re going east.” She paused. “Wait. Why are we going deeper into dwarf territory? I thought we were retreating?”
“When I tell my men to retreat, I just mean for them to leave the vicinity we’re engaged in,” Mr. Skelly said. “Retreat doesn’t mean return to our base. Look, the fish has taken the bait.” He pointed off into the distance. “Fairies, camouflage!”
Alice frowned as a group of dwarves appeared on the horizon, marching towards the fortress the skeletons had abandoned earlier. A wall of mist appeared in front of her face, blurring out the approaching dwarves, as the fairies set about hiding the group. When the dwarves were within shouting distance, Mr. Skelly raised his hand into the air and closed it into a fist. The skeletons moved in unison, approaching the dwarves’ army from the side. At the very end of the group, there was a dwarf riding a pony with a musket on his lap. Mr. Skelly leaned forward and grabbed the dwarf, covering his mouth with his hand, and pulled him into the mist.
“Hey,” a dwarf said as he turned his head to the right. “Did you tap my shoulder?”
“No,” his buddy said and raised an eyebrow. “Maybe it was Jacky pulling a prank.”
“Jacky?” the dwarf asked, turning his head to the left. No one was there. “Dude, we’re following military protocols right now. Get out here and stop playing around.” He turned his head back to his first companion, but he had disappeared as well. The dwarf stopped marching and looked behind himself. A grinning skull stared him in the face. Before he could scream, a rag was shoved into his mouth and his body was engulfed by a light mist, disappearing from view.
30
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“Your Gloriousness!” The same dwarf from last time burst through a pair of double doors and panted as he placed his hands on his knees, taking the same posture as before. “Your Gloriousness! Terrible news!”
Vur lowered his mortar and pestle, placing it beside a pile of penguin feathers. “What is it?” he asked with a frown. “Don’t tell me you lost another fortress.”
“No, we didn’t,” the dwarf said as he straightened his back. He took in a deep breath through his nose before exhaling through his mouth. “The reinforcements we sent to Popp’s fortress…, they completely vanished! There weren’t even any signs of a struggle! They entered a valley but never came out, and distress flares weren’t sent up. Some supernatural phenomenon is taking place! Our men are being whisked away without a sound; their corpses aren’t even left behind.”
Vur’s frown deepened.
“I know what’s happening,” Sheryl said as she appeared on Vur’s shoulder. Instead of her usual formless fireball appearance, she took the shape of a phoenix with a pair of arms sticking out of her back behind her wings. “It’s definitely Zilphy. She’s a prankster.”
“Zilphy! That’s right!” the dwarf said, smacking his palm with his fist. “How come we didn’t think of her? She hasn’t been active recently, but she’s terrorized our cities for the past thirty years.”
“Didn’t I declare that names shall no longer have a Y at the end?” Vur asked while furrowing his brow. The dwarf gulped and opened his mouth to speak but closed it and hung his head.
“Zilphy’s a wind elemental,” Sheryl said, saving the dwarf. “She doesn’t fall under dwarven jurisdiction. How strong is she, Deedee? You know her best.”
“How many times must I request to not be called Deedee?” Diamant asked with a sigh. A blob of brown light appeared by Vur’s forearm, bobbing up and down as if it were being rocked by waves. “Zilphy is officially a gust elemental, but even tornado elementals recognize her as their leader. She refuses to evolve because it’d be easier for people to notice her, and all her hobbies depend on her not being noticed.”
“She’s a pervert?” Stella asked as her head popped out of Vur’s chest. She yawned and clapped her hand over her mouth a few times before blinking twice. “It’s decided then, Vur won’t contract her. I don’t need wind in my world anyway.”
“No, Zilphy’s not a pervert,” Diamant said. He paused. “Actually, she may be, but I wouldn’t know. But the hobbies of hers that I do know include stealing things, playing pranks, and eavesdropping and spreading rumors.”
“She sounds like a fairy,” Stella said. “I don’t like her.”
“But you’re a fairy,” Sheryl said, tilting her head.
Stella puffed her chest out as she flew into Vur’s hair. “Exactly. One of me is enough.”
“But you don’t steal things, spread rumors, or play pranks,” Vur said, rolling his eyes up to look at Stella.
Stella coughed and averted her gaze. “Anyway, like I was saying, don’t contract with Zilphy. Beat her up for messing with your army, but don’t contract her, got it?”
“Do you steal things?” Vur asked and scratched his head.
Stella coughed again. “If I stole something, where would I even put it?” A dry laugh escaped from her mouth. “Ah, look at the time. So sleepy. Good night.” She dissolved into motes of purple light that disappeared into Vur’s head.
Vur blinked and looked at Sheryl. “What did she steal?”
Sheryl shrugged. “Something small probably,” she said. “Fairies can’t steal large objects. Maybe a coin?”
Vur grunted. “Probably not important,” he said with a nod. He glanced at Diamant. “Do you know where Zilphy is? I don’t like third parties interfering in my games.”
“War is not a game, Your Gloriousness…,” the dwarf said.
Vur ignored him and prodded Diamant. The earth elemental sighed. “I know her favorite spots, yes,” he said. “She and I have a … complicated relationship. When I was still clan master, I was rich. And Zilphy’s a thief. It’s not a surprise we ran into each other a lot. It always ended with me chasing after her though.”
Vur nodded. “Then we’ll find her and force her to stop messing with the dwarves,” he said and turned towards the dwarf. “Reinforce the fortress again. Even if Zilphy takes our soldiers away, I’ll make her return them.”
***
Mr. Skelly sighed as he looked at the report in his hand. The skeletons had captured over five hundred dwarves in the span of four days. The logistics of settling them down was giving him a headache. “If only the mistress were here to deal with the technical stuff,” he said and sighed again, flipping the report back to the first page.
Alice tensed for a second before relaxing. “Mistress?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at the skeleton sitting across from her. They had relocated back to the fortress, deciding to settle down after dealing with the first wave of reinforcements. “What mistress?”
“The mistress,” Mr. Skelly said, placing the papers onto the desk between him and Alice. “The one who gives us life after death, our lord and resurrector, Lindyss the Corrupted One.”
“So mistress is a title,” Alice said with a nod. She exhaled and leaned back in her seat, then frowned as she wrinkled her brow. Why did she even care? She shook her head. “Then she’s the head of your weird religion, right? What’s she like?”
“It’s not nice to call other people’s religions weird,” Mr. Skelly said, causing Alice to roll her eyes. “The mistress….” He rubbed his jaw and squinted his eye sockets. “The mistress’ hobbies include knitting, ruling kingdoms, and spoiling Vur. She’s cruel to her enemies and … even crueler to her friends. The fairy friends, at least. She’s nice to Grimmoldesser, but that’s because it’s hard to be cruel to a dragon—because death.” Mr. Skelly nodded. “She’s a good person if you look past the fact she’s evil.”
Alice pursed her lips. “What kind of description is that? How can a good person be evil?”
Mr. Skelly scratched his head. “She’ll sacrifice thousands of people to help those close to her,” he said and nodded. “Sacrificing people is evil, but she’ll do it for a good cause. It’s like that.”
“She sounds insane,” Alice said with a frown. “I hope I never meet her.”
***
Lindyss groaned as she stood up and stretched her arms above her head. She yawned, closing her eyes in the process, and arched her back. She dusted off the back of her pants while staring at the mountain of books beside her. “Well, it seems like I’m finally done here,” she said with a nod. “I haven’t been outside in a while.”
“Really?” Erin asked as her torso bolted upright. She stood up and leapt into the air, hovering near Lindyss’ head. “Really, really? You’re finally going to leave the library? It’s not going to be like the last time you said you were done and moved onto a different section instead of leaving?”
Lindyss narrowed her eyes at Erin. “For someone who complains a lot, you stuck around for quite a while,” she said. “You’re a queen, aren’t you? Go do queen stuff instead of bothering me. How long are you going to follow me for?”
Erin puffed her chest out and placed her hands on her hips. “I’m free to do whatever I wish. And if I wish to follow you, then there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Lindyss sighed and shook her head. It wasn’t worth the effort to argue with the tiny queen. She had tried everything she could think of to shoo Erin away, but the fairy ignored it all. Even waking the fairy up by slamming a book on her whenever she fell asleep didn’t work. “I don’t understand you, but whatever,” she said. “As long as you don’t get in my way, I don’t care.”
“Be more grateful that I’m gracing you with my friendship. I can tell you don’t have many friends,” Erin said with a frown. She flew onto Lindyss’ head, but the cursed elf swatted her off with a swift backhand. Erin shook her fist at Lindyss as she followed her out of the library. “Rude!”
Lindyss snorted as she walked out the door and winced as the sunlight entered her eyes. She took a step back and retreated into the building, bumping into Erin and knocking her off course.
“Ack! What the heck are you doing?” Erin asked as she stabilized herself. “You said you were done! I’ll seriously fight you if you try to go back on your words.”
“It’s too bright out,” Lindyss said with a shrug. “Let’s wait until nighttime.”
“What are you? A vampire?” Erin asked with a scowl. She flew over to a dwarf in a corner who had a pair of sunglasses propped up on his head. “I’m borrowing these, thanks.” She snatched the sunglasses away from the dwarf before flying back to Lindyss. “Here, use these.”
Lindyss looked at the fairy carrying the sunglasses that were the same size as her tiny body. “So you’re not completely useless,” Lindyss said and took the sunglasses, ignoring the baffled dwarf in the corner. She put them on and nodded. “These’ll work.”
Erin shook her fist at Lindyss. “How dare you call me useless? Who translated those parts you didn’t understand, huh?” She prodded Lindyss’ cheek with her finger. “Huh? Who was it, Ms. I Think Mana is Read as Ladder?”
Lindyss rolled her eyes. “That’s why I said not completely useless. Calm down.” She strolled out of the library and spread her arms out to the side with a smile. “The sun’s warm.”
“Obviously.”
“I wasn’t talking to you,” Lindyss said with a snort.
Erin pouted “If not me, then who?”
“Myself. Here, I’ll do it again,” Lindyss said as she turned her head towards the right. “Don’t you think this fairy’s annoying?” She turned her head towards the left. “Yeah, I do. She’s like the clingy type that can’t handle rejection.” Her head turned back towards the right. “Right? I know exactly what you mean.”
