Homicide and Hot Tubs

by Annabel Chase

  Jules pulled a hanger from the closet and held a silver robe in front of her as though imagining herself wearing it. “You’re doing that thing again.”

  “What thing?”

  “Generalizing.” Jules put the robe back in the closet. “Vampires. Witches. Demigods. We’re all shades of grey like you. There’s no predetermined way we’re meant to behave. We have free will and we exercise it, which means that we make bad choices…but sometimes we make good choices too. And when the good choices outweigh the bad by enough, we end up here.”

  “What were your bad choices?” I asked.

  Jules’s face hardened. “I think we should focus on Akwan’s afterlife. Got it?”

  “Got it.” I stuck my head back in the chest. No way did I want to provoke the vampire’s temper. That would put me on the fast track to oblivion. “Hmm. What’s this?” I pulled out a framed photograph of Akwan with two other males. “Look, it’s Seth. The owner of Burger Bar.”

  Jules glanced over at the photo. “Yeah, they’re pre-afterlife friends.”

  “I guess that happens here a lot, like Hera, Zeus, and Cole.”

  “Not as often as you’d think. There are other villages like ours. Not everyone comes here.”

  I twisted to look at her. “Really? I didn’t know that. Then how do the Powers-That-Be decide which supernaturals go to which village?”

  Jules shrugged. “You’d have to ask them and they’re not talking.”

  “If they were, I wouldn’t be here.” I dusted off the photograph. “I think I’ll take this to Seth. He might appreciate having it now that Akwan is gone.”

  “You should probably wait and see whether he confesses first,” Jules said.

  I laughed. “No kidding. I’ve already got two on the hook. Why not a third?” I set the photograph on the floor beside me. “Man, if Akwan had left a death book, that might’ve made my job easier.”

  “How?” Jules asked. “It’s not like he knew what would happen.”

  “No, but he might’ve left instructions for someone to dispose of certain things he didn’t want anyone to know about and those certain things might be connected to his obliteration.”

  “You think a secret got him obliterated?”

  “I have no idea, but secrets have a way of biting everyone in the ass.” After all, it was a secret that got Zeus obliterated.

  “Everyone keeps secrets,” Jules said. “It’s natural to keep a part of ourselves hidden.” Jules pulled another hanger from the closet and examined the label on the shirt. “Except you, I guess.”

  I thought of what happened with Cole at my party. That was definitely a secret I hoped to keep. “I’m not completely an open book,” I admitted. I pulled a stack of music books from the chest and flipped through them. “I always want sharing to be my choice though. The more anyone digs, the more I cover myself in dirt.”

  Jules smiled, giving me a glimpse of her fangs. “I knew I liked you.”

  “Why are you helping me?” I asked. “There’s no blood to lick here. What’s in it for you?”

  The vampire replaced the hanger. “I don’t know. You’ve brought something new and different to Divine Place. I bore easily and you don’t seem boring.” She paused. “Yet.”

  “No, I can’t say I’ve ever been accused of being boring. Not one of my talents.” As I looked more closely at the music books, I realized that there were dozens of pages where someone—presumably Akwan—had written his own sheet music.

  I finished going through the chest and decided to investigate the other rooms. “Are you done trying on his clothes?”

  Jules scoffed. “I wouldn’t be caught undead in any of his outfits. No leather. Who plays in a band and doesn’t own leather?”

  “You know, Jules. I’ve been wondering about that.”

  “I’ve always wondered that about him. He wore these dull threads…”

  I laughed. “No, I mean you. It’s a billion degrees here and the humidity is off the charts most of the day and yet you insist on wearing leather. Aren’t you uncomfortable?”

  Jules glanced down at her leather-clad body. “Never.”

  “Okay then.” I collected the photograph and the music books and left them on the console table in the foyer before heading to the next room. It appeared as though Akwan had converted a spare bedroom into a music room. The walls were lined in thick padding and I’d seen enough serial killer movies to know it was for the purpose of soundproofing the room.

  “There’s his sax,” I said. The instrument rested on a stand in the middle of the room, clearly the focal point.

  Jules offered an admiring nod. “Shiny.”

  “If there was any looting happening here, someone would want that.” My statement triggered a thought. “We should bring it back to the lab for safekeeping. Anything personal and valuable, we can store in the drawers.”

  “Why would we do that?” Jules asked. “Is this because of what the witch said?”

  “It would be altruistic to protect Akwan’s belongings from looters like us, wouldn’t it?” Improvement points, here we come.

  Jules blew a raspberry. “Nobody’s going to steal it.”

  My eyes widened. “I do believe you were going to steal.”

  “Only because I was already coming to snoop around. If anyone wants any of it, they’ll file a petition with the HOA and ask for it.”

  “Is that how it works?” That explained why all of Ariadne’s belongings were still in my house. Nobody had wanted any of it. Aside from the golf cart, her taste wasn’t that bad.

  “As far as I know,” Jules said. “It’s never come up for me personally.”

  “You’ve never wanted a memento of a friend who ascended?” I asked.

  Jules grunted. “You think I have the kind of friends who’d ascend?” She turned her thickly lined eyes to me. “You think I have friends?”

  Who knew I’d have so much in common with a scary vampire?

  I lifted the sax from its stand. “How many hours of practice has this thing probably seen?” I mused. I remembered an article that stated that you needed to spend ten thousand hours minimum on a skill before you could be an expert. Akwan had been in Divine Place long enough to be an expert ten times over.

  “Please don’t play that thing,” Jules said. “I have an ear for music and, if you start making loud, shrill sounds, you’ll trigger my vampire instincts.”

  “Because a vampire hates when music is off key?”

  “Because a vampire responds to loud, shrill sounds that reminds them of terrified prey.” She gave me a pointed look. “Don’t be prey.”

  I tried to swallow but my mouth was too dry. “I still think I should bring this to the lab, along with any other valuables. If villagers are starting to behave in an unprecedented manner, then we should take precautions.”

  “In that case, we should start carrying weapons in case someone tries to obliterate us.” Her lips stretched into a smile. “I like that idea. I can wear the hell out of a crossbow.”

  The thought of the already-dangerous vampire roaming around Divine Place with a cache of weapons was disturbing.

  “I think you can probably defend yourself without weapons,” I said.

  “I bet Zeus thought so too,” Jules countered. “And Akwan. He was a jinni, for crying out loud. He had magic.”

  “Right. Which means that he knew his murderer and didn’t feel threatened by them, or it was a sneak attack and he had no idea it was happening.”

  “That fits with your two suspects and their confessions,” Jules said.

  “I guess so.” I carried the saxophone to the console table in the foyer and set it with the other items.

  “You seem to be making this investigation harder than it needs to be,” Jules said. “You have confessions. Just pick one and roll with it. Case closed.”

  “I’d love to choose the easy road, believe me. There’s a spa appointment in the future with my name on it. But what if I’m wrong and condemn someone to
a worse place?” It wasn’t the same as giving a lost driver the wrong directions on purpose. The consequences were far worse than sending someone to New Jersey. I assumed.

  “Are you sure you’re not dragging your feet for some other reason?” Jules asked.

  I looked at her blankly. “What other reason could there be? It’s not like I get to go home once I finish the job. I’m stuck here the same as the rest of you losers.”

  “Cole,” she said simply. “The longer the case goes, the more time you spend together.”

  I laughed. “Do you see me with him now? No. He wants to be part of the investigation, but I…” I stopped short, not wanting to share what happened with Jules. It was too messy, especially considering her own mysterious history with him.

  “I get it. You’re a lone wolf.” She clapped me on the back. “It’s why I knew we’d get along. You’re strong. You don’t need to rely on anybody for anything.”

  “No,” I said quietly. “I never have.” Not because I didn’t want to, but because I learned from a young age that I couldn’t.

  We completed our search of the bungalow without finding anything else of interest. Akwan didn’t have nearly the number of embarrassing items that I’d expected for a jinni in a band. It was somewhat of a disappointment.

  “I’ll bring this stuff back to the lab.” I motioned to the box where I’d carefully placed his belongings.

  “I can carry it there for you if you want to drop the frame off with Seth while you’re still in Zone 2.”

  “Just take the sax. I’ll handle the rest.” I certainly didn’t object to dropping by Burger Bar again. I might even get takeout to eat in the comfort of my sweatpants at home. I was looking forward to hanging out with Mischief on the sofa tonight until I fell asleep with drops of melted ice cream on my chest. Just like old times.

  “Drop me off at the wharf and I’ll take the ferry across,” Jules said. “That way, you can drive the golf cart home.”

  “You really don’t want to be seen in my golf cart, do you?”

  “If I could make us invisible in it, I would,” she said.

  Fair enough.

  Chapter Eight

  Burger Bar was reasonably busy when I arrived. I had no desire to wait, so I used my signature move to bypass the hostess. I pretended to see my party at a table toward the back of the restaurant and started walking. As someone frequently in need of a bathroom, I had an assortment of maneuvers to gain access to restrooms where I wasn’t a customer.

  A young elf intercepted me before I could open the door for employees only. “Can I help you, miss?”

  “I’m looking for Seth. I brought him something from his friend Akwan’s house.”

  “Oh, wow. Such a shock, right? I’m never stepping foot in another hot tub. Those things are lethal.” She turned and pointed at the door. “He’s in his office. Straight back and to the left.”

  “Thanks.” I pushed open the door and passed the kitchen before locating the office. Seth sat at a desk with his head in his hands. Ugh. I hated interrupting a personal moment. I’d once walked in on my boss watching porn in his office and I had to tiptoe backward out the door before he noticed me. To this day, his preference still surprised me. I never would’ve pegged him as a missionary fan. I would’ve thought for sure he was into more kink. To be honest, I left the room thinking less of him.

  Seth’s head jerked up when he heard me enter. “Oh, it’s you.” He seemed surprised to see me.

  I gave an awkward wave. “I guess your repeat customers don’t tend to repeat so quickly.”

  He rubbed his temple. “Apologies for looking out of sorts. I’m sure you’ve heard about Akwan.”

  “I have.” I lowered myself into the available chair. “Actually, that’s why I’m here.”

  Seth frowned. “It is?”

  “I found this in his house and thought you might like to have it.” I produced the framed photograph I’d found in Akwan’s chest and set it on the desk.

  He picked it up to examine it. A faint smile touched his lips as he ran a thoughtful finger over the glass. “Such a wonderful life. This seems like ages ago.”

  Probably because it was. “Who’s the other guy in the photo?”

  Tears welled in his eyes. “Another friend of ours, Kajeem.”

  “I take it he’s not in Divine Place.”

  Seth’s brow lifted. “Kajeem? No, thank the gods. He went where he belonged, I suppose. He was a better supernatural than Akwan and I ever were.”

  I wondered whether the people on earth whom I believed were good would go to the heavenly realms. It was hard to know someone so intimately that you could be certain about their destination. Everyone had their skeletons, it seemed.

  “Where did you find this? I’ve been in his house countless times but don’t recall seeing it.”

  “In a chest in his bedroom.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate it.” He paused for a beat. “What were you doing going through his personal belongings?”

  “Marshal, remember?” I pointed to my badge.

  “Yes, but he died at the party where others have confessed to tampering with his drinks.”

  I balked. “You heard about that already? Man, I was the only one authorized to blab.”

  “This is Divine Place. Word travels faster than Apollo’s chariot.”

  “I’m guessing that’s pretty fast. I have no frame of reference.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. “What kind of afterlife are we living in when the way to handle a simple issue with your unsuspecting boyfriend is to feed him a potion instead of addressing your concerns directly?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I once held my breath until I passed out at a party to avoid a conversation with my then-boyfriend about his garlic breath.” It was nauseating, but James was so hot that I didn’t want to say anything remotely critical. It totally backfired because while I was unconscious, he met his next girlfriend. Her nostrils were the size of pinheads, so it probably worked out.

  Seth managed a smile. “I admire your fortitude. Tell me, what good is searching his house if you know all this about the potion?”

  “Just being thorough,” I said. If he hadn’t heard about Moses, I thought it best to keep that one to myself. If Moses was innocent, I didn’t want him to be tainted by suspicion.

  “I will admit that I wasn’t too sure about Linzy,” Seth said.

  Alarm bells pinged. It was often a red flag when a guy’s friends disliked his girlfriend. “What do you mean?” I wagged a finger at him. “Oh, I bet I know. Was she one of those girlfriends who always insisted on being part of the gang? Like you guys would plan a bros swim at Necrotic Aquatics and Linzy would try to make a couples outing, but then it was awkward for you because you didn’t have a girlfriend?”

  Seth’s brow furrowed. “No, not at all. She was very respectful of his time.”

  “Oh. Then what?”

  He rubbed his temple. “It’s hard to get past her…past.”

  Uh oh. “What past?”

  Seth pressed his lips together, appearing to debate whether to share. “Akwan swore me to secrecy. He didn’t want word to get out and villagers to get the wrong idea about her.”

  “Akwan is gone, Seth, so if you know something that could help solve the case, I need to hear it.”

  “But she’s confessed, hasn’t she?” he argued. “Is it necessary for me to break my oath to Akwan?”

  “It’s not that simple,” I said, thinking of Moses. “I need more because a sleeping potion isn’t the only consideration.”

  Seth’s brow lifted. “There was another potion?”

  “Not a potion, but someone else has confessed to harming Akwan that night.”

  He smacked his hands on the desk in shock. “Two have confessed?”

  “I know. Crazy, right? That’s why any dirt you have on Linzy could prove helpful. This is all confidential, so you won’t repeat what I said and I won’t repeat what you said except t
o my consultants and my cat.” I told Mischief everything and that wasn’t about to change now.

  Seth stared at me in silence for a moment. His gaze drifted down to the photograph and returned to me. “Linzy practiced black magic during her lifetime.”

  “That’s it?”

  Seth seemed affronted. “Isn’t that enough? Black magic harnesses the powers of darkness.”

  “Okay, but she ended up here, so it couldn’t have been that bad. She wasn’t sacrificing babies or anything.”

  “I don’t know the particulars,” he said.

  “You’re a jinni. Does the idea of black magic really freak you out?”

  Seth leveled me with a look. “Our magic is nothing like the magic of a witch.”

  I held up my hands. “Sorry. Human here. Still learning.”

  “It is strange to be having this conversation with a human. In my experience, humans cannot handle what’s beyond the veil. Your minds are weak.”

  “Consider this mind completely blown,” I said, pointing at my head. “Apparently Chipping Cheddar was a hotbed of supernatural activity, but I had no clue. Hera blames me for the shakeup here. She thinks my presence is upsetting the natural order here and that’s why supernaturals are behaving this way.”

  “And what do you think?” Seth asked.

  I considered the question. “I think it’s possible that there’s been a glitch, but you can’t blame me for someone else’s heinous act. If I don’t figure out who it is, they won’t face judgment.” And that was a lot more responsibility than I was used to.

  He scrutinized me. “What do you mean? Supernaturals have been ascending and descending for eternity. How does your presence change that?”

  “Hera thinks that if I don’t solve the case, then the Powers-That-Be won’t intervene. That they’ll only punish the wrong-doer if we correctly identify them. It’s a way of making us accountable for what happens to each other, keeps us connected.”