Adverse Effects

by Alicia Nordwell

  “Did you sleep well?” Fieo asked him.

  Nicklaus tilted his head sideways as he looked at Fieo. “Yes.” His answer sounded more like a question. Fieo took a deep breath but didn’t ask anything else.

  The door chime went off, and Fieo got up. He stalked across the room, the muscles in his legs flexing with each step, but his back was rigid. Yaseke watched him for a few seconds, then looked at Nicklaus. His face was buried against his knees, his shoulders shaking.

  Dade clasped his hand, rubbing their thumbs together. He had to find some time to speak with Nicklaus. Clearly his happy exterior was hiding a lot of stress. Yaseke’s attention was pulled from Nicklaus as servers came in with their meal.

  “Thank you,” Dade whispered.

  Yaseke cocked his head, not sure what he meant.

  “For being my tziu. For being you.”

  A warmth spread through Yaseke, and his heart beat faster as he snuggled into Dade’s arms. This meeting needed to start so they could go back to the bedroom and be alone.

  Sooner rather than later.

  Seral led Ryker into the suite just as the servers from the kitchens were leaving. “Good timing.”

  Ryker headed over to the food. “I’m starving.” He cast an apologetic look over his shoulder at everyone. “Sorry, but Larede put me on a new treatment for the nanos, and I’m hungry all the time.”

  Seral ran his hand down Ryker’s back. Ryker was dressed in a white pair of shorts, but that was it. He wasn’t as covered as Nicklaus and Dade, but he’d also been on Caeorleia longer and was more used to the local customs.

  “Go ahead,” Nicklaus said. Fieo hovered near him while they both got food but ensured a careful distance stayed between them all the time. Dade pulled Yaseke up by their linked hands and towed him over to the table.

  Seral’s gaze zeroed in on their hands, but he didn’t say anything, though, until they all sat down with plates in their hands.

  “Something you wanted to talk to us about, like you two joined in besedad?” He balanced his plate on his knee.

  Yaseke choked on the esuba cream he’d inhaled by accident. Dade pounded on his back with jarring thuds. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” he hummed when he could stop coughing. Ryker elbowed Seral.

  Dade handed him a napkin, and Yaseke wiped his mouth. He couldn’t believe Seral had just blurted that out. He’d never stood much on ceremony, but he’d never been quite so blunt.

  “Don’t be such an ass,” Ryker hissed. “You couldn’t let everyone finish eating?”

  “You know we’re all sitting here wondering. Why not just get it out of the way?” Seral shrugged. He watched Dade, who was steadily making his way through the finger food on his plate. “See, Dade isn’t bothered by my question.”

  “Not unless you make my tziu choke again,” Dade answered.

  Everyone stared at him, then at Yaseke, who squirmed in his seat and looked down. He could feel his heart thudding in his chest. Dade stroked his arm.

  “Did this happen after you were attacked?”

  Dade nodded. “Yes.” He took another bite of the falgru meat. “The mud on Yaseke’s chest hid the mark in his heart space yesterday. We thought it best to keep our joining between us, seeing how at least one of the asheksi was trying to attack one or both of us.”

  Fieo leaned back in his seat. “Congratulations.” His voice was quiet. Nicklaus’ shoulders slumped.

  “Yes, congratulations,” he said softly.

  “Did you…?” Ryker’s question hung unfinished as he looked at Yaseke. His mouth was pinched, and he put his plate down on the table centered in the middle of the grouped seating.

  “Tell me that he’s a shrink and you guys wanted him to secretly test me to see if I’m going to go nutso on everyone?” Dade’s voice was very bland, but the look he shot Seral and Ryker was piercing.

  Ryker’s mouth dropped open. “Uh—”

  “Yes, he did.”

  Seral took a bite out of a piece of red fruit, chewed deliberately, then swallowed. “Did he also tell you he’s related to Buphet?”

  “Of course I did!” Yaseke couldn’t believe they would think he’d keep something like that to himself. What kind of a male did they think he was?

  “Yaseke hasn’t kept anything from me at all.” Dade set down his empty plate and took a drink of his water. “I told him my secrets as well. If you guys are done with the inquisition, our joining in besedad is only part of why we wanted to sit down and talk to you. There’s a lot you don’t know, and if I am going to keep my tziu safe, I’m going to have to share it with you.”

  Yaseke’s breath caught in his chest. “Dade.” For him, Dade would tell about his empathy. He’d risk his ability being misunderstood and misused against him, as it had been in the past by the human military, just to keep Yaseke safe. “Are you sure?” he asked in a thick voice, his hum muted.

  Dade gave him a tender smile, his full lips curving up at the edges slightly. “It’ll be okay.”

  “What can you possibly mean by that?” Seral asked. His eyes narrowed as he stared at Dade, who returned his look calmly. “What don’t I know?”

  Ryker put a hand on Seral’s tense arm, massaging the rigid muscles.

  “Before I was on the ship, before those….” He paused, clearly looking for the right word.

  “Nelhos.” Fieo supplied him with a definition. “It means ‘scum of the earth,’ essentially.”

  “Thanks.” Dade nodded at him. “Before those nelhos injected me with whatever serum they’d made from Seral’s blood, I’d been volunteered by my superiors for a very special project. I was given no real choice; it was either volunteer or be discharged. Why I volunteered again, after what I was put through”—Dade grimaced—“I’ve never been able to answer that. Maybe I’m just that fucking stupid, I don’t know.

  “Those doctors injected a clear fluid directly into my spinal column at the base of my skull through some small holes they bored through my skull. It felt like lines of fire eating into my head. I was rolled over, my eyes were pinned open, and two more injections were inserted right through my pupils. Then they sat me upright, inserted these probes into my brain, and shocked me.”

  Yaseke shuddered as much at the dead tone in Dade’s voice as he did at the image of what Dade had gone through that flashed through his mind.

  “Nothing I’d endured before, not a single battle wound or even my time as a captive of war, had prepared me for the agony I experienced during that experiment. Worse, I felt my mind changing. They brought in a prisoner, a man Central decided deserved to die. They told me to use the new things I could feel inside me to reach out to him through our locked gazes. They’d pinned his eyes open, and he would have been screaming in fear if he hadn’t been gagged.”

  Unable to take it any longer, Yaseke took both their plates and put them on the table. He slid against Dade’s side. He squeezed Dade and hid his face against his chest.

  “What were you supposed to do?” Nicklaus asked in a shaky voice. “What were they testing you for?” Of course, Yaseke knew Nicklaus had been through his own hell from those nelhos doctors.

  “I was supposed to be the first in the next wave in their super soldiers. Instead of souped-up bodies, they wanted to soup up our minds. If their experiment had succeeded, I would’ve been able to hear his thoughts and manipulate his emotions through a direct gaze or physical contact. I could have made him feel enough bliss to send him off to orgasm in seconds, or sent him twisting in fear to hide in a dark corner like a coward.”

  Seral’s breathing was harsh. “Did it work?” Yaseke noticed he wasn’t looking at Dade’s face. His jaw was clenched.

  “No.”

  Seral relaxed, but Dade was still rigid. He looked lost in the memory, staring at a spot on the wall. “When I couldn’t do it, the doctor backhanded me. Rage filled me. When he ordered guards to get rid of me, and I was informed I was being discharged, I felt one soldier’s sick satisfaction even as his partner’s h
and on my arm dragging me outside the lab filled me with a tinge of lust and regret.”

  Ryker leaned forward. “Filled you?”

  “Yes.” Dade shrugged one shoulder. “The experiment failed, but I wasn’t unchanged. Ever since that happened, anyone touching me means I feel what they do. It’s like whatever they’re feeling is my own emotion. It swamps me. That’s why I avoid touching anyone and don’t let anyone touch me.”

  “That’s impossible!” Seral declared.

  Ryker elbowed him sharply in the ribs, making Seral grunt. “Hello, humans changed by your DNA into something not quite Caeorleian but no longer human, understanding your humming as speech and communicating with you….” He arched one eyebrow at his isit. “You want to throw that word about again?”

  Yaseke watched Seral squirm, a sight he’d never thought to see from the assured male.

  “No.” Seral pursed his mouth. “But, if you feel things from everyone, how come Yaseke’s curled up against you? How’d you join if it’s that bad to be touched?”

  “It’s probably not all bad; not all emotions have to be painful ones, after all.” Fieo grinned.

  Dade couldn’t seem to stop from smiling back at him. Soldier types! Yaseke’s face tingled as embarrassment flooded him.

  “He can’t feel me.”

  “Really? How strange.” Ryker looked intent as he considered the information Dade had shared. His head tilted to one side, and he tapped his fingers on his thigh. “Has that ever happened before?”

  “Has what ever happened before?” Dade asked.

  “Not feeling someone. Do you have any idea why you react that way to Yaseke?”

  Shrugging one shoulder, Dade shook his head. “No idea. I’ve always felt it. Ever since I woke up after I passed out with the needles still lodged in my eyes. It can be debilitating. I can’t separate the emotions from my own. The first time I managed to use it in a useful capacity was last night when I asked Larede if he was in on the plot against us and to find out if he’d keep our secret about joining.”

  Nicklaus’ eyes were shiny. “That’s why you weren’t in as bad of shape as Ryker and me, isn’t it? They didn’t have to actually get their hands dirty hurting you; they could do it with the touch of one finger.”

  Dade shuddered. “Every sick, sadistic fuck on that ship deserved whatever Seral did to them. There wasn’t a speck of decency in any of them. I can attest to that.”

  “Larede. That’s exactly why you told us this, isn’t it?” Seral said with frightening accuracy. Yaseke knew what Dade had been angling toward. His isit had told him he wanted to question anyone connected to Buphet. “Do you think we will allow that sort of mental rape on our people?” Seral asked angrily. He stood up and paced a small line back and forth along the edge of the bright red rug.

  “It’s not like that,” Dade said calmly. Yaseke was impressed. Even after only a few days, he knew Dade was not the calmest of men. “I can’t get into their minds. They can’t feel me. I don’t read thoughts. I don’t pull things from them that aren’t there. I simply feel what they feel, as it is happening. They can’t hide guilt, or anger, or fear. I’ll know when it hits, if not exactly why. Working together, we can find out if there is anyone left here who plotted with Buphet to capture Yaseke.” He bared his fangs. “I want my tziu safe.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Ryker stood up, stopping Seral’s pacing. “He could help you,” he said softly. They moved across the room and spoke quietly, the hum of their voices indistinct. Ryker had his hand on his isit’s arm as they spoke, but Seral kept shaking his head. Finally, Ryker pulled his hand away, and his back went rigid.

  I watched and waited with the others. I’d stated my objective; now I had to wait. Keeping Yaseke safe was my number one goal in life now. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to find out who’d helped Buphet. Even if that meant using the freakish effects from the experiments the doctors had done on me. There was no way he’d acted alone. Besides, I’d felt worse than guilt and hatred.

  “You don’t get to decide that for us!” Ryker’s voice rang out in the quiet room. His hands were clenched in fists at his sides, and he was glaring at Seral. “We’re not children. Living on that ship was traumatic, but we’re not broken and you know it. Dade just wants to protect Yaseke, like you would want to protect me. He knows what he can and cannot handle, and you will not use these attacks to lock the three of us up in our rooms.”

  Seral reached for Ryker, but he stepped back. “That’s not—”

  “That’s exactly what you’re thinking! Again. When are you going to learn you cannot keep us safe behind a locked door? We just end up trapped!”

  Ryker was right. I spoke up. “I won’t sit by and let these people walk around plotting to hurt us. We cannot just wait to see what they will do next. I’ve no idea why Buphet was attacking Yaseke, but he’s already tried to force Nicklaus and me to join with strangers. He’s been plotting something, and somehow it’s all connected. We have to figure out who is helping him—and fast.”

  “Dade is right, Seral,” Fieo said. “I believe he would be an asset during the questioning.”

  Seral threw his hands over his head and hummed angrily. “Fine. Everyone but me seems to think this is a good idea. But do any of you have a clue on how to do it?” He stomped over to his seat, shooting a look at everyone in the room as he gestured toward me. “We can’t just make everyone hold hands with him while we question them. How do we let him touch everyone while we question them without giving away his secret?” He sat down, raising an eyebrow as he looked at me. “I’m assuming you would prefer we didn’t broadcast your”—he paused—“ability.”

  I shook my head. “No, I don’t want everyone knowing.”

  “I will have to tell my father,” Seral said, “though I’m sure he’ll be discreet.”

  Nodding, I leaned back on the couch now I was sure Seral wasn’t going to deny me the chance to be there when they questioned everyone. Yaseke snuggled closer. I rubbed his neck and shoulder, pushing my fingers in the robe to touch his skin. There was so much to consider, and I hadn’t been in on many interrogations that didn’t happen in the field.

  “How do you plan to proceed?” Fieo asked.

  “Tziu? Please come sit down. I’m discussing this.” Ryker came back over and sat down next to Seral. He let his isit take his hand, though he wasn’t smiling. I didn’t envy Seral once they got back to their own suite.

  “I’ve had the guards rounding up all of Buphet’s household and staff. His business associates have been summoned. None will dare ignore com messages from the head of the guard; if they do, we can assume they are rogue like Buphet. Their assets will be seized and their properties searched.”

  “When you question everyone, do you have a certain room? A cell?” I asked.

  Seral nodded.

  “Are they bound? How do you have them positioned?”

  Fieo answered. “We don’t bind people unless they have committed a crime in front of witnesses. I know it is hard to remember, but most Caeorleians are not bad people. It’ll be easier once the war is declared over. During an investigation, we usually have citizens stand before a table. The asheksi chamber is very similar in design, though the room we use is smaller, of course.” He sighed. “We haven’t had any use for it in a long time.”

  The interrogation rooms I’d seen weren’t anything like that. The accused had always been strapped down, and the men questioning them had…. I pushed those thoughts away. The Caeorleian government wasn’t the Central Council.

  It would’ve been more convenient, though, even if it was wrong. “How about bringing in a chair for them? If I can touch any part of their body, even just nudging their foot or arm during key questions, I will be able to sense their emotions. I could sit at the edge of the table.”

  “You don’t need to use your hands?” Nicklaus asked. “Or their hands?”

  I shook my head. “Skin contact, of any kind, transmits exactly what the ot
her person is feeling.”

  “That’s horrible. You must have felt so closed off, unable to touch anyone at all.” The small man shivered, though the room was warm. I eyed the careful distance Nicklaus always kept around himself. I had the feeling he spoke from experience, even if he didn’t have my abilities.

  “Yes,” I said simply.

  “He has me now,” Yaseke murmured.

  I rubbed small circles on his arm.

  “Yes, I do. And I want to keep you, so we need to figure out a way to make this work.”

  Seral sighed. “A chair would be possible. It’s not a large departure from the normal procedure. We will likely get many asking why you are in the room, though.”

  “I’ll need to be there. Why wouldn’t Dade be with me? How can they question that?”

  Fieo had gotten up and was coming back into the room with a sheet, which he pooled into Nicklaus’ lap without ever touching him. He gestured toward the robe covering Yaseke. “No one knows you’re joined, remember?”

  “Oh.” Yaseke’s marks darkened, which I was coming to realize was like him blushing.

  “If it will help us, then I don’t mind everyone knowing,” I said. Far from it. I found I wanted everyone to know. I wanted my mark shown off, so everyone could see the dark spirals filling Yaseke’s heart space that proclaimed him mine. It surprised me a little how much I wanted that, in fact.

  “It might increase the attacks, if getting close to you was the reason Buphet went after Yaseke.”

  I looked at Ryker. “It might,” I answered him. “But the benefits outweigh the risks.” A grin crept across Ryker’s face. “What?”

  Yaseke laughed. “I think you really want me to show off my mark.”

  Without realizing it, I’d been tugging on his robe, pushing it off his shoulder as I touched his cool skin. The edge of his heart space was showing, letting the upper curve of the outside ring of my mark show.

  “Oh.” My face heated in embarrassment.

  Ryker and Nicklaus laughed. Seral and Fieo closed their eyes and shivered.