My Monster

by Ellie Jean

  Emerald rests her hand on my thigh. “That’s something you two will have to work out. For Slate and I, he tells me a lot. But that’s cause I manipulate him in to revealing the dark things that are going on. I won’t stand by and let him dictate to me, but that’s me.” She laughs and raises her eyebrows. “These men need strong, tenacious women to stand beside them. There’s no behind or in front with these dominant jerks. You are strong, and the most obstinate person I know. Make no mistake you complement Tanner. But whatever you choose, you have to know you can live the rest of your life with the choice you’ve made.”

  My heart sinks cause I know this. She’s telling me nothing I don’t know.

  “Working out this life and relationship crap is hard. Brain-straining and an emotional rollercoaster. I wish there was an instant fix like the concealer I use on my zits or when your orange jeans you tried to wear suddenly got a huge tear in the crotch area.”

  Emerald pushes my arm, offended. “I knew you had something to do with those comfortable jeans coming to their end earlier than they should have.”

  “My actions were justified, and I would do it again for the good of fashion.” I laugh and the mood eases between us. “No matter what I decide, you won’t be getting rid of my ass anytime soon.”

  “I’d drag it back by whatever hundred dollar outfit you had yourself clothed in. Motherfucker, this chocolate cake recipe is the bomb. I may have to suggest some exploration of food tonight. This rubbed over Slate’s inked chest, no fuck it, his cock would be pure ecstasy for both of us. Me in particular though.”

  “Stop talking about his cock.” I roll my eyes. “I don’t need that vision, but I can vision it on Tanner’s dick. Freaking fudge cakes, I’ll be heavy breathing down the phone line tonight.”

  We both explode in laughter and it’s good to laugh with my friend although underneath it all we are both walking on eggshells.

  “Know that Tanner is in an ominous place since the shooting and the fight. He’s taking it hard and extremely personal that Ocean got shot. I don’t think he’s talked to anyone about you being there either. It hit him hard, girl. He blames himself for his mother’s death and Slate says the fact that he couldn’t save her from his own dad’s cheating has altered his mind into thinking he has to insulate everyone from evil that lurks.”

  Nodding my head, my mouth gapes.

  “He wanted to kill my brother when he saw the video of Kyle helping you. Shattered and tortured when the guy was touching you. Tanner was helpless flooding him with turbulence and anger. This time he can do something and that is what he is out there doing, Crystal. Ridding the world of an evil bitch who needs to be stopped before another one of his loved ones is hurt so badly, there isn’t any coming back from it.

  I stare down at my toes encased in navy four-inch heels, Jimmy Choo no less. A thickness forms in my throat. Heels would brighten any shit day but looking at these I can’t bring myself to smile. Truth can be a bloody nightmare.

  Tears start to trickle, and my nose runs.

  Torn and tattered like a pair of distressed ripped jeans that can’t seem to stay in or out of fashion, I sniffle.

  “Here.” Emerald hands me a napkin. “This world isn’t for everyone. And no one’s going to think any less of you if it isn’t for you. Do what makes you happy, Crystal. That’s all you can do.”

  Christ, is it that simple?

  I can’t stop thinking about him. I know I won’t be able to pull myself away from him for much longer. Each day the struggle gets harder. I’d be lying to myself if I thought he didn’t bring me happiness.

  Tanner makes me the happiest girl in the world, especially in his apartment. But once we leave it? I don’t know.

  “I already think less of me.”

  One hundred and twenty-three hours had passed without laying my eyes on the most irresistible woman. Being sated by her breaths, knowing she was willing to answer my calls gave me a slice of hope. Hope that one day we could see each other without tension.

  I tried sleeping when I could without calling her, but my dependency was irrefutable. Deprived of sleep due to the long hours of searching houses, units, the streets, and known associates; her being on the other end of the phone gave me peace. Days filled with punishments, slaughtering, squashing and demoralizing ending with Crystal made all my efforts worthwhile.

  I couldn’t go back to the apartment, choosing to stay in the office at Obsidian. My body wasn’t enjoying the lack of a proper king size bed and being folded up to fit on a double sofa bed. At least the shower was top class, the hot water helping the kinks in my back, arms, and legs. The central location of it allowed me to work at night and during the day, capturing sleep when I could or in the early hours of the morning. The high-quality technology and the weapons we held here were always on hand. After daily doses of rampaging, Liza’s followers would be held in the soundproof cell below while they thought long and hard about where I may find their illustrious leader.

  I was close to breaking a male recruit. Being chained, gagged, and sliced was the tip of the iceberg, but he would meet the rest of my repertoire all in good time.

  The phone on the desk lights up red. Who the fuck knows I’m here?

  “Mr. Grayson,” the manager’s gruff voice rumbles down the phone. “There is a woman to see you. She says it’s urgent. Can I bring her to you? She’s very insistent she sees you now. And sir, I have asked her numerous times to leave, but she refuses, and she is causing trouble down here with the patrons coming in.”

  “Bring her up to the interview office. I will be there in five minutes.”

  Striking my chest, my major artery knocks on my ribcage. My legs start to move on their own accord through the corridor to the elevators and down two levels. Could it possibly be Crystal?

  Throwing back two fingers of scotch, I need liquid courage for her words. And to stop myself from attacking her luscious body or giving in to my resolve of her staying away from this craziness. Sitting back on the roller chair, I sip slowly, fucking daydreaming about blonde hair, shapely legs with shiny red heels attached to them.

  The door opens and closes rapidly. “Tanner…darling.” There’s a click of a lock with the irritating, gushy voice.

  The spring-loaded chair almost flings me out. “What the fuck are you doing here, Elektra?”

  “You don’t return my calls, your little flavor of the month probably didn’t pass on my message and I was sick of waiting to talk to you.”

  Shrugging my shoulders, I sit back down in my seat and size up the enemy. “There’s a reason I didn’t return your calls.” My hand grasps the glass tightly, wishing it was her neck and I could snap it in two. “I didn’t want to hear your ear-piercing voice or hear what you have to say.” My lips sit on the edge of the glass and I swallow a mouthful of the liquor. I give her credit; she doesn’t flinch or look perturbed by my words. “So you can leave. And shut the door on the way out.”

  Crossing the room, sitting on the corner of the desk, her short black dress rides up her leg, exposing her panties. Well, this is interesting. She is due to marry Dad in a few weeks, yet here she is flaunting her pussy at me. Elektra had tried this numerous times, but my cock wasn’t going anywhere near her. But this time it could be useful.

  “Now, don’t be all huffy and puffy with me. Your dad wants you at the wedding and I said I would try to get you there.” Running her fluorescent orange nails over her dress, picking up imaginary lint, she looks at me with some sort of look that’s supposed to be…seductive? She’s failing.

  “You can tell dear ole dad, that I am busy. And even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t come.”

  She moves her ass fully on the wooden desk and her hands drag the hem of her skirt up farther. She flips her straightened fake blonde hair over her shoulder and raises her eyebrows. “Isn’t there something I could give you to entice you to come?” She sniggers and my jaw clenches. “To come to the wedding, of course.”

  What a fucking fantastic wedd
ing present this would be for daddy dearest. What a stroke of luck, opting for this interview room, everything is taped. Stretching my arms, I rise out of the seat and look at her cloth covered pussy that is on show. A pussy once upon a time could lure me in without any thought, but now, I look at it with disgust. Only one pussy will ever bring me to my knees, and this isn’t it.

  My hands land on her inner thighs, my stomach revolts but I play it cool. “What are you offering, so that I am clear.”

  “I’ve heard you’re a fucking tyrant in the bedroom. Your dad is good, don’t get me wrong but I bet you fuck harder and longer than him. He’s fucking in his sixties, I want to feel a younger man, who can do me all night long. I want your cock, inside me.” She licks her lips and this time I look away, pretending to think about what she’s saying, or the vomit that is starting to rise will launch.

  Plastering a glare on my face, I start my performance. I nod and look interested in the whore’s body. My hands move up her thighs, taking down her panties. Her pussy is manicured to a small strip. Fake like the rest of her. Moving my hands, I reach up and unbutton her dress, her cleavage is big, silicone round, trapped in a black lace bra. It’s no doubt this was planned. Elektra’s breathing hitches as I swipe the dress off her shoulders, letting it fall behind her on the table.

  “Touch yourself, Elektra, show me how you get yourself off when my dad is too fucking tired for you. Show me how you want him to touch you so you feel twenty-nine and not old like him.”

  My calm, firm voice betrays the bile coating my throat. It’s not far from being spewed out. Her palms massage her tits and her eyes roll closed. Small moans escape her puckered lips.

  “Come on, Elektra, show me what you want me to do. Show me that vixen inside of you that’s been trapped.”

  “I need you to show me, Tanner.”

  “I will direct you, but for now, you need to take control. You need to show me how far you’re willing to listen to my commands, ‘cause once I start touching you, I expect you to follow every fucking word I say. Are we clear?”

  Nodding and gripping her own breasts, I keep talking but move back to the seat. I need this bitch out of here.

  “Your fingers need to pull your nipples. Roll them between your fingers. Pinch them hard, to the point you want to stop, but keep going.”

  Roaming over her lace bra, she tries it a few times but delves below the material and her heightened murmurs make me cringe.

  “Can you feel how wet your pussy is? Spread your knees apart. Let the cool air hit the warmth flowing from you.” My dick is limp like a noodle. Nothing about the scene in front of me is interesting. I’m actually happy she has her eyes shut so I look elsewhere.

  “Move one hand lower, Elektra. Explore your pleasure pit.” Fuck, I nearly start laughing. “Swirl it round and round.”

  “Holy crap, Tanner.” Still not looking, her hips move with her fingers. “When are you going to stick that huge cock in me?”

  “All in good time. There’s more we have to do first to get you ready.”

  “Shit. I’m not going to last much longer.”

  “You will last, my little slut. You will do as I say.” Fuck, I crack myself up. “I’m going to need you to insert your fingers, ride them and get that hole widened for me. I’m big. You need to be prepared.”

  Gasping air, she starts to pant rhythmically with her fingers delving in and out. I can’t take it anymore.

  Undoing my zipper, I make it sound loud. “Elektra, I have to go get a special toy from the other room, can I trust you not to come while I get it?” I walk toward the door and pause. She’s so close to her point of no return.

  “Elektra,” I snap and she casts her hazy eyes on me. “Slowly, ‘cause I want to watch you fall. But I need something. Can you do this? ‘Cause you don’t want to be on the receiving end of my punishment.”

  Widening her eyes, her finger moves gently over her folds. “Yes, but be fast.”

  Unlatching the door, I step out into the corridor and gulp in air. The stench in the room was unbearable. Running down the hall, I barge into a cubicle and throw up. Hurling until there’s nothing left inside me. My stomach’s tight and I inhale fresh air.

  Scrubbing my hands, I splash water on my face, and do up my zipper.

  My cock hasn’t been in a pussy since Crystal’s and being near this bitch, didn’t even tempt it to rise. She’s as fucking hideous as my father. They fit perfectly together, cheating on the ones they supposedly love. Not that I let it get that far, there’s no way I would entertain the prospect, but after some editing, it won’t look like that. There will be enough of a question placed in my dad’s mind to cast doubt between the newlywed couple.

  Risking the trust of your partner for a meaningless lay is unfathomable. Reliving the anguish of Mom reminds me of the repercussions. It’s a hard limit for me.

  Trusting someone is built slowly, but at the same time, can be broken in an instant.

  I now have a reason to be at the fucking wedding, where I will watch from the sidelines how easily trust can be shattered.

  The elevator takes me to the floor where I find security. “There’s a woman in interview room two. Can you escort her off the premises? Now.”

  “No problem.”

  The look on my father’s face when he sees this will be worth enduring the agony of hearing her pathetic cries and seeing her naked ass.

  This is for you, Mom.

  Revenge will be sweet.

  “He’s close to breaking,” I inform Slate how the day’s events are progressing. Drooping eyelids, and a body dripping with blood, he had reached his limits. Using him as a punching bag was fun for the first twenty minutes, I even let him free from his restraints. I’d seen women fight back better than this weak, pathetic excuse of a soldier. A sweat hadn’t even covered my skin. Chaining his hands was easy after I dragged his heaving body back to the wall. I wanted this over. He knew something, I had to find the right trigger so he’d spill. Dunking his head in water came next. Struggling for breath anyway, the lack of oxygen in the water saw him passing out a few times. I didn’t need him dead yet, just exhausted and on the verge.

  “If you want to come and help out, you know where we are.”

  “See you in fifteen.”

  Wiping the phone of traces of blood, Slate and Caden weren’t far away. We enjoyed this part of the process. Rage tore through me after I left Elektra, torturing someone for answers was a great stress reliever.

  “Damien, I’d say you have approximately ten minutes left before my friends and I really start the torture. Got anything to say?”

  Unclear at this stage if he can actually talk, he mumbles and shakes his head. Not one to give time to recuperate, but in this case, I can wait.

  Leaving the room, smelling of urine and blood, I won’t get a chance to sleep tonight if we can persuade this dickless piece of shit to talk. I send a text to Crystal.

  Me : Can’t make our normal time tonight. :( Sleep well, Hotcakes

  I’m a fucking moron. Using a frown face? What am I doing?

  I’d miss her small murmurs or acknowledgments that she could hear me. We haven’t spoken, at least she hasn’t for days.

  I couldn’t quite let her go.

  Calling her was stupid, but we’ve already established I’m a selfish monster who takes as much as I can. My subconscious was evil, wicked, and wanted Crystal. No matter what the cost was to her. Controlling the urge to walk into her mother’s house, demanding to take her curvaceous body back to my apartment fueled my ravages on the men who had betrayed our trust, siding with Liza. I’d managed to find over ten who had deserted their alliance with us. Fickle and no sense of brotherhood or trust bode these new kids. Quick, fucking easy drugs, weapons, whores or money was all it was about with them. Loyalty wasn’t a word they knew.

  Absorbed by my stupidity, I watch the screen light up with dots. My face cracks a small smile.

  Crystal: I will miss it. Maybe tomorrow?
<
br />   I miss you, Tiger.

  Walking around for days, busting people’s faces, depleting them of their disgusting lives, with the weight of a thousand bricks on my shoulders dragged me down. Her message in a matter of a second, shined some light into my darkness.

  Without a second thought, I dial her number.

  “Hello.”

  At that moment, the world could have burst into a nuclear fireball and I would have died a happy man. I have found love, even though I haven’t told her. But it was absolute. Some people in our world, especially in my fucked up one, don’t get the chance to experience it. I have and I am one lucky son-of-a-bitch to find it with this extraordinary woman.

  “Crystal?” My mouth freezes and I can’t get anything out. “How ar…are y…you?” My ears have blood pounding through them. Never stumped for words, I laugh inwardly at myself.

  “Tanner? Are you okay?” Christ, she’s worried because I can’t form a sentence. So fucking tough with my tats and ripped muscles of steel but a high-heeled, designer can leave me speechless. “Do you need help?”

  “Some would say yes, but hearing you makes everything at the moment fade into the background. Fuck.” What do I say? My feet are pacing forward and backward. My heart is beating so fucking fast, I should be stroking out.

  “Is this not a good time?” Her voice sounds worried.

  “What? Wait. No.” Gasping for air, I steady myself and breathe in a deep breath. “Yes, it’s perfect.”

  Sighing softly I catch a hitch of her breath. Could she be as nervous as me?

  “I’m sorry I cannot make our phone call tonight.” It was something so small, but it has been the key to me surviving the harsh few days.

  “Will you be safe?” Concern grips her voice.

  “As safe as I can be.” I can see her rolling her eyes. “How are your designs coming along? Finished?”