My Monster

by Ellie Jean

  “Did you feel that?” Breathless, he manages to complete a sentence.

  Spiraling still, I lay my hands on his thighs, grounding me a little. “The earthquake, the fireball, and the volcano?” I take another breath, trying to calm my quivering body. “Or my heart being cradled by you? Being protected by you and being loved by you?”

  Our eyes are often said to be the window to our soul. I’d looked in his eyes too many times to count. Lust, menace, death, fear, cruelty, passion. It all could be found in his irresistible pits of brown. So much swirled there at times. Tonight I witnessed love, but I didn’t need to see. It dominated me. In his tender touch, his no-nonsense words, his rapid breaths. The way he stroked my face, the smile he graced me with, how his cock filled me to perfection and my pussy accepted it like it should fucking stay there forever. My body zinged completely, sweat fell from my palms clutching his skin as the organ that pumped to keep me alive, pounded to be heard.

  I am entirely devoured by Tanner Grayson.

  Body, mind, and soul.

  Pulling me over, I lie on top of him, still joined. Our hearts bang together, talking to each other. “Are you shocked?” Uncertainty fleets across his face but then is replaced by a sincere look. He can carry this off nearly as well as his cocky grin. They both set my panties alight.

  “What? That you love me?” I rest my elbows on his shoulders. “What’s not to love? It was bound to happen.” I smirk, but inside I’m screaming and yahooing like a lunatic.

  “Tiger, I have lusted after you from day one. There’s no fucking doubt about that.” He kisses my nose and I move, dragging my mouth over his, kissing him deeply. Any opportunity to feel his plump lips on mine, I grab.

  “But, the big four-letter word. The one I thought I’d never say again after my mom died. The word that is more dangerous than anything in this chaotic world.”

  My eyes well up thinking about this hardened man, who thought he’d never find love. A finger brushes the wetness away.

  “Love…” Tightening his hand on my ass, he takes the back of my head in his other hand. “It may have taken me a hell of a long time to figure it out, but I love you, Crystal. Breathing without you beside me was near impossible, excruciating and something I wish to never experience again.” A darkness awakes in his eyes. “So, unfortunately for you, this means, I can’t let you go. I won’t let you leave me. You’re stuck with me.”

  This should scare the ever-living daylights out of me, but I smile. A goofy, ridiculous smile. And I am probably being a complete fool, forgetting the past few days where I sat around weighing out the pros and cons, not eating, not sleeping, obsessing about the wrongful things he did to survive in this world. But all of that slides away. With the truth coming from his lips, sincerity in his eyes, there is no doubt he means each word.

  “And let’s say, for instance, I don’t want to.” Christ, I’m going to pay for this, I already know it. “Would you kidnap me?”

  A grim face sets on my eyes. “Yes.”

  “It’s that simple? What about what I want?” Under my body, tightness ripples as he starts to get riled up.

  “Crystal, when it comes to you and me, it’s simple. As for what you want…” He shrugs his shoulders and grins.

  Bastard.

  “You’ll get some say, I guess. When to wash the clothes, what to cook for dinner, how you dress.”

  “Gosh, aren’t you the generous one. Allowing me to choose my own clothes. Such a gentleman.”

  “You know me well enough to know I’m anything but that.” He lifts my chin so my eyes look into his. “And you know me well enough to know that I haven’t been in love before. That amongst my flaws, I will always protect you, give you my complete trust and worship your body.” Drawing me closer, he whispers, “I love you.”

  My body stilled, except for the raging organ whacking me. Keeping us both alive. His brown messed up hair was all over the place, he had a small line at the corner of his mouth when he spoke that I often looked at, the pinkness of his lips caught any girl’s attention, his intense eyes scanning and assessing always, and scars littered across his hands like trophies. This was Tanner. The only one my heart flutters for. Out of anguish, pain, fear, lust, or love. There was no denying it. No matter what monstrous things he did, I would always want him.

  “I love your confidence, sass, and dedication.” Rough pads of his fingers float over my neck. “I love you in sweatpants, high heels, or gowns. With or without makeup.”

  “That might be so, but you’ll never see me in sweatpants.” I cringe under his hot hands thinking about it.

  “I love you, the smart mouth, the witty humor, your sexy ass is all added bonuses.” His forehead touches mine. “I need you.”

  Struck dumb, I have no words because it’s exactly how I’m feeling. But I didn’t want to say it now because he might think I was saying it because he had. I’d take him how he came. Our worlds are so far apart, but I couldn’t change it now, even if I wanted.

  “I enjoy fighting, I have killed and will kill again, I will piss you off and I give permission for you to strangle me when I do. I am a villain, a slayer, a monster.”

  Breath escapes in short bursts. My eyes roam his face while his fingers trace over my bare skin, electrifying it. This was what happiness was.

  Vulnerable, confusing but something you depended on completely.

  I will take what you give me, ‘cause I need you.

  Sometimes it’s so simple. But we try to make it difficult.

  Touching his cheek, I hold his gaze.

  “Now, you’re my monster.”

  A buzzing sound drags me from the most heavenly dream. Making love, something Tanner Grayson doesn’t do, over and over again. The kiss, the embrace, the warmth was right. I was meant to be doing this. With the woman I possessed and owned. The woman I loved.

  The sunshine against my lids, as I try to pry them open, makes me jerk them closed. A head of hair is snuggled in against my armpit, and an arm is draped over my ink, warming me. Sweet smelling raspberries tantalize my nose and I kiss the top of her head, my arm tightens around her waist as the annoying buzzing keeps going. We’d made love at least five times during the morning, but I lost count after that. Exhaustion had set in after not sleeping for days.

  Shit.

  Moving my body slowly, I lift her head up, rearranging the pillow underneath it. How long had I slept for? I had only meant to come in to ensure she was safe from the clutches of Liza. Which, I successfully did. A few times over. Slate and Caden would handle the bitch. They had no choice since I failed to return.

  Looking at the clock, it’s mid-afternoon. We’d slept the day away. Actually, we’d been in bed the entire day. Sleeping not always on the agenda. My phone alight and vibrating, I look to see my father is calling. Not who I want to talk to after confessing my love to the most magnificent girl, but I answer it.

  Revenge is still on my agenda.

  The monster will never leave me.

  “Yes.”

  “Wedding’s been moved. It’s on tonight.” The disdain in his voice is clear. “Elektra wanted you to know.”

  “If you hate the idea of me coming, why are you calling me?”

  “She’s too busy getting ready, so I said I’d call you. For some stupid reason, she wants to bring us together, like one happy family.”

  I laugh at the absurdity of it. He grunts, possibly agreeing with me.

  Is that after she fucks me or does she want a threesome in the future with husband and son?

  “What time?”

  “Eight p.m. Still at the house.”

  Hanging up, anger bubbles underneath. The grip on the phone is tight and my jaw clenches when I talk or think about this man. I should have let this festering rage go long ago, he’s not worth my energy, yet I don’t. Perhaps if they stayed on their private course away from me, it would have all quietened. But with Mom gone, and her working so hard at stopping them from destroying all she had before the
y destroyed all that she was while she was alive. It opened many wounds. Gaping holes that are irreversible.

  They don’t deserve any of it. Revenge would be sweet, but I’ve seriously been considering the idea of burning down the house. Should they get to live there, enjoy their days in the place Mom built for us? Is it fair? Nothings fair though in the adult world. The question I need to ask myself is, would Mom want them living there, surrounded by the gardens and house she made so majestic and unique? Can I live with it all gone? Every piece of Mom would be lost to ashes if I did it.

  I’m unsure if I want that. I need to be one hundred percent certain.

  I turn and take in the sight of pure beauty. She is something I am one hundred percent certain about.

  I wonder how she would feel about accompanying me as my date. Although it will be the date from hell, she can help me drag my ass through it. I should face facts; they belong with each other. Both deceitful liars, who wouldn’t know what love was even if it had been staring them in the face for twenty or more years.

  “Was that someone dying on the end of the phone or a call from the CEO of Gucci telling me they want me to design for them? If not, I’m going back to sleep. My body is not ready to get up, after all you did to it.”

  The blankets haven’t moved, Crystal’s eyes are still closed, but her voice is clipped.

  I silently laugh at this woman. At my woman. “Only my father telling me the wedding is now tonight. In five hours.”

  “That’s nice. Give me a kiss on your way out.” Still no movement. Standing, I blink and shake my head.

  “Did you want to be my date?” My eyebrows furrow when there’s no response. “I guess Ocean wouldn’t mind if I asked the florist who has been hand delivering his bouquets personally to come with me.”

  Flinging the covers back, revealing her naked body, she stands up like she’s been awake for hours. “You wouldn’t.”

  “Wouldn’t I? Someone has to be there in case Elektra decides to try and eat me alive.” I smirk as I roam my eyes from the top of her head over her globes and down her waistline to her manicured pussy. No, I wouldn’t. Risking this woman isn’t worth any of it, but playing with her is fun.

  “But you said you loved me.” Sauntering toward me, her ass sways seductively. Eyes shining bright, full of mischief, they’d make a room full of diamonds look dull. And she only woke up ten minutes ago.

  “I love you, Crystal. You never have to doubt that.” Clasping my hand around her waist, I dip my head at her. “But the paparazzi will be there, and my image won’t cope without a woman by my side.” I try to be sincere, but the edges of my mouth curl up.

  “Paparazzi?”

  “Lots, no doubt.”

  Grabbing my cock, which has been pointing directly at her belly button, she squeezes it. “A chance to tell the world you’re mine, I’ll be by your side. For now and—”

  I cut her off, “Until I die and not a fucking moment before. Letting you go isn’t an option, Crystal.”

  Raising her brows with a nod. “I’m glad we are on the same page.”

  Lifting her ass, I walk her back toward the bed and show her again what the rest of her years will be like.

  She gasps at my quickness. “Don’t we have a wedding to get ready for?”

  “Fuck the wedding, we have more important things to do.”

  Giggling, she laces her fingers around my neck and moves her pussy onto my cock. “Show me again how much you love me.”

  My favorite pastime.

  “So where the fuck is she?” Two hours after my father had called, I pulled my cock out of Crystal’s drenched pussy, vowing to return there in a few hours. I had a few loose ends to tie up, namely Liza, but Crystal refused to leave my side so she hoisted everything into two bags and we got on our way.

  “We decided to release her, under surveillance. This will be the quickest way.” Slate’s no-nonsense attitude comes across loud and clear over the speakerphone.

  Sweat beads on my brow, wondering what the fuck she could have that I could possibly want. Crystal is it for me.

  “Is it a trick, an elaborate game to fuck with us? Giving her time to execute one last move?” I swerve across lanes of traffic to beeping horns.

  “Could be. Once we knew Crystal was safe, we took her back to Obsidian to chat with her and she still maintained she has something for you and that to get it she had to be released. Man, we just want this bitch out of our hair. This was the fastest, easiest move. There are eyes on her, we wrapped a tracking device on her wrist and Caden’s on her now as well. If she moves, we know about it. We gave her twenty-four hours to bring it to us, or we kill her on sight. No more questions or games.”

  “Good.”

  Next to us, a person yells profanity out of the window. Crystal winds down her window and waves at them, showcasing her brilliant smile. “Have a nice day,” she purrs.

  I floor the Camaro and keep weaving across the lanes of traffic, ignoring all legalities and other drivers. Her hair blows in the wind around her face. Her cheeks still flushed from today and last night.

  “But T, watch your back. It’s almost like this was planned. The sly bitch may be blindsiding us, so eyes sharp until we meet with her tomorrow morning at Obsidian, eight a.m.”

  “Yeah, I’m certain she’s not finished fucking with us yet. But tonight I’m out anyway. Far removed from her games. Dad called and moved the wedding to tonight. For some reason, Elektra wants to play happy families and I need to show them something together.”

  “You need anything, call.”

  A hand grips my thigh and she squeezes it reassuringly.

  “Thanks. ‘Til tomorrow.” The stereo plays “The Calling” as Slate ends the call.

  “So you found her?” A slight wobble in her voice makes me look at her. I press my hand onto hers, twining my fingers in hers.

  “Last night. Before I came to you. She said she had something I wanted. I couldn’t take the chance, so we came directly to you.” A heavy breath leaves me. Relieved that she couldn’t have anything I could possibly want. It was a stalling tactic, but for what?

  “Will you tell me everything?” Her face scrunches up. There’s a battle going on inside her. Her knuckles are white on my hand, and her back is stiff.

  “If you ask me, I will answer any question truthfully.” My hand leaves her fingers and I wrap it around her neck, caressing the side of it with my thumb. “I won’t lie to you.”

  “Aren’t you worried if I know things, I’ll tell the wrong people?”

  “I trust you, Tiger. Not just with my secrets and my body, but with my life.” Crystal could reveal anything about us to anyone and I wouldn’t care. Because, she’d still be mine and there’s nothing she could do to make me want to leave her alone.

  “It’s a lot to keep to myself. And I’m not great at keeping secrets, especially when I’ve been drinking.” A worried look crosses her face.

  “It’s lucky I know how to silence people then,” I joke, and she slams a hand across my chest.

  “It’s not something to joke about.” Her jaw almost snaps. “I could get someone hurt ‘cause of my mouth.”

  “You could also get someone hurt by letting them touch what’s mine or by looking at them the wrong way. I’d be more concerned about that, Hotcakes.”

  A growl murmurs and I can tell she wants to fire back but is restraining.

  “You can talk to Emerald and Lace, because I’m sure they know everything, but if you have a specific question, come to me first.” I pull up in the underground parking and stop the engine. My fingers lift her chin so I can read her clearly. “I never want you to be scared of me. I will never hurt you. I will never let anyone or anything hurt you.”

  Her eyes soften. “I know that.”

  “You are my world. But I also live in a dangerous one.”

  Crystal is more deadly than anyone I have to deal with. She can deny my cock or bereft me of her touch. Crystal could leave, fuck we all kno
w I would do anything to stop that from happening, but I wouldn’t stop her if she wanted to. I would cease to exist.

  “One that could turn black at any moment. I want to share my all with you before it sets dark permanently. I am a selfish prick and I can’t apologize ‘cause I can’t change what I need.” My thumbs run over her jaw soothingly, head touching her forehead.

  “I don’t want you any other way. I’m not coming into this with blinders on. I see unquestionably who you are, Tanner. A god on legs. A wicked sex demon with extraordinary talents. A skilled fighter who is ruthless and vicious. Perfection with a capital ‘P.’ So much so, I find it difficult to imagine how you haven’t been a Calvin Klein model or on a Rolex watch advertisement. Their loss, in my opinion.”

  Shaking my head, I laugh out loud. My body shakes hard. This time her finger drags my chin back in line with hers.

  “What everyone else doesn’t see though is the thoughtful man who makes sure I have my garden salad in the fridge ready for work tomorrow before he climbs into bed for the night. A man who can search my soul like no one else. A friend who will protect at any cost his loved ones. Powerful, a leader and a challenge. Exactly what I crave from life.”

  Leaning in close, I am transfixed by the oceans swirling in her eyes.

  “The magical look in your eyes as you jerk into me, filling me with your seed undoes me. I will never tire of it. You are the one person who finds everything about me unique and I want to be that someone for you.” She pauses, and I kiss her gently before she pulls back. “I notice your lips when I kiss you, they soften and turn a slightly darker shade of pink, your laugh when you’re genuinely laughing, not faking it. The way you move your tongue piercing when you’re agitated, or when you rub your thumb rhythmically over my hand or jaw when I need to calm down. I see it all. I see you. I see firsthand how you shield me from your world where you can.” Her hand takes mine and places it over her chest. “I wouldn’t change a thing ‘cause I love you. Every piece of you.”