My Monster

by Ellie Jean

  He had us.

  And he had his mother. Who was proving to be as tenacious as her son.

  Nothing was going to stop her from living now. She’d considered putting her ex up on charges for conspiracy to commit murder. But Elektra had effectively disappeared. Well, didn’t return after Caden left with them both. And Tanner’s dad fled, so she didn’t go through with the charges. Filing for divorce and moving on with her life was her priority. Three weeks back, the rose garden was how she loved it, a holiday had been booked to Europe and her house was immaculate and back to before her accident.

  “You’ve been told you have to rest. Last night at Mother’s was too much for you.”

  Swatting my ass, my cheeks flush. Sensitivity knows no boundaries when you’re pregnant. My pussy is on fire with the smallest of touches. Nipples alert and ready to be pinched just looking at the inked, muscle man who hijacked my heart.

  “And I told you, marshmallow and I are fine. I just ate too much of Mother’s apple crumble last night. Heartburns a killer.”

  Now a week after the scare, I’ve been eating everything in sight, including vanilla marshmallows which is so freaking ridiculous because I usually despise them. But indulging in desserts is going to be my downfall. And Iris has proven herself to be the queen when it comes to after-dinner treats.

  “Blame your mother for giving me second and thirds of the sweetened goodness celebrating the news that she’s going to be a grandmother. I have a feeling pounds will be hugging these hips if she has anything to do with it.” We both laugh.

  “I think you are right.” Tanner beamed with pride.

  I stood behind him, letting him shine in his masculine glory when he announced our pregnancy to his mother. Tears fell from all our eyes. Iris hugged him tight, making up for their lost time. Dragged into the embrace, we held one another. Lost time couldn’t be replaced, but new memories were on the horizon.

  “I’m going to work today, there’s no dangers lurking around at the moment,” I eyeball him, questioning him. “That I know about. Tonight’s the big night. My designs will be flaunted on the runway, but I have to inspect every one of them beforehand.”

  “Don’t you have someone to do that?” Standing by the coffee pot, Tanner swirls in some extra cream in my cup.

  “Yes, but I need to. These creations are my babies, and I know them best.” Biting into cake, this week I’m craving chocolate mud, I wash it down with the coffee. “No one can do it better than me. I know what I want to see on each piece and how to make it happen.” I shake my head to clear it of the fashion launch I helped with when I first started in this industry. It taught me to rely on myself and nobody else if I wanted the best.

  “At least put flat shoes on.” Brown heated eyes look down my blossoming body to my feet in six-inch heels.

  The cake I’m about to shovel into my mouth flies out of my hand and smacks him on the face. Such a waste, but a necessary one. “Never bring my shoes into our discussions, it wouldn’t be wise.”

  “Oh Hotcakes, just ‘cause you’re carrying my child, doesn’t mean I won’t punish you.”

  Darkness has taken hold of his features; blackened eyes spear me and his mouth smirks. Dangerous and foreboding, but all deliciously mine. My legs clench together and my pussy floods.

  Stepping back slowly, I grin. “Thank Christ. I wouldn’t want you turning into Neville.” I see it click, and I turn and run. I’m playing with fire.

  Shit, this tight skirt doesn’t let my legs move and the damn heels. “No. Put me down.”

  His large arm slides around my bump, but he lifts my ass so he’s cradling me into his powerful chest. I breathe deeply in and take in Tanner smell. Longing eyes penetrate me and no matter how many times I look into them, I still find shimmery light, filled with awe, heat, and love.

  “I’m so proud of you.” Quiet words filter over his lips. “You’re an amazing lady, fashion designer and soon-to-be momma.”

  My body melts into his broad chest.

  This is home. Our new life together, one we will shape to fit our way of living.

  It won’t be easy, but as some smart ass once told me, nothing worth having is ever easy.

  Tanner may be right, for once.

  Our family’s happiness and love is worth fighting for and protecting.

  “Make love to me, Muscles.” I hardly finish my sentence and he is kissing my nose, butterflies taking over my stomach.

  “Actually, scrap that.”

  Latching on to his lips, desperation and desire and pregnancy hormones are a heady combination. My tongue demands and his steel piercing rams into my mouth. I take all he is giving me.

  Bang. Thud. Bang. Thud.

  Butterflies gone. They are replaced by a typhon.

  “Fuck me hard.”

  Six months later

  There was no torture when I killed Liza and Elektra.

  I’d had enough of them dictating my movements. I didn’t give them the satisfaction of one more minute when I arrived. The boys had their revenge first. Each of them keen to make Liza pay, but seeing mother alive, albeit dehydrated, unkept and skinny, I wanted it over fast. I’d already dedicated more time than Liza deserved with me searching for her for weeks.

  Thinking back, I should have been grateful to Liza in a way. She had saved my mother’s life, intending to use it for evil purposes but the woman that gave birth to me and loved me unconditionally was alive because of her plan to blackmail us. But she crossed the never to return line when Crystal was kidnapped, Emerald was hurt, and Ocean shot because of her greediness. We’d exterminated all of her dedicated followers. There wasn’t an option to change sides. Trust could not be given to them again. So they were taken care of.

  “Talk about fucking torture.” Drinking a glass of water, Slate and Ocean enjoy their whisky, laughter curling at their lips. “We sat there and watched a woman give birth with no pain relief. The screaming wasn’t human. It curdled my blood and we all know I’ve seen some sick shit.” Opting not to drink alcohol due to the impending birth of Little Marshmallow, yeah the name stuck, I can’t drown the noise out of my ears with scotch. My palms have been sweating on and off recalling the shrieking.

  “You’re not telling that story again?” Rolling her eyes, Crystal waddles, although I’d fucking lie back and blue before I confessed to saying she waddled, across the living room grinning. “You scare the freakin’ fudge cakes out of any living person with one look, you can slit a person’s throat and beat a man to a bloody mess but hearing a woman in labor, you crumble.”

  “I wouldn’t say crumble.” Putting my cards down, I glare at her. The guys smirk.

  “Oh, wouldn’t you?” Coming to the table, she makes room on my lap, grinning like a cat who ate the canary. Her arm latches around my shoulder. Resting my hand on her stomach, I feel the foot poking into her rib. A warmth spreads through me. “What would you call it when you refuse to look at the head of a newborn baby coming out of a woman? When you have to conveniently leave the group of ten couples to find a bathroom to wash your face before you pass out? When you walk back in with a hand over your delicate eyes? Maybe crumbles not the word. Hmmm.” Pursing her lips like she’s thinking, I want to spank her ass. “Dissolved? Weakened? Had a meltdown?” A giggle escapes her rosy lips.

  “From what I heard, Muscles.” Emerald joins in. “You nearly fainted watching the epidural be put in the lady’s back.”

  Holy hell, that did bring me to my knees, a needle being inserted into the spine. Fuck. It just isn’t right but Wildcat doesn’t need to know that.

  “And you had problems with the breathing techniques?” Lace pipes up, putting her feet up on our coffee table. Her ankles swollen. She’s twelve weeks behind us with their pregnancy. Crystal’s been lucky. No morning sickness, limited cravings except for cottage cheese with sunflower seeds, which I make in batches now and iced chocolates with whipped cream. We’d both been petrified that Crystal’s epilepsy would be a problem during her p
regnancy. But after consulting with the doctor, we were assured that by lowering the anticonvulsant medication Crystal took, both the baby and she would be okay.

  Flashbacks still haunted me watching my woman writhing on the floor. Thankful she hadn’t had a seizure since, I wanted to wrap her in cotton each day and relieve her of any stress where I could. Of course, she wouldn’t have a part of it. Stubborn as a mule, she had to get the last say in with the doctor and ensured the dosage was the lowest it could be so nothing would affect our little one. I didn’t like it, her health was my main concern, but I had to live with it. Instead of fighting her on it, I googled every bit of information I could on tonic-clonic seizures and epilepsy. I would be ready if it happened.

  My woman is in trouble tonight. I touch my lips on her ear. “What didn’t you tell your friends?”

  Bright, but tired eyes smile at me. A handful of marshmallows being consumed in between words.

  “The instructor was a cow. She hated me from the minute I walked in and I ignored her flirting.”

  “She wasn’t flirting.”

  “Tiger, I know when someone’s making advances at me. Trust me, I see it enough.” It has been easy to ignore since I made the decision to let myself be with only one woman. To allow the infamous emotion of love into my world.

  “Well, ladies are only human and you are a total god.” Emerald and Lace raise their eyebrows and groan. “But, she was a lesbian. You didn’t pick up on that? The other midwife was her partner.”

  “Really?” I totally missed it. The experience of the Lamaze class wasn’t one I want to repeat in a hurry. “Are you guys doing the course?” Time to turn the conversation off me.

  Lace glances at Caden who shrugs. “You make it sound so fucking appealing. But if Angel wants to, then I’m in.”

  Lace nods and rubs her growing stomach, smiling down at it.

  “Did you find out what the sex of the baby is?” Crystal takes the plate of lemon meringue pie she served me twenty minutes ago. The full fork entering her mouth. Christ, she can eat.

  “You better hope you haven’t found out and you didn’t tell us, ‘cause I’m still pissed at Crystal for not telling me before Tanner she was pregnant.” Emerald tips up her cider and gulps a mouthful down, eyes glistening with mischief. “Things could get ugly.”

  “No. We decided we wanted a surprise, so quit getting your panties in a knot.”

  “As much as I’m loving the baby conversation, do you ladies need to be right here for this, or can we get back to our game.” Ocean tips his drink up, smirking. “T, you can join them if you want to?”

  Ocean may be the last of us to find his perfect partner, but he cares for these women like his own. We all know what it would mean if we were to lose our brightness. The world would become a fucking terrifying place. And none of us want to experience that.

  “You do know once these babies are out, our next mission is to find you a woman? So you better start being nice to us.” Crystal laughs.

  The others nod in agreement. Ocean drinks his beer and scowls.

  “I can find my own and I’m not on the market anyway.”

  Slate looks up from his heated glare on Emerald, Lace, and Caden fix their gaze on Ocean.

  “You’re telling us you have a girl? Who is she and why don’t we know about this?” Rubbing her shoulders, I nip Tiger’s neck.

  “I’m not saying a thing.” Ocean casts his eyes over us. “Am I dealing or not?

  I wipe a crumb from Crystal’s lip with my tongue. “You ready to go to our apartment to see if we can get this treasure out early?”

  “Please.” The pulse in her neck is rapid and her eyes hungry. Pregnancy fucking is something to be appreciated. Ready to be taken at any moment, her sex drive matches mine and then some. I’m far from complaining.

  Sliding my arm around Crystal’s waist, my hand rests on her baby bump. Fingers splayed across her taut dress and huge stomach, I smile. Flutters from beneath have my chest exploding with elation. They are my everything.

  My heart had been disfigured in childhood by my father, sabotaged by myself in my late teens and twenties and ruined when I lost my mother. It had been shattered and depleted because of the dark I carried within it. Crystal, transparent and solid like her name, revived some of my blackness. Stealing each fragment that made me and breathed happiness back into it.

  My organ would always be scarred, but with each day, it lightened.

  “Tanner.” Lifting my eyes from her swollen belly, her blue pits drag me in. They drown me completely, again and again. “Are you ready?”

  “I’m always ready when it comes to you.”

  “’Cause it’s…t…time.” Grasping her stomach, her face grimaces and she bends forward. “My wat…water’s, damn.”

  Clutching her waist, I support my woman and our child. Our friends rally around us. Love engulfs us. Something I wouldn’t have allowed myself in the past to accept or want.

  “Fuck. Hospital now.” Emerald’s fussing around, the guys slap my shoulder and I stare at the most beautiful, unique, and precious lady in the world. Everything becomes perfectly clear. There’s no room for anything other than my family now. Time to eradicate the poison from within.

  My past won’t define me anymore.

  Words now strengthen me, lift me and give me hope.

  Warmth spreads in crevices within I didn’t know existed.

  “You’re mine.”

  Her cheeks are pink, her plump lips glisten with lip gloss, her aquamarine eyes penetrate me. “You’re going to be a good daddy to our little king.”

  My body stops. My mouth gape, my eyes widen. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  “Shit. Didn’t you know?” Emerald’s voice stabs through the silence.

  I couldn’t care less, because in this moment, only Crystal and I exist. I’d chosen not to know the sex of our baby. Good surprises were so rare in my world. Crystal being obstinate, had to know, of course. She had to be in control.

  Pulling in a deep breath, my chin lifts and my chest puffs out in pride. We’re having a boy. “Our marshmallow is a boy?” My voice is soft and reverent. I’m the luckiest monster walking this planet.

  Blonde hair frames her face as she nods in agreement. “Don’t go thinking we are calling him Tanner Junior either.” Raising her eyebrows, she means business.

  I beam a megawatt smile. This woman knows me too well. “I love you.”

  Memories worth remembering are about to be made.

  Crystal, Little Marshmallow, and I will write our future together.

  Kissing Crystal’s now relaxed lips, my head dips to her forehead.

  “Come on, it’s time to meet our son, Momma.”

  Fighting for most of my life, the fight to win Crystal has been the toughest and the most challenging.

  And for the first time, I can honestly and unequivocally say, “I have won.”

  The End

  It is such a humbling experience being a writer. I could never thank each reader enough for taking the time to read my words. If you have followed me on my journey or a new to me author, I sincerely appreciate your time and taking a chance on my stories.

  I truly hope you enjoyed My Monster and Tanner and Crystal’s journey. If you did, please think about leaving a short review from where you purchased the book. As an Indie Author, I rely on word of mouth. Thank you for helping me spread my words to more readers.

  A HUGE shoutout to my Beta Readers—Julie, Dee and Allyson. You make me think, challenge me and my characters so they are they best they can be. I appreciate your words, ideas and humor and send you hugs and love.

  Stacey from Champagne Book Design has done it again. Her flawless cover, and formatting has made My Monster simply stunning in all ways possible. I am so very grateful for all you do for me. Thank you!

  Because of Ellie McLove from My Brother’s Editor, My Monster sparkles. Thank you for your words, time and experience. I am so very blessed to have
crossed paths with you.

  To all of my friends, readers and other authors who are part of this amazing romance community, I thank each of you. You inspire me, lift me and support me when needed. To Carla, TC, Jamie and Caro who listen, give advice or share their precious time to help me when I need a boost or ideas, I truly appreciate you!

  Warm hugs to you all xxx

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  THE SAVAGE SHADOWS SERIES

  My Bastard

  My Devil

  SWEET DUET

  Sweet Deception

  Sweet Redemption