“Would you like a cup of tea?” Jessica asked, grinning widely.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Teri hobbled into the house on her sprained ankle.
“Feel free to put up your foot,” Jessica said. “I’ll be right back with some tea.”
Teri was on her way to the couch when the phone, which was sitting on the coffee table, rang. “Do you want me to get it?” Teri asked.
“Sure,” Jessica called back from the kitchen. Teri didn’t call Jessica to the phone, so she waited for the water in the tea kettle to boil, poured it over the Good Earth tea bag, and carried the two mugs into the living room on a tray.
“Who was on the phone?”
“Wrong number,” Teri said. “Somebody named Greg Fletcher trying to contact a Jessica Morgan.”
Jessica abruptly lowered the tray to the coffee table, rattling both the cups in the process.
“Whoa!” Teri said, reaching for one of the mugs before it spilled. “Got it.” She drew the hot mug to her lips for a sip and then looked at Jessica, who was still standing. “Jess, are you okay?”
Chapter Nineteen
Jessica sat down and tried to calmly sip her tea. She changed the subject from the phone call to Kyle. “He said he wants to take me to a Chinese restaurant. Do you want to come with us? I’m sure it would be fine with Kyle.”
Teri shook her head, laughing at Jessica’s suggestion. “I think he would rather it be just the two of you. Don’t downplay this, Jess. You have to realize you’re the first woman in four years he has asked out. That’s no small thing, especially with a man like Kyle, who in my opinion, is the catch of the century.”
“Then why didn’t you ever go out with him?” Jessica asked.
“No chemistry,” Teri said, holding up her left hand and flicking her fingers several times in the air. “No sparks. We settled into the brother-sister role from the beginning and neither of us tried to move it to anything else.”
“Then who does make sparks for you?” Jessica asked, eager to get the focus off herself.
“He’s not from around here. His name is Mark. Mark Hunter.”
“And where is this Mark Hunter?”
“Hawaii,” Teri said with a playful smile curling up the corners of her mouth. “One of my sisters moved there, and I went to visit her this summer. They set me up with Mark the first night, we were together as much as possible for the next week and a half, and then I came home.”
“You two really hit it off?”
Teri nodded and smiled. “Chemistry,” she said. “Sparks-a-plenty.”
“So why haven’t you pursued anything?”
“Mark is a marine biologist. He’s working on a grant for a year studying whales and the way they communicate with each other. It’s really pretty fascinating. I happened to be there the week before his program started, so he had some time for me. Now he’s buried in his research until next July.” Teri sipped the last of her tea and added, “I do have three Hallmark cards and two phone calls to brag about. But I’ve set the relationship aside until next summer.”
“Are you planning to go back to Hawaii in July, then?” Jessica asked.
“I might go as soon as school is out. I’ve been saving every penny. We’ll see what God has in mind. Right now he seems awfully silent when I talk to him about Mark.”
“I hope things work out for you,” Jessica said.
“I do, too.” Teri placed her mug on the tray and rose to leave. “Thanks for the tea and sympathy,” she said, shooting her bright smile at Jessica and hobbling toward the door. “This stupid ankle. What a nuisance! I twisted it when I was in high school at cheerleader tryouts, and since then I’ve sprained it probably five times. You would think I’d be used to it by now. I do own a rather interesting assortment of ankle braces and bandages. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.”
Teri left, and Jessica returned to the kitchen where she placed the mugs in the sink and looked at her hands. They were quivering.
Should I call Greg? What would I say? How did he find me? What if something is wrong with my father?
Jessica went to the secretary and pulled out her address book. She thumbed through the pages until she found the number and dialed it quickly.
“Good afternoon. Fletcher, Holcomb, and Meiers.”
Jessica couldn’t speak.
“Hello?”
“Yes,” she said, trying to steady her voice, “Greg Fletcher, please.”
“May I tell Mr. Fletcher who’s calling?”
Without thinking, Jessica hung up. This is ridiculous! What am I doing? I can’t contact Greg. Not yet.
For the rest of the week, Jessica wondered why Greg Fletcher had called. Yet she refused to phone him back.
On Wednesday, Kyle came to her health ed class as promised. She knew his talk would be important to himself and to the teens. What she didn’t realize was how powerful his words would be. As Kyle told the class about Lindsey and how she contracted AIDS—just one time, from one guy—girls were sniffling and guys were leaning back in their chairs with their arms across their chests as they studied Kyle with somber expressions. The portion of Kyle’s presentation that surprised her most was when he told the class he was a virgin. She hadn’t expected a twenty-six-year-old man like Kyle to have made it this far as a virgin and then to talk about it openly. Jessica thought no man on earth could be a more powerful example of virtue and chastity. Not for these students.
She was even more convinced of how right she had been to invite Kyle to speak when she overhead two of her students in the back of the class. One of the girls was tearfully telling her friend, “If I thought a guy like Kyle might be waiting for me—intact—when I finished school, I never would have done it with Andy.”
“That’s behind you,” the other girl said. “You can still hold out for a hero. Starting today. You can be pure from here on out. It’s not too late.”
Jessica wondered if she should try to enter into their conversation, but decided they were doing just fine.
When Kyle was about to leave her room, he gave Jessica a look she had never seen before on his face, as if he were experiencing pain and joy at the same time. Bittersweet lines of victory and hope were drawn across his forehead. Jessica’s anticipation for Friday, when they went out to dinner and could talk, grew more intense.
She found herself considering telling Kyle about the phone call from Greg Fletcher. But how could she mention that her dad’s lawyer called and she had struggled with calling him back unless she unloaded her whole history on Kyle? And she couldn’t do that. She hated the position she was in. She hadn’t counted on someone like Kyle coming into her life when she made her decision to tuck her past away forever.
Wednesday night Kyle called Jessica from the station. “My schedule has changed. I have tomorrow off, and I was wondering if you would be up for getting together tomorrow night.”
Jessica wondered if Kyle was beginning to feel the way she did—that it was too long to wait until Friday to see each other. She accepted, and he said he would pick her up after school. The Chinese restaurant he wanted to take her to was an hour away.
“You’ll love this place,” he said. “They have the best kung pao chicken in Oregon. It’s well worth the drive.”
Jessica dressed with extra care on Thursday morning and walked to school under the cloudy skies with a song in her heart. She passed the hydrangea bush where her little squirrels lived and noticed how all the lavender snowballs had transformed into dried up brown wads. How short had been their bright blooming season. A familiar fear crept in and began to torture Jessica, the fear that what she had allowed to begin with Kyle would only be a bright burst and then be gone.
In the past few days she had noticed a definite peace overriding her other emotions, an indication, she knew, of her changed view of God. However, her everyday life was still a tangled mess. She couldn’t impose any of that on Kyle.
Jessica walked into her classroom a few minutes before eight o’cl
ock. Charlotte Mendelson sat on the corner of her desk. “You have a problem, Ms. Morgan-Fenton,” Charlotte began. “Did you have a guest speaker in your health ed class yesterday?”
“Yes.” Jessica set down her tote bag and approached Charlotte with confidence. “It was the best thing I’ve done all year.”
“You didn’t clear it with me, you didn’t clear the topic with the school board, and you didn’t send home the required letter to the parents ahead of time.” Charlotte rose, threw back her shoulders, and towered over Jessica. “Disciplinary action will be discussed at the next school board meeting. You’ll receive a notice.” Clicking her tall, narrow heels and striding to the door, Charlotte tossed over her shoulder, “I am going to see to it that you are ousted from this school before the month is over.”
Before Jessica could gather her wits about her, students began to file into the classroom. Let it go, Jess, she coached herself. Don’t let that woman get to you. The school board will understand when they hear how much good Kyle’s talk did. Charlotte doesn’t have anything on you.
Dawn came up to Jessica’s desk and said, “Could I talk to you a minute in private?”
“Sure.”
They hovered in a corner at the back of the room. Dawn spoke in hushed tones, flipping her long hair first to one side of her head and then to the other. “I just wanted to tell you thanks for having Kyle talk to us yesterday. He really made me think. I didn’t know about Lindsey. Nobody did, I guess. After everything I learned in Mexico last weekend and the friends I made, I feel as if things are turning around in my life. And then Kyle’s talk yesterday—I have a different perspective on life. I know I probably sounded pretty weird when I came to your house a few weeks ago. Things are a lot clearer for me now, and you had a big part in that. I just want to say thanks.”
Jessica repeated Dawn’s words to Kyle that night as they drove to dinner. She also told him about Charlotte. Kyle’s advice was not to worry about Charlotte.
“Oh, I know,” Jessica agreed. “I won’t let her get under my skin. But I thought you should know what she said in case the school board calls you in on this.”
A smile spread across Kyle’s broad jaw, and he shot a glance at Jessica. “It won’t be a problem,” he said confidently. Jessica wished she could have the same optimism.
Once they were seated in a red vinyl booth at the rather small Chinese restaurant, Jessica opened her tall menu and scanned the items listed. It was an extensive list, especially for such a remote restaurant. “How did you ever find this place?” she asked Kyle.
“A couple of us guys stumbled on it when we came back from a hunting trip last fall. What do you think? Pretty authentic, isn’t it?”
Jessica wasn’t sure what he meant by authentic. She ordered the sweet and sour pork and a dish of steamed dumplings, which they shared. The food was good. Yet to Jessica the food mattered little. Being with Kyle was what was good. She listened to him talk about deer season in Oregon and camping in the winter in Idaho on the ice.
“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you the good news,” he said. “The border patrol in Calexico called this morning. They found the guys who took all our stuff. They were trying to sell a major portion of it to one person, and the guy turned them in.”
“That’s amazing,” Jessica said. “Were most of the items still there?”
“I don’t know. We’ll find out. They boxed it all up and put it on a bus. It’ll be here Monday.”
“That’s great, Kyle! I hope you get all your camping gear back.”
“Me, too. I don’t exactly have the money to go out and replace all of it. Do you want to try some of this?” He pointed his wooden chopsticks at a still steaming mound of chicken and fried rice.
“Sure.”
Kyle scooped up a lump of rice on his chopsticks and precariously held it in midair between them. Jessica leaned over and tried to gracefully make contact with the rice. Most of it went in her mouth as she suppressed a laugh. Kyle smiled and reached across with his other hand, gently wiping a few stray grains from her top lip.
His touch on her lip had a powerful effect on her. His finger, her lip. It had been their first meeting point. Jessica caught her breath and looked away.
She poked around at her pork, trying to squelch the desire to speak openly with Kyle, to release the burden on her heart and be freed from it the way Kyle appeared to be free from the secret of Lindsey’s death.
“Jess, I want to ask you something.”
Jessica looked up at him and tried to smooth all the worry lines off her forehead.
“Can you tell me why you left California? What is it you’re running from?”
“Like I told you in Mexico. My dad.”
Kyle waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. “Can the relationship be healed?”
“I don’t think so. Not unless I go back. And I won’t.”
They ate silently. A huge knot formed in Jessica’s stomach. She found it hard to eat and put down her chopsticks. Cupping both hands around the small teacup, Jessica sipped her tea. The waiter brought the check and a plate with two fortune cookies.
Jessica chose one, hoping the silly proverb inside would allow them a new topic of conversation. She cracked it open, pulled out the white slip of paper, and read it to herself.
“What does it say?” Kyle asked.
“It says, ‘Do not seek fame. It will find you.’ Now those are profound words!”
Kyle opened his fortune cookie and read aloud, “In matters of love, remain firm.”
“Ooh,” Jessica teased. “Mr. Tough Guy, huh?”
“You heard it here first,” Kyle said. He reached for his wallet, and Jessica watched him inconspicuously tuck the slip of paper into his wallet as he took out his Visa and flipped it down on the check. She thought it was sweet and sentimental of him to save the fortune and decided to do the same with hers.
“Would you like to go to the football game with me tomorrow night?” Kyle asked once they were back in the truck and on their way home. “You haven’t seen our guys defend their title yet, have you?”
“Sure, I’d love to.” Jessica slid across the bench seat in the front of the truck and sat closer to Kyle.
Kyle responded the way she had hoped he would. He slid his arm across the back of the seat and enveloped her shoulder with his large hand. Jessica snuggled a little closer and comfortably rested her head against his shoulder. It was wonderfully relaxing. Neither of them spoke.
The road stretched on and on in front of them, and they sat close as each listened to the steady breathing of the other. With all her heart, Jessica wished this evening could be frozen in time. How she had longed for a man like this and a night like this to be close to him. They didn’t have to discuss anything. Not her past, not the future. They had now, and that was all that mattered.
Chapter Twenty
You know,” Kyle said when they were a few miles outside Glenbrooke, “I never really thanked you for challenging me to be open about Lindsey’s death. When you told me about Dawn tonight, I could see that some good has already come from it, and I believe a lot more will.”
“I do too,” Jessica agreed.
“For one thing,” Kyle said softly, “I feel ready and open to pursue a relationship with you. It was a long four years. I can’t help but believe God sent you to me.”
Jessica felt warmed inside. She had never been anyone’s answer to prayer before. Kyle’s words comforted and flattered her at the same time. Both were wonderful sensations to lull in while locked into this freeze-frame moment.
“What I’d really like,” Kyle said, squeezing Jessica’s shoulder, “is to know what you’re feeling.”
“I love being with you, Kyle. I love listening to you and being close to you like this. And I think in a way God sent you to me. My whole life has changed.”
“And for the future?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” Jessica said, feeling her muscles tighten.
“Jess,”
Kyle said, his deep voice rumbling in his chest and echoing in her ear, “I don’t think you will know until you settle whatever issues you have with your dad.”
“It’s not that easy,” Jessica said, sitting up and putting a few inches of distance between them. “You don’t understand what’s at stake here.”
“I’d like to know, if you would let me,” Kyle said.
Jessica shook her head. “I can’t. Please try to understand. It’s not that I don’t wish things were different and that I was free to fall in—” she caught herself. “To be with you.”
“You don’t have to rephrase it, Jess. I think we both know that we’re in love with each other. Why won’t you open yourself up with me?”
“Because if I do, then everything will change.”
“No it won’t. I promise.”
“You can’t promise,” Jessica said, her emotions rising. “You don’t even know what you’re promising! Can’t we just have today and maybe tomorrow and not worry about what comes next?”
“I don’t think so,” Kyle said. He turned down Jessica’s street and brought the truck to an abrupt halt in front of her house. “That’s not good enough for me.”
“Well then, forget it!” Jessica said, sliding across the seat and opening her own door. “You have no idea what you’re asking of me.”
She blasted out of the door and slammed it hard. With giant steps, she marched up her front walkway. Surely Kyle would jump out of the truck and come after her. They could work out some kind of middle ground.
But Kyle didn’t follow her. As she turned the key in her door, she heard his tires peel away from the curb and the truck roar down the street. Jessica lurched inside her house and slammed the door. She ripped her purse off her shoulder and threw it on the floor.
“Jessica, you’re an idiot!” she yelled. “What are you doing?” She bulldozed her way into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. Chugging down the water, she tried to calm herself. Why did I do that? I’m behaving like a two-year-old. Where is this coming from?
Secrets Page 18
