Inspired

by Jessica Florence

  I didn’t know the answer to that question. I was sure some people could, and they were very happy with that. But I wasn’t sure if I was one of those people.

  “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone for a short time and then letting them go. Less complicated.”

  “I don’t know, Gia. He’s something special. If we crossed that line, I don’t know if I could let him go in the end.” Honest truth there, but it also made me feel like, at some point, Logan’s caring and investment in my happiness would die down. Probably after his paid time.

  He was spoiling me with his attention and desire for me to be a better me.

  “Think about it. He might set the bar high, so when you get married again, you won’t settle for anything less than being taken care of as much as he takes care of you.”

  That was a thought.

  Gia leaned in to hug me, the warm feeling making me wrap my arms around her and smile. I missed this closeness.

  “Okay, enough about him. We need to go out and do something soon. We can even invite Mom. Have a mommy-and-daughters’ night. Been a long time since we’ve done that.”

  She nodded into my shoulder as her body started shaking. Unease filled me, my arms released her, and I pulled back to look at her face, making sure she was okay.

  Tears were pooling in her eyes.

  “Gia, Oh my god, are you okay?”

  Why was she crying? Had I said something wrong?

  “I’m just so happy you’re finding yourself again. I’ve missed you. Whatever miracle he’s pulled in the short time since I saw you is nothing short of amazing. I’m just—” She hiccuped and wrapped me in a hug again.

  This time, I wasn’t worried, and I let her hold me.

  “I’m just happy. Happy tears. No worries. It’s those kids’ fault for messing up my emotions. I can just start crying at any moment. I also pee a little when I laugh sometimes. Stupid kids.”

  I laughed, which made her laugh before she indeed left me standing on the porch while she ran inside to the bathroom.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Logan

  “What’s a nice boy like you doing without a girl on your arm?”

  “He needs to eat more. I can practically see his ribs through his shirt. Have some more chicken, my boy.”

  “You need to visit Italia, Logan. It is the most beautiful country.”

  “Si, Roberto, così bello.”

  So beautiful. That I actually understood.

  “Si, take Mia with you. She needs a man in her life again.”

  “My Mia does not need no man. She has her papa to take care of her. Her famiglia. He’s too small.”

  Well, Mia had warned me about her family.

  At first, they’d all hugged her and welcomed her back to the family outings since it seemed she’d been avoiding them. Then, they had noticed me and hadn’t left me alone since. I didn’t mind at all though. I soaked up the family attention, something I never had. So, it was satisfying. Even when they told me I was too small or too skinny. That I was getting too old and needed to settle down and make a family. I had no clue what they were saying in Italian when they switched back and forth like they did, something I’d noticed Mia had a habit of doing, too. Which, of course, I found sexy as fuck.

  But the general consensus was that I needed to scoop Mia up before someone else did. She had a good smile, independence, and baby-making hips that ran in the family on her mother’s side. Her mother swore, all she had to do was look at her father, and she’d be pregnant.

  Nothing they’d said to me offended me simply because they weren’t saying anything to be mean, and I knew that. Truthfully, I was a hard person to offend anyway. I simply didn’t care what others thought.

  But being fussed over was nice.

  I’d eaten so much food at dinner that I was going to need to be rolled out of the house at the end of the night.

  “You look so ravishing, Mia. You know, I saw Penny Pattura last week, and she told me that her niece’s son just got out of the military. And he is a handsome fellow. Why don’t you go on a date with him? I will set it up. Don’t you worry about a thing. Just wear the pretty clothes and smile, and he will want to marry you that night. Wear the good-luck earrings your mother gave you.” Mia’s aunt Sofia was a hoot with her stories, and I thought she was one of my favorite people out of the family.

  Mia blushed and smiled, not saying a thing. As she had most of the night. She was still reserved here for some reason, like she didn’t know how she was supposed to act. But I could see the love and comfort in her eyes, in the way she held herself. She was proud to be a part of this family and would be making more of an effort to be a part of it if the determination in her gaze said anything.

  “Okay.” Mia was agreeing with her aunt.

  Interesting. Maybe she wanted to get out into the dating pool again. Her hair wrapped in some woman’s niece’s son’s military hands as he leaned in to kiss her plump lips. Her moans would be heard by his ears alone, and his fingers would touch her soft tan skin.

  The images attacked me with such force that I was caught by complete surprise.

  I wanted Mia, but we had drawn a line. We were sticking to our sides of that line because it was better for us. I didn’t think Mia was ready to date. Her dad was right; she didn’t need a man. She needed to find herself first.

  After somehow managing to eat some struffoli, Mia sat next to me at the table and expressed she was ready to leave. Had a busy day tomorrow, an early board meeting. It was late, almost nine in the evening. Her family knew how to have a dinner; that was for sure. Of course, I was invited back to all the Sunday dinners—unless I broke her heart. They didn’t say what would happen to me if I did, but the glares said plenty.

  Something bad might happen to me.

  “I see it, so don’t deny it. My Mia needs someone like you in her life. Someone who lets her fly but gives her a nest to come back to. Not chains her to the tree like that man did. Venus is already working her magic on you two. It’s a blessing to have love, Logan, not a complication,” Mia’s mother whispered these words into my ear, hugging me, after I had to lean down since she was much shorter than I was.

  Her words though. They’d hit me in a way I hadn’t thought possible.

  The car ride was silent the whole way back to the hotel, Mia inside her mind, which was fine for now. She was smiling instead of her lips turning toward the floor, so her thoughts were okay and not dark. I kept chewing on her mother’s parting words. Unsure of how I felt and trying to decipher my emotions. I hadn’t blown her off and said there was nothing between Mia and me, nor did I confess my undying love for her. Love was not for me. After my wife and I had split, I’d just decided I didn’t want that type of entanglement again. Mia was smart and beautiful, and her true spirit was beginning to shine on the outside.

  Maybe it was just the added emotions of being treated like family, Mia possibly going on a date, and her mother’s words that had me feeling weird. I wasn’t jealous since Mia wasn’t mine. But those images of another man touching her and experiencing sensations I dreamed about didn’t sit right with me. The fullness inside my chest from being fussed over and actually wanted inside a house was refreshing in a way I hadn’t known I needed. Tink and my friends wanted me around. They were my family in all the ways that counted, but being around a larger group of people who wanted you to call them Uncle and Aunt and Nonna hit me right in the missing family category of my mind. My parents didn’t care. There was a hole inside me from that. I’d forgiven them and moved on, but the hole was there still, healing, but Mia’s family stuffed it full of food and comfort. It probably would leak out, and there’d be a hole again, but for now, I’d enjoy feeling complete in that area.

  “It’s a blessing to have love, Logan, not a complication.”

  She’d read me like a book on that statement. In my dictionary, love had complication as its definition. But I did agree with her about one thing. When Mia eve
ntually settled down again, she needed someone who would let her be free, provide her with a home that she could be happy to come home to. Filled with warmth and art and music to dance to. Not hold her down, isolate her from everything she found joy in, and suffocate the light inside her. Chained to the tree like her mother had said.

  “I know it’s late, but do you wanna come up, so I can read you that letter? I feel like I wanna say it and be done if you don’t mind.”

  Mia looked at me, and I saw that she felt at ease. She wanted to brush the dust off her and let it go.

  “Of course.”

  I was here for her. My issues would be put on the back burner for her. She needed for me to be one hundred percent, not focusing on my own issues. So, I would deal with my shit later. Mia now, my emotions another day.

  The whole way up to her penthouse, we were quiet, and once inside, she poured me a glass of water before sitting down with her laptop, not saying a word to each other. There was something heavy in the air, and I was feeling too much to decipher it. But no matter. I sat at attention and waited to hear Mia’s letter.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Mia

  Surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous as I opened up my laptop and waited for it to boot up, so I could read my letter of pain and redemption to Logan. He wouldn’t judge me for anything that came out of my mouth. He would be there as a shoulder to cry on if I needed it to push through the raw emotions sitting on my lap.

  What I’d said in the car with him was true. I was ready to end it. Sever the ties that bound me to my pain and Wallace. He was no longer a villain in my story. The villain was the pain inside me, and it needed to be put to rest once and for all.

  Then, I’d finally be free to move on and to be who I wanted to be.

  “We can still wait if you want.” Logan’s comforting words only made me want to say everything more.

  I shook my head and pulled up the letter on the screen.

  “Okay, here we go,” I announced to myself, to Logan, and to the world around me.

  I was ready.

  “Dear Wallace …”

  I read aloud my pain and my story. No tears were needed this time, as I felt every word but knew that this was the end. The true end of those feelings having a hold over me. Logan listened, completely silent and still, like a statue I’d happened upon and decided to tell my tale to.

  Knowing he was there, hearing every drop of anguish in my words, I felt more powerful with every breath I used to speak. Not everyone was strong enough to share their pain, let alone face it themselves. Here I was, not only facing my demon head on, but also doing it in front of another human.

  “Good-bye, Wallace, and I hope you find peace.”

  I didn’t feel the need to burn these words and send them off into the air. I simply closed the window, dragged the document into the trash can, and emptied it. That was all I needed. I’d spoken my peace and now, and as if I cleaved some part of me off with uttering good-bye, those emotions that were attached to all those painful memories were gone. Wiped clean from existence, and I was free.

  My gaze lifted up to settle on Logan, curious as to what he’d say. I felt proud of myself, and I hoped he was, too. That he could see the changes in me like I could.

  His eyes were on me, his body still rigid, and his lips were parted, but nothing came out. Was he okay?

  “Logan?” I set the laptop on my coffee table and sat up straight.

  His normal smile was gone, and his eyes held emotions I didn’t know how to interpret. But this behavior—to be so still and quiet—was out of character for him.

  Saying his name seemed to break the spell that had been cast on him. He was up and stalking the three feet to me. My back hit the seat fast from his advance, as I did not know what else to do. His upper body leaned down, and in an instant, our lips were connected.

  Oh God. There was no sweetness to his lips as they moved against mine. This was something else. Something I’d never experienced before. He was driven to taste me, to ruin my thoughts and control so thoroughly that I would be thinking of nothing else beyond him.

  My breaths were long and shuddered with every intake, his taste blending with mine with every sweep of our tongues.

  This explosion of passion was overwhelming. My head was still trying to figure out what was happening.

  I tried to tear my lips from his to speak, but he nipped my bottom lip, and his name came out as a moan instead of a plea, “Logan.”

  What the hell I was pleading for was beginning to be lost on me.

  “Get out of your head, Mia, and be with me in this moment. Only focus on right now.”

  His lips left mine and continued pressing hot kisses against my neck. His tongue flicked that sweet spot beneath my ear. Shivers broke out across my skin, my chest heaving, and my hands went to his hips, gripping his jeans for support.

  “Do you want this?” he whispered softly against my ear.

  The tickling sensation made my nipples pucker, and my fingers harshly squeezed his hips.

  I nodded. If this moment was all we had, then damn the future to hell because I was going to live for right now with him.

  “Say it.”

  It wasn’t meant as a challenge. For all I knew, this was against business policy, and he was looking for voiced consent.

  I pushed him back, his expression a mask of confusion, but then I stood, my body rubbing against his as I rose, every glorious inch of him pressed against me. I wouldn’t just say how I felt. I’d show him. Before me was a man who would never judge me, would never think what I wanted was wrong or too imaginative. I had a chance to be this new, free me with him.

  My right hand let go of his jeans and moved around to the front of him, feeling his growing erection in my palm. My mouth watered, and his groan only spurred me to move my hand against him further.

  “I want to be in this moment with you, Logan. I want you. Preferably naked while we do delicious things to each other. Did I say enough?” I smirked, feeling confident.

  His smile grew as his hips thrust into my hand. “Enough. I’ll give you ten seconds to choose where this goes down, and then the only thing I want you to think about is feeling each sensation. Go.”

  I really liked the smiling and sweet Logan, but this side, this assertive trait, was unbelievably attractive. I believed Logan would bring me to places I’d never even fantasized about. Oh, yes, I wanted that. I wanted to experience it all, everything he had to give me.

  “Eight. Seven.”

  Shit. I looked around. Wallace and I’d only had sex in the bedroom. While that had been nice, I wanted to do something different. Uh. Crap.

  “Five. Four.” He was looking at me with a scorching blaze in his eyes. Once he reached zero, he would maul me right here.

  “Two.”

  “The kitchen!”

  His smile was wicked, my own turning into a grin of anticipation. Whatever he was going to do, I was ready.

  “The kitchen.” His chest rumbled, the vibrations echoing in mine. “Splay you on your table like my personal dessert? Or fuck you against the sink or maybe even the fridge?”

  All, please? Is there an option for all?

  “I’ve never done any of those things. Including fucking.”

  “That’s gonna change.”

  And I was looking forward to it more than he knew. This wild and unknown before me had me salivating to try everything I could.

  His hands met my back, smoothing the material as his fingers grazed down and over my ass to my thighs. He hauled me up against his body, and my legs wrapped around his hips, my skirt pushing up to my hips, bringing my core flush against his hard length. Then, he walked us to the kitchen.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Mia

  Logan gently set me down onto the kitchen table, his hungry eyes devouring me like I was indeed a dessert he was to consume.

  “Do you know how fucking sexy you are?” His raspy voice was sexy, but me?

  I sh
ook my head. I didn’t feel sexy or beautiful, especially when I was about to be naked for the first time in front of him.

  “That’s gonna change, too.” His head lowered to press a sweet kiss against my nose, and his hands moved up my thighs to the lowest button on my blouse.

  One button undone.

  His fingers moved on to the next and the next until all the buttons were undone. As he opened my shirt, I sucked in my belly slightly, feeling that ever-present self-conscious issue roll through my head.

  Logan’s eyes looked down at my breasts and my belly. “Do you know what men find the most attractive about a woman?”

  His fingers ran over the cleavage spilling over my bra and then dipped down and down. Shivers ran along my skin in the wake of his purposeful touch as he moved to unbutton my skirt.

  “Nice rack and ass?” I took a guess all while watching him as he began removing my skirt. I lifted up slightly to help him wiggle it off me.

  He left my red panties on though.

  “Confidence. A woman who knows she’s sexy is irresistible to a man.”

  Yep, that was not me. I lacked that, and while I knew it was sad that I did, there was nothing I could do about that. I was hoping this whole being with Logan in the moment thing would have me feeling better about myself and not reminding me of how far I’d fallen. Once upon a time, I had been that girl, but she was gone now. Fled this body. Maybe she was off in Tahiti with the scuba instructor and his friend.

  “I almost tackled you to the sand and kissed the fuck out of your mouth at the drum circle. Did you know that when you closed your eyes and danced so free, not caring about anything but yourself, that I was so turned on that I had to lie about needing to take a call when I just had to get space away to calm the desire to claim your sexy mouth?”

  My breath shuddered. He what?

  His tongue flicked and licked his way up my leg, stopping a hairbreadth away from the apex of my thighs. Then, he began the same treatment on my other leg. My right hand moved to the top of his head, feeling his hair between my fingers like I’d been dying to do for days.