Amish Love and Healing

by Rachel Stoltzfus

  “Libby’s friend? What’s she doing?” Amy wanted to go run to Katie and give her a hug.

  “Amy, get back here! She’s up to no gut.”

  Both twins were familiar with that term. Amy halted in her tracks. “What’s she doin’?”

  Ben considered what to tell Amy. Motioning quietly with one hand, he beckoned her to the shady spot under a nearby tree. “You’ve heard about that English person that wants us gone, ja?” At Amy’s slow nod, he continued. “I don’t think there’s such a person. I think she’s pullin’ our legs here.”

  Amy’s face registered absolute surprise. “Katie? Libby’s friend? Nee!” Amy instinctively kept her voice low.

  “Ja. Someone wrote a letter that said somethin’ about us having to move. There was a sign painted, telling us to get out. When she leaves, we’re going to get that note and take it to Dat.”

  The twins settled down, ready to wait until Katie had taken off in her buggy.

  Chapter 3

  In the King’s kitchen, Caleb and Elisabeth brought Deb up-to-date about the English rumor that had been going through the community. “We have an idea of who it is.”

  “Katie Miller?”

  “Ja. We know she’s friends with Libby. We have a plan to stop her if she’s the one who started this whole mess. We want to ask you to allow Libby to continue spending time with her.”

  Deb was mystified. “But why? If you suspect it’s her.”

  “The elders need to isolate her, but not so much that she realizes it. That’s why we need Libby to continue spending time with her.”

  “But why?”

  “Mrs. King, the bishop went to the Miller’s old community in Indiana. He learned a lot about why they moved here. She was at the center of a really hurtful rumor, one that nearly destroyed a gut man. We can’t say very much. But Bishop Lapp spoke to a medical specialist who told him that it sounded like Katie has some kind of psychological disorder. And that she has to be stopped before she is baptized and married.”

  Deb began to feel the urgency. “Oh...” Just as she began to speak, Ben and Amy came running into the house at full tilt.

  “Mam! You need to read this!” Ben thrust a torn envelope containing a note toward Deb.

  Deb grabbed the envelope and note, pulling the sheet of paper out of the envelope. She gasped, going pale. “Mei Gott!”

  “Here, let me see that, please.” Caleb accepted the note from Deb’s shaking hand.

  “This one says the same thing the other note said.” Caleb’s voice was deadly calm. “Ben, where did you find this?”

  “On a tree, Mr. Caleb. We saw who tacked it to the tree, too!”

  Caleb gripped one thigh with his hand, forcing himself to stay calm. “Oh? And who was it?”

  The room was so quiet they could have heard a mouse skittering across the floor. “...It was Libby’s friend, Katie Miller. And she—”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Ja. I recognize her. And she did something else, too.”

  “What was that?”

  “She was scooping mud into a pail. Then she washed her hand in the creek and left.”

  Caleb allowed the words to sink into his mind. He looked at his wife and at Deb. As Adam King, Deb’s husband, came into the kitchen, he stood up. “Sir. We’ve been talking with Deb. It seems that we know who’s been setting the rumor.”

  Adam sat heavily. “Who?”

  Deb spoke. “Libby’s friend, Katie Miller.”

  “Okay, that’s it. She can’t—”

  “Mr. King, we need to ask you to allow Libby to continue spending time with Katie. For a gut reason. And the bishop set that request.”

  Adam, about to raise his voice and say “nee!” halted, one hand in the air. “What? Why?”

  “Are you aware he went to Goshen, Indiana, a while ago?”

  “Ja.”

  “Well, on their way, he encountered a psychologist. And it seems that Katie may have some kind of disorder that could make her dangerous to others, especially her kinder, if she has any.”

  “So...you need our daughter to continue hanging around a girl who is potentially dangerous? What did bishop say?”

  “If you can...” Caleb stopped as the door opened, admitting Libby.

  “Libby, gut, you’re here.” Caleb motioned toward Libby to come into the kitchen.

  Libby was hot and tired, but her curiosity overrode all that. “Ja, what’s going on?”

  “Something very important. It involves you.”

  “The English person and their threats.”

  “Ja. Bishop went to the Millers’ old community, and he found out a lot about something she did to one of the men there.” Caleb gave a condensed version of what Katie had done to Big Mike Hoffstetter. “He also spoke to a psychologist as he was traveling to Goshen and learned that Katie may have some kind of past trauma or attention-seeking behavior that will cause her to hurt herself or others. Even more than she’s doing now.

  “Oh! Do you want me to stop—?”

  “Nee. Bishop wants you and just a couple girls to continue your friendships with her. We are working to stop...here, read this.” Caleb handed the note to Libby, wondering just how much of their plan he could reveal to Katie.

  Libby read the sloppily written note. “But this isn’t even Katie’s writing!”

  “Nee, Libby, but we saw her sticking it to that big tree by the creek,” Ben spoke up.

  “Oh...I would rather just stop seeing her. Caleb, I’ve suspected her for a long time.”

  “Libby, she’s going to suspect something is up if every one of her friends drops her. That’s why we need you to continue spending time with her.”

  Libby understood right away. “Oh, I see. So, you’re going to try and isolate her?”

  Elisabeth nodded. “We want to make it difficult for her to be able to bring this rumor back to life. This note says she’s going to bring it back again with the deadline. And your brother saw her scooping mud into a pail.”

  Libby was mystified. “Mud? A pail?”

  “Yes. For what, we don’t know. I suspect we’ll find out soon. But please, continue spending time with her, even though you’d rather just end your relationship.”

  Libby sighed. “Okay. I will. Is Amos going to continue seeing her?”

  “Yes, he is. Under the same conditions and for the same reasons. Don’t tell her that we’re trying to isolate her.”

  “Oh, daughter, that reminds me. Katie came by a while ago. She wants to know if you’ll go shopping with her. She wants to avoid the Hoffstetter shop and the English fabric store, so that means you’ll be going into another Amish community. And when you get home, you tell us everything that happened. Everything she said.”

  “So we can report to the bishop?”

  “Ja, exactly.”

  Libby groaned. “Okay. It’s hot out, but I need to go and let her know that we can go to the store. I think we’re going to be a while, Dat.”

  Adam had been quiet this whole time. “I don’t like this. But seeing that note and learning just why it’s so important to isolate Katie, I agree. Reluctantly. Libby, I want you to find out this afternoon where she wants to go. As it happens, I need to buy some new saw blades. I can follow you from a distance wherever she says she wants to go.”

  Libby wasn’t usually this agreeable to her dat’s oversight. “Ja, please!”

  “Libby, you’re going to have to be yourself when you see her. Try not to be tense, or she’s going to know something’s wrong. Now, I’m going to take this note to the bishop. About that mud, I am ferhoodled. I don’t know what she’s going to do.”

  Ben, being a child, knew. “She’s going to throw it against something. Or smear it.”

  “Ach! The wisdom of a child! We don’t know where this will happen, so I’ll alert the bishop. The strength of her mud flinging or smearing will be lessened by the lack of this note. Ben, Amy, Libby, denki. Mr. and Mrs. King, denki for agreeing to allow Libby to conti
nue spending time with Katie. She will be limited to two, possibly three friends. One of them being Amos Smits.”

  IN THE LAPP HOME, CALEB and Elisabeth sat at the kitchen table with the bishop and the incriminating note.

  “You say Ben and Amy saw her tacking this note to the tree.”

  “Ja. They were playing in the creek after doing homework for their mam.”

  The bishop laughed in absolute relief. “Thank Gott for the youth! They were in the right place at the right time. About that mud... Unless I follow Miss Miller, I won’t know where she’s going. I suppose I’ll have to wait until the unlucky family comes and reports to me that they have been...mudded. And we will stay absolutely silent about this note. I want her to wonder and experience consternation or even fear when nobody mentions a note.”

  “Ja. It’ll be interesting to see if she’s the one who brings it up.” Elisabeth spoke up.

  The bishop considered for several seconds. “Nee, Elisabeth. She’s too smart. But she has been seen by two twelve-year-olds.” John began laughing, feeling happiness and relief that they knew for sure and for certain that their “English person” was Katie herself. His laughter died as he considered how he was going to approach her when the time came to ask her to repent. “Ach! I didn’t envy the Goshen bishop his decision asking the family to leave. If she doesn’t want to admit to her sins and actions, I am going to have the same situation. There is no way she can be allowed to stay here, knowing what she has done.”

  Everyone sitting around the table grimaced. “Bishop, since she hasn’t taken her Kneeling Vow, what can we do?”

  “Not much, as she’s not a full member of our community yet.” John had a sudden idea. “Although...”

  Caleb glanced at Elisabeth and Lovina. “What, bishop?”

  “The Swartzentruber Amish are much more conservative than our district is. I’m going to have to consult with the other elders. But, since Katie hasn’t finished her baptismal instruction, we might be able to have a beneficial effect on her heart by getting her parents to refuse to allow her into their home—in short, a sort of shunning that would hopefully get her to see the errors of her ways. It would also help to protect her parents and the rest of our community against her bad influence.”

  Caleb rubbed his hand along his still-short beard as he thought. “Well, it could work. I’ll leave that decision to you and the other elders, though.”

  WHILE THIS DISCUSSION was ongoing, Katie quickly covered the mud so it wouldn’t dry out, then she hid it. She planned to get up late that night and sneak out of the house so she could throw the mud against someone’s house. She had chosen the Yoder home, partially because of Annie. Washing her hands at the outdoor faucet, she flapped them around so they would dry before she went inside. Inside the house, she smiled at Mary.

  “Did you see Libby?”

  “Nee, she wasn’t there. I left a message with her mam to ask if she’d go with me to a fabric store a little farther away.” Katie looked at the door as someone knocked. “I’ll get that. It might be Libby.” Looking at the person on the porch, she smiled. “Libby! Did you get my message?”

  Libby smiled back, hoping her unease didn’t show. “Ja, Mam told me you want to go to the fabric store. You know we can’t go to the English store yet.”

  “Ja, and I don’t want to stop at the Hoffstetter store, so I had the idea of driving to another Amish community and visiting their store. If you can.”

  “Oh!” Libby wasn’t sure she wanted to spend that much time in Katie’s company. Remembering what the bishop had asked her, she sighed. “Well, I’m behind on my quilting, after helping Freda with her kinder. But, as long as we’re back by, oh, mid-afternoon, I should be okay. Ja, I’ll go with you. We’d better take a lunch or extra money so we can eat.”

  “Denki! Ja, we can stop to eat. I was thinking of New Wilmington. It’s not too far from here so we wouldn’t be gone all day long. I’m not behind on my orders, but I do want to have enough supplies on hand so I can continue without having to stop.” Katie sighed. “I really wish that English person wouldn’t make things so hard on us! We’re just trying to get along and do our work!”

  Libby was silent for several seconds, struggling not to burst out with her own thoughts about the fictional English person. “Ja, well...it’s what we have to deal with until the person is unmasked.”

  “‘Unmasked?’ You make it sound like the person is running around, leaving notes or painting signs, wearing some kind of mask.”

  “Well, you know what I mean. This person is hiding their true character, and we still don’t know who they are. Ja, I just want them caught so we can do what we used to do, with running around and taking care of our chores. I’d better go. Mam told me not to be late for supper. What time do you want to leave tomorrow?”

  “As early as possible. Right after breakfast if that’s okay for you.” Katie wanted to be inside so she could think.

  “Okay. Well...better go! See you tomorrow!” Libby laid her hand on Katie’s forearm like she used to do.

  Katie, feeling the light contact, looked down at her arm. Feeling sudden tears threatening, she lightly bit her lip. “Okay, tomorrow morning. Mam wants me to help with supper, so...”

  Both girls waved at each other and parted. In the kitchen, Katie picked up the meat and prepared it for supper. As she trimmed fat and chopped the beef into stew-sized pieces, she thought. It really is coming to an end, isn’t it? She considered not going out that night to fling mud balls against the Yoder’s house. Maybe she should just confess. Better to do it all at once than ruin herself and everything she cared about by inches.

  “You’re awful quiet. Are you okay?” Mary’s voice was businesslike but still concerned.

  Katie roused from her thoughts. “Oh! I’m just thinking.”

  “About?”

  “How do you know if you’re irredeemable?”

  “What?”

  “I mean, there are good people and bad people. But I don’t think bad people think they are bad people. At least, not in the beginning. And then when they find out they’re bad people, what if it’s too late?”

  “Is this about the Englisher? Saying such terrible things about us and trying to drive us from our home, it has to be a bad person.”

  “Ja,” Katie hung her head. “I guess so.”

  “You don’t know anything about this person, do you? Who it is? Why he or she is saying such awful things?”

  Katie shrugged. “I was just thinking about Goshen. When I lied.”

  Mary sighed. “That was a hard time for all of us. When I first heard what you said Big Mike had done, I wanted to forget everything I believed in the Bible and just put my hands around his neck and squeeze until—.” Mary breathed in sharply. “I don’t know what prompted you to accuse him in that way.”

  “I think there’s something wrong with me. It’s the same thing that was wrong with Esther—.”

  Mary slammed her fist onto the counter. “There wasn’t anything wrong with Esther.”

  “She’s gone, isn’t she? She cut herself too deep and—.”

  “Quiet. You be quiet!”

  “Did she tell you about Uncle Levi? Did she tell you about the candied apples, or when he took us out in the afternoons?”

  “Esther didn’t tell stories like you do. Dat and I were just beginning to think you could be trusted again and—!”

  “No, you weren’t. You’ll always look for reasons not to trust me at all. And maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m irredeemable.”

  “Are you the person who started this rumor? About the Englisher?”

  Katie looked her mam straight in the eye and lied. “Nee. It wasn’t me. But people will blame me anyway. Barbara. Miriam.”

  “Who?”

  “Just some girls in the district. It doesn’t matter.” Katie finished cutting the meat and pushed it into the hot frying pan, along with the onions and tomatoes already there. When she had finished, she asked, “Can you watch
these for a little bit. I’m not feeling well,” Katie said. It wasn’t even a lie.

  “Ja. Mind you don’t get another migraine.”

  Chapter 4

  After going to bed, Katie waited impatiently for some time to pass by before she slipped out of the house. She had decided to go and “mud” the Yoder’s house anyway. Finally, the house was blanketed in complete, deadening silence. Slipping out from her room, still fully dressed, Katie moved down the stairs as lightly as she could. She gave a wince of anticipation as she avoided the squeaky area of one of the stairs. Making sure she had her keys with her, she slipped the door shut and locked it. After grabbing the nearly full bucket of mud, she hurried off.

  Approaching the Yoder farm, she looked both ways to make sure there would be nobody to see her sneaking in. Katie tried to sneak to the side of the barn by using large shrubs and trees as hiding places. As soon as she reached the barn, she put her hand over her rapidly beating heart and exhaled through opened lips. Next, removing the heavy plastic from the top of the bucket, she folded her sleeve and began scooping out handfuls of the smelly mud.

  Screwing her face up in an expression of distaste, she threw the mud against the barn and then smeared some of it on the white-painted wood. Wanting to be done and away from the sickening smell of the mud, she worked as fast as she could. Then, once the bucket was empty, she dropped it and ran. As she reached the Yoder’s fence, her stomach, offended by the mud’s fishy smell, rebelled. Katie leaned over and lost her dinner right by the fence line.

  After emptying her stomach, she hurried home, trying not to be sick again. Her efforts were useless. Though she was able to hold back while she snuck upstairs, she realized she needed to vomit again after she had changed into her nightgown. Closing her door quickly, she hurried down to the bathroom, barely making it on time.

  Mary, disturbed by the sound of Katie being ill, got up. Knocking on the bathroom door, she asked Katie, “Daughter, are you all right?”