Measured Mayhem

by Jessica Beck

  “I can’t work miracles; you know that, don’t you?”

  Her voice lowered again. “Suzanne, I’ve been reading about you and the murders you’ve solved in the past. If anyone can help me, it’s you.”

  “Where have you been reading all of that?” I asked, honestly shocked by her statement.

  “The April Springs Sentinel,” she said. “That writer doesn’t always come out and say it, but it’s pretty clear that you’ve developed quite a reputation for crime solving over the years.”

  Great. Ray Blake was the gift that kept on giving. Still, if his stories had led Autumn into calling me for help, I couldn’t be all that angry about it. She’d known to seek me out when she’d needed me, and that was really all that counted. “I’m curious about something,” I said.

  “Ask me anything. My life’s an open book to you.”

  “It’s not all that personal, but what made you read that rag of a newspaper in the first place?”

  “To keep up with you, of course,” she said. “I did a search online years ago for your name, and imagine my surprise when I discovered that you’d developed a rather unique hobby.”

  “I wouldn’t call what I do a hobby,” I said.

  “Have you ever gotten paid for doing it?” she asked.

  “No, not as such,” I admitted.

  “But you’re good at it, and you enjoy the process, or am I missing something?”

  “I like helping bring bad guys to justice,” I admitted, “and while I’m not nearly the investigator my husband is, I’ve managed to hold my own a time or two.”

  “Then you are an amateur sleuth, something that you can be proud of. I just hope there’s something here for you to uncover, and that it’s not all in my imagination.”

  “We’ll figure this out,” I said as I patted her hand lightly.

  Just then a heavyset man with a full beard and a large dragon tattooed on his forearm came in, grinning and holding a bag in the air. “Never fear! The cavalry has arrived! It is I, Herbert the Great.”

  There was a round of cheers from the diners, and Herbert took the opportunity to bow deeply, nearly dropping the dozens and dozens of eggs onto the floor in the process.

  “Did you say ‘Late’? Maybe you should celebrate a little less and cook a little more,” Susan told him.

  “Why can’t I do both?” he asked her with a grin.

  The big man disappeared into the kitchen, and in short order, our breakfast plates arrived.

  I took one bite of the small stack of two pancakes that covered its own large plate after I’d slathered on butter and doused them with syrup and smiled. “Wow. These are amazing.”

  Susan smiled, but then she put a finger to her lips. “Not so loud. We don’t want to give Herbert delusions of grandeur.”

  “At least not any more than he’s already got,” another diner said, and everyone started laughing.

  Herbert poked his head out through the window that separated the kitchen from the rest of us. “What did I miss?”

  “A compliment,” Susan said, “but I’m not going to tell you who it was from.”

  “Does it really matter, as long as it is praise?” Herbert asked with a smile before disappearing again.

  We were all in a good mood, but why wouldn’t we be? The food was excellent, the service was spot on, and everyone in the café felt as though we all shared a bond for riding out the wait for the eggs to arrive.

  As we were settling our bill and ready to leave the café, there was only one thing that could possibly spoil our happiness.

  Jeff Marbury, Autumn’s estranged husband, and his brother, Adam, nearly collided with us as we tried to leave.

  “Come on. Really?” Autumn asked. “You two are stalking me now?”

  “Get off your pedestal, princess,” Adam said. “We came here for breakfast.”

  “Take it easy, Adam,” Jeff said as he turned to his brother. “Autumn isn’t at fault here.”

  “Neither are you,” Adam answered, “so stop being a doormat.” He was louder than he needed to be in the confined space of the café, and it didn’t go unnoticed.

  Herbert came out of the kitchen, carrying a meat cleaver. “Is there a problem, folks?”

  Jeff was about to say something when Adam intervened. “Go back into the kitchen, Cookie, and leave this to the adults.”

  That was clearly not the way to approach the short-order cook. He took three steps forward until he was in Adam’s face. “You need to go.”

  “Why would we do that?” Adam asked, stepping back a bit. He was obviously not used to being confronted by the person he was attacking, and it clearly unsettled him.

  “Because I said so,” Herbert said firmly, patting the back of the cleaver into his other hand.

  “I want to see the owner,” Adam demanded.

  “Sorry. He’s not here,” Herbert answered.

  “Come on, Adam. Let’s go,” Jeff said as he tugged at his brother’s arm.

  The aggressive brother put on a show of considering it when Herbert took one more step forward. As Adam turned to go, he looked at us icily. “This isn’t over, Autumn.”

  “Is that a threat?” she asked him.

  “No, it’s a promise,” the brother answered.

  That was enough for Herbert. “Okay, I’ve asked you nicely. Now I’m throwing you out.”

  That was all that it took.

  The brothers left the café quickly, and Autumn turned to Herbert and kissed his cheek lightly, causing the cook to blush. “Thanks for the intention, but next time, I’ll fight my own battles, if it’s all the same to you. Understand?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Herbert said. Autumn had admonished him with kindness, and I wished that I had the same gift for dealing with people that she clearly had.

  Once we paid our tab, we were back out onto the street in front of the café again. “What should we do now?” Autumn asked me when I heard someone calling her name.

  It was Lee, and he looked a bit agitated as we approached him.

  “What just happened?” Lee asked us as he joined us.

  “What do you mean?” I asked in return, though I had a hunch what he was talking about.

  “I just ran into Jeff and Adam. Your husband looked angry, but I could swear Adam looked scared to death. What did you two do to that man?”

  “It wasn’t us. It was Herbert,” Autumn explained.

  After she told him what had happened, he nodded. “Some folks take Herbert’s generally genial nature as a sign of softness, but I’ve seen him get angry twice before in my life, and he almost became unrecognizable.” He added softly, “He must really like you.”

  “I’m sure he was just stepping in to keep peace in the diner,” Autumn said.

  “I kind of doubt that,” Lee said, clearly a little troubled by the thought of having such formidable competition for Autumn’s interest.

  “What are you up to this morning?” I asked him.

  Lee looked downright embarrassed by the question. “I’m doing some work for Mrs. Marbury,” he finally admitted. “I had to pick up some stuff at the hardware store, and I’m going back there later.”

  “Lee, you don’t have to apologize to me for that. I know you get a lot of your income from working for the family. What does she have you doing at her house this time?”

  “That’s the thing,” Lee admitted. “It isn’t at her place. It’s at yours.”

  “At mine? Why is she having work done there?” Autumn asked him.

  I could tell that it pained him to tell her, but he clearly didn’t believe that he had any real choice. “I’m supposed to change all of the locks. In a few hours you’re going to be locked out of your own house, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  Chapter 10

  “WE’LL JUST SEE ABOUT that,” Autumn said. “Come on, Suzanne. We’re going to pay my mother-in-law a little visit.”

  “She’s not at her place,” Lee offered. “When I left her a few hours ag
o, she was at yours.”

  “Thanks for the tip,” Autumn said.

  “Listen, you don’t need all of this drama in your life. Why don’t you let me take care of you?” Lee asked. There was a great deal implied with the question, and Autumn knew it.

  “You know that I’m still married.”

  “I don’t care,” he said.

  “Well, I do.”

  As Autumn drove us to her old home, I asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do not,” she answered in such a way that I knew to drop it immediately.

  “Are you sure you want to do this right now?” I asked her. “You’re clearly upset, and I’d hate for you to say anything that you might regret later.”

  “There’s not a chance of that happening,” Autumn said. “This has been long overdue ever since Adam came back. Cecile and I are going to have it out once and for all. One way or the other, I’m going to get things settled between us.”

  “Okay. I’ve got your back,” I said.

  “I know you do,” she said.

  The juxtaposition of the stately manor Autumn had left in order to live in her modest cottage in the woods was pretty dramatic. Everything at the estate was perfect, down to the slightest detail. Towering above the valley, the property took up most of the top of the hill, with panoramic views all around. Acres of grass were meticulously mowed, and the landscaping alone had to cost more than my entire net worth, including the deed to the cottage I shared with Jake. Six massive stone columns held up the front portico, making it look as though it belonged more in Rome than in the mountains of North Carolina. I knew the interior was just as special as the exterior, but there was another difference between this place and Autumn’s new cottage, at least if it had stayed the same since the last time I’d seen it. While Autumn had made a home for herself in the woods, a comfortable and cozy place that was warm and welcoming, the house her husband had bought for her resembled a museum more than it did a home to live in and to love in. I supposed that it was a fine enough place to visit, but I couldn’t ever imagine actually trying to live there.

  “Let’s do this,” I said as I opened my door.

  Autumn put a hand on my arm, stopping me. “Suzanne, do you mind waiting in the car? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need to do this by myself.”

  “I completely understand,” I said as I settled back down into my seat. “I’ll just hang around here and wait for you.”

  “I appreciate that,” Autumn said. “I shouldn’t be too long. This is probably going to be a pretty short conversation.”

  “Just yell if you need me,” I said.

  I watched her walk up to the front door, ring the bell, check the door handle, and then take out her key. Cecile might be changing the locks in an hour, but for now, Autumn could still get into her own home, whether her mother-in-law was in favor of the idea or not.

  Autumn glanced back once at me, waved slightly, then took a deep breath and walked inside.

  There was nothing I could do for her at the moment, so I took out my cell phone and decided to call Jake.

  “How’s it going?” I asked him.

  “We’re getting close to finishing up the demo,” Jake answered. Though it was still fairly early in the day, he sounded tired to me.

  “You’re not working too hard, are you?” I asked him.

  “No, I believe that I’m working just the right amount of hard,” he said with a gentle laugh.

  “I’m serious. You’re not twenty years old anymore.”

  “Suzanne, we both know that I haven’t been in my twenties in a very long time.”

  “It wasn’t that long ago,” I protested.

  “Make up your mind, woman. Am I a young pup or an old goat?”

  “Let’s say somewhere in between,” I answered.

  “Are you trying to give me nightmares?” he asked with a laugh. “How are things going there?”

  “Tense,” I admitted. “Even as we speak, Autumn is inside her former home, having what is probably going to be a heated conversation with her mother-in-law.”

  “How did you get left out of that particular chat?” Jake asked me.

  “It didn’t involve me,” I said.

  “That hasn’t necessarily stopped you in the past. Did you offer to bow out, or were you asked to?” Jake probed.

  “Okay, she decided it might be better if she went on her own, but I was going to offer anyway,” I said. Though that wasn’t entirely true, I hoped that I would have, given the chance.

  He was about to say something when my phone beeped and I saw that Momma was calling me. “My mother’s calling. I’ve got to go.”

  “Let me know what happens,” he asked.

  I switched to Momma’s call. “Hey, Momma. How’s Phillip doing?”

  “He wants to go home,” she said.

  “I thought that was the plan all along.”

  “It is, but it’s going to take a few hours for the discharge to go through, and he’s ready to leave right now. He’s threatening to break out of the place if someone doesn’t check us out soon.”

  “Does that mean that he’s doing okay?” I asked.

  “It’s about what we expected. The surgery wasn’t a day at the beach. He’s tired, sore, and irritable, none of which I can blame him for. Getting old is not for sissies, Suzanne.”

  “So you’ve told me,” I said. “Give him my love, will you?”

  That seemed to touch her heart, and her voice reflected it. “You’re a fine daughter, Suzanne. Have I told you that lately?”

  “Yes, but I can never hear it enough,” I answered. “Keep me posted.”

  “I will,” I said as I heard Phillip yell in the background, “If someone doesn’t bring me my pants, and I mean right now, I’m walking out of here in this poor excuse for a hospital gown.”

  “I’ve got to go,” Momma said, and before I could answer in kind, she hung up.

  I got Jake back on the line. “Hey, it’s me again.”

  “Long time no hear,” he said. “I was just about ready to get back to work. The mayor’s a terrible boss, at least when it comes to construction.”

  In the background I heard him say, “I heard that!”

  “Good,” Jake answered with a laugh. “How’s Phillip doing?” he asked.

  “Tired, sore, and irritated, according to Momma,” I replied.

  “That sounds about right. Listen, I’d better get back to work. Thanks for calling.”

  “You bet,” I said.

  I waited ten more minutes, and finally I couldn’t take it a second longer. I left the car and walked up toward the front door.

  And that’s when I heard Autumn scream.

  Chapter 11

  “AUTUMN? WHAT’S GOING on? Are you all right?” I asked as I rushed toward the sound. The house was too big to do a quick search, but at least I had the sound of her voice to go by. “Where are you?”

  “In the pantry off the kitchen,” she said, her voice filled with sobs. “Suzanne, come quick.”

  The pantry was more like a room of its own, its shelves lined with enough food to see the occupants through the worst of storms, but that wasn’t what drew my attention as I burst in.

  Autumn was kneeling beside the body of her mother-in-law.

  Someone had bludgeoned the matriarch with a heavy marble rolling pin, based on the spread of blood from the back of the woman’s head and her inert form.

  The worst thing of all was the fact that the rolling pin in question was now firmly gripped in Autumn’s right hand.

  As I checked the older woman for a pulse I was sure I wasn’t going to find, I asked my friend, “Autumn, what happened?”

  “I have no idea,” she said, staring numbly at the body.

  “Why are you holding that?” I asked her.

  “What? This? It was lying on the floor beside her. I’m not sure why I picked it up.” She stared at me a second before adding, “Suzanne, I didn’t do this! When
I got here, she was already dead.”

  “You were gone a long time,” I reminded her.

  “This is a big house,” she snapped at me. “It wasn’t as though she could answer me when I called out to her.”

  Not only was there no pulse, but Cecile’s skin was cool to the touch. Whoever had killed her had done it well before we’d arrived, no matter how the scene looked at the moment.

  “We have to call the police,” I said. “And I mean right now.”

  “Should I put this down?” she asked as she gestured with the rolling pin. “Oh no. My fingerprints are on it now. That was so stupid of me to pick it up.” She reached for a nearby dishtowel. “Should I wipe it off?”

  “No,” I said as I stopped her.

  “But they’re going to think I did it,” she protested as I took the dishtowel, gently removed the murder weapon from her grip, and placed it on the counter.

  “There’s nothing we can do about that now, but we can’t wipe it down.”

  “Why not?” Autumn asked.

  “Because yours might not be the only prints on it,” I said as calmly as I could muster.

  I grabbed my phone and called 9-1-1.

  When a young man answered, I said, “I need to speak to your chief of police immediately.”

  “Is this an emergency?” the man asked.

  I glanced at Cecile’s body and knew that she was well past the emergency stage, but that didn’t mean that I wanted to be transferred to the business desk, either. “Yes. Get him now.”

  “I’ll need some information from you first,” the man said officiously.

  “Take my advice. Get your chief on the line. You don’t want to mess with this,” I said.

  There must have been something in my voice that told him I wasn’t kidding around. The next voice I heard belonged to an older woman. “This is Chief Samantha Seaborne,” she said. “What is this about?”

  “Cecile Marbury has been murdered at her son Jeff’s home. I am here with Autumn Marbury, the deceased’s daughter-in-law. Please come quickly.”

  “Don’t touch a thing,” she said before starting to hang up.

  “I’m afraid it’s too late for that,” I said quickly.

  That got her attention. “Talk to me.”