Feathermore

by Lucy Swing

Claire laid the boxes over the small bar that separated the kitchen from the dining room. The smell of the steamy pizzas must have reached the living room, because Nate wandered over. Avan’s head peeked from behind the wall. Oh, great.

  However exciting my afternoon had been, and as mad as I was at him, to see him was still amazing. I tried to look casual, nonchalant, but the boy could sure take my breath away—I literally had forgotten to breathe since he walked into the kitchen and closed the space between us. Nate grabbed two slices and walked out, followed by Claire.

  Avan sat on the bar stool next to me. “I’m sorry if my being here upsets you,” he said.

  It didn’t. I needed him, but I couldn’t have him expecting me to be who I was before. There was no turning back from this new life.

  “No, it’s fine.” I pulled a slice onto my plate and moved away, using the excuse of looking for a cup.

  “Jade, why don’t you tell me what is going on?” he said, giving me that look always seemed to melt me inside. “I want to help you through whatever it is you’re going through. If you’re depressed or whatever, please, let me be there for you.”

  He was making it nearly impossible to stay mad and to stay away from him. “It’s—it’s complicated,” I mumbled. “Maybe one day I’ll be able to explain it.” I was walking past him on my way to the living room when he grabbed my arm and pulled me into him, almost sending pepperoni pizza upside down onto the floor. I looked up at him, wondering what had made him do such a thing, when he kissed me. It was hard and passionate and wonderful. A pair of green eyes appeared in my mind, and I pushed him away.

  When he let me go and I gathered my wits, I walked away. What was I doing!

  We all sat on the couch watching the football game, with Nate and Avan screaming at the top of their lungs, telling the players to throw the ball or run or tackle or block. They looked like two madmen. Claire was absorbed in a gossip magazine, and I was lost in thought. Blake. How could I be feeling this way, whatever this was? Blake was a mere figment of my imagination, someone I had created in my dreams, yet I felt as if I needed him in order to survive. When the game was over I walked Avan to the door. It was the least I could do. After he repeated his plea to let him help me through whatever I was going through, all I could do was nod and smile as I watched him walk out to his car. After seeing him off the driveway, I closed the door and headed back to the kitchen to grab some more pizza. All that exercise in the afternoon had left a void in my stomach.

  Nate and Claire were already there. In no mood for pleasantries, I went in for what I wanted to know, something that kept nagging at me. If I was ever going to be with Avan, I needed to know this.

  I blurted, “How can I be with Avan?”

  Both of them looked at me. It took them a few seconds to gather themselves up, and eventually, Nate answered, “Well, you can’t. You are a pure angel, and so being with him would make you fall—and could kill him in the process.”

  “What!” I was not expecting that last part. “What do you mean, kill him?”

  “You’re a portal, Jade. A portal to heaven. It could happen that you may transport him there, and there is no turning back.”

  “How can I not transport him?”

  “I’m sorry, honey,” said Claire. “There is no way. He is a mortal, and you are not to be mixed with him. We should have made sure he didn’t come into your life. You and he just cannot happen.”

  “There’s nothing else that can be done?” Finally realizing how much it bothered me being told I couldn’t be with him, it made me realize just how much I wanted to be with him. I wouldn’t accept it. I shoved half the pizza slice in my mouth.

  “Well, there is something else, but . . .” He looked over at Claire, who looked as though she was about to kill him. Her hands were gripping the countertop so hard, her knuckles were white.

  “There is nothing else, Nate.” Her words were loud and final, full of foreboding.

  But Nate pressed on. “Some angels have discovered a way to be physical with the being they desire,” he said, defying Claire with this tidbit of information.

  “‘Being’? You make it sound like you’re talking about an alien or something. You mean human?” He had my full attention now.

  “Angels who fell in love, like you did with a mortal, came to find out that by sharing their divinity with that mortal, they would be able to be together, but they both would have forever turned their back on heaven.”

  He had my complete attention. “But I would still fall.” I thought about it for a moment. If he could stay alive, I didn’t care. “How do I do it?”

  “It’s sort of like sucking blood and gaining immortality. Here is where the myth of vampires was created. They only need to share divinity one time and then they become immortal, as we are. The whole ‘needing blood to live’ thing was a scam from the very beginning.” That last part caught me off guard. I guess I never realized that we were not only angels but immortal as well.

  Claire came over to me in her lightning-speed mode and was inches away from me when she spoke. “I really hope you are not thinking of doing anything of the sort, Jade, because trust me when I say, it will end very badly for you.” She hissed the words at me and then added, “And even worse for him.” And in a blur, she was gone and her bedroom door slammed.

  I faced Nate and whispered, “What the hell?” unsure what had taken her over.

  Nate looked as if he was going to be sick, and I couldn’t help feeling a little guilty. I had made him say something Claire obviously didn’t want me to know, and now he would have to pay for it.

  “I’m sorry, Nate,” I said. “I just wanted to know. I need to have all the facts so I can make informed decisions. I’m new to all of this. You guys have been around for six hundred years, but I was pretty much just created.” I walked over to the freezer and dropped a few ice cubes in my cup, then slowly poured the root beer.

  “Four hundred and sixty-three,” he said, looking down at his hands.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’m not six hundred years old; I’m four hundred and sixty-three. Claire was created before me.”

  “Oh, sorry. I thought she said your kind was created in pairs, as mates.”

  “We are. It’s a long story, and you should get some sleep.” He started toward their room. “Have a good night, okay?”

  If they weren’t created together, did it mean she was created with a different mate? So why was she with Nate, then? I wasn’t sure what all this meant, and I was too tired to try to figure it out.

  Not feeling like driving home, I projected myself there and went up to my room. I froze in front of the door to my parents’ room. It was closed. My heartfelt constricted as I felt the tears well up. I took a step closer and rested my hand on the knob. I wasn’t ready to face those ghosts, to face the life they left behind.

  I looked at the alarm clock, glowing green atop my nightstand. I pulled my cell phone from my purse and, deciding to get over myself, sent him a text: