Feathermore

by Lucy Swing

  * * *

  I walked outside to the backyard, where I saw Daddy standing next to the big barbecue grill. Mom was kneeling in the dirt, planting a bed of her lovely painted trilliums. The sun was out, with not a cloud in the sky, and there was no other noise except for the grill sizzling and a rather boisterous finch chirping in the maple tree. I walked slowly, not wanting to make a sound, afraid I would disturb the scene in this dream of mine and it all would go away. I just wanted to be able to appreciate them doing something as simple as gardening and barbecuing, since in real life I would never see them do anything ever again. I sat on the top step of the deck and rested my elbows on my knees. I cradled my face in my hands and watched them. The trees were dancing in the gentle breeze that came from the woods. Dad turned around and started in my direction, looking at Mom and asking if she would like a little more sangria. Then he looked up and saw me, although, by the look on his face, he looked as if he had seen a ghost rather than his own daughter. He stopped in his tracks and gasped, letting go of the metal tongs he had been carrying in his hand. They made a loud clattering noise as they hit the round white stepping-stones.

  Mom turned around at the commotion and went pale. I looked behind me. Surely they wouldn’t look this way because of me, right? I stood up and took a couple of steps down toward the yard.

  “What’s wrong?” I said. “You guys look as if you just saw a ghost!” I giggled, mostly because I was feeling rather uncomfortable at the way they were staring at me. Neither of them said a word. Mom went over to Dad, who put his arms around her in a protective way. A tear started rolling down her cheek. “What’s wrong, Mom?” I asked, and moved toward her. They stiffened, so I stopped.

  “You’re not supposed to be here,” Mom said. “Why are you here, Jade?” Her voice sounded worried, as if I were doing something illegal by dreaming about them.

  “It’s just a dream,” I said. “I’m dreaming about you because I miss you both so much.” I ran toward them, not even caring that they actually took a few steps back. I kept right on going and hugged them both. The tears had started, and I just wanted to be with them, even if it was in a stupid dream.

  I felt their shaky arms embrace me, their scents filling up my lungs with lovely memories of happier days.

  “You are not supposed to be here, princess,” Dad said, kissing the top of my head.

  I shook off his words. It was my dream, and I could do whatever I wanted in it. As if he heard what I was thinking, he continued, “It is not a dream and you really need to go before they find out.” I pulled away this time, drying my tears with the sleeve of my shirt. What was he talking about? I glanced at Mom, hoping to get a different reading from her, but I didn’t. She put her hands on my face and kissed my forehead.

  “You need to go back now,” she said. “You can’t stay here too long, or you will never find your way back home, honey.”

  I closed my eyes. More tears came, making everything look blurry. “What are you talking about?” I said. “This is my dream and I can stay here as long as I want to, Mom. I don’t want to leave. I miss you.” I could barely understand myself through all the sobs.

  Hearing a faint chime in the distance, I looked over to the thick woods to make sense of the music.

  “It’s time to go now, princess.”

  I didn’t want to. They held my hands and smiled as the forest behind them started to fade, and gradually they, too, began to grow indistinct. I held their hands even tighter, as if that would keep them with me, but now there was only darkness. It had no beginning and no end. Darkness all around me, until it was both me and the familiar chime in the background.

  I leaned over and turned off the alarm, quickly sliding my arm back under the covers, for it was still strangely cold in the room. I looked at the window, and to my surprise, it was open again.

  I went over to it and closed it, pressing the latch even harder. From here I could see Claire’s car in the driveway. I called after her, expecting her to be somewhere in the house, but no response came. I went straight into the bathroom for a morning shower I didn’t feel like taking.

  The last day of school before winter break was a joke and had been for the past three years. We never got around doing any schoolwork, since the teachers seemed more excited by the prospect of two weeks’ freedom than any of the students did. Ms. Nash hadn’t even shown up for lit class and was probably already in a city far away, enjoying one of those pink drinks she liked to talk about. The cafeteria was rather empty, as many had skipped school or left early, ready to start the partying.

  Avan and I were sitting on the same side of the table, facing each other with our legs on either side of the bench. Mine rested on top of his as we talked about tomorrow and the rest of the week in the mountains. Here and there, whenever Miss Fern wasn’t looking, I stole a quick kiss from him. She had once seen us by the lockers, lost in a long, lingering kiss, and interrupted it by clearing her throat and serving us with detention slips. She said how inappropriate it was and how disrespectful of the other students. Of course, nobody really cared about it except maybe for Amy, but that only made it that much sweeter.

  “Have you seen Amy today?” I asked Avan, looking around the cafeteria.

  He thought about it a moment and said, “To be honest, I haven’t seen her in a few days.”

  Another one of Lilith’s victims? I doubted it—if she had gone missing or had been found murdered, it would have been the talk of the school.

  Claire and Nate had skipped school today to get all our things ready for tomorrow, pretending to go into town to “buy” warmer clothes, food, sleeping bags, and some board games and DVDs. We had allowed Avan to pay for gas on this trip since everything else was taken care of, even though we hadn’t had to spend a dime. Still, it went well with the rest of the charade.

  “I need to drop my mom off at the airport by six,” he said, “so I was thinking of maybe coming to get you after. We could grab some dinner in town? Maybe catch a movie?” His face was inches away from mine, and with every word he spoke I could feel his warm breath caress my face.

  “Sure. Sounds like a plan,” I said, feeling almost out of breath, drawing even closer to him and running my hand through his wild, dark hair. I was about to kiss him when we were interrupted.

  “Avan!” That grating high-pitched voice meant she hadn’t been a victim of Lilith’s wrath after all. She looked at him, pretending that I didn’t even exist.

  “I’m throwing the party of the year at my house, and you should totally come,” she said. “Its gonna be fabulous!”

  She kept looking at him as if the appropriate response would be for him to jump up and down with joy. But he simply grabbed the green flyer she was handing out, and set it on the table.

  “Awesome,” she said. “I can’t wait to see you there! It starts at seven.” She flipped her hair in that annoying way she had perfected, and strutted over to the next table.

  Avan crumpled the flier into a ball and tossed it into the garbage can that was almost ten feet away, nailing it.