Feathermore

by Lucy Swing

  * * *

  By the time we all made it back to the cabin it was night, and there was a peculiar darkness around the forest. Maybe I hadn’t picked out the best spot after all. An eerie white fog covered the ground, hugging the tree trunks and hiding the steps to the cabin. As everyone wandered off to choose rooms and check out the place, I looked out the window by the front door. The ravens were waiting faithfully in the big bare tree across the clearing. The eagles had come over to the veranda and were perched on the railings on either side of front porch steps.

  I saw Avan’s approaching reflection in the window glass. In his mind, nothing had changed. He couldn’t see the choice he had unknowingly made yesterday. He wrapped his arms around me, and his hands slid all the way to my belly button, where his fingers intertwined and pulled me back against him. I didn’t fight it. I let him believe that everything was okay. It was late. I had been flying for quite some time, and the warmth of his body acted almost like a sedative. He crouched and put his left arm on the back of my knees and picked me up.

  Just then Claire and Nate were walking in with a box in their hands. “I got a board game,” Claire said, shaking it in front of us.

  “Jade’s tired,” Avan said. “I think we’re just going to call it a night.” He looked at me, waiting to see if he had spoken too soon, but it was true: I was beat.

  It took me about four tries to manifest the mattress that felt just right. By the time Avan got done with his shower, my show of magic was over. We stayed up for a little bit, talking about nothing at all, and as the yawns kept creeping up on me, he leaned over for a kiss. That one simple movement alone made my whole body wake up—he had fully charged me.

  My hand sought the back of his head, my fingers curling and twining themselves in his hair as I pulled him closer. His weight shifted, and I pulled him on top of me. I expected him to put on the brakes as he had been doing lately, but he didn’t. In fact, he kissed me even more passionately as one of his hands cradled my face and the other slid down onto my leg.

  Everything became hazy as his hand slid around my thigh and then went to my hips, pressing me against him. The excitement was making my wings start tingling, wanting to push their way through, but I couldn’t allow it, not when Lilith would be able to find us so easily.

  I slowly pulled away from him. “I—I’m sorry,” I said.

  He was still hovering above me when he tilted his head and kissed my forehead. He had been hoping for a different outcome. I wished for it, too, but I couldn’t do it, not until he accepted what I was.

  Unlike last night, sleep came easily. I curled up on the bed with my back against him, and he lay wrapped around me, his breath on the back of my neck sending shivers through my body.