by Simon Winder
Also by Simon Winder
The Man Who Saved Britain
Danubia
Germania
AS EDITOR
Night Thoughts
Sea Longing
The Feast
‘My Name’s Bond…’
A NOTE ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Simon Winder is the author of Germania, Danubia, and The Man Who Saved Britain. He works in publishing and lives in Wandsworth Town, London. You can sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Epigraph
Maps
Introduction
A note on myself and France » A note on place names
Chapter One
Ice-sheets to Asterix » The warlord » Bees and buckles » The rule of the saints » Rhinegold » The call of the oliphant
Chapter Two
The split inheritance » Margraves, landgraves, dukes and counts » Imperial grandeur and decay » Boulogne boy makes good » The Cistercians
Chapter Three
The Sibyl of the Rhine » Some nuts and bolts » Stories of Wolf Inngrim » Street scenes » Amiens Cathedral and its aftermath » Famine, plague and flood » The bold and the mad
Chapter Four
The fearless and the good » Prayer nuts » A word of advice from Mehmet the Conqueror » Poor local decision-making » The bold and the Swiss
Chapter Five
The great inheritance » Mary the Rich and the future of the world » New management at Hawk Castle » ‘Beware, beware, God sees!’ » Uses for paper
Chapter Six
The New World » Margaret of Austria » The life and adventures of Charles V » The Oranges » Rebellion » The Catholic case
Chapter Seven
The sufferings of Lady Belge » Life in ‘the garden’ » Birds, beasts and flowers » Croissants of crisis » Whitewash and clear glass
Chapter Eight
‘A harvest of joys’ » Fencers and soap-boilers » Elizabeth and her children » Uncle Toby’s hobby-horse » ‘Too late to be ambitious’
Chapter Nine
Nancy and Lorraine » Rebuilding the Rhine » Sperm by candlelight » Gilt and beshit » Adventures in tiny states » In the time of the periwigs
Chapter Ten
Heroic and ominous » ‘The old times have gone’ » The great French gingerbread-baker » Armies of the Ocean Coast » Europe reordered » ‘What is there to fear if you are a slave?’
Chapter Eleven
Strange happenings underground » The New Rhine » The Translation Bureau of Barbarian Books » Baden in turmoil » A Newfoundland dog in Luzern » Grand Duchies, Empires and Kingdoms
Chapter Twelve
Kilometre pigs » French exiles » Metz and the nationalist frontline » Expanses of baize » Bullets, tusks and rubber » Rays and masks
Chapter Thirteen
‘Barracks, barracks, barracks’ » War plans » The Battle of the Frontiers » Kilomètre 0 » Red, yellow and blue » Shame on the Rhine
Chapter Fourteen
Dreams of Corfu » Walls and bridges » The Kingdom of Mattresses » The road to Strasbourg » Armageddon » Charlemagne comes home
Postscript
Notes
Acknowledgements
Bibliography
Index
Illustration Credits
Also by Simon Winder
A Note About the Author
Copyright
Farrar, Straus and Giroux
175 Varick Street, New York 10014
Copyright © 2019 by Simon Winder
All rights reserved
Originally published in 2019 by Picador, an imprint of Pan Macmillan, Great Britain
Published in the United States by Farrar, Straus and Giroux
First American edition, 2019
Maps by Global Blended Learning
Owing to limitations of space, illustration credits can be found at the back of the book.
E-book ISBN: 978-0-374-71461-1
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