Healing Him

by Laura N Andrews

  There’s something in Ryan’s eyes that tells me he’s at war with himself. It doesn’t seem like he’s just processing the information. More as if the very information might be a hard limit for him. After hearing what I had to say, he’s conflicted, and I have my suspicions as to why. He looks away, eyes focused on the floor as he speaks slowly. “Your dad. Your dad was abusive.”

  I sigh and push forward to place my glass on the table. “Towards my mum, yeah. He bullied me and Trey, but it was only verbal.” He doesn’t say anything for a few moments, so I try to lighten the mood. “I’m real glad Mum met Steven. It was the best thing that could’ve happened. Mum met someone special, while Trey and I gained another brother in Trav, and a dad in Steven.”

  Shaking his head, as if ridding himself of his thoughts, Ryan smiles and meets my eyes. “I’m glad. My parents were high school sweethearts,” he offers.

  Over the next hour, we drink and conversation flows. However, the mood isn’t the same after the conversation about my father. I know in my heart Ryan’s ex betrayed his trust and hurt him. And after experiencing that? Yeah, I’d be hesitant to hand over control in any other relationship I enter into. Even if he never bottoms for me, we need to set the ground rules when it comes to my dominance. Being a Dominant is who I am. I was willing to try and put aside those needs in order to find love, but I can’t deny who I am or who Ryan is. Because Ryan also needs to accept and embrace who he is again. I just hope he’s willing to try, not for me, but for himself.

  As we’re making out on his couch, he draws back. “Hey, where’d you go?”

  I smile. “Just thinking.”

  “Oh.” He withdraws, and I want to pull him back, but I don’t. He bites his lip, and asks, “Is everything okay? Did you want to go?”

  “No. I just….” I want you to know I’m not my father.

  “Henry?” He stares at me with those chocolate eyes simmering with heat.

  “Yeah?”

  His voice comes out with sexy huskiness. “I don’t think you have any idea what you do to me, Bromley. Clearly, we’re not exactly what we were looking for. I was terrified of being with another Dom ever again. But I’m learning to trust you. It’s surprisingly easy. Refreshing, really, to know I can trust you already. And I want to please you so much. You have a power over me I can’t ignore.” He nibbles my lobe, and whispers softly, “Just don’t abuse it, okay?”

  “Never.” My voice is strong as I gaze into his eyes. “I’ll never hurt you.”

  He nods and shifts his gaze to my lips. Cradling his head in my hands, I kiss him. My tongue demands entrance and slides between his lips. He relinquishes all control to me. After a few moments, I break away. “You have a beautiful body, Ryan. I’d like to worship it. I’ll be in your bedroom in a few minutes, and I want you lying on your bed.”

  Ryan jumps off the couch. “Yes, Sir.”

  * * *

  I’ve worshipped bodies before.

  All men, of course, and generally all with the same type of body shape. My subs are usually lean, shorter, and delicate. So to have a big, hot, muscular man before me to worship is surreal. It’s a completely different playing field, and I’m finding I like it. A lot. On his bed, kneeling between his legs and looking down at him, it feels right. My previous subs have told me there’s a euphoric sense of freedom and weightlessness when you give your lover the reigns. I see it now in Ryan’s eyes. As I peel off his clothes and caress his skin with my fingers, he turns into a puddle of goo, revelling in my slow exploration of his body. The way my eyes follow the movements of my hands, lips, and tongue, one would think he’s the ultimate treasure chest and me the desperate pirate. The level of desire in his eyes and body language shows me how much he wants me.

  “Henry,” he whispers. He starts to raise his arms, but I press them down into the mattress.

  “Don’t move them,” I say.

  Ryan smiles up at me. “Yes, Sir.”

  I spend a while teasing his skin all over, and his cock becomes harder and harder. Precum leaks out. He gasps when I take him in hand with a firm grip and some lube, stroking him languidly. Sitting on my heels and spreading my thighs, I encourage him to wrap his legs loosely around me. I squirt some lube on my own cock. Hands on the mattress on either side of him, I hover above him, nudging our cocks together. After a while, I lean down. He moans as I cover his mouth with mine. Pulling his tongue into my mouth, I suck on it. With one hand fisting his hair and the other holding his hip, I pull him close.

  “Do you like this, boy?” I whisper into his mouth. “Like when I take control?”

  Ryan pants. “Yes, Sir.”

  “You’re mine.” Without thinking about how he’ll take my possessive tone, I watch for his reaction.

  He shudders and nods again. “Yes, Sir. Please. I… I need to come.”

  “You don’t have the control here, Ryan. I’ll do what I please, when I please.”

  There’s frustration in his eyes before he breathes deep and slow. “Yes, Sir.”

  Taking my time, I rock into him as my fingers knot in his hair and my lips suck on his neck. He hasn’t moved his hands. The sensation of our cocks rubbing together now becomes a heightened intensity. The need for release is almost too much. But he needs to come first. Sitting up with one hand on his chest and the other grasping his cock, I jerk him off hard and fast. Ryan gasps and his body shakes. “Yes… yes.”

  Moving my other hand down to his balls, I play with them as Ryan’s hands grip onto his sheet. He’s beautiful like this. Giving me permission to take, demand, and control. “Come.”

  Ryan groans and his body obeys my command, squirting all over himself. After making sure I’ve milked him dry, I murmur, “Good boy,” before doing the same to myself. The sight of Ryan beneath me with cum on his belly and a spent cock tips me over the edge. I come hard, our juices mixing together on his skin. Ryan moans when I slide my finger through the beautiful mess and collect a few drops. Falling forward until our bodies are lined up and pressed together, I lean on one elbow and move my finger to his lips. He takes it into his mouth, sucking on my finger with enthusiasm as he tastes us together. “Mm, very good boy.”

  He sighs. “Thank you, Sir.”

  Pushing his hair back from his face, I take his lips in a slow, sweet kiss. Twining our hands together on either side of him, I stare into his eyes. “I like you.”

  Ryan’s eyes widen before he gives me a small smile. “I like you, too.”

  Chapter Seven

  Sunday morning, Ryan’s making me Vegemite toast and a coffee. Probably my two favourite things in the morning. Aside from waking him up with a blowjob. Even better was the one he gave me when I demanded it. Ryan’s becoming more confident and comfortable with me, and I know it’s because he’s able to express his submissive side. He clearly enjoys obeying me, and as he’s serving our breakfast, he’s happy . His smile is wide and the tense control he seemed to have over himself the first time we met is gone. It makes me hopeful that we can really work together.

  When I can, I take a better look around his lounge room. There’s a small desk away from the couch and TV. It’s positioned beneath a window, and there’s a laptop on it. Beside it are sheets and sheets of paper. There are notes all over them and what seems to be a brainstorming chart with names. Above the chart are the words, “Untitled, Book 2.”

  As we sit at his table to eat, I gesture to the desk with my thumb. “You like to write?” He hesitates and guilt hits me. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snoop—”

  Ryan interrupts me. “No, it’s fine. I… yeah. I’m not any good, but I enjoy writing.”

  “Well, without looking at it, I can’t be one hundred percent certain, but I’m sure you’re good. Your notes are extensive. What’s the saying, organised chaos?” I smile when he does. “What do you write?”

  Ryan shrugs and takes a bite of his toast. “Romance, really, but this particular one at the moment is about vampires.”

  “Oh, like that Tw
ilight series?”

  He chuckles. “I guess. But my vampires don’t sparkle in the sun and the MCs are two guys.”

  “‘MCs?’”

  “Main characters.”

  I grin. “Ooh, a gay vampire. I like it.” Curling my fingers into claws, I put on a terrible accent. “I vant to suck your blud!”

  He chuckles. “I’ve just finished writing the first book. It’s actually… kind of cool. And when I’m writing, it’s like a movie for me, you know? It’s, well, I’m writing it as a trilogy.” Ryan’s adorable when he speaks of his writing. This is what he loves to do, and the passion in his voice is endearing.

  “That’s awesome,” I say. “So you’ll submit the first one soon? Who’ll you send it to?”

  “Oh no.” He shakes his head. “I don’t think I’ll ever submit it. I just enjoy writing, you know? So many ideas and thoughts in my head, I have to put them down or I’ll lose my mind.”

  “Have you ever let someone read them?”

  He shakes his head. “No way.”

  “Why?” I ask. As he shrugs self-consciously, I smile. “Well, if you ever want someone’s opinion without sending it to a publisher, I’d love to read it.”

  “You would?”

  It’s my turn to shrug. “Yeah. I mean, I’m not a huge reader, but I’ve been known to pick up a book every once in a while. And now you have me real curious about your story.”

  He bites his lip, anxious at the idea of having someone read it, especially me. “Maybe. It needs a lot of editing first. But maybe… someday.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  If writing books is what Ryan loves to do, I want to encourage him to do it. Although he doesn’t mind working as a clothes shop manager, I can easily see his love and drive belongs to writing.

  * * *

  Once I’m home, I change and look for my brother. Travis is already stretching, and it makes me grin. “I was just going to ask if you’re up for a run.”

  “Great minds, hey?”

  I make a sound of agreement and shove my feet into my runners. After a few stretches, we head outside. As we start to jog, I tell Travis the ad is up and running and hopefully we’ll get some hits. Maybe someone will ask to come by to have a look at our place.

  “Yeah. It’ll be interesting living with someone else. We’ve always lived together, you know? Us guys and Mum and Dad, and then just us guys. Now you and me. Still no word from Dakota?” Soon after giving birth to Travis, his mother left him and his dad, our dad, Steven. Ever since Steven got together with my mum, Travis has embraced her as his. I love him for that, the way he accepted me, Trey, and Mum. And Mum and Steven treat all three of us equally. I thank the big guy upstairs that they met every chance I get.

  I shake my head. “No, man. You know I’ll tell you if I hear from her.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he pants out.

  Making our way down to the Swan River and jogging along it, we match our steps. Sundays can be really busy with other joggers, cyclists, and walkers. Today is no different. “So,” Travis says. “This guy you’re seeing. Must be going all right. Two nights in a row.”

  “Ah, yeah. It’s going real well.” I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Ryan and our night together ever since I left his place.

  “I’m glad. You been in touch with Sean lately?”

  “No. Actually, I was going to message him. See if he wanted to see that action movie.”

  “Oh, yeah. Well if you wouldn’t mind me joining, I’d like to see it.”

  “Yeah, cool.”

  The thought of messaging Sean reminds me I also meant to message Kristy. She and Lindsay invited me over for dinner sometime this week. I make a mental note to message my friends when I get home and concentrate on freeing my mind and pumping my legs. Rare for April, it’s a beautiful Perth day and the temperature is high. There are boats out with people waterskiing and doing donuts, enjoying the last bit of sun before winter kicks in. The closer we get to Deep Water Point, the more noise and action there is. The café is busy as usual. Travis makes a gesture to head over. “I need a coffee. How ‘bout we get one and walk back?”

  “Sounds good.”

  It’s half past eleven by the time we get home. Unplugging my phone from the charger, I check for notifications. Besides an email and a few likes on my latest Instagram photo, there’re no messages. My brows pull together. As soon as I left Ryan’s, I messaged him saying I had a great night and was looking forward to next Sunday. I didn’t realise how much I was expecting a response until now. In the bathroom, I strip and check my emails. My heart races when I see one from Dakota.

  From: Dakota

  Date: Sunday, 2 April 2017 at 11:15:22 AWST

  To: henry_bromley89@hotmail.com

  Subject: Possible Venue!

  Find Attachments: photo1.jpg, photo2.jpg, photo3.jpg

  Hey, Henry!

  Please see the photos attached.

  I know how you guys want the venue to be close. This place has just come on the market and it’s also in Applecross! *Fist pump* haha. It’s 3,500 square feet.

  The price is a little over budget, but another great thing is, it’s already designed as a gym, because that’s what it was previously, thus, not much renovation needed at all.

  Show your brother, and let me know your thoughts and if you’d like to take a look sometime soon.

  Kind regards,

  Dakota Edwards

  Real Estate Agent

  Gibson and Son Agency

  Opening up the photos, I’m really impressed and instantly hooked. Dakota’s also sent me a link to look at it online. The price is a few grand over the budget, but like Dakota said, we won’t need much money for renovations. Sure, we’ll have to look at it and have the professionals check it out, but by the photos, it appears the place was looked after as well. Excitement has me chucking my shorts back on and running out to find my brother.

  “Trav!”

  “What?”

  “Dakota emailed. Come look!”

  Like a kid on Christmas Day, Travis grins widely and runs over to me. “Let’s see!” I read out the email and show him the photos. “We need to go check this out. Bro, this could be the one!”

  “I know.” Neither of us keeps our excitement at bay. “I really like it. The price is over, but besides that? The space, the location, the fact that it’s already decked out as a gym? They’re all really good signs!” A ping on my phone alerts me to another message. “Holy shit!”

  He glances up. “What?”

  “Another great sign,” I say. “People are starting to message me about the ad.”

  Travis claps his hands together with a wide grin. “Awesome! Okay, well, I’m gonna have a quick shower. Maybe email Dakota and ask her if we can check the place out this week?”

  I tilt my head. “We both finish at four on Wednesday. I’ll ask if we can see it afterwards.”

  “Okay, sweet!” He pats my shoulder.

  In my room, I type out a short reply to Dakota, telling her when we’re free to take a look. Less than two minutes later, she responds saying she’ll see us at half past four on Wednesday. I perform an actual fist pump in the air before replying with, Great, see you then. Just as I’m about to hop in my shower, I fire off a couple of texts, one to Sean and one to Kristy.

  Me: Hey, Sean, you want to see a movie for cheap Tuesday night? Trav and I are keen

  Me: Hey, hon, let me know when’s good for dinner this week. Tues and Wed are out, but besides that, I’m free x

  In the shower, I realise when we have people move in that Travis will have to share the other bathroom with them. But at least, if I’m not using it, he does have the option to use mine if he’s stuck and the other is taken. After the hot shower, my muscles feel nice and loose. On the counter, my phone’s light is flashing.

  Ryan: Me too. See you Sunday.

  Kristy: Hey, babes! Thursday can work for us. Come around 7? Xx


  Sean: Yeah sounds good! Count me in :)

  Disappointment hits me. I don’t know why, as technology leaves much to be desired when it comes to communication, but Ryan’s message feels cold. He’s probably being genuine, but something about it makes me feel unsure. I like Ryan, and already I find myself missing him. Last night was great, and the night before that was special. I still find it hard to believe I let him inside me. Ryan causes a yearning and passion I’ve never experienced. He has me starving for more. Is he thinking of me the way I think of him? Is he as excited as I am for Sunday?

  Trying to forget about it, I reply to the others and my week is sorted.

  Chapter Eight

  By Wednesday, I’m frustrated. I sent Ryan a Snapchat photo on Monday of me reading some documents at work, and at the bottom I’d typed, See, I can read! with a smiley face. Tuesday, I sent him a message asking how his day was going, and I still haven’t heard from him. Perhaps I’ve invested too much into us already; I don’t know. I’d just expected him to respond before now. It’s as though after the whole weekend, Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday breakfast, he’s closed me off. Now that the workweek has started, perhaps he wants to return to real life? I can’t help but think the worst. The idea he just hooked up with me to see if he could handle being with a Dom again hurts. I hope it’s just my imagination. Fuck knows why he’s giving me the silent treatment, but it has me feeling disgruntled. I’m not in the frame of mind I’d like to be in as Travis and I head to the property we may, in fact, buy for our gym.