Healing Him

by Laura N Andrews

  Striding over to him, I take his face in my hands and kiss him enthusiastically. There’s a few wolf whistles and cheers as I focus on him. On his lips. On his tongue. I need to show him every day how much he means to me. Sure, not every day will be perfect; there will be ups and downs, but this man makes me happy every day. Every day I have with him will be a blessing. He makes me so fucking happy. Pulling his head back, I whisper against his lips. “I love you, Ryan.”

  He gives me a pearly white smile. “I love you too, Henry.”

  “What say tonight we go out for dinner? Maybe see a movie?”

  “Mr Bromley,” he teases, leaning forward to kiss my cheek. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

  I chuckle. “Yes, I am.”

  “Well then, yes. I’d love to go out with you.” We kiss again, Ryan handing me the reins and letting me control it.

  “All right, lovebirds!” Travis says loudly. “If you wanna go out on your date, we still have work to do.”

  “Aw.” Dakota grins. “Leave them alone. They’re so cute.”

  Trav smiles, shakes his head, and gets back to work.

  “You know he’s right,” Ryan says.

  “Yeah.” I sigh and Ryan laughs. Pecking him once more, I break away and get stuck back into it.

  * * *

  On Monday, I’m waiting at home. It’s a quarter past five, and Ryan is due from work any minute. I give the place a tidy up and start work on dinner. When I’ve put the pastry, vegetables, and cheese all together, I put the vegetarian lasagne in the oven. Checking the time and seeing its six o’clock, I pick up my phone to call Ryan. It usually only takes him fifteen to twenty minutes from work and I’m worried. Even more so when he doesn’t answer. Ten minutes later, he walks through the door.

  I turn. “Hey, where were you?”

  Ryan reaches his hand to the back of his neck and sighs. “I got a phone call after work.” He looks exhausted as he throws his bag on the couch. “It was Ashley.”

  I step closer to him, a hand on his hip and the other his cheek. “The detective? What did she say?”

  “She asked me to come in to the station tomorrow to speak to the prosecutor for Luke’s trial. Said I’m to be in court to testify on Wednesday.”

  “Shit. Okay.” I give him a hug. “I’ll see if I can get someone to cover me for Wednesday, but I can’t get both days off. Not on my last week.” We move to sit at the table. “Will you be okay going tomorrow?”

  He nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be all right.”

  “I wish I could go with you. What about David?” When he shakes his head, I grip onto his hand. “Baby, it might be good for you to tell him. Besides me, it might help you to have your best friend know. I can’t say I know how it feels. But if something serious happened to me, although I might not like it, I’d tell some close people. It helps sometimes to get it out. Like, the more you talk about it, the less control it has over you.”

  Ryan nods slowly. “That’s how it felt when I told you. Like, I was setting free this dark secret that had clogged up my head so much. Like a weight fell from my shoulders.”

  I kiss the back of his hand. “And you know how David will react. He’ll be angry, upset, and confused. And, he may be hurt and upset you didn’t tell him earlier, but you just tell him you weren’t ready. Because, darling, as your best friend, maybe it’ll be good for you to speak about it to him. To have someone other than me know. You two are close, and this knowledge will only bring you closer.”

  He drops his head. “I’m embarrassed.”

  “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I know it’s hard, but switch it around. If David told you this about himself, should he feel embarrassed?”

  “No.”

  “Should he feel weak?”

  “No.”

  “Should you?”

  Ryan sighs. “No, Sir.”

  I hold his face and kiss his lips. “It’s completely up to you. But I’d feel better if you didn’t go alone. Or if not, we can meet up for lunch afterwards.”

  He thinks for a moment, before saying, “I’m going to tell him. I feel like I should tell him face-to-face, but… if he’s going to come with me tomorrow, he needs to know why. And… although I want to ask him not to tell Trey, I feel like he’ll need someone to talk to about it as well.”

  An idea forms inside my head. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. As long as it stops with the four of us, it’s okay.”

  “How about you call him? See if they can both come over for dinner?” I check the time. “I have lasagne in the oven. Dinner would be ready in twenty.”

  “Vegetarian?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yum.” Ryan stands and collects his phone. “Okay, I’ll call him.”

  A few minutes later, he tells me they’re on their way. “They were just about to order in, because they couldn’t be bothered cooking.”

  Pecking him on the cheek, I tell him to freshen up. “You’re sure?”

  “Yes, Sir.” After hugging me close, he heads for the shower.

  * * *

  David groans as he sits back into his chair. “Wow, Henry that was delicious.”

  Ryan places his hand on mine. “He’s right, baby. Was really good.”

  “You’ve outdone yourself,” my brother agrees.

  I tilt my beer bottle, finishing my drink with a sip. “Thanks, guys.”

  “So,” Ryan speaks up. “There’s a reason we asked you two over.” I turn our hands and grasp his firmly. “When we spoke on the phone, you said you’re not working tomorrow?” he asks David.

  Trey’s fiancé looks to my brother and myself before returning his focus to his best friend. “Yes.”

  “Okay, so, I have somewhere I need to go tomorrow, and I’m hoping you can come with me… for support.”

  Trey bites his lip. I can tell he wants to speak, but he holds himself back.

  “Of course,” David says.

  Ryan nods. “See, um… I don’t really know how to say this to you. And I’m telling the both of you, but no one else.”

  “Of course,” Trey repeats his fiancé’s words. “Whatever it is you’re about to tell us, doesn’t leave this room.”

  “Thank you.” Ryan lifts his head and meets David’s gaze. “The guy I was with, in Melbourne. Luke. He um… well. He… forced himself on me.” Trey gasps and David shakes his head. “See, I was… raped. But I didn’t know what to do. I had a friend over there though. I didn’t tell him everything but he knew some of it. He helped me out for a couple of weeks, and I’m thankful for that. But I was too scared to do anything else.” Ryan sighs. “He told me his name was Luke King. It turns out he’s done this to a few people.” He looks to David. “When I said we were seeing each other, we saw each other very rarely. Whenever he called, we’d meet up at a hotel room. I never heard from him again after the last time.”

  Both Trey and David are speechless, and Ryan looks to me. I clear my throat. “This happened almost a year ago now, but after we bumped into him at Travis’s birthday, we went to the police and made a complaint.”

  “It was that guy?” David asks. “The one you were talking to and he ran off?”

  Ryan replies, “Yes. To Lisa, he was known as Lucas Prince. We spoke to her briefly on the phone as we had to explain our behaviour. But all she knows is that he and I have a history. It must’ve spooked him when he saw us, because he hasn’t been in touch with her since.”

  “Wait.” David pushes his chair back and stands. We all watch silently as he paces. “He… he…” He stops to face Ryan. “Why didn’t you tell me before now?”

  He lowers his head. “I wasn’t ready. I’m sorry.”

  I’m about to speak up, when David curses. “Don’t apologise! I just… it’s just…. Fuck!” He strides over to Ryan, who stands. He starts to speak when David grabs him. He hugs my man close to him as my brother and I share a small smile over the table. “I’m sorry,” David murmurs just loud enough for us to hear. �
��I should’ve been there for you.”

  With his head resting on David’s shoulder, I can see Ryan’s tears. “You’re here for me now.” After a few moments, they pull back. Trey stands and embraces Ryan afterwards, whispering into his ear. After Ryan nods, they return to their seats. Taking my pup’s hand once again, I turn to David. “Ryan’s wondering if you’ll take him to the police station tomorrow,” I say. “There’s a criminal trial, and he’s testifying against Luke on Wednesday.”

  “They want to hash over what I’m going to say,” Ryan tells him. “The detective and the prosecutor.”

  David nods. “Of course I’ll go with you.”

  “Thanks. But, I just want you to be prepared. You might hear more than you want to. It might be… uncomfortable.”

  He shakes his head and says he’s going.

  As I stand to clear the table, I’m grateful for the connection Ryan has with David. “I’m hoping to get Wednesday off work in order to go with him to court. It sounds like an open and shut case. They have several witnesses who have made complaints, and another detective who’s been trying to track him down.”

  Ryan helps me. “I’m only going to court on Wednesday. I’ve asked Detective Brown to let me know the outcome.”

  “What time do you have to be at the station?” David asks.

  “Eleven.” He meets my eyes. “I forgot to tell you; I’ve messaged work, and they know I’m not coming in the next couple days.”

  “Good.” I want to add “pup,” but we have guests. Ryan smiles as though he hears it though. In the kitchen, I wrap my arms around him. “So proud of you, pup,” I whisper.

  “Thank you. You make me strong, Sir.” The love shining through his eyes shows me the truth of his words.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I’m in my seat, watching the court’s proceedings, and my back and shoulders are as tense as ever. The prosecutor calls Ryan to the stand. Aside from feeling worried for him, there’s also a strong sense of pride. My boy is so strong. He and David went to the station the day before to go over how he’ll answer questions. He’s been warned the defence attorney will be hard on him. They’ll try to find any weakness in his story in order to help Luke’s case. It makes me nervous for him. It’s bad enough he has to relive and explain every minute of that night. I just hope he doesn’t become overwhelmed or upset. Ryan takes his seat, and once he’s sworn to tell the truth, the prosecutor, a middle-aged balding man, steps forward.

  “Mr Scott. Can you please tell the jury what happened on August 13, 2016?”

  Ryan points out the defendant, a Mark Lucas Dickson , as his abuser. Ryan explains how Mark introduced himself as Luke, but that he’d try to use his correct name from this point. He goes through the events of the night leading up to him and Mark, meeting at the hotel. He licks his lips, and I know he’s about to get to the hard part.

  “He tied me up like usual. Wrists and ankles bound. But when he stood back, there was this… darkness in his eyes. He walked out of the room before coming back in with a knife. Oh… did I mention he had a cigarette? He put the knife down, probably because he saw fear in my eyes. I told him I wasn’t into that. Blood play, breath play. So, he put it down and lit up a cigarette.” Ryan’s eyes flick over to Mark for a moment. “When it was obvious he was about to put it out on me, I used my safeword.”

  The prosecutor interrupts gently. “Now, for the jury, can you please explain what a safeword is?”

  He turns in his chair to face the jurors. “It’s when you want to stop. Having a lifestyle of either a submissive or Dominant… together you set boundaries, but sometimes if the Dominant thinks it’s the right thing to do, he’ll push them. But if the submissive says his safeword, the Dominant stops. He’s meant to. It’s exactly like saying ‘no,’ or ‘stop,’ to whatever they’re thinking of doing or have started to do.”

  “What was your safeword?” he asks.

  “Red.” Ryan twines his fingers together. “I said it when he was leaning over me. The binds were too tight for me to be able to struggle. But I did. I said ‘red’ over and over.” At this point, my boy’s tears start to leak, and I’m forced to use every inch of strength to stay in my seat. My heart yearns to be by his side. To take him into my arms and leave. Fuck everything else. But I know how important this is. To him. To all of the victims. To the prosecutor’s case. They need Ryan’s testimony to help lock Mark up. Gritting my teeth, I manage to stay seated.

  “I know this is difficult to recall such events,” the prosecutor says. “I also know that saying your safeword is more than enough to show you don’t consent. But, can you tell me, did you also tell him to stop?”

  He nods emphatically. “Yes. I said, ‘stop,’ I said, ‘no,’ and when he got sick of hearing what I had to say, he gagged me.” My poor pup. No wonder he didn’t want to be gagged. Ryan rubs his nose and his voice comes out croaky. “He took away my voice.” The room is silent for a moment before he continues. “After that, he used the knife on me. Made a couple of slices on my abdomen. They weren’t really deep, but I still have the scars.”

  The prosecutor brings the judge and jury’s attention to a piece of evidence. On the screen are photos of Ryan’s scars. “These were taken the day after the assault?”

  “Yes.”

  “Mr Scott. After the defendant cut you and burnt you with the cigarette, what happened next?”

  “He um… forced himself inside me. He didn’t use lube. He didn’t stop until he was finished.”

  “So, to be clear, he sexually assaulted you?”

  “Yes.” Ryan runs his hands over his face. “Afterward, he made out as if it was consensual. He untied me and kept saying I was ‘such a good slave.’ I just sort of lay there after I was untied. I think it was shock. I don’t know. I barely remember him leaving, and then, when I realised he was gone, I got dressed and rushed home.”

  “Ryan, why didn’t you come forward earlier?”

  He shrugs. “I was embarrassed. I didn’t really know who to tell and what to tell them. About a couple of weeks later, I started trying to find him online and I couldn’t. There was no Luke King. So, I kept it inside.”

  “Why come out about it now?”

  “We—my boyfriend and I—bumped into him at a party. He was seeing a friend of his, a woman. At that point, I knew I had to say something. When I realised he could be doing it to other people.”

  “Thank you, Ryan. No further questions, your honour.” The prosecutor takes his seat as the defence attorney stands and steps closer to him.

  “Mr Scott. On the night of the event, did you have anything to drink?”

  Ryan shifts in his seat. “Um… I had a couple of beers with some friends for lunch at around one o’clock.”

  “And nothing after that? Even at the hotel?”

  His eyes flick to the prosecutor and back to her. “When I arrived at the hotel, Luke, sorry Mark , offered me a glass of red and I had it.”

  She nods and I have a feeling I know where this is going. “Mr Scott, do you think it a reasonable notion that your alcohol consumption blurred reality? That your memory might be inaccurate? You yourself admitted you barely remember Mr Dickson leaving.”

  He shakes his head vigorously and speaks up with confidence. “No. I had two beers hours before and one glass. That didn’t affect my memory. Afterwards, I was in shock. Even during the rape, my mind started to block it out. That’s why things are blurry. Not alcohol, but the pain he caused me.”

  The attorney asks a couple of other questions, but they don’t compute. Something to my left has caught my eye. It’s Lisa. She must’ve found out her boyfriend was arrested. She watches Ryan answering the lawyer’s questions, wiping her cheeks every now and then.

  “And how many times before the night in question did you meet up with Mr Dickson?”

  “Uh... seven?” Ryan shrugs. “Over four months, we didn’t… meet up too often. I think that night was number eight.”

  “And all of the ot
her times, you found them pleasurable?”

  Fury ignites in my veins. What the fuck has that got to do with anything? “Objection!” The prosecutor jumps up. “Relevance? We’re not here to discuss the defendant’s prowess every other time he and Mr Scott met up. We’re here to determine the events on the night in question.”

  The judge shifts in his chair. “Overruled. Answer the question, Mr Scott.”

  Ryan shrugs. “Yes. Every other time was… good. If only I could say the same thing about our last meeting, I wouldn’t have to be here.”

  “Only answer the questions, Mr Scott,” the judge reminds Ryan with a frown.

  “Thank you, your honour,” the defence lawyer says. “No further questions.”

  The judge tells Ryan he can leave, and as he stands and steps outside the courtroom, I move quickly to meet him outside. Finding him, I stride over and take him in my arms. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” he whispers into my ear.

  I don’t ever want to let this man go. “I know that was hard, baby. But I’m so fucking proud of you. You did a great job.”

  He shudders against me before letting out a sigh. “Thank you, Sir.”

  A few people step closer to us. Detective Ashley Brown, another man, and Lisa. Ashley says, “They’ve just called a break.” She pats Ryan on the shoulder. “You did well.”

  “Thanks. I’m just glad it’s over.”

  The other man steps over. “Thank you for coming forward, Mr Scott. I’ve been trying to nail down Mark Dickson for some time. Let’s just hope it sticks.”

  My pup introduces the man as Detective Jackson, and we shake hands.

  Lisa moves closer to Ryan. She’d called me a few days ago when she saw Mark on the news. As her friend, it hurt to have to confirm that her boyfriend was a rapist. “Hey. I just wanted to say how brave I think you are. For coming out and telling the truth about what Lucas, I mean Mark , did.” She looks to me. “Thank you for warning me off him that night. We’d been seeing each other for a little while, but hadn’t become physical yet.” Lisa wipes away a tear. “Because of both of you, I know you prevented me from being hurt. So, thank you.”