The Queen's Diamond

by Niyah Moore

  “Bruh, don’t snap. Like, I can see that look in your eyes. You need to walk away and be done if it’s really what everybody says,” he said.

  “I hear you. You got some more smackers? I need to get on tonight.” I needed something to mellow me out. Ecstasy pills weren’t something I liked to take all the time, but they got me in party mode.

  * * *

  “I got one,” Lavish said, taking it out of his pocket. “I planned to pop it later, but you can have it.”

  “Cool. Good lookin’. Y’all coming to the club tonight?”

  He shook his head. “Nah, we got to lay a few tracks. Frill down there right now. You know we stay working.”

  “Always.” I nodded as I walked out the front door. “A’ight. Get at me later.”

  “Be cool, my nigga. Remember what I said.”

  I threw up the deuces, popped the pill, and hopped in the car.

  Desire continued her silent treatment as we headed to the club. As soon as we were out of the car and walking up to the front of the line, people were screaming for Desire. Everybody was here to see her.

  I scoffed at her to myself. She wouldn’t have any of this shit if it weren’t for me. Here she was, shitting on the only nigga who loved her. She didn’t have nobody but me. I glared at her while she smiled and waved.

  We were guided to our VIP section, where the DJ announced she was there. She waved to her fans, removed her mink coat and laid it on the couch, and sat down.

  “You want some Henny?” she asked me as we got settled in VIP.

  “Yeah.”

  She ordered a bottle, and as soon as it came, I took a few shots fast.

  She stared at me. “You turnin’ up hard. So are we squashing this invisible beef or what, Luxury? We need to do something, ’cause this ‘ignoring me’ shit is whack. I can’t keep ignoring you back, waiting for you to talk to me.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I’ll talk when you’re ready to confess.”

  She gave me an odd look but then waved her hand at me. “Boy, bye. What are you talking about?”

  I sat back, with a smirk on my face.

  She rolled her eyes, stood up, and began dancing to the music, drifting away from me.

  As the night wore on, I kept the drinks coming. At one point, I stood up and scanned the room until my eyes rested on this thick model chick who was standing there with her friends. I gave her a head nod. She came right over to me, walking like she was on a runway.

  I licked my lips and smiled at her.

  “Wow. You have the deepest dimples I’ve ever seen,” she commented.

  “Thank you,” I said, staring down at her cleavage. “Damn, you bad,” I said in her ear.

  She giggled, placing her hand on mine. “Thank you.” She was feeling a nigga.

  I flirted right back. “Yeah, you got me ready to leave the club with you right now.”

  She licked her glossy lips but then looked to the right. “Isn’t that your girl over there?”

  I shrugged. “Why you worried about her, though?”

  “Because I don’t want any drama.”

  “Don’t worry about her. That’s over with. What you doing after this?” I said.

  “Shit, I’ll do anything with you.”

  “Anything? Don’t play with me, girl.”

  “I wouldn’t play with you.”

  “You ready to go?”

  “I can’t leave my girls.” She looked back at them. “Can they come?” she asked.

  “Depends.”

  Desire was getting pissed by the second. She had never seen me entertain no other bitches in her face like this. I wasn’t myself that night. And I wanted her to feel the pain I was feeling.

  Desire stomped over to us. “I’m gone give you two seconds to take your hands off my man,” she yelled.

  I grabbed the woman by the hand gently and said, “Let’s get out of here.”

  Desire looked at me as if I had lost my mind, but I didn’t care.

  She snatched her mink coat from the couch and bolted out of the club. I rushed after her.

  Where the fuck is she going?

  Once she was outside, she put on her coat, then stood in front of my car and shouted, “I’m done. I can’t take this shit anymore, disrespectful-ass nigga! I’m gone.”

  She was leaving me? To do what? Be with Nas? If anything, I should’ve been leaving her ass. I had never felt so much rage until that moment. Was I just some carpet she could walk all over? I had done nothing but love her, and she wanted to leave me?

  She turned to walk away, with her phone in her hands.

  Who is she calling? Nas?

  I snatched her ass up so quick that her cell phone crashed against the concrete. My hands were gripping the collar of her coat as I shouted, “Bitch, you ain’t nothin’ without me. I made you. You hear me, bitch? I said you ain’t shit without me!” Blame the liquor and the drugs for the way I reacted, or blame my suppressed emotions. I wasn’t about to let her get away with disrespecting me.

  “Luxury,” she breathed, and her breath turned into fog. Her eyes were welling with tears as she pleaded, “Please, let me go.”

  I smirked. “Hell nah, bitch! I ain’t lettin’ you go. Get yo’ ass in the car right now. You out here playin’.”

  There was no way I was going to lose to some fuck boy. That nigga had no respect for the fact that she was a married woman.

  She squirmed, trying to break free of my grasp, but I had the tightest grip on her neck and was choking her. She tried to scream to get people to intervene, so I backhanded her.

  “Bitch, you think I’m playin’ with you? Get yo’ ass in the car! You ain’t goin’ no fuckin’ where. Don’t make me say it again.”

  The more she fought to get out of my reach, the madder I got. All I could do was think about her running into that nigga’s arms. I would make sure she wouldn’t run. All I could see in my mind was her fucking this nigga. This nigga kissing her. That motherfucking Range Rover. I was beyond hurt. I didn’t deserve love like this. No matter what people said about her, I loved her. I still loved her. I pushed her to the ground.

  “I poured everything into you! Now you wanna up and leave? Muthafucka, it don’t work like that,” I shouted. “You think I don’t know Nasim bought that Range for you? I’ll be damned if I lose you to this bitch-ass nigga.”

  My eyesight became blurred from the tears that had welled up. Everything was starting to become fuzzy; then I saw nothing at all as my rage took over my body. I felt as if I was floating through an empty space filled with thick static. My heartbeat was pounding loudly, echoing in my ears, alongside Desire’s fading pleas for help. I was no longer me, and I didn’t remember how many kicks or punches I landed.

  Desire was out cold, and as I looked down at her, I realized what I had done. A crowd had formed, and I panicked. So I picked her up and put her in the car as fast as I could. On the way to the hospital, I prayed she wouldn’t die.

  35

  DESIRE

  Nightmare

  I heard voices. I woke up, confused, my eyes wide. Then I realized that I had been unconscious, but I didn’t know for how long. My dreams had not been a figment of my imagination. I was interpreting the feedback my senses were giving my brain as I wiggled my toes. Aside from my own breath, I could hear voices and the beeps from machines. I lifted my arm that was hooked to an IV and saw bruises along it. It wasn’t clear to me what had happened, not yet at least.

  “Miss?” A woman police officer approached the side of the bed. “Miss? My name is Rebekah. I’m with the Miami Police Department. We need to figure out what happened to you.”

  I didn’t know what to say other than, “Where’s Luxury?”

  “Is that your husband? The one who assaulted you?”

  Everything seemed to have moved too fast for my brain to put the pieces together. I started crying, as if I were back in that parking lot of the club, with Luxury kicking my ass. I felt heavy, helpless, and alone. My mind
left the room, and I repeatedly felt his kicks and punches all over again. It came to me like a nightmare. The beating felt like it lasted forever . . . until I felt nothing else.

  “Miss. Miss, you must calm down. No one is going to hurt you. You’re in the hospital, and he is in our custody. We want to know if you’d like to press charges.”

  Breathing in deeply, I looked at the woman. Her green eyes were so warm, so concerned. I didn’t say anything, didn’t even try to talk.

  “Do you remember what happened before the assault happened?” she asked quietly.

  “I don’t remember,” I heard myself say. I wasn’t going to say anything to hurt Luxury any more than I already had.

  He knew that I had been unfaithful. His words about Nasim and the Range as he was beating me senseless had let me know that my little secret wasn’t so secret anymore. I had fucked up, but did that mean I had deserved to get beaten down? Hell no. Yet I wanted to protect Luxury. I blamed myself for not being real with him, sneaking behind his back, showing the next nigga attention.

  The officer asked, “What do you remember?”

  “I just told you. I don’t remember shit.” Tears were filling my eyes, making it hard for me to breathe. My throat was tightening, and I started hyperventilating, as if on the verge of a panic attack.

  The nurse rushed to my side and gave me an oxygen mask. “Take in deep breaths. That’s it.”

  The officer said, “I’ll come back later. Hopefully, you’ll remember something then.”

  As she left the room, I focused on breathing. After a minute or so, I took off the mask and asked the nurse, “Did my husband bring me here?”

  “Yes. He did.”

  “Where is he now?”

  “He’s in police custody.”

  Tears cascaded down my face. “Will I be okay?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, no major injuries. Just some scrapes and bruises. You and your baby will be fine. The doctor will be in to see you soon.”

  I nodded, but then I realized she had said, “You and your baby.” “Wait, did you just say baby?”

  Staring at me oddly, she answered, “You didn’t know that you’re pregnant?”

  I shook my head slowly. I tried to recall if I had missed a period. I had been so busy that I did not realize until now that I had missed two periods.

  “How many weeks?” I asked.

  “We did an ultrasound, and you’re six weeks. I’ll be right back with some ice water, okay?”

  I nodded slowly again. After she left me alone in that hospital room, I placed my hand on my stomach. With all my heart, I wished I could retract all the negative things I had ever done and said to Luxury. I couldn’t believe he was in jail. I hoped to fix this between us, but truth be told, we had gone too far. I wished I could erase everything and go back to the days when everything felt brand new. I wanted to make amends. I was learning now who and what really mattered in my life, but was it too late?

  36

  EGYPT

  Delusional Mind

  The fight between Luxury and Desire was all over the news. I still couldn’t believe that he had hit her like that. For as long as I’d known Luxury, he had never put his hands on a woman. Never. The blogs were having a field day, calling him a monster. It was straight bullshit. I blamed that bitch, and she had got what she deserved. Desire’s affair with Nas was something that had broken Luxury down. He loved Desire so much, but I hadn’t thought he was this crazy in love.

  The news reported that he had turned himself in, so I gathered money from Frill and Lavish to post his bail. It didn’t matter what his bond was set at; we were going to pay it if they said we could. The process took forever, but by the next morning, I received a text from Lavish saying Luxury was getting out of jail. I let Lavish know that I would be right there to pick Luxury up.

  While I waited in the car for Luxury to walk out of jail, Nia called me.

  “Hey, cuzzo,” I answered.

  “Cuzzo, you get him yet?”

  “I’m waiting on him now.”

  “Okay. Hold on.” She took her ear away from the phone to talk to someone. “Lavish, E said she’s still waiting on him.” She put her ear back to the phone before she said, “E, have Luxury call Lavish as soon as possible.”

  “Okay. What y’all up to?”

  “We chillin’, doin’ what we do.”

  I hummed, “Uh-huh. Y’all some freaks.”

  Lavish and Nia had been messing around since we were teenagers, but Lavish didn’t want to settle down with anyone. Nia was okay with him fucking other bitches, because half the time she was fucking with those bitches right along with him. I didn’t see why they couldn’t make it official. They were around one another all the time.

  She laughed. “Well, call me if you want me to meet up with you later.”

  “I will. Bye.”

  “Bye,” she said.

  As I ended the call, Luxury walked out of jail, looking like shit. His face looked sunken in, and those deep dimples I loved when he smiled were nowhere to be found. All joy seemed to have vanished from his eyes. I got out of the car and waved to let him know I was there.

  He looked up, but then he put his head down. He strolled to the car and got in. Once inside, he kept his head down. I stared down at what he was looking at. He was staring at his busted knuckles. I had seen Luxury look this defeated only once, and that was when De’Vonn was murdered.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “I really don’t want to talk about it. It’s like . . . I don’t know what the fuck happened. I was drunk out of my mind and high as fuck. I was so gone. That shit with Desire and that nigga Nasim, or whatever the fuck his name is, got to me. That’s no excuse, though. I fucked up, E. I took her to the hospital and turned myself in.”

  “Did she hit you first?”

  “No . . . Is she okay? Did you check on her?”

  Check on her? Why would I check on her? Luxury was my friend. I knew what he did was wrong, but she wasn’t my concern. He was.

  “No, not yet.”

  “Can you, please? I gotta know. Shit, I fucked up.” Tears fell from his eyes, and he quickly wiped them away. “A man should never, ever let his anger do no shit to a woman like that. You should’ve kept my ass in there.”

  “Listen, what you did was wrong, but don’t talk like that. You got people that genuinely care about you.”

  I wanted to blurt out that I loved him. I never would’ve done what Desire did to him. For a few short seconds, he looked up at me. I tried to see what was behind his eyes, because I wanted to know that he was done with her.

  “I think it’s nice that you worry about me,” he said. “It’s like I got the sister my mama could never have, you know.”

  How could he look at me like a sister? He was out of his mind.

  “Well, I’m here for you, Luxury. Always will be.”

  He nodded, and his eyes left mine. He took his cell out of his pocket and tried to turn it on, but it was dead. I started up the car and started heading to his house.

  “Hey, can you not take me home right now?” he said. “I can’t even go in that house, with her fragrances and stuff everywhere. It will just fuck me up even more.”

  “Where you want to go? Lav’s?”

  “Nah, I’ll check into a hotel somewhere. I’m trying to lay low.”

  “You think that’s a good idea? I mean, paparazzi will be everywhere. We can go to my place. That way you won’t be bothered.”

  “I don’t want to impose or nothing.”

  “No, it’s cool,” I assured him.

  We drove over to my place, which was about twenty minutes away.

  When we stepped inside, he said, “You got an iPhone charger?”

  “You know I do.” I went into the living room and took the charger out of the wall. “Here you go.”

  “Thanks,” he replied as he sat on the couch and plugged the charger into the same outlet I had just pulled it out of.
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  “You hungry or anything?” I asked him. “I have some leftover spaghetti from Buca di Beppo. I have plenty.”

  “Nah, it’s good. I can’t really eat all like that.”

  Pitiful thing. He was really fucked up over this. Luxury always had an appetite.

  As soon as he had power on his phone, he called someone. I wondered who he was calling. Whoever it was didn’t answer, and he looked stressed. I hoped he wasn’t trying to call Desire.

  As I heated up my food in the microwave, I kept looking over at him. He rubbed the top of his head repeatedly, his head down, as he scrolled through his phone.

  “Can you call up to the hospital and check on Desire, please?” he asked.

  I wanted to scream no, but I replied, “Okay. I’ll call up there right now. Will that make you feel better?”

  “I just gotta know if she’s okay,” he answered.

  After grabbing my phone out of my purse, I called the hospital.

  “University of Miami Hospital. How may I direct your call?”

  “Hello. Can I get Desirae Monnahan’s room?”

  “Let me locate the patient. You said Monnahan?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t have a Monnahan here.”

  “Try Fernández,” I said.

  “One second.” She was silent for a moment. “Desirae Fernández?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “She’s in room sixty-five forty-three. I’ll transfer you now.”

  “Thank you,” I replied.

  Luxury was listening carefully, so I made sure to put the call on speakerphone. The phone rang. After about five rings, I started to hang up, but then she answered.

  “Hello?” she said, sounding heavily medicated.

  “Hey, Desire. This is Egypt. I’m calling to check on you. How are you?”

  “I’m . . . in a lot of pain, but I’ll be fine. No major injuries . . . Where’s Luxury?”

  “Just made bail. He’s . . . at home now,” I lied, looking at Luxury.

  I didn’t know what else to say. What if she didn’t want him to know where she was? I was doing my best not to fuck this up for him.