by Eden French
Carson’s cheeks flushed. “That’s actually never happened before.”
“Sure,” Brand teased. “You seem to be a crowd favorite.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
Carson blushed harder. “The show is quite popular with teens. And the vampire stuff….” He shook his head. “Never would I have ever imagined I’d be shaping a career from pretending to be the living dead. It’s so silly. Some of the time, when I’m saying lines, it’s like I’m living in this strange alternate universe. But vampires are all the rage now, so it pays the bills.”
Brand twisted his mouth. “Oh, come on. You can’t fool me. You always said the one thing you loved about drama class back in school was that it gave you a chance to be all the things you imagined you could be. And Detective Brett MacLaren is certainly something else.”
Carson’s eyes widened. “You’ve seen the show?”
Heat rushed up Brand’s cheeks. He hadn’t intended to admit he’d seen the show but being with Carson was comfortable. And the wine didn’t exactly inhibit his thoughts. Time to own up. Just be cool.
“Of course I’ve seen the show. A couple episodes at least. This whole town considers you a hero. I had to see what all the hype was about.”
“And?”
“It’s good, Car. But I kind of expected that from you.”
He met Carson’s gaze and fell into those blue eyes, back in time, back to when he could be anything but only wanted to be Carson Keaton’s boyfriend. The silence between them hung heavy. His heart was in his throat. He cleared it loudly, breaking the spell that bound them on the couch.
He stood up and again collected the two glasses from the coffee table. If he was going to make it through this night, he would definitely need another drink.
Hours later, the bottle of wine, and an additional one, had been drained.
“Well, I better get going.”
Brand looked at the clock. It was past midnight. Where had the time gone? He stood and followed Carson to the door.
“Thanks again for agreeing to see me tonight. It was good connecting with you again.”
Brand smiled. “You know, I actually thought tonight was going to be a mistake, but I’m glad it happened, Car. I missed my friend too.”
He leaned forward to reach for the door handle and brushed against Carson’s body. Lightning flew through every nerve cell, leaving gooseflesh in its path. His breath caught in his throat. Carson froze and Brand had to force himself to focus.
Taking a deliberate step back, Brand opened the door. The tension dissipated with the sharp November breeze that picked up outside and swept the entryway. Carson stepped out onto the porch.
“Hey, Car?”
“Yeah?” Carson said turning around.
He swiped a hand through his blond hair, and Brand nearly forgot what he was going to say. Shit. What the hell? He shouldn’t have opened that second bottle. He cleared his throat to stall.
“Um, thank you for coming back,” he recovered. “To explain things, you know. I’m… I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
A soft smile tugged at Carson’s lips. “Yeah, well, it is what it is, I suppose.” He chewed on the corner of his lip. “I’ve never stopped thinking about you, Brand. Leaving Tahoe and leaving you will always be my greatest regret.”
And then, suddenly, as if he realized he’d said too much, he turned and took the porch stairs quickly before Brand could answer. Brand stood in the doorway, watching as Carson got in his car and drove away, disappearing into the cold night.
Chapter Nineteen
Brand sat in his car and waited for Teo to get off work. Light snow powdered the hood of his Jeep, the radio playing a rock ballad from the mid-nineties filling the car with something other than his nervous energy.
Teo exited the small design studio and ran toward the forest green Jeep, his head tucked down into his winter coat. Brand leaned over and pulled the handle on the inside, opening the door, and Teo climbed in.
“Man, I was not expecting it to snow today. Thank God, it’s not sticking. I’m just not ready for it.” He leaned over and gave Brand a kiss. “How are you?”
Brand wrapped his hand around the back of Teo’s neck and pulled him into another kiss. His tongue delved deep into the other man’s mouth and reveled in his taste. Coffee and caramel today.
“What was that for?” Teo said when Brand released him.
“I just wanted to kiss you,” he said. “And was wondering if you had some time to chat about the talk Carson and I had.”
Teo blew out a long, slow breath as he dragged both hands through his hair. “You know, I knew this would come up, and I thought I’d be ready for it, but Jesus, I’m fucking nervous.”
Brand placed his hand on Teo’s knee. “Hey, I promised you I’d be honest about all this, right? I’ll just say this first, nothing happened between us. Got it?” He withheld the part where they almost kissed. No need to worry Teo about a momentary lapse in judgment that resulted in nothing. God, he was a jerk.
“Okay, I’m ready. How was it?”
Brand shrugged. “Awkward at first. I mean, I was so angry with him. It was like I was eighteen again, and every bit of betrayal and hurt crashed down on me.”
“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”
Brand shook his head. “Not really a ‘but,’ more like an ‘and.’ As in, I was so angry with him, I mean ready to ice him out big time, and then he told me the last thing I expected to hear come from his lips.”
Teo shifted in the seat, his voice rising when he asked, “So that’s it then? All’s forgiven? Things are back to how they used to be?”
Brand reached over and took Teo’s hand in his. “No. Not even close.” He ran his thumb over Teo’s knuckles. “I’m not gonna lie. Honesty, right?” Teo nodded. “I’m still attracted to him, but he hurt me. I mean, really hurt me. Yes, I understand more about why he left, but you know what? Just because I understand it more, doesn’t mean it makes it okay. And Teo, you’ve been the only person since he left who I’ve felt strong enough, more of myself enough, to trust with a piece of my heart.”
Teo bit his lip. His eyes were glassy. “I have a piece of your heart?”
Brand smiled. “Yes. You do. And, I’m not ready to let what we have go.”
Teo leaned forward and kissed Brand full on the mouth. “I want to be supportive, Brand, I do. I know what it’s like to be on the other end of this situation, and I know how difficult things are for you right now.”
Brand’s brow furrowed. The other end of the situation? What did that mean? He opened his mouth to question but was cut off by Teo’s voice. “Look, I want you, Brand West. You are the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. And, even though I don’t like the idea of you and your ex getting close again, I think what we have is worth fighting for. And I want there to be no doubt in your mind when you choose me.” A crooked smile lifted the corner of his mouth before he took a deep breath. “I know I may regret this, but I don’t see how it can be any other way. If you want to see what was between you two is still there, then I’m not gonna stop you. I’m not gonna like it—at all, but you have to know for sure.”
Tears stung the corners of Brand’s eyes. His chest warmed as he examined Teo’s face. How could the man be so damned sincere? There was no question in Brand’s mind that he meant every word he said. Brand tucked a bit of Teo’s hair behind his ear and leaned in, rubbing his cheek against the other man’s.
“Teo, how are you being so amazing about this?” Brand whispered in his ear as he nuzzled in the crook of his neck, his lips grazing against the other man’s skin.
Teo lifted his chin and allowed Brand deeper access to the soft flesh and sighed. “Believe me, what I want and what I’m doing are two different things. But maybe it’s time we both let our pasts catch up with us, and if we’re meant to be, then after all this is over, we’ll be eating breakfast in bed watching cheesy romance movies every weekend.�
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Brand lifted his head until he was able to catch Teo’s gaze. “Are you ever gonna tell me about this secret past of yours?”
“Another time,” Teo said as he inched forward and pressed his lips against Brand’s once more. “Right now, I believe there are a few other things I’d like to do with you first.”
“Just a few things?”
Teo smiled. “To start.” He reached down and ran his hand up Brand’s thigh. “But first, dinner. I believe it’s my turn to pick, correct?” His hand stopped when it reached the space between Brand’s thighs, and he pressed against his hardening cock.
Brand released a soft moan. “You’re killing me, Teo,” he teased. “If you move that hand any more, I’m gonna want to skip dinner altogether and spend the entire time kissing you.”
Teo smiled when he quickly removed his hand, and Brand’s hips involuntarily hitched at the absence. “Well then, I suppose that will have to wait until later ’cause I’m starved.”
Brand closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His cock was ready to explode, but he wouldn’t miss the chance for a good, old fashioned dinner date. When he sufficiently distracted his rogue erection, he gave Teo a look.
“Where to?”
Teo smiled. “The Outpost? I’ve been wanting to try their mac and cheese.”
Brand started the Jeep and let out a quiet laugh. Of course Teo would pick the least private restaurant in all of Tahoe. He’d really have to control his desire now.
“Whatever you want, Teo. Tonight, it’s your choice.” He glanced over and gave him a quick wink.
Teo’s lips spread in a sly smile. “I was hoping you’d say that. Because after dinner, it’s you and me at my place. No past secrets, or crazy handsome famous actor exes. Just the two of us, a glass of wine, and a movie snuggling on the couch… with no interruptions.”
“Now that sounds perfect.”
He pulled out onto the road and headed to the restaurant with a lighter heart and an evening with no worries ahead.
Chapter Twenty
Creepy stalker wasn’t something Carson ever thought he’d be labeled as, but as he stood in the darkened overhang of the coffee shop and watched Brand and Teo talk and kiss and talk and— Did they have to kiss so much in public?
It wasn’t like he intentionally set out to spy. He was just working on some writing at Mountain Grounds—a project he’d been thinking about for a while—when he noticed Brand’s Jeep pull over a few shops up. When Teo climbed into the passenger side, his stomach twisted, and his chest tightened.
Still, he couldn’t look away, his eyes were glued on the two men. The intimacy shared between them oozed out of the slim cracks at the top of the windows. His throat was thick, and he swallowed hard as he studied their every movement. A soft caress, a gentle smile, a passionate kiss, a loving look, every muscle in Carson’s body tensed from his post.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
“Carson. Keaton.”
Carson spun around and met the deep brown eyes of a tall, curvy, much-more-womanly-since-the-last-time-he-saw-her, Ryan. She looked him up and down through narrowed eyes. He shifted from one foot to the other.
“Jesus. You know, it’s not polite to sneak up on people like that.”
“You know, it’s not polite to spy on people. Particularly people I consider to be very important in my life. And especially, when you quite nearly destroyed one of those people’s hearts once already.”
Carson raised his hands in surrender. “Touché.” He let his shoulders drop and looked around. The sun had set, and the street was dark and quiet as the shops began to close. “It’s been a while, Ry. Can I buy you a coffee?”
Ryan held up her recently purchased cup. “I’m covered. Thanks.”
Carson blew out a long breath. “So, that’s Teo, huh?”
Ryan raised her eyebrows. “You think? Wow, you’re smarter than I thought putting that together. I mean, considering you left the most faithful, loving, amazing person behind without so much as a goodbye, I figured you were as dumb as the storyline of your show.”
Carson bit the inside of his cheek. “I deserve that. I’m not going to even try to defend what I did.”
“Good. Because you fucked up big time and I’m not sure you deserve that man. Look, I know you have history with each other. I’d suspected in high school, but once you split, well, it didn’t take a genius to figure it out. Brand was destroyed. And just so you know, he tried to hide it from me, but I knew. Just like I know all this is still none of my business, but I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t say what I’m about to say.”
Carson braced himself. High School Ryan hadn’t refrained from speaking her mind either. He expected nothing less than a near atomic meltdown.
“That man has been through hell and back over you one time already. At first, it was not knowing where you were, if you were even alive. And then, there you are, on television, all dreamy and mysterious, and he was crushed again. Not knowing why you left, if he’d done something to upset you, something that caused you to leave, or if you were just lying to him the whole time, and you never really loved him. If it was he that was unlovable, if that’s even possible. I mean, that man is one of the most loveable people I’ve ever met.
“And to see him over the years push through and grow and give himself to his job and help people, give them hope, and save lives… I mean, he brought people back to their loved ones, and the whole time he thought love itself was just a bunch of shit because he wasn’t worthy of it, because of you…. I was there when he had to pick up the pieces, Carson. It should’ve never happened.”
“I know.”
The engine to the Jeep started, and Carson looked back over his shoulder. He watched as Brand drove down the street and made a right at the corner. His heartbeat echoed in his hollow chest. He turned back to Ryan.
“Is it serious? You know, between the two of them?”
Ryan narrowed her eyes. “Brand and I have been best friends for seven years. My loyalty lies with him. But what I can tell you is this. Brand and Teo make sense. They’re good for each other.”
“But are they serious?”
Ryan sighed and flopped down on a bench near the front window. Carson joined her. “I’d hoped they would be. Maybe if you hadn’t come back, they could be. But I know Brand, and I know that while you’re here, the chance of them getting any more serious is slim to none.”
“Why do I get the feeling that you’d rather have me take the next flight out of here?”
“Probably because part of me wishes you had never come back. Or at least not until he and Teo were on more solid ground.” She looked at him and shrugged. “Sorry, but it’s true. That summer after was awful. Brand and I guarded together at Eagle Point Swim Club. You know, when it’s just the two of you shift after shift, you really get to know a person. He wasn’t the Brand we knew from high school. He was a shell of a person.”
Carson swallowed the ball lodged in his throat and clenched his jaw. It made him physically ill to know he’d caused so much pain.
“But slowly he came around,” she continued. “And even after he started the academy in the fall and I began at SNU, I couldn’t leave him. I wouldn’t. He’s too important of a person. But you know that. I figure you wouldn’t be back here trying to stir up old memories, if you didn’t.”
“I don’t want him to hurt, Ry.”
“Well, that may be true. But you didn’t have to pick up the pieces, spend nights with him trying to convince him he’d done nothing wrong, try to cheer him up when your birthday came around every February, or encourage him to take a chance and start dating again.”
“But…?”
Ryan’s shoulders fell. “But he needs this closure. With you. He needs to figure it out on his own. As much as I love the idea of Brand and Teo, if it’s not his true choice, he’ll never be happy. And as much as I want to hate you, and as much as you don’t deserve him, I know that there’s a chance he may choose you,
and I don’t want to hate the one person who makes my best friend happy.”
Carson forced his breath to remain even. “He’s lucky to have you.”
Ryan rolled her shoulders back. “Oh, I know,” she said. “And you’d be the luckiest son-of-a-bitch on Earth to have him. If somehow, by divine intervention, you even get another chance, and you fuck it up like you did last time, I swear on everything holy I will fuck up that pretty little face of yours, Carson Keaton. Are we understood?”
Carson nodded. “I have no doubt that you would.”
“Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.”
She stood to leave.
“Ryan?” Carson called as she stepped away from the café. She looked back over her shoulder and lifted a brow.
“If I should ever get another chance with him, I won’t blow it. I promise. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he’ll spend the rest of his life feeling loved.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I hope so. For Brand’s sake, I hope you’re telling the truth.” She inhaled deeply. “See ya around, pretty boy.”
“Yeah. Have a good night.”
She tossed her empty cup into the garbage can and adjusted the scarf around her neck. Carson watched as she headed down the sidewalk, her long gray coat wrapped tightly around her body.
He stood and, pulling his coat closer to him, headed to his car. Although not the most pleasant of interactions, he couldn’t hold it against her, she was only looking out for Brand. And, she did reveal a lot. The most important being that he still had a chance. Despite the intimate moment in the Jeep, no matter how cozy Brand and Teo had looked, Ryan confirmed that Brand still had feelings for him. Or was at least willing to find out. And that was what he was holding onto. Carson slid into his vehicle and started up the engine.
Operation Redemption was about to get real.
Chapter Twenty-One
Waking up at six thirty on a Sunday morning was not Carson’s first choice. He was more used to mid-morning Pilates and afternoon training sessions on set. But if it meant he’d get to see Brand, he’d happily drag his ass out of bed.
