Driving Home for Christmas

by Emma Hannigan

  ‘We’re used to that sort of reaction,’ Lorraine explained. ‘We’re married the last ten years,’ she said, looking up lovingly at Manus. ‘He works as a forklift driver during the week. He only cross-dresses at weekends.’

  ‘That’s very … modern of you,’ Lainey said, stony-faced. When she saw that the others were grinning, she burst out laughing. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I know I’m meant to be unfazed by this, but I’m so bloody shocked I feel like I’m going to die.’

  ‘At least you’re honest,’ Manus said. ‘You can stay. Every now and again we meet new people who tell us they’re cool with it. Then they excuse themselves to go to the bathroom and we see them running up the road.’

  ‘Oh, no way!’ Lainey said, relaxing. ‘Let me have another stiff drink and I’ll be fine, I promise.’

  ‘Didn’t I tell you she’s cool?’ Jules said proudly.

  ‘Ah, you did indeed,’ Lorraine answered. ‘We’ve heard all about you, Lainey, and how kind you’ve been to Jules since she started the job. Your boss sounds like a right prick. She’d be a basket case by now if it wasn’t for you.’

  ‘Yeah, fair play to you for looking out for her,’ Manus said, putting his arm around Jules protectively.

  ‘It works both ways,’ Lainey said. ‘She’s a good pal to have around too.’

  Once she’d finished her second glass of wine, Lainey felt less freaked out. ‘Are we all sitting together?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes,’ Jules told her. ‘It was Lorraine’s sister who gave us the tickets.’

  ‘She’s at home heartbroken, the poor bitch,’ Lorraine said. ‘I told her to dump that dopey shite she was living with. He didn’t give a toss about her. She needs a decent man like my Manus, isn’t that right?’ she said, looking up at her bearded bride. ‘So we’re all in beside each other. That cool with you, Lainey?’

  ‘Sure,’ Lainey said. This was certainly different from any night she’d had with Seth – or anyone else, for that matter. She was actually enjoying being part of the group. Even if they were a little alternative.

  As they made their way into the auditorium for the show Jules linked her arm. ‘Can I have a word?’ she asked.

  ‘Sure,’ Lainey said, and they stood over to one side allowing the crowd to pass them by.

  ‘We’ll catch up with you in a sec,’ Jules called to the others. Lorraine gave her the thumbs-up to let her know she’d heard.

  ‘This is actually really hard for me,’ Jules said, looking at the floor. ‘I honestly hope that what I’m about to say doesn’t ruin our friendship.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘The thing is, Lainz … well, I’m gay.’

  ‘Really?’ Lainey said. She’d thought meeting Manus was going to be the most outrageous thing that happened tonight but it seemed the surprises weren’t over yet. ‘Wow. I wasn’t expecting that!’

  ‘You’re not annoyed with me?’

  ‘Why would I be?’ Lainey said, puzzled.

  ‘You’ve been so good to me since I started my job and I was going to tell you before but it never seemed like the right time,’ Jules continued. ‘Then I figured you might guess when I told you my mum wasn’t talking to me and I’d split with my boyfriend …’ She trailed off.

  ‘Nope! I’d no idea. This is going to sound awful but I think I had a stereotypical image in my head of what a lesbian should look like and it’s not you.’

  ‘Because I don’t have a shaved head and wear army-surplus gear?’ she said, giggling.

  ‘Precisely,’ Lainey said. ‘Listen, I meant what I said just now to Lorraine and Manus. You’ve been such a great friend to me. You’re kind and thoughtful and I’d like to think we’ve clicked.’ Suddenly she had a thought. ‘You don’t fancy me, do you?’ she asked, before she could stop herself.

  ‘No! Not at all! Eh … I mean, that’s not why I’ve been hanging around with you. Sorry, that sounds insulting. I didn’t mean it to be. I know you’re not gay, Lainz, so I don’t think of you that way,’ Jules said, looking mortified.

  ‘Let’s start this conversation again,’ Lainey said calmly. ‘You’ve told me you’re gay. I have no issue with it. You don’t fancy me. I hope we can continue being great friends. Does that just about sum it up?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes,’ Jules said. ‘That’s exactly what I wanted to say!’

  They both burst out laughing.

  ‘Can you believe Pippa tells me all the time that I act like a pensioner and I’m too sensible,’ Lainey said. ‘And Mum’s always saying how intense I am. Well, now I can tell both of them I was at a concert with a cross-dressed married man and a lesbian. Jules, you’ve done more for my street cred than you’ll ever know.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Jules said, growing very serious suddenly. Tears shone in her eyes. ‘Thank you,’ she said again, taking Lainey’s hand. ‘Remember I told you my mum won’t talk to me? She told me I’m a freak. She said she’s ashamed of me and I make her sick. She thinks I’m doing this to get to her.’

  ‘Well, I hope in time she’ll come round,’ Lainey said.

  ‘Thanks, Lainz,’ Jules said, hugging her. As the screams went up in the auditorium the girls jumped.

  ‘Sounds like Michael’s on his way. Let’s get in there,’ Jules said. She pulled Lainey’s sleeve and tottered towards the entrance.

  As they made their way to their seats Lainey tried to take it all in. She honestly didn’t mind that Jules was gay. But she was totally stunned. She’d never have guessed in a million years. Although she was certainly surprised at her friend’s news, Lainey was struck by how shoddily Jules’s mum had behaved. No matter how bad things were at home, Lainey could never imagine her own family being so harsh. They weren’t the Brady Bunch either, Lainey mused. They were far from perfect in actual fact. They didn’t talk openly enough.

  Yes, they had a wonderful open-door policy going, but so many things were brushed under the carpet. Look at the way they’d handled things since Grandma had left. They all said they missed her but that was where it ended. How come none of them had contacted her? It wasn’t right. Months had gone by yet the rift between them still stood.

  Lainey decided there and then that she would definitely drop down to Huntersbrook the following day. She wanted to talk to her mother. For a long time she’d been aware of a wedge between herself and Holly. Grandma had buffered that for years but since she’d left Lainey had felt the tension increase. She figured she was going to take her new friend’s lead and try to be more open about her feelings.

  The opportunity for further deep thought vanished as the auditorium lights dipped and the stage came alive.

  The concert was fantastic. Lainey was surprised by how many of the songs she knew and found herself singing along happily with all the others.

  ‘Let’s go clubbing now,’ Carrie suggested, as they filed out among the massive crowd.

  Lainey felt nervous again. What if they wanted to go to some underground fetish place?

  ‘We could go to the hotel over there,’ Jules said, pointing to what looked like a very ordinary place. Lainey decided she should stay a while, out of politeness if nothing else.

  The disco bar turned out to be totally kosher, with trendy tables and chairs and not a bondage whip in sight. Manus was the only man in a dress but the fact he could take down the entire front row of the Irish rugby team with one arm probably explained why people weren’t jeering at him or picking fights.

  The music was great, and Lainey even ventured on to the dance floor with Jules, Carrie and Anna.

  ‘Seth hated dancing so I’ve never really been to clubs,’ Lainey shouted to Jules, as they jumped around. ‘This is so much fun! We’ll have to organise some more nights out!’

  ‘Well, my New Year’s resolution is to let my hair down and be happy to be myself,’ Jules vowed.

  ‘That sounds like a great plan!’ Lainey agreed.

  By the time she got back to her flat it was after three in the morning. Lainey had enjoyed every minute of the ni
ght. She was still a bit floored by Jules’s revelation, but she’d meant it when she’d said it wouldn’t make any difference to their friendship.

  Her heart went out to Jules when she thought of her mother shunning her. That woman was missing out on a relationship with a wonderful daughter.

  As she drifted off to sleep, Grandma’s face filled her mind. Sometimes other people’s selfish actions highlighted our own, Lainey mused. She wasn’t sure that Grandma would still want to chat to her but she needed to find out. She’d ask her mother for the number and pluck up the courage to phone her.

  15

  All I Want for

  Christmas Is …

  That Sunday, as Pippa and Sue unpacked the stunning collection by Chanel at Boutique Belle, Pippa felt as if she was in the presence of royalty.

  ‘Let’s get this window all Chanelled up!’ Pippa squeaked, unable to hide her excitement. ‘This is the next best thing to owning the stuff.’ Reverently she lifted a piece free of its tissue paper.

  ‘Ha! You’re as bad as I am!’ Sue said, giving her a quick hug. ‘And there was I thinking you’d be cursing me for getting you up at the crack of dawn on a Sunday to troop in here in the freezing cold.’

  ‘Sue. Sweetie,’ Pippa said, with one hand on her hip and the other waving in an exaggerated gesture. ‘I’d walk to work backwards in my bare feet in the middle of the night if it meant I could touch the Chanel stuff.’

  ‘I know you probably want to have some of your Sunday off all he same,’ Sue said. ‘You should be gone by two at the latest and I’ll pay you double.’

  ‘Great!’ Pippa was delighted.

  As it turned out, there were lots of early-morning shoppers milling around Grafton Street, so Sue wisely opened the doors ahead of the scheduled time. As she was caught up with serving customers, Pippa pretty much had free rein with the window dressing.

  ‘Oh!’ Sue exclaimed later, when Pippa dragged her out of the shop to view the finished window.

  ‘You like?’ she asked, as she scrutinised her own work.

  ‘It’s stunning! I love the monochrome effect. The oversized white glittery baubles on strings of tinsel are a far cry from a mannequin in a Santa hat and a family of penguins in a corner, which is what most shops do.’

  ‘Most shops don’t carry Chanel, dahling,’ Pippa said. ‘Nor do they have Pippa Craig at their service.’

  Sue laughed and hugged her again. ‘All jokes aside, you have an incredible eye for style, Pippa. You should put it to good use. I’m not here to lecture you, but you really have a talent.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Pippa grinned. She’d felt such a buzz as she’d dressed the window. She’d known instinctively that black-and-white would be the best backdrop against which to show off the gorgeous black bouclé Chanel suits, with the frothy white-and-black patterned silk blouses. Coco Chanel herself might have sent the life-sized porcelain Dalmatian she had found in the stockroom. Pippa had wanted to bring the glitz of Christmas to the window without being tacky, so the thin strings of silver tinsel had worked marvellously with the spotlighting to suspend the baubles and join the dog to the mannequin as a twinkling lead.

  ‘I used my own lipstick on the mannequin and it’s kind of sitting on top of her plastic face, so don’t let it rub off on you if you’re taking anything out of the window to sell,’ Pippa warned.

  ‘Good point, thank you. But you’re so right to give her ruby red lips. It just lifts the whole look. Well done!’

  As a customer approached, Sue and Pippa rushed back into the shop. Whether it was the striking window or just pre-Christmas indulgence, the shop was thronged for the next few hours.

  By four o’clock it was getting dark and the wind had begun to whip down the street. ‘You go on home, pet,’ Sue said to Pippa. ‘I’m sorry you had to stay so long, but I’m so glad you were here. I’d never have managed on my own.’

  ‘My pleasure,’ Pippa said. ‘I love working with fashion. It’s a brilliant way for me to stay out of debt! Shopping with other people’s money is so much fun!’ She giggled.

  ‘Speaking of money, I’ll give you cash for today,’ Sue said. ‘You could get yourself a little treat!’ She handed Pippa a generous wedge.

  ‘Thanks, Sue!’ Pippa said. ‘I think I will treat myself! I’ve been under a bit of financial stress lately but seeing as this is a bit of a bonus I might just blow it!’

  ‘You only live once.’ Sue grinned.

  Pippa decided it would be rude not to make the most of this little windfall. Needless to say, Sue was totally unaware that Pippa had spent her entire life until that week treating herself. But that was immaterial.

  It was freezing when she left the shop and made her way across town. She knew she should go home to avoid spending money, but she couldn’t shake the idea that she was ‘Chanel personnel’ now.

  She rang Skye, and was thrilled when she answered with the sound of glasses clinking and raised voices in the background.

  ‘It’s me!’ Pippa shouted.

  ‘Pippa! Where are you?’ Skye shouted back.

  ‘Just leaving work. Are you in town?’

  ‘I’m in Diamonds bar with a few people. Do you want to come and join us?’

  ‘Cool! See you in a few minutes.’ That was exactly what Pippa felt like, an evening of chatting and laughing with a bit of flirting mixed in. Jay came fleetingly to mind. She still needed to speak to him. She brushed aside the image of his face when she’d rejected him, and strode quickly across the city centre to the bar.

  The place was jammed. As the rain began to hammer down outside, the windows steamed up. Threading her way through the throng, Pippa nodded to the beat of the music. Spotting Skye waving at her, she smiled and waved back, then nudged her way to the far corner.

  ‘Hi,’ she said, kissing Skye. ‘How did you manage to get seats?’ she asked, impressed.

  ‘I’ve been here since lunchtime!’ Skye slurred. ‘I met a client who bought me a bite to eat and we had wine and I should’ve gone home but I’m still here!’ She put a hand to her mouth in mock shock. ‘What’ll you have?’ She swayed as she slid off her stool to go to the bar.

  ‘They’re on me,’ a guy Pippa had never seen before announced. He was about two stone overweight, with a slick of sweat across his brow and upper lip. She guessed he was in his early thirties, although he was already balding. ‘I’m Vince,’ he said, taking Pippa’s hand in his doughy one.

  ‘Hi, Vince, lovely to meet you,’ she said, lurching backwards to avoid a slobbery kiss. ‘I’m Pippa.’

  ‘You’re looking lovely, Pippa,’ he said, with a slow grin. ‘What can I get you to drink?’

  ‘You’re very kind. I’ll have a gin and tonic, please.’ He was pretty vile, but if he wanted to buy her drinks Pippa wasn’t going to object.

  As he’d vacated his stool to go to the bar, Pippa decided to sit on it for a minute. Sliding it beside Skye’s, she settled down for a chat.

  ‘Is he your client?’ she asked.

  ‘Nope,’ Skye said, and her eyes crossed.

  ‘You’re totally pie-eyed!’ Pippa laughed.

  ‘Yeah. I think I need to move on to sparkling water. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll last here. I’m so bad at drinking during the day. But it was one of those quick deals. The guy phoned me this morning looking to have a site done ASAP so I agreed to meet him today. He’s very cool and he’s given me the job.’

  ‘Brilliant!’ Pippa said.

  ‘He’s a serious mover and shaker too – I reckon it’ll lead to lots more work so I’m stoked. He bought a glass of bubbly to celebrate and we had wine with lunch,’ she explained. ‘I was so nervous and delighted about the deal I couldn’t really eat. And now I’m skuttered. I should get out of here before I fall in a heap on the floor.’

  ‘Ah, it’s Christmas! Live a little,’ Pippa said. ‘Here’s what’s-his-name with my drink. Do you know him?’ she asked.

  ‘No … He’s just some randomer who pitched up a while ago with
the two fellas just there,’ Skye said, pointing behind. ‘He seems okay, just a bit lechy.’

  ‘Now, Princess,’ Vince said, dumping the drink rather ungraciously in front of Pippa. ‘Jesus, would you steal my grave as quick?’ He gestured at his stool.

  ‘Sorry.’ Pippa began to get up.

  A large sweaty paw clamped onto her shoulder. ‘Not at all,’ Vince said. ‘I’m only slagging you. Stay where you are. What do you think I am? An ogre? You sit and enjoy your drink, darling.’

  ‘Cheers!’ Pippa said, flashing him one of her sexiest smiles.

  Over the next hour the group surrounding them began to filter away one by one. Vince and his two mates had turned out to be great craic. ‘We’ve had a liquid lunch,’ Vince explained to Pippa. ‘Ah, sure it’s nearly Christmas!’

  ‘I’m right there with you!’ Pippa said, loving the attention, not to mention the free drinks.

  By now Skye had gulped two pints of water, but still wanted to go home, and said as much to Pippa.

  ‘No worries,’ she said, unable to hide her disappointment.

  ‘You stay here. I’ll grab a taxi outside.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Pippa asked. ‘I know I should probably come with you, but it’s a laugh in here and these guys are brilliant. I haven’t put my hand in my pocket since I arrived. This is my kind of piss-up – flowing booze for free!’

  ‘Will you be okay?’ Skye asked uncertainly.

  ‘You bet! I won’t be too late. I’ve to work tomorrow so I don’t want to be falling in the door looking like I’ve spent the night in a urinal.’

  ‘I don’t think Sue would appreciate that,’ Skye confirmed.

  ‘Especially now that we’re a Chanel stockist,’ Pippa said.

  ‘Sue’s tried to get me to come and work with her over the years and it’s just not my scene. Sounds like your idea of heaven on earth, though.’ Skye grinned.

  ‘You said it!’ Pippa shrilled, as she kissed Skye. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you now?’

  ‘I’m not raining on your parade,’ she said, as her eyes crossed again. ‘Nighty-night.’