by Jackie D.
Audrey took a small step forward, and Harlow could feel her breath against her cheek. “I always feel a little desperate around you.”
Harlow weakened at her words and the flush through her body was instant. “Sometimes, when we’re near each other, my hands shake from holding back.”
Audrey slid her hands up Harlow’s arms and around her neck. “Why do you hold back?”
Harlow was struggling to string words together to make a sentence. “I’m not sure I’m what you want.”
“Harlow.” Audrey dipped her head, and Harlow felt the softness of her lips, barely touching hers. “Kiss me.”
Harlow’s response was instinctive. She moved against Audrey’s waiting mouth. All the anticipation that had been building, all the need, all the desire, all the longing, spilled out. The kiss felt like getting to the top of the roller coaster, right before the world fell out from under you. Audrey pulled her tighter against her body. Harlow was astonished by the way her mind and body seemed to collapse. She was disarmed and at the same time enchanted. But there was nothing ordinary about what was happening to her. She knew things would never be the same after this. She would never be the same.
Audrey backed up against the wall of the pool and pulled Harlow with her. Harlow was searching for the last bit of restraint she’d tucked away. She didn’t want this to be like any other time she’d found herself in the throes of craving.
Audrey put her forehead against Harlow’s, panting. “I don’t know what you do to me.” She kissed her again, groaning softly.
Harlow took Audrey’s legs and wrapped them around her waist. She needed to be closer to her. Audrey ran her mouth along Harlow’s neck to her ear, biting and tugging on her earlobe. Harlow was smoldering with arousal, about to explode into a full conflagration that would consume her entirely. The feel of Audrey’s bare skin against her own, the way she shuddered with each little exploration—it was euphoric. If she didn’t hit the pause button soon, there would be no turning back. She wanted more for their first time than to be in a pool. She wanted more for Audrey.
Harlow leaned back and kissed Audrey’s forehead. “We should slow down.”
Audrey’s eyes were hazy with need, and now a bit of confusion. “Slow down?”
Harlow kissed her. “If this goes much further, I’m not sure we’ll be able to stop.”
Audrey cupped Harlow’s face. “Do you want to stop?”
Harlow leaned in to kiss her but stopped herself. “No, I don’t. But everything has been so wonderful, and I’d like that to be perfect too.”
Audrey’s confused look melted into a smile. “You’re much sweeter than you let anyone think.”
Harlow ran her hand through Audrey’s wet hair. “Let’s go on a date tomorrow.”
Audrey kissed her. “I’d like that.”
Harlow reluctantly let her go. “Pick you up at nine for breakfast?”
Audrey rested her forehead against Harlow’s chest before looking up at her. “I’ll be here.” She kissed her cheek, letting her mouth linger. “Good night, Harlow.”
Harlow watched Audrey walk out of the pool and into the house. She let herself fall backward into the water. The liquid washed over her, cooling her flushed body. Audrey was so much more than she’d anticipated. She was so much more than she’d ever imagined. The fog she didn’t even know she’d been stumbling through was beginning to lift.
Chapter Fifteen
Audrey’s phone lit up next to her bed with a text message at seven the next morning. She saw it was Kylie and called her immediately.
“Morning.”
Kylie gasped. “Oh my gosh. You called me, so I assume you aren’t lying in bed next to her. Tell me everything. Why aren’t you lying in bed next to her?”
Audrey smiled and put a hand over her face, still feeling the remnants of a wonderful evening. “All we did was kiss.” She sat up and propped herself against the headboard. “I mean, it was probably the best kiss of my life, but that’s all that happened. She said she wanted to take it slow.”
“How do you feel?”
Audrey felt her face flush, and she tried not to smile like a smitten teenager. “I feel…I don’t know, lighter? I feel happy, and I’m excited about the rest of this trip.”
“She looks like she’d be a great kisser. You know how some people just have that look? I’ve always thought that about her.”
Audrey got out of bed and walked out onto the balcony. Her heart jumped when she saw Harlow jogging along the shoreline. “So, you’ve thought about kissing her?” She laughed.
“I may be straight, but I’m not dead.”
Audrey watched Harlow move next to the water. She reminded her of a tiger—graceful and powerful. “Well, I can assure you that your imagination is on point. You may even be underestimating it.”
Kylie sighed. “I guess I’ll live vicariously through you for the time being. What are you two doing today?”
Audrey smiled up into the morning sun. “I’m not sure. She’s taking me on a date.”
“So, you’re sleeping with her tonight?”
Audrey laughed. “I’ve always loved your no-nonsense approach.” She watched Harlow peel off her shirt and use it to dry off her face. Her stomach flipped, and little prickles appeared on her skin. “Probably. I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself.”
Kylie squealed. “I’m going to need all the details. Even if you come upon one, and are like, maybe I should skip it. Don’t. Do not skip it.”
Audrey walked back into her room and started pulling clothes from the dresser. “Anything exciting going on there?”
She could hear Kylie flipping through some papers. “Jane sent over several scripts with notes on which ones she thinks you should take.” She could hear the frustration in Kylie’s voice. “I don’t know why she still does that to you. You’ve never made a bad choice.”
“She’s my agent. It’s her job.”
“She also called to see if you made it there safely.”
Audrey turned on the shower. “That’s weird. I texted her and said we’d arrived.”
“Did she ask you for the address of where you’re staying? She asked me, and I hate when she does that.”
“What did you tell her?” Audrey stripped off her clothes and put her hand under the water to check the temperature.
“That I didn’t know.”
“Thank you.” The last thing she needed was for Jane to get some harebrained idea of having her and Harlow photographed together. She wasn’t sure she’d go that far, but she wasn’t convinced she wouldn’t, either. Jane had laser focus when it came to getting press.
“Of course. Put on sunscreen, and, Audrey?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s okay to be happy.”
Audrey smiled. “I love you. I’ll call you later.”
Audrey showered and started to get ready for the day. This was the first time since she could remember that she didn’t know exactly where she was going, who she’d see, and what would be expected from her. It was freeing, and she wasn’t sure if that was because of her lack of knowledge or thanks to Harlow.
Finally getting to kiss Harlow had been everything she’d thought it would be. Harlow was passionate while still being gentle. She made Audrey feel desired while still being patient. And that kiss—Jesus. Audrey could have stayed in that moment, with those feelings, for hours. Probably longer. Definitely longer.
The chemistry between them was like nothing Audrey had ever experienced. It felt like electricity coursing through her. Every touch, every bit of anticipation, every silent look—it was enough to make Audrey long for Harlow in a way she never had. The problem with chemistry is it sometimes blows up in your face. She shook off the thought, remembering Kylie’s words. It’s okay to be happy.
* * *
Harlow had woken up right before five. The energy coursing through her wouldn’t let her stay in bed, so she decided to exercise it out of her system. She’d managed to lift w
eights, run seven miles, shower, and cook breakfast by the time Audrey came down the stairs at fifteen minutes to nine.
“Did you sleep well?” Harlow pushed a cup of coffee across the breakfast bar and put fruit and eggs next to it. “I figured I couldn’t go wrong with eggs and fruit. Kind of hard to mess that up.”
Audrey’s eyes lit up when she saw the coffee. “You cook too?”
Harlow slung the kitchen towel over her shoulder. “I wouldn’t call eggs cooking, but yes, I can cook. My menu is pretty limited. I got by as a kid throwing things together with what we had in the house.”
Audrey looked slightly pained. “You were kind of the parent, weren’t you?”
This wasn’t how she wanted to start the morning. She’d said it without thinking because she was becoming used to not guarding herself around Audrey.
Harlow took a sip of her coffee. “I make a pretty kick-ass Pop-Tart too, if you’re interested.”
Audrey speared a piece of watermelon with her fork. “You’re an expert deflector when it comes to your family.”
“It’s just not something I like discussing. There’s a lot of demons shoved in my proverbial closets.” Harlow wasn’t sure how else to explain it, so she landed on the truth.
“I find that hard to believe. You’re one of the most famous pop stars on the planet. If there were anything that bad, someone would’ve said something by now.” Audrey raised an eyebrow as if to prove a point.
Harlow looked into her coffee cup. “It’s not that they’re that bad to anyone else, but they’re bad to me. Any time family stuff gets printed it’s pretty brief because there’s not much to tell. Drunk dead dad, absent mom. Not exactly gripping stuff, and my mom hasn’t talked to the press so far, so they have nothing else. The issues I had with my parents were a struggle Casper and I mostly faced on our own, and we’ve got our demons from it. I don’t want that negativity in my life now.”
Audrey swallowed a bite of eggs. “That must have been terribly isolating.”
Harlow took a piece of fruit from Audrey’s plate and popped it in her mouth. “It was. I’m not sure I would’ve survived without Casper. No matter how bad things were, at least we had each other.”
Audrey reached over and took her hand. Her eyes were earnest, and Harlow felt her heart swell. “I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you. I’m so sorry.”
Harlow put her hand over Audrey’s. “It was a long time ago.”
“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here. Please know that.” Audrey squeezed her hand.
“Thank you,” Harlow said.
Harlow straightened and tapped the counter a few times. She’d been looking forward to this since Audrey had left the pool the night before. She wanted to shake off this dreary sidetrack into her sad history.
“I’m really looking forward to spending the day with you.”
Audrey finished up the last of her breakfast. “You going to tell me where you’re taking me?”
Harlow smiled but didn’t say anything. She was taking the chance this would be an activity Audrey loved as much as she did. It was a quick fifteen-minute drive to the harbor, which was a good thing since Audrey peppered her with questions about their destination the whole time. She’d find out soon enough, but it was still a fun game to play.
They pulled into the parking lot, and Audrey looked around quickly. “Are you taking me on a boat?”
Harlow pointed to the pier where her favorite captain was waiting. “Yes, but more specifically, we’re going whale watching.”
Audrey stared at her for so long, Harlow thought she might have made a mistake. That thought was dispelled when Audrey grabbed her face and kissed her. It was probably intended to be a quick thank you, but the kiss became more fervent, and Harlow had half a mind to blow off the excursion and take Audrey back to the house.
A handful of kisses passed before Harlow pulled back. “We either need to get on the boat or go back to the house.”
Audrey kissed her again and smiled. “Let’s get on the boat. I’ve always wanted to do this.” She unbuckled her seat belt and turned to look at her. “You’re incredibly thoughtful.”
“Thank you,” Harlow said, her heart swelling even more. She loved making Audrey happy.
Captain Emily Hill was waiting for them when they climbed aboard. She came over and took the two small bags Harlow had brought with her and helped Audrey step down into the rocking vessel.
“I was beginning to wonder if you were blowing me off.” Emily used her hand to block the morning sun from her eyes.
“Have I ever?” Harlow hugged her.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you did for Audrey Knox,” Emily whispered.
Harlow patted her back in response. “Thanks for fitting this into your schedule. I know you’re busy this time of year.”
“I always have time for you.” Emily turned her attention to Audrey and stuck her hand out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Emily Hill.”
Audrey took her hand and smiled broadly. “Audrey Knox. It’s a pleasure to meet you, and thank you for taking us.”
Emily started untying the ropes from the dock and getting the boat ready to leave the harbor. Harlow watched Audrey look on with amazement. She seemed to be studying Emily, wanting to take in everything she was doing. She wondered if this kind of unbridled curiosity was unique to Audrey or a trait common among actors. Either way, Harlow found it endearing. She liked that Audrey was still in love with the world around her. Their lifestyles made it easy to become jaded, or worse, cynical. Audrey wasn’t either of those things.
Harlow stood against the railing, watching the water lap against the side of the boat as they started moving. The song she’d been working on started to scratch at her. The melody was coming in small increments, and she never knew when her brain would produce the next clue. She hummed to herself, thinking it would make a perfect bridge.
Audrey slid her arm around her waist and snuggled into her shoulder. It was as if she knew Harlow was working on something because she watched her but never interrupted. Harlow wasn’t sure if she was being rude by not saying anything, but when her mind got to this place, she could lose her train of thought if she didn’t see it through. Harlow pulled out her cell phone and hummed the bridge into her voice memos.
Audrey kissed her cheek after she’d put the phone back in her pocket. “I always wondered how you came up with your music. I love watching it happen. Does it always come to you in obscure moments?”
Harlow shook her head. “It comes to me in all different ways. I have hundreds of partial thoughts scribbled on napkins. There are thousands of short voice memos on my phone with bits and pieces of everything I’ve ever worked on.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I really liked the part I just heard.”
“Thanks,” Harlow said, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I think I’ve always had a bit of imposter syndrome. I’m always worried the last one was a fluke, and the next won’t live up to expectations.”
“Seven albums, five number one hits, twenty-five songs in the top ten, and ten Grammys says you are definitely not a fluke. Especially when you take into account that you’re the first woman to win album of the year more than once for your solo recordings. You took home album of the year at twenty, making you the youngest person ever to win that award.” Audrey blushed when she stopped talking and turned her attention back to the water.
It pleased Harlow to hear Audrey ramble off her accomplishments. Not because she wanted praise or because she wanted Audrey to be impressed, but because it meant Audrey had spent time learning about her.
Harlow put her hand under Audrey’s chin and tilted it up so she could see her. “You have two Oscar nominations, three Golden Globe wins, and are the highest-grossing action heroine of all time.” She kissed her. “I guess we’ve kept track of each other for quite some time.”
“You’re better than I ever imagined you’d be,” Audrey said against Harlow’s lips.
“You’re exactly who I thought you’d be.”
“Humpback on the starboard side,” Emily yelled.
The whale was magnificent. It had to be at least fifty feet, and its flippers seemed to take up a third of its body. The whale circled the boat like it was the one doing the watching. It rubbed its enormous body against the side of the boat, turning on its side and sticking its flipper in the air. The experience was pure magic, and Harlow was beside herself. She’d been whale watching before but had never seen one this close.
Audrey seemed to be in awe. She was glued to the side of the boat, watching the whale’s antics. It seemed almost playful, and Audrey had taken to shouting welcoming phrases at the creature.
They spent the next few hours enjoying the glistening ocean and gorgeous Monterey coastline. Harlow had planned ahead and brought them a picnic lunch and some local wine. As the day started to disappear into the coastal skyline, Harlow pulled out her camera. She wanted to capture this time with Audrey. She wanted these pictures as tangible memories to take with her on tour. She wanted something to hold in her hands when the inevitable feeling of isolation pushed against her on night number seventy-five in a random hotel room, in a city she couldn’t wander through. She needed to be able to remember how real this moment felt.
Audrey leaned against the boat railing. The way she smiled and looked up at the sky accentuated her neck and shoulders. Harlow thought of all the movies she’d seen Audrey in over the years. She was undoubtedly stunning and photogenic, but she’d never looked more beautiful than she did now. Harlow felt lucky to exist with her like this. She was thankful that Audrey had been open to letting her in, and she was also slightly petrified that she’d ruin it somehow.
“You look deep in thought,” Audrey said. She walked over and slid her arms around Harlow’s neck. “What are you thinking about?”
