by Jackie D.
“How lucky I am to be here with you.” Harlow didn’t know if she sounded ridiculous or cheesy, and it didn’t matter. She wanted Audrey to know exactly how she was feeling.
Audrey looked stunned. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to your sudden bursts of honesty.” She kissed her. “It’s so refreshing.”
The sky clapped loudly, and Emily waved to get their attention. “We have to head back. There’s a small storm coming in.”
Harlow nodded her understanding. She was disappointed they’d have to cut their trip an hour short, but she was looking forward to spending the evening alone with Audrey.
Chapter Sixteen
Audrey watched the rain cascading down the side of the car window. The car was quiet except for the swishing motion of the wipers against the windshield. She loved watching the streetlights dance against the raindrops, creating their own colors and movements. Harlow’s hand rested on her leg, and Audrey thought about how right it all felt. She should be terrified, but the more time she spent with Harlow, the more comfortable she was feeling with the idea of falling. She was falling for Harlow.
They pulled into the garage, and Audrey leaned her head against the seat. “Will you play for me?”
Harlow put the back of her fingers against Audrey’s cheek. “After we take showers. Your skin is ice cold.”
Audrey kissed her hand. “Deal.”
After her shower, she changed into jeans and a sweater. She pulled her hair up in a loose bun and headed down to the small recording studio near the pool. The space was warm and cozy. Half of the room was devoted to recording equipment, a couch, and shelves stuffed with records. The other half of the room, which was sectioned off by a glass barrier, had several instruments, microphones, and a few chairs.
Audrey ran her fingers over the edges of the records, wanting a glimpse into Harlow’s inspiration. Harlow’s taste in music was vast. The artists ranged from Billie Holiday to Patsy Cline, and a thousand in between. Audrey’s fingers thumped against the spines of the records, and she couldn’t help but wonder about their significance to Harlow. These records meant something. They weren’t kept in her house where she could listen to them at her leisure. They were intentionally here—at her hideaway.
“Do you have a favorite?” Harlow leaned against the doorjamb.
Audrey’s chest warmed at the sound of Harlow’s raspy voice. “I’m afraid I haven’t had the same exposure to music as you.”
Harlow pushed herself off the jamb and walked toward her. “You don’t need to be a musician to have a favorite artist.”
Audrey pulled Tapestry by Carole King from the shelf. “This one reminds me of being a kid.”
Harlow took the record from her and flipped it over. “Bit young for this, no?”
Audrey shoved her shoulder. “My mom listened to it on repeat. I must have heard this record a million times.”
“It’s a classic.” She pulled another darkened spine from the shelf and handed it to Audrey. “Bella Donna by Stevie Nicks is one of my favorites.”
Audrey stared at Stevie Nicks holding a white cockatoo. “Why?”
Harlow grabbed one of the several guitars hanging on the wall and sat on the piano bench. “I had the most fun playing it.” She pulled a guitar pick from her pocket. “I taught myself to play the guitar and piano by listening and playing. I know all of these records by heart.”
Audrey looked at the shelves again. “You know every song on every record?”
Harlow laughed. “Pretty much. We couldn’t afford music lessons, so this is how I learned. I got my first guitar and keyboard from a secondhand store after washing cars, mowing lawns, and recycling glass bottles for a year.”
Audrey sat on the couch facing Harlow. “Play me your favorite song.”
Harlow smiled and strummed down the guitar once. “This was originally recorded by Fleetwood Mac, and later redone by the Dixie Chicks—or the Chicks as they’re known now.”
Harlow’s fingers moved across the guitar with ease and intention. It was like watching an artist beginning to paint a canvass. There was tenderness in her voice as the lyrics to “Landslide” fell from her lips. Audrey was familiar with the song, but this was a different experience altogether. Harlow had changed some of the inflections at the end of the words and extended vowels that seemed to add more texture to the song.
Harlow seemed to slip into the lyrics. She could tell by watching her that they not only held some unseen value but that she was able to transport herself to a memory attached to the harmony. It was then that she realized listening to Harlow sing was like being able to peek inside her soul. There was vulnerability and innocence woven through her attachment to the music. It was beautiful.
Harlow put the guitar down and turned to face the piano. Audrey recognized the chords to “A Thousand Years.” It sounded different without the violins in the background. It was almost haunting. With just the piano, the words that echoed promises of forever and trepidation seemed even more personal.
Audrey pushed herself off the couch, needing to be closer to Harlow. The urgency she was feeling was confounding. She understood what it was like to be someone else. In her younger years, it had been difficult to separate her experiences from the people she played. It was one of the reasons she’d been adamant about coming out—she needed to know who she was. She’d played a woman feverishly drawn to a man. She’d forced herself to put her mind into a fictitious character who felt as if their existence hinged on being able to touch the other person. It wasn’t until this moment that she’d ever had a glimpse of how strong that genuine emotion could be. The invisible string drawing her to Harlow was stronger than anything she could’ve imagined.
She sat next to Harlow on the piano bench. Harlow smiled as her fingers continued to glide along the ivory keys. Audrey felt her body temperature rise under Harlow’s attention. She put her hand on Harlow’s leg. Her pulse quickened when Harlow moved closer. Audrey pushed Harlow’s blond hair away from her neck, her hand finally settling against the perfect curvature. She watched closely as the pulse point under Harlow’s tender skin picked up speed. It was intoxicating to realize she had this effect on Harlow. Audrey wanted Harlow to feel what she was feeling. She wanted to know that what was happening between them was mutual. She wanted to know if Harlow felt as undone and put together as she did when they were this close to each other.
“I love watching you play,” Audrey whispered against Harlow’s ear.
Harlow shivered slightly. “I love it when you watch me.”
Audrey’s hand fell away from Harlow’s neck and she slid it under her sweatshirt. She ran her fingers back and forth across her spine. “How does it make you feel?”
“It’s like being on fire and pulled into the ocean at the same time.” Harlow turned her full attention to Audrey. Her cheeks flushed, and her eyes were slightly hazy. “You make me feel everything all at once.”
Audrey couldn’t handle the minuscule separation between their mouths for another second. She leaned in and ran her mouth along Harlow’s lips. Harlow’s breath hitched, and she pulled Audrey closer. Audrey had been kissed hundreds of times before, but those kisses had only scratched the surface. Her body reacted to Harlow’s need, and she allowed herself to be pulled in.
The kissing from the previous night had been some of the best Audrey ever experienced, but it had nothing on this. Harlow’s passion that always smoldered right below the surface seemed to spill out of her, and Audrey loved being on the receiving end. Her lips were tender and forceful. Staying in control had always come easily to Audrey, but that was quickly slipping away under Harlow’s soft and purposeful actions.
Harlow’s thumbs moved over her cheeks and down to her neck. The movement felt so soft and sweet, as if Harlow was memorizing the way she felt. Each stroke increased her need. She wanted Harlow to devour her.
Harlow pulled Audrey up, placing her against the piano keys. The barrage of random notes that thrummed out of the instrument m
imicked the urgency Audrey felt growing inside her. Harlow ran her lips against Audrey’s jawline and along her neck. Audrey loved the way she kissed and nipped the sensitive skin on her neckline. She pulled at the bottom of Harlow’s sweatshirt, hating the barriers of clothing that separated their bodies. Audrey wanted to feel all of her. Harlow obliged by reaching behind her head and pulling off the hoodie. Audrey took a moment to appreciate what she’d just revealed as Harlow dropped the garment next to her. Harlow was an exquisite combination of strength and femininity. Her curves and lines were like a sculpture, and Audrey wanted to run her hands over her like an artist.
Harlow stepped between Audrey’s legs again and slid her hands under Audrey’s sweater. She pulled it off and let it fall next to her discarded sweatshirt. Audrey watched Harlow’s face as she traced the outside of her breast with the back of her hand. Harlow’s breathing had increased, and the change in her body language was painfully sexy.
Audrey used her legs to pull Harlow against her. When their bare skin finally touched, waves of arousal crashed through her. She gave her mind over to her senses and allowed herself to be devoured. The fevered kissing, the soft moans, the feel of Harlow’s hands on her body—it was like falling without the worry of landing.
Harlow unbuttoned Audrey’s jeans and slid them down her legs while the keys of the piano continued to give in to her weight by proclaiming different notes. Harlow kissed her way up the inside of her thigh until Harlow bit down slightly through her underwear. The anticipation of what was to come caused Audrey’s hips to buck slightly, and Harlow grinned.
She slid Audrey’s underwear down while kissing her lower abdomen, and then she skimmed her hands up and down the expanse of Audrey’s body as she moved her mouth between her legs. Audrey slid one of her hands into Harlow’s hair as her mouth finally connected with her sex. She could hear herself whimpering, and with each swipe of Harlow’s tongue, her breathing became more desperate. Harlow continued with her rhythmic movements as she slid her fingers inside, pressing into her. Audrey looked down the length of her body. Her chest and stomach expanded and collapsed with more urgency, and there were small droplets of sweat starting to bead on her exposed skin.
Harlow continued to increase the speed and the pressure—pushing Audrey closer to the edge. She didn’t want it to end. She wanted to stay in this heightened state of arousal for as long as possible. But her body wasn’t going to let that happen. It climbed to the threshold of orgasm and went tumbling over the side. Her legs shook as she pushed herself harder into Harlow. The release was explosive, and she let her head drop back as she cried out Harlow’s name.
Harlow stood and held her, keeping her from collapsing to the ground. Audrey blinked, trying desperately to regain her senses. She buried her face into Harlow’s neck, loving the way her salty skin tasted against her lips. When she was finally able to get her breathing under control, she pushed Harlow backward toward the couch.
Harlow’s legs hit the front of the couch, and she fell back, taking Audrey with her. They both laughed as Audrey continued to kiss her. Audrey made quick work of Harlow’s jeans and underwear. She lay on top of her, marveling at the way their bodies seemed to fit so perfectly together. Harlow’s eyes tracked her every move. She loved having her undivided attention, but not as much as she loved watching Harlow’s face change as she slid her hand between her legs.
Harlow’s head pushed back into the couch as Audrey moved deeper inside her. She could’ve watched Harlow’s descent into euphoria for hours, but she couldn’t keep herself from kissing her. As Harlow moved under her, Audrey found herself growing closer to another orgasm. She’d wanted to return the pleasure Harlow had awarded her, but seeing and feeling her so turned on was undoing her all over again. Harlow raked her nails down Audrey’s back as their orgasms swallowed them both.
Audrey put her head on Harlow’s chest, loving the way her rapidly beating heart sounded. Harlow pushed Audrey’s damp hair away from her forehead as she kissed the top of her head. They lay there together in silence for several minutes.
Harlow kissed her shoulder. “That was—”
“I know,” Audrey said as she tenderly kissed her chest.
Audrey wanted to stay awake. She wanted to talk about what was going to happen next. It wasn’t that she needed Harlow to commit to her, but their lives were complicated and very public. She wanted to know if this was the beginning of something, or if Harlow saw it differently. But instead, she let herself be soothed to sleep by the gentle stroke of Harlow’s hand on her back.
Chapter Seventeen
Harlow listened to the rain continue to pelt the windows of her small studio. Audrey had drifted off to sleep, and Harlow was allowing herself to enjoy their closeness. She wasn’t sure what any of this meant for either of them. Her love life was littered with one-night stands and near misses. She’d intentionally never gotten close to anyone, but she was pretty sure that wasn’t what she wanted with Audrey. She was compelled to be near her. She didn’t know what to do with any of that.
Harlow moved delicately off the couch, careful not to wake Audrey. She pulled on her jeans and sweatshirt, then padded barefoot into the glassed-off room and shut the door behind her. She wanted to reconcile her growing feelings with her innate desire to bolt at the first sign of real intimacy. She picked up the headphones from the keyboard and slid them over her ears.
Her face ran hot when she started playing, thinking about the piano on the other side of the glass and what had taken place there just over an hour ago. She knew next to nothing about being in a relationship or truly caring about someone, but she wanted to try. She just didn’t understand how to navigate those waters. Harlow continued to develop the melody to the song she’d been working on for weeks. This next album would be a peek inside her heart that she’d never shown to the world before, and it had everything to do with the woman lying naked twenty feet from her.
“Should I take it personally that you left me on the couch?” Audrey’s voice filled her headphones.
Harlow looked through the glass and smiled. “Not at all. I guess I was feeling inspired.”
“Should I leave you alone?”
Harlow took her headphones off and waved for her to come inside the room. Audrey had put her clothes back on and was adorable in all her nervousness. Her hair was messy, and her skin was still rosy from exertion. She looked slightly hesitant as she walked toward her, and Harlow felt guilty for having left her alone.
Audrey sat on her lap and wrapped her arms around her neck. “You okay?”
Harlow kissed her. “Better than okay.” She tucked Audrey’s hair behind her ear. “Do you want to go to the People’s Choice Awards with me?” She’d asked without thinking and only slightly regretted it based on the look on Audrey’s face.
Audrey’s eyes slightly narrowed. “Is that a step you’re ready to take?”
Harlow hadn’t considered how to answer that question, but she knew she wanted to spend as much time with Audrey as possible. “I’ll be on tour, but I’ll be at the awards show. I thought it would be a good chance for us to get to see each other.”
Audrey kissed Harlow’s jaw. “I would love to go with you, but I already promised my mom I’d take her. She’s been really looking forward to it, and I don’t want to make her feel awkward by making her the third wheel.”
“I understand.” Harlow pushed away the tiny feeling of relief. Showing up with Audrey, publicly, would put her private life firmly in the public eye. Maybe it was better to take it slow…
“But,” Audrey whispered, getting closer to Harlow’s ear. “I’m all yours for the after-parties.”
“Deal.” Harlow pressed her lips into Audrey’s and delighted at the soft moan that escaped her throat.
The way Audrey melted into her made Harlow feel as if her skin was on fire. Every flexed muscle, every tug on her lip, every caress was a blaze of its own. She was light-headed and supremely focused all at the same time. Audrey was like a drug, a
nd she wanted more.
“Do you hear that?” Audrey asked as she tried to catch her breath.
“I don’t hear anything,” Harlow said as she greedily caught Audrey’s mouth with her own.
Audrey put a hand on Harlow’s chest and pushed her back. “Seriously, I think someone is here.”
Harlow tilted her head, but they were in a soundproof room, and it was difficult to hear anything. She glanced over at the door Audrey had left cracked open. She saw a shadow and then heard someone curse.
“What the hell.” Harlow stood and put Audrey behind her. She slid the light controls for the mixing room up to high. She hadn’t been expecting to see him but was relieved. “What the hell, Casper?”
He had the decency to look apologetic as he came into the recording room. “I was hoping to get in and out before you saw me. I thought you’d be up at the main house.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I’m really sorry.” He shifted his weight back and forth. “Hey, Audrey.”
“What are you doing here?” Harlow wasn’t sure if she was angry or worried.
Casper usually wasn’t one to drop by unannounced, and she thought it was even stranger that he would do so when he knew she was with Audrey. She didn’t think he was spying on her as much as something must have taken precedence over her privacy.
“I was coming to pick up the 1959 Les Paul. We’re going to auction it off for charity.” Casper looked around and then pointed to the wall. “There she is.”
Harlow felt a surge of anger. “I never agreed to auction it off.”
Casper delicately took the guitar off the wall but didn’t bother looking at her. “Yes, you did. We talked about it last week.”
There had been very few items she’d been able to hold on to from their childhood, and almost all of them were in that recording studio. They were the only happy memories she had, and she wouldn’t part with them for any price or any reason. The guitar her brother held was the first one she’d ever touched. It was the only tangible tether she had to the only adult who’d ever cared about her. Watching him hold it was like watching him grab a chunk of her heart, and he was willing to sell it.
