by Jackie D.
“What’s your name?”
“Monica.”
Harlow hugged her again. “I’ll see you on Saturday, Monica.”
Later that night, when Harlow stood on the stage listening to the twenty thousand fans screaming her name, all she could think about was how many more Monicas were out there. Casper had talked about the negative impacts of her being in a public relationship, but what about the positive? Visibility was important. Knowing there were people like you out there was important. She’d been so concerned about what questions could mean for her career and privacy, she’d never considered what more public relationships would mean to the LGBTQ+ community—especially the youth.
She sat at the large black piano that had been wheeled out on stage. “This song is for my new friend, Monica.”
Harlow sang one of her most famous songs and intentionally changed the pronouns to she/her. It wasn’t difficult. The song had been written about a woman. She’d just never had a reason to proclaim as much. She needed to be more like Monica.
Casper handed her a water bottle when she stepped off stage. “Nice show.”
She took it and gulped down as much as she could with her limited breath. “Thanks.”
She waited for him to comment on the final song of the night, but he didn’t. “I need to head back to LA.”
“Everything okay?” Harlow was relieved he wasn’t going to make an issue out of what just happened, but she was concerned he was leaving.
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
She grabbed his arm. “What’s going on?”
He looked like he wasn’t going to answer at first, but he didn’t. “Just some stuff with a contract I need to be there for.”
He was lying, she could see it in his eyes, but Harlow released his arm. “I’ll see you in San Jose.”
“I’ll be there.” He kissed her cheek and left.
The drive back to the hotel was even lonelier than normal. She turned the conversation with Casper over in her head several times. Something was going on with him, and she had no idea if she should be concerned.
Still distracted, she showered and called Audrey. “Hey.”
“Hey, superstar,” Audrey said, her voice much more enthusiastic than she’d expected for two in the morning.
“Why are you still awake?”
Audrey squealed. “I got that author under contract to write the screenplay—it’s the first step in creating my own production company. We still need to get the funding, but I have several possibilities lined up, and they’re looking really good. I was going to wait until I saw you to tell you, but I’m just too excited. I’ve been celebrating with Kylie. How was your show?”
Harlow wanted to tell her about Casper and her unease when he left, but she decided not to burden Audrey. She was so excited about her project, and the last thing she wanted to do was bring her down.
“I’m so happy for you. I knew you could do it.”
“Thank you for having faith in me.” Audrey squealed again. “I’m so excited about this. It will be a game changer for my career.”
“You deserve it. I’m proud of you.”
“I can’t wait to see you. We can celebrate together.”
“Absolutely. I’ll see you in two days.”
It sounded like Audrey brought the phone closer to her mouth. “I miss you. I can’t wait to kiss you.”
Harlow smiled as she tucked herself in under the sheets. “I miss you too. Congratulations. Now, go continue the celebration. I’ll see you soon.”
“Don’t forget the kissing. I want lots of kissing.”
Harlow switched off the light. “All the kissing.”
“Night, Harlow.”
“Good night, Audrey.”
Harlow plugged her phone into the charger and closed her eyes. She tried to focus on Audrey and on the look on Monica’s face when she gave her the tickets. That’s what she wanted to see, but she couldn’t get Casper out of her mind. She needed to find out what was really going on with him because she had a feeling it wasn’t good.
Chapter Twenty-five
Audrey was amazed as the limo waited to pull into the VIP entrance at the SAP Center in San Jose. There were thousands of people in line waiting for their turn to enter. People were decked out in creatively decorated shirts, many were holding signs, and others bounced around with extraordinary excitement.
“How long has it been since you’ve been to a concert?” Kylie looked amused.
Audrey shook her head. “At least a decade.” She pointed to the bouncing fans. “Is it always like this?”
Her mom joined her at the window. “I haven’t seen anything like this since Elvis.”
Audrey bumped her mom. “You’re not old enough to have ever seen Elvis.”
“No, but I watched him on television when I was a little girl. Your grandma used to say he had the devil in his hips.”
Audrey laughed, picturing her long passed grandmother saying exactly that. “She would’ve fainted seeing Harlow dance around the stage.”
The car stopped, and two men in suits opened the door. “We’re here to escort you and your party in, Ms. Knox.”
Audrey stepped out of the vehicle. It took only a few moments for the people at the end of the line to recognize her. Many started yelling, waving, and pointing. Audrey waved back and was going to walk over to take selfies, but the security detail had other plans. They stepped between her and the growing crowd, directing her toward the door.
The larger of the two men leaned down to talk to her. “If you’re going to stop for photos, we need advance notice to block off the area.”
Audrey nodded. “Sorry about that. I hadn’t thought about it.”
“We’ll talk to your people before you arrive next time,” he said.
Next time. Audrey wondered how much Harlow’s security detail knew about their relationship. She’d clearly filled them in to some extent, but she didn’t know the scope of their duties. She made a mental note to ask Harlow if this was the norm so she knew what to expect next time.
The security guards led them through the bowels of the arena. There were hundreds of people scampering around. Huge metal boxes on wheels, people talking into headsets, and carts full of sparkling clothes moved past them.
The taller man pushed a door open and showed them into a small room. “We’ll come to get you right before the concert starts.” He pointed to a phone in the corner. “If you need anything, just pick up the receiver.”
The room didn’t look like it belonged with all the organized chaos taking place just a few feet away. There were large leather couches, a glass table, a full bar, snacks, and framed posters of Harlow at different concerts on the walls.
Kylie walked to the corner of the room and pulled a bottle of champagne from the bucket. “This is way better than anything you get on set.” She pulled three glasses from the shelf. “Maybe she’ll give me a job.”
“I clearly went into the wrong artistic field.” Audrey took the glass Kylie offered.
Her mom sipped from the glass. “Oh, honey, you have a terrible voice. It would’ve never worked out for you.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Audrey said and tried not to laugh.
Her mom shrugged. “It’s true.” She picked up a half sandwich from the tray. “I can’t wait to see the show. I know every single song by heart.”
Audrey took another sip of champagne. Her nerves were starting to fray from the anticipation of seeing Harlow. This level of excitement over a person was new to her, and her body didn’t know how to handle it. It made her jittery and a little on edge. She was undoubtedly looking forward to seeing the concert, but mostly she wanted to be able to hug Harlow. She missed touching her, seeing her, and being near her.
The phone rang, and Kylie held up a finger. “Hello?” She paused for a second, listening to whoever was on the other line. “Thank you.” She hung up the phone and smiled widely at Audrey. “Harlow is on her way down.”
Audrey’s hear
t rate increased exponentially. She didn’t know why her body reacted like a teenager at the mere mention of her name, but that’s precisely what happened. It was like being seventeen all over again. She checked her reflection in the mirror on the wall and ran her hands through her hair.
The door opened, and Harlow stepped inside. She was wearing a shimmering black V-neck bodysuit. Her black leather boots came right above her knees, and her blond hair hung over her shoulders. She looked absolutely stunning, but Audrey’s favorite part was the way her beautiful blue eyes gleamed with excitement when they landed on her. Harlow seemed to have her own gravitational pull, and Audrey was firmly in her orbit.
Harlow held her arms open. “Hey, beautiful.”
Audrey hugged her and inhaled as deeply as possible. “I missed you.” She kissed her cheek. “You look incredible.”
Harlow hugged both Kylie and her mom. “You guys have everything you need?”
Kylie raised her glass. “I was just telling Audrey that I should try to get a job with you.”
Harlow held Audrey’s hand as she continued to chat with her mom and Kylie. The simple gesture meant more to her than she could explain. It gave her a sense of normalcy, even if their lives were anything but that.
The door opened, and a frantic looking woman popped her head inside. “We need to get you in position, Harlow.”
Harlow put a finger under Audrey’s chin and tilted her head up to kiss her. “See you soon.”
The smaller guard appeared again. “I’ll take you to your seats.”
They followed him through several corridors before they stopped at a large roped-off section on the arena’s floor. The noise was incredible. The volume of screaming fans was enough to shake the walls. Thousands of tiny lights were littered throughout the crowd. People in the surrounding areas noticed their presence and started taking pictures of her with their phones.
“Do you want me to get security to have them stop?” Kylie yelled into her ear.
Audrey shook her head. “No, it’s okay. They’re here to have fun, just like us. They aren’t hurting anyone.”
The lights on the stage went completely out, and the screaming intensified another ten levels. Harlow’s voice came through the speakers, singing the first line to her most popular song from the new album. The massive doors that hid the stage décor started to slide open, and bright white light spilled into the arena. Fog machines poured their contents out along the stage, and Harlow’s silhouette appeared on the one-hundred-foot screen. The lighting strips that adorned the stage rails started flickering red to match the beat.
Harlow appeared on center stage, and the music went silent. She sang the first line one last time, the lights flashed in an array of colors, and pyrotechnics exploded above the stage. The song continued, and Harlow walked the stage like a cat. Her movements were perfectly timed, eloquent, and sexy as hell.
Her mom hugged her. “She’s even better than I thought she’d be.”
Audrey joined her mom and Kylie in singing along. She was keenly aware of the people still staring at her, taking pictures, and probably recording her. A part of her wondered what would be plastered all over Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and any other platform she wasn’t thinking of at the moment. The other part of her didn’t care. She didn’t care who knew she was at the concert, or that she was enjoying herself. She was proud of Harlow, and she didn’t care who knew it.
❖
Harlow only had forty-five seconds to change into her next outfit. The people who helped her could probably join the NASCAR Circuit with their precision. Shauna stepped up next to her on the platform, waiting for it to take them up for the next song.
“You’re in a good mood tonight,” Shauna said as she fixed her jacket.
Harlow fluffed her hair. “The show is going great.”
“You sure it doesn’t have to do with Audrey Knox sitting in the VIP section?” Shauna raised an eyebrow.
Harlow smiled as the lift started taking them to stage level. Her mood had everything to do with Audrey. She’d been looking forward to seeing her all week, but she hadn’t been prepared for the way her body reacted to seeing her standing in the lounge. Audrey looked gorgeous in her short red dress that exposed her stomach and shoulders. But she looked even better, dancing and singing along to the music. Harlow had never performed for a single person, but that’s how it felt on stage with Audrey in the audience. It didn’t matter that there were seventeen thousand people in the arena. Audrey was all she could see.
Harlow performed the next two songs with Shauna. She’d vastly improved in the short amount of time they’d been on tour together, and Harlow knew she was going places. She was happy to be part of her growth. There was nothing quite like being able to hone your skills on stage, and she knew Shauna would be better off for the experience. There hadn’t been any weirdness or awkward moments since the brief kiss they’d shared, and she was grateful for that. She wanted Shauna’s experience on tour to be a positive one.
Harlow sat at the piano just as she did every night of her tour. She played as she spoke to the crowd about how thankful she was for each of them attending. She talked about love, hope, and heartbreak. She gave them little glimpses into her songwriting and how she came up with her ideas. She glanced over at Audrey and couldn’t help but smile at her. At that moment, she decided to be a little more honest than she usually was with her fans.
Harlow let her fingers glide across the keys. “I wrote this next song when I was sixteen. The inspiration came from someone I went to high school with, and I was beyond smitten.” The crowd laughed. “I was sure I’d never fall that hard again.” She looked over at Audrey. “I was wrong.”
She finished the show and hurried to the dressing room to change. All she could think about was being with Audrey. She’d spent the whole night staring at her from the stage, and now she only had a few hours to devote to her. She called her security team and directed them to bring Audrey to her dressing room. The wardrobe team helped her out of her outfit and inspected it for damage.
Audrey knocked on the door and entered when the wardrobe director pulled it open. “Hi.”
Harlow pulled up her track pants. “Hi.” She looked at the wardrobe director. “I think that’s everything.”
She checked the items on the rack and nodded. “We’ll get these taken care of by tomorrow.” She pushed the rack past Audrey and shut the door.
Audrey was in her arms before she had a chance to put her T-shirt on. “You were incredible.” She kissed her hard. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
“I’m so glad you made it,” Harlow said and kissed her again. “I loved having you here.”
Audrey ran her hands up Harlow’s stomach and over her chest. “Do you know how much I’ve wanted you all night?”
Harlow picked her up and put her on the vanity. “I think I have a pretty good idea.” She kissed her neck and worked her way up to her ear.
Audrey wrapped her legs around Harlow’s back, pulling her closer. “My mom and Kylie are waiting.”
Harlow pulled her head back. “Okay, we can get going.”
Audrey pulled her back in. “No, don’t you dare. I just need a little more urgency out of you.”
Harlow slid her hand between Audrey’s legs. “How much urgency?”
Audrey mimicked Harlow’s movements and pushed hard against Harlow’s center, causing her to gasp. They matched each other’s rhythm until they were both breathing heavily. It was as if Harlow’s body had been waiting for her all her life. Her reaction was so strong, she could barely stay upright. Each stroke brought her closer to the edge, causing her whole body to tremble. The force and sound of Audrey’s breath on her neck increased until it hitched, and Audrey bit down on her shoulder and cried out. Harlow rested her head against Audrey’s, waiting for the shuddering to subside. She’d never come so fast or with so little effort.
Audrey turned Harlow’s face toward her and kissed her softly.
The kiss was sweet and full of longing. If Harlow was still holding anything back, it broke away at that moment. She had no defenses left when it came to Audrey Knox. She’d never belonged to anyone—not completely. She did now.
Chapter Twenty-six
Audrey tentatively touched Harlow’s hand as they walked, unsure how much PDA Harlow was comfortable with, and smiled when Harlow intertwined their fingers. The small gesture was another step forward in their relationship, and it made Audrey happy.
The security guard used his body to block them from the screaming fans and flash photography as he opened the door to the car. “We’ve called ahead to the restaurant. They’re expecting us. After dinner, we’ll escort you back to the hotel.”
“Thanks, Greg,” Harlow said as she climbed in the car.
Audrey grabbed Harlow’s hand as soon as they were seated. “What’s the other security guy’s name?”
Harlow pointed to the driver. “That’s Jim. They’ve both been with me for ten years.”
Audrey’s mom was practically vibrating with excitement. “Harlow, that was an amazing show. Thank you so much for having us. Truly, you were extraordinary.”
Harlow turned to look at her. “Thank you, Kathy. I appreciate you all coming. I’m sorry you all have to leave so quickly.”
“Audrey, you should really just spend the night.”
Kylie jumped in. “Nope. Can’t do it. I know that was the original plan, but we had to move things around. We have the first read through for the new film tomorrow morning, and then two meetings in the afternoon.” She used the back of her hand to touch Audrey’s cheek. “Are you feeling okay? You feel warm.”
Audrey felt the burn of embarrassment flush her neck up to her forehead. “I feel great.” She smiled, hoping to dissuade any further questioning.
The last thing she wanted to do was dwell on the subject or draw more attention to herself and have her mom realize she’d just had a quickie in an arena dressing room. Harlow squeezed her leg, and a jolt of excitement shot through her. Audrey shifted in her seat to be closer to Harlow. The heat from her body, the way it felt pressed against her, the way she smelled—Audrey had limited time to imprint this moment into her memory. It would be three weeks before she saw her again, and she’d need this anchor to get through.
