by Jackie D.
The car pulled up outside the restaurant, and Audrey was relieved to see no paparazzi waiting outside. Greg got out of the car and went into the building. He emerged a few minutes later and pulled the car door open. They were escorted inside and into a small room in the back of the building.
The dinner conversation was light and fun. Audrey enjoyed being able to sit with Harlow and touch her during casual conversation. She watched fondly as her mom and Kiley interacted with her. It appeared they were nearly as enamored with Harlow as she was. Harlow was an attentive listener, funny, and engaging. Audrey knew she’d fallen hard for her, but it all came into crystal clear focus during this one meal. A sense of contentment overwhelmed her senses. Her three favorite women surrounded her, and she would’ve been perfectly happy to let the night stretch on into the early morning hours.
“I hate to do this,” Kylie said as she checked her watch. “We need to get to the airport. We told the pilot we’d be there in an hour.”
“Greg will take you there,” Harlow said.
Kylie and her mom hugged Harlow good-bye. More accurately, her mom hugged Harlow and rocked her back and forth several times before finally releasing her. Audrey would’ve been embarrassed had it not been so cute to see her fawn over her.
Greg dipped his head in from the back entrance. “You should say good-bye inside. There are photographers here now.”
“Thanks, Greg.” Harlow took her hands and kissed her knuckles. “I’m going to miss you.”
Audrey hugged her more forcefully than usual. “Me too.” She breathed as much of Harlow in as she could muster.
“The American Music Awards are in three weeks.”
Audrey wrapped her arms around her neck. “I know. I’m presenting.”
“Go with me.” Harlow ran her hands up and down Audrey’s back.
“I’d go anywhere with you.”
Harlow kissed her, and Audrey felt every nerve ending in her body burn. She absorbed the last drops she could out of their time together. Reluctantly, she took a step backward. If she was going to get to the plane on time, she couldn’t put it off any longer.
Audrey opened the door and was met with flashing cameras and people shouting questions. Greg did his best to shield her, but she was sure they managed to get a few shots. She watched as Harlow climbed into the car behind hers and was relieved they only had to make it a few feet.
Kylie held up her phone as the car pulled away. “You two are trending again. The speculation about whether or not you’re together is off the charts. Want to hear the couple name they’ve given you?”
Her mom leaned over Kylie’s shoulder. “Oh, hashtag Audlow. That’s cute. It could be worse.” Her mom rubbed her shoulder.
“What are the chances the speculation will die down?” Audrey stared out the car window, wishing she was still with Harlow.
“Zero,” Kylie said. “Are you worried?”
“Just about Harlow. You know I’m not bothered by it.”
“I’m sure everything will be fine, honey. Harlow is no stranger to the press. She can handle it,” her mom said.
Audrey took her mother’s words to heart. She was right. Harlow wasn’t new to this business, and she’d managed to stay at the top of her game for years. She needed to trust in her and what she knew they had together. There wasn’t another option besides giving her up, and that wasn’t going to happen.
Kylie closed her tablet and took a deep breath. “So there’s something that I’ve meant to talk to you about, and I’ve kind of been putting it off, but I can’t anymore.”
Audrey felt her defenses go up. She leaned forward. “Is everything okay?”
Kylie held her hands up. “Oh gosh, yes, everything is fine.” She smiled. “I didn’t mean to make that sound so dramatic, sorry.”
Audrey leaned back and let out a breath. “What’s up?”
“I finished my screenplay.” She pulled the tablet up against her chest. “I sent it out to a few studios, and I have a meeting tomorrow.”
Audrey grabbed Kylie and wrapped her in a hug. Her heart swelled with excitement. “Oh my God, that’s fantastic.” She kissed her cheek. “I’m so excited for you. You have to let me read it.”
“I don’t want any favors, seriously. I’m not asking you for anything with this.” Kylie’s expression was serious and slightly worried.
Audrey grabbed her hands. “Kylie, you’re my best friend. I want to read it because I love you, and I want to support you in whatever you choose.”
Kylie’s face softened, and she scrunched her nose. “Okay, I’ll give you a copy.” She grabbed her hand. “But I want your honest feedback. Don’t sugarcoat it for me.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
Audrey leaned back and let her head rest. Everything was trending toward the positive for not just her, but her best friend too. She couldn’t have created a better scene had she written it herself. She was excited to see what the next few days, weeks, and months would bring for all of them.
* * *
Harlow pushed herself out of the lap pool and sat on the edge. It was rare that she had a day off, but she was going to take advantage. All that was on her schedule today was to get a massage, and then she was going to barricade herself in her hotel room and finish the book she’d started months ago. She pulled off her goggles and laughed to herself, thinking about how much had changed since her last tour.
During the last tour, days off included disappearing into a dive bar in disguise and having a random one-night stand. Now, just the thought of that made her uneasy. She wouldn’t risk what she was building with Audrey for any form of emotionless escapism. Look how far you’ve come.
She dried off, pulled on her track pants, and slipped her feet into her flip-flops. She’d just thrown her towel in the bin when she heard someone open the door.
“Hey,” Casper said from across the room. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“You found me.” She was still irritated by his erratic behavior, but she hugged him anyway. “I just finished doing laps. Come up to my room in half an hour. I need to shower.”
He put his hands in his pockets, looking nervous. “I need to talk to you.”
“Can it wait until after I shower?”
“I um—I don’t think it can.”
She put a hand on his shoulder. “Okay, come upstairs with me. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together.”
He nodded and dutifully followed her to the elevator. She wanted to make small talk to ease whatever was bothering him so much, but she couldn’t. It was clear by his body language; there was something seriously wrong, and it had her anxiety spiking off the charts.
“Is Audrey okay?” She didn’t realize her voice would shake until the words had left her mouth.
“What?” He looked surprised by the question. “As far as I know. This has nothing to do with Audrey.”
She allowed herself to take a deep breath. There was nothing wrong with Audrey. Her anxiety subsided slightly. She could handle anything else Casper had to say. Unless he’s sick. Fuck. Don’t let him be sick.
Harlow sat on the bed as she watched Casper pace. “What’s going on?”
Casper was moving like every muscle in his body was twitching. “I fucked up, Low.” He shook his arms. “I fucked up real bad, and I can’t fix it.”
Harlow had never seen him like this, and it was making her incredibly uneasy. “Just tell me what’s going on, and we can figure it out together. I’m sure it isn’t as bad as you’re imagining.”
He ran his hands through his hair. “I got into some trouble gambling.”
“Okay.” She tried to keep her voice even, but she knew there was more.
“It’s been escalating for a long time. I owed this guy in Vegas a lot of money. When I couldn’t pay it all, he said I could work it off instead.” He sat down. His face had turned a dark shade of red, and tears started to stream down his cheeks. “At first, it started with just a few small runs. It all se
emed simple enough. I’d load one case onto a tour truck and deliver it to whoever when we got to a tour stop.”
Harlow felt like she was having an out-of-body experience. She could see herself listening to him. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, and her knuckles were white against the end of the bed. She could see it all unfolding, and she wanted to shake herself. She wanted this to be a dream—she wanted it to be anything but what was happening.
“What was in the cases, Casper?” She was surprised her voice didn’t break as she spoke. He didn’t answer right away, and her patience was on a razor’s edge. “What was in the cases?” He said nothing but continued to sob. She got off the bed and pushed him. “Answer me right now, Casper.”
He fell to the floor. “Fentanyl patches.”
She sat on the chair, feeling as if her legs would give out from underneath her. Her head pounded, causing even the slightest noise in the room to drum against her temples. Her skin felt clammy as she began to sweat. Her stomach turned, threatening to expel what little was in it.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know how bad I fucked up, but—”
“Why now?” She glared at him. “What happened that you waited until now to tell me?”
“One of the guys I delivered to was arrested,” he whispered. “I think I’m going to be in big trouble.”
She searched his face and realized she didn’t know him anymore. In a matter of six minutes, he’d gone from being the most important person in her life to someone she didn’t recognize. She searched her heart, hoping to find the remains of the love she had for him, but at the moment, all she could feel was anger and disappointment.
“The guitar you took from Monterey wasn’t for a fundraiser, was it?”
He shook his head, looking defeated. “No. It was for more gambling debts. I couldn’t pay him back with work until the tour started. I just…Low, I used the tour trucks. If it gets out, it could fall on you, too.”
There should’ve been burning rage. Disgust. Shame. Betrayal. All those emotions were present, but the rage was nowhere to be found.
She stood and walked to the door. “Turn yourself in.” She pulled it open. “You’re off the tour. I can’t have you anywhere near it, and you need to get help.”
He stood. “Please don’t do this. We can figure something else out.”
She shook her head. “There isn’t any other option, Casper. You’ve left me no other choice. Please leave. I’m too upset to even look at you right now. I need to be alone.”
Normal people would’ve cried. Normal people would’ve called a lawyer to help the only person they’d ever trusted. Harlow stripped off her swimsuit and turned on the shower. She let the spray cascade down her trembling body as she considered all the elements that led her here. She’d spent her whole life being disappointed by people—her father, her mother, people in her small town, and now her brother. They’d promised they’d never hurt one another. They swore to protect each other. But not only had he not protected her, but he’d also potentially put her in the firing line too. The part that hurt the most was that he didn’t trust her enough to ask for help. But then, when he had come to her, she’d turned him away. So maybe he was right. She slid to the bottom of the shower and let the tears fall.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Audrey wasn’t sure what to make of the text message. She read it four more times as she patted her face down from her run. Her initial reaction to seeing a text message from Casper asking if they could talk was concern for Harlow, but she knew it was misplaced after rapid reflection. If something had happened to Harlow, Casper wouldn’t want to talk. No. This came from a place of the in-between. Casper was either trying to decide something, or he wanted to issue a warning of some kind. Or he could be planning a surprise birthday party. Jesus. Paranoid much? She texted him back and was floored when he was at her house less than three minutes later.
She pulled the door open. “Were you just sitting outside my house?”
His arms were crossed, and he wouldn’t look her in the eye. “Something like that. Can I come in?”
She stepped out of the doorway and waved him inside. “Sure.”
She led him to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. “Want anything to drink?”
“Do you have anything stronger than water?” Casper fidgeted as he looked around the room.
Audrey pulled the whiskey out of the cabinet. “Strong enough?”
He nodded and looked impatient as she poured him three fingers of whiskey. He gulped it down and took the bottle from her hand. He poured himself another few fingers and clasped the tumbler like it tethered him to reality. She wasn’t going to pretend this was normal by placating him with small talk. Casper had come here for a reason, and she would stand here until he was ready to share.
He stared down at the glass. “Have you spoken with Harlow?”
Audrey leaned down on the breakfast bar. “Not since yesterday. She said she was going to swim some laps. She has a show today, and I don’t usually hear from her until after.”
He sipped his whiskey. “I need your help.” He still wouldn’t make eye contact. “I fucked up pretty bad, and now I’m worried it’s going to blow back on Harlow.”
“I’m going to need more information than that.”
She listened to him detail the last several years of his life. She listened to the rise and fall of his gambling career between football, boxing, MMA, horse races, and even airline flights. When all was said and done, he’d been in the hole for millions. Each time he tried to regain his footing, he fell even further behind. Each bet promised a better outcome than the last, but he could never win back enough to cover his losses. Even the short-term victories were quickly squandered because of the false bravado brought on by momentary triumph.
She watched him slowly break down as he explained the extent to which he owed the bookie and what he’d agreed to do to subsidize his losses. She could see it unfolding with each sentence. The bookie was in a win-win situation—forgiving debts just to have them rack up again with abandon. He finally reached the point in his story where he revealed the reason for his abrupt appearance at her home—Harlow’s reaction. The pain he was in was palpable, and she couldn’t help but feel a little bad for him, even though he’d gotten himself into this mess.
She was careful with her tone, not wanting to shame him further. “What is it exactly that you want me to do?”
He poured more whiskey into his glass. “Tell her to forgive me. Tell her I’m sorry. Make her see that I didn’t do this to hurt her.”
She reached across the counter and put her hand on his. “Forgiveness doesn’t come from force. If and when it comes, it will be because Harlow has decided to give it to you.”
“If I turn myself in, she’ll be investigated. It will ruin her career. You have to make her see that.”
She squeezed his hand. “That’s not my decision to make.”
He scoffed. “So you don’t care what happens to her, is that it? Are you willing to watch her burn down her life for a stupid choice I made? I thought you cared about her?”
“Casper,” she said and waited until he looked at her to continue. “You’ve put Harlow in an impossible situation. If you don’t turn yourself in and get caught, she’ll be in the middle. If you do turn yourself in, she’ll be investigated, but the truth will come out. You want me to absolve you for what you’ve done, and I can’t do that. You’ve done this, and you need to fix it.”
He shook his head. “I’ll go to jail.”
“Probably.” She came around the counter and sat next to him, taking his hands. “You need to talk to a lawyer. If you’re really worried about your sister, you need to get out in front of this. She’s got a team of people in her corner. Use them, and make things right.”
“What if she never forgives me?” He wiped at his tears.
“She may not, but does that mean you shouldn’t do the right thing?”
He sighed. “The rig
ht thing for who?”
“Only you can answer that.”
He finished the rest of the whiskey and stood. “I gotta get going.” He stopped at the door. “I really do love her.”
Audrey crossed her arms. “I know. She loves you too. And that’s why I know you’ll do the right thing.”
Casper got into the back seat of the car that had been waiting out front. Her heart broke as the car pulled away. Harlow had been through so much, and she’d view this as nothing short of outright betrayal. Casper and Harlow had sworn an allegiance to each other that she knew Harlow viewed as impenetrable. This would splinter her fragile heart, and Audrey wasn’t sure if she’d let anyone close enough to help hold the pieces together—not even her.
* * *
“I know your heart is in the right place, but I really don’t want to talk about it.” Harlow swirled the ice cubes around in her glass. “He shouldn’t have dragged you into it at all.”
“I understand you don’t want to talk about it, but I want you to know it’s okay not to be okay.” Audrey sounded concerned.
Harlow hated the sound of pity. She hated even more that it was falling from Audrey’s lips. It was the last thing she wanted Audrey to feel when she thought about her. This was exactly what she’d been worried about. Dragging Audrey’s reputation into the gutter would be unforgivable. She should’ve gone with her instincts. Hell, she should’ve listened when Casper told her it was a bad idea. Although, clearly, he had his own reasons for thinking so.
“Are you still going with me to the American Music Awards?”
“Harlow, of course I am. I’m here to support you.”
“I want you to go to spend time with me, not because you’re trying to keep an eye on me.” Harlow knew she sounded angrier than she intended, but she couldn’t help her reaction.
“I’m going with you because I wouldn’t miss the chance to spend five minutes with you, much less several hours.”
