VIP

by Jackie D.

  “We can figure something out; I know we can. I also think you should keep meeting with the big names. It’s always a good idea to generate buzz about a project. You really need to weigh your options, and my small production company may not end up being the best choice for you.” Audrey hoped she sounded as sincere as she felt.

  This was a significant accomplishment for Kylie, and she wanted her to make the best choice possible. It wasn’t personal; it was business. She hoped she’d choose her company but would understand if she went in a different direction.

  They spent the next thirty minutes exchanging pleasantries with the people in their section. No one asked her about Harlow’s situation, for which she was grateful. They all knew how painful it was to have your personal life exposed to the world. It was an exchange you made for being successful. People had what seemed to be unfettered access to every aspect of your life. No question was out of bounds, and there were no lines people wouldn’t cross to gain even more access. In exchange, you were paid a lot of money to do what you loved. It was a fine line to walk. The public was fickle, and it could all be taken away in an instant. People tended to think celebrities were untouchable, but it wasn’t the case. A well-placed rumor could put someone on borrowed time.

  They flashed the lights, indicating that the show would be starting momentarily. The fans placed next to the stage started screaming in anticipation. They waved their glow sticks, and the crowd buzzed with their shared excitement.

  The host took the stage to do her opening monologue. She covered the year in music, poked fun at a few people in the audience, and covered recent political events. Audrey knew she was funny because everyone in the theater was laughing, but she couldn’t focus. Her mind was with Harlow. She pictured her getting ready behind the sliding doors of the stage. Was she nervous or taking refuge in the routine of getting ready to perform? She hoped that was the case.

  The doors slipped open and shirtless men came onto the stage in lines, following the drumbeat. Harlow’s voice filled the theater, but they couldn’t see her. The flashing lights and the screaming fans overwhelmed her senses. Harlow finally stepped on stage in a sheer gold bodysuit. Sequins covered the entirety of the fabric, reflecting the bright lights that followed her around the stage. She could watch Harlow perform a million times, and it wouldn’t be enough.

  Harlow seemed fearless on stage. The way she interacted with the fans, the music, and her surrounding was almost poetic. Audrey thought about the looming details that swirled outside the theater walls and hoped it wouldn’t impact her career the way Jane thought it might. She couldn’t imagine a version of the world where Harlow wasn’t singing and entertaining. She couldn’t imagine Harlow without that outlet. It would be like taking a part of her soul.

  Audrey had been lost in a haze of what-ifs through the entirety of the performance and was only able to snap out of it when she heard the theater erupt with a roar of applause. There was an inexplicable feeling of pride as Harlow exited the stage. Watching Harlow was like watching real magic, and she was lucky to know her. It wasn’t a feeling Audrey was accustomed to, and she wondered why she’d lived without it for so long.

  She watched the next few award presentations with bated anticipation. She couldn’t wait for Harlow to be next to her again. She wanted to hug her and tell her what a fantastic job she’d done. She wanted to be near her to make sure she was okay. As confident as Harlow appeared on stage, there was still a fragility about her, and Audrey wanted to protect her.

  At the dedicated break to move people in the audience around, Harlow hurried back to her seat. Audrey grabbed her and hugged her without thinking, considering who was watching or whether or not cameras aimed at them. Harlow tensed at first and then seemed to melt into the embrace. It warmed Audrey’s chest to feel Harlow give in to her in public. She kissed the side of her cheek, loving the hint of salt that clung to her skin.

  “You were incredible, as always.”

  Harlow smiled and hugged her again. “Thank you.”

  They took their seats, and Audrey’s stomach fluttered as Harlow took her hand. The warming sensation that exploded through her body brought with it a realization—she was falling in love with Harlow Thorne. Audrey glanced over at Harlow when the realization struck. There was no way her internal thoughts had somehow escaped into Harlow’s mind, but she watched her profile to be sure. Obviously, Harlow remained unaware of the epiphany, but it lingered in Audrey’s mouth like it wanted to escape. Audrey pushed it away. She wouldn’t add something else to Harlow’s growing plate of unforeseen circumstances. Instead, she held her hand a little tighter, happy to simply be in her presence.

  * * *

  Harlow wanted nothing more than for this night to be over. Casper’s absence was acute, making the whole event even more daunting. The only reason she hadn’t canceled was because the negative press associated with such a decision would’ve been worse than the actual event. She probably would’ve disappeared immediately following her performance had it not been for Audrey. Her presence gave her strength. But how long could she expect to draw on her?

  She didn’t win album of the year and almost wept with relief from not having to go up on stage. She knew people were looking at her differently tonight, and that would probably be the norm for the foreseeable future. She hated that so much of her life would now be based on the public’s whims and opinions. She’d worked incredibly hard to crawl out of the in-between, where a little bad press could derail all your aspirations. Clearly, that was never really true. She’d tricked herself into thinking it was because she enjoyed the sense of safety it gave her. There was no such thing as real safety, not in her profession.

  She grew queasy as she realized they were going to have to go back out through the same gauntlet they’d entered. Her body felt clammy, and her heart was fluttering in a weird rhythm. She glanced over at Audrey, who looked concerned.

  “Are you okay?” Audrey whispered against her ear.

  Harlow shook her head and regretted it as another wave of nausea ravaged her. “I don’t think I can make it back through those reporters.”

  Audrey gently put both hands on Harlow’s face. “I’ll take care of it.” She disappeared out of her peripheral to speak with Kylie.

  Harlow took a few deep breaths as she waited. She’d never had a panic attack, but maybe that’s what this was. She tempered her breathing and did her best to focus on a point across the room. A room that suddenly felt a fraction of the size it had twenty minutes before. What is happening to me?

  Audrey grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bowels of the theater. She walked her down a long hallway, which Harlow assumed would lead to the outside. It was becoming slightly easier to breathe the farther away they got from the hordes of people. Embarrassment over what was happening hit her next, and she wanted to curl up in a tiny ball and disappear.

  Audrey rubbed soothing circles on her back. “Kylie is getting the car to come around. Everything will be okay. We’re going to get out of here.”

  Harlow wanted to speak, but she couldn’t. At the least, she could offer up a thank-you. Audrey had anticipated what she needed and made it happen. She was a steadfast presence, and Harlow didn’t have the words to express how much she appreciated that about her. Audrey was strong and brave and reassuring. She was everything Harlow couldn’t be.

  Kylie knocked on the door, and Audrey popped it open, scanning the area. She waved for Harlow to follow her, and she practically fell into the car. She stared at her trembling hands and willed them to stop. She couldn’t feel or act like this over a few reporters. This wasn’t sustainable.

  “Do you want me to come home with you?” Audrey turned fully to face her.

  “Yes,” Harlow managed.

  She tried to focus on the streetlights as they whizzed by the window. She heard Kylie talking to Audrey about canceling her shoot the next day. Harlow wanted to protest. She didn’t want to keep Audrey from her work. She didn’t want to pull her
down into this pit of sorrow, but she said nothing. She said nothing because she was selfish. She wanted Audrey there with her when she talked to the police. She needed her there. She knew she wasn’t behaving the way a considerate person should, but she didn’t care. The shame of that realization brought tears to her eyes.

  Audrey went to work when they arrived at Harlow’s house. She turned on the bathtub and pulled Harlow to her feet. She unzipped Harlow’s dress and removed her bra and underwear. She watched as though from a distance, paradoxically numb and in too much pain to speak. Once she got Harlow in the tub, she lit several candles around the bathroom and turned on soft music.

  The warm water was soothing. Harlow felt the stress dissipate only to be replaced with sadness. The urge to cry was overwhelming, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. The tears came like a tsunami, swamping her, pulling her under. It was infuriating to be so helpless. This was what she got for caring too much, for letting people in. Trust was nothing but quicksand.

  “Can I get you anything?” Audrey leaned against the doorframe.

  Harlow wanted too many things. She wanted her brother to be safe. She wanted him to have made different decisions. She wanted to have been raised with better coping skills. She wanted to wave a magic wand and for this all to be better. But she couldn’t say any of those things without sounding like a child, so she shook her head and let herself sink deeper into the tub, hoping it would wash away the despair threatening to overwhelm her.

  Chapter Thirty

  Audrey groggily rolled over and touched an empty spot where Harlow should’ve been. When the realization hit that it was empty, she pushed herself upright. Harlow hadn’t been in a good place the night before, and she’d hoped a full night of rest would alleviate some of her sadness. After her bath, Harlow had crawled into bed without saying a word. She’d let Audrey hold her, but she seemed to be erecting a wall around her emotions. Audrey would climb it as often as necessary.

  She finally found Harlow sitting on the back patio drinking coffee. The instant relief made her want her to run over and hug Harlow, but she didn’t. She poured herself a cup of coffee and took a seat next to her. She told herself she wouldn’t say anything until Harlow did, not wanting to push her before she was ready.

  Harlow didn’t say a word until the sun had firmly taken its place on the horizon ahead of them. “Thank you for last night. I appreciate everything you did for me and staying the night.”

  “I’ll be here as long as you need me.”

  The corners of Harlow’s mouth turned up, but it wasn’t so much a smile as much as confirmation this was far from over. “I don’t want you to miss any more shooting days because of me.”

  Audrey put her hand on her forearm. “You’re more important than any shooting schedule.”

  Harlow stared at her hand for so long, Audrey almost pulled away. “I’m sorry everything is such a mess.”

  “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.” Audrey wanted to convey conviction in her tone.

  Harlow’s phone rang, pulling her from the conversation. She disappeared into the house, shutting the sliding glass door behind her. Audrey took several deep breathes as she tried to remind herself not to take her departure personally. Harlow was under an extraordinary amount of stress, and her life had just been shaken to the core. It has nothing to do with you. All you can do is be there for her. You can’t control how she reacts. You don’t need to know everything she talks about.

  After getting herself fully under control, she went back inside. She needed to shower before the lawyer and police arrived. It would also give her something to do that didn’t require her to have awkward interactions with Harlow. She was used to things feeling so easy and natural between them. It was more difficult than she’d expected when they weren’t. It felt like every strained interaction chipped away a small piece of her heart.

  She stripped off her clothes and was about to get in the shower when Harlow rounded the corner. “There you are. I was looking for you.” Harlow’s eyes changed when she looked at Audrey.

  Audrey watched as desire replaced whatever Harlow had been dealing with before. This pleased Audrey much more than it should’ve given the circumstances. Passion was one of the reasons she’d fallen for Harlow. It was immensely satisfying to see it regardless of what else was happening.

  “You found me.” Audrey waited to get in the shower. She wanted to give Harlow her full attention. That, and she loved the way Harlow was looking at her. “Did you need something?”

  Harlow grabbed her wrist and pulled Audrey against her. “I made you breakfast.”

  Audrey practically melted when Harlow pressed her lips against hers. This kiss was different from others they’d shared. It seemed desperate and frantic, but Audrey couldn’t pinpoint the origin. There was desire there, but the desperation seemed almost primal. Audrey kissed her back with the same amount of force, determined to give Harlow whatever she needed.

  Harlow’s grip around her tightened, and it felt possessive. She picked her up and walked her toward the bed. Audrey wrapped her legs around her and fought the urge to whimper at Harlow’s sudden desire to be in charge. She placed Audrey on the bed and climbed on top of her.

  She pulled at Harlow’s shirt, wanting to feel her skin. Harlow was kissing and biting Audrey’s neck. There was a frenzy in her touch that hadn’t been there before, and Audrey loved it. She hurriedly unbuttoned Harlow’s pants and slid her hand between her legs. Harlow was in such desperate need, her hips bucked as soon as Audrey touched her. Audrey pushed deeper inside, and Harlow pressed her hips harder against her. It was like she let her whole body be consumed, and Audrey was enthralled.

  Harlow slid her hand between the two of them, and Audrey almost came immediately. She tried to focus on Harlow and what her body was telling her that she desired. She wanted to give Harlow whatever she was looking for—whatever she needed, and she had a feeling it was to feel connected, no matter how frantic.

  She grabbed her lower back and pressed harder into her center. Harlow’s hips followed the rhythm, but it only took a few more strokes before she cried out and then collapsed on top of her. Harlow’s body was trembling, and she buried her face in Audrey’s neck. She made no movement to move off of her, and Audrey wasn’t about to ask.

  “I’m sorry that was so fast. I’m not sure what came over me.”

  Audrey hugged her tighter. “Don’t ever apologize for something like that. I assure you, it was my pleasure.”

  “I feel so scattered right now. I’m not always sure how my emotions will shift.”

  Audrey kissed the side of her head. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.”

  The doorbell rang, and Harlow groaned. “No more imagining how this will turn out.”

  Harlow stood, fixed herself in the mirror, and splashed cold water on her face. Audrey didn’t get up to get in the shower until Harlow had left. She let the warm water cascade across the tender parts of her skin where Harlow still lingered. She considered what had just happened and the few words Harlow had spoken and hoped she would let her put the scattered pieces back together.

  * * *

  Harlow tried not to tap her foot while listening to her lawyer go over what he assumed the police would be asking. He was doing his job, but she didn’t know how to articulate the gravity of how this would affect her life. For her, this was about far more than her career. Yes, that was important, but the implications for Casper weighed on her more with each passing minute.

  “Do you have any questions?” Rick clicked his pen closed and placed it on the notepad in front of him.

  “Is Casper okay?”

  He tilted his head. “I saw him yesterday, and he’s holding up.”

  She shook her head and opened one of the bottles of water she’d put out for the meeting. Was this a meeting? Was it an interrogation? Did it matter? The panic she’d been feeling in her chest loosened slightly when she heard Audrey coming down the stairs. Even if she ha
dn’t heard her descending, she would’ve been able to tell by the look on Rick’s face.

  He stood and met her at the bottom of the stairs. “Ms. Knox, it’s an absolute pleasure to meet you. I’m Rick Flemming, Harlow’s attorney.”

  Audrey shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Rick. I’m going to grab some breakfast. Can I get you anything?”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and shifted his weight. “No, that’s okay. I ate before I came over.”

  He sat back down at the table, looking categorically gleeful. “I’m a big fan of hers.”

  Harlow was finally able to stop shaking her leg. “Me too.”

  “My daughter won’t believe I got to meet Audrey Knox.” He shook his head as if he was still in disbelief.

  Audrey ran her hand over Harlow’s shoulders before she sat down next to her. It was a simple action, but it helped to calm her. She was grateful for all of Audrey’s little gestures, even if she didn’t deserve that kind of patience or kindness. Not with all the drama swirling around her.

  Audrey speared a piece of watermelon with her fork. “So, should I be in here when the police arrive, or is it better for me to wait in the other room?”

  Rick leaned forward on the table. “That’s entirely up to Harlow. We’re cooperating fully, so we have no reason to worry. They’re just coming to ask questions. Harlow isn’t a person of interest, and this is a voluntary interview. It’s up to her.”

  Harlow was thankful at least one of them was thinking logically. She hadn’t even thought to ask the question and just assumed Audrey would be there with her. She needed Audrey to be there.

  “I’d like her to stay.” Harlow forced down more water. She wasn’t thirsty, but she needed something to do with her hands.

  The police officers arrived on time, and Rick escorted them into the living room. They were pleasant as they introduced themselves and were even apologetic they had to intrude on her day. Harlow still had enough mental bandwidth to thank them for coming to her instead of making her endure the paparazzi. It felt like her heart was going to throw itself from her chest as the pleasantries drew to a close.