Meditation for Relaxation

by Adam O'Neill

  2.Gently close your eyes or soften your gaze.

  3.Bring your attention to your breath. Notice the inhale and exhale without doing anything to change or control it.

  4.Clear your mind of all thoughts and worries. Let your thoughts dissolve and your mind become quiet.

  5.Now, without focusing on any one particular aspect of your life, think of something that fills you with gratitude. It could be a person, a material thing, a sensation, a smell, or a food. The first thing that comes to mind may surprise you, but stay with it and spend time with it. It could be the color of a tree trunk, or the sound of a person’s voice, or the crunch of a potato chip.

  6.For the next 5 minutes, allow new ideas of gratitude to arise in your mind. Give each one attention. Spend time with it. Observe the aspects of each idea for which you are particularly grateful. You may find, as I have, that this technique becomes your go-to mindfulness technique. Once you’re in a state of gratitude, everything shifts.

  TIP: Don’t judge the things that come to you in gratitude. Once, while doing this practice, I had an immediate and overwhelming gratitude for turtles, of all things. I still have no idea where that came from, or why it was hanging out in my “gratitude tank,” but I spent time with it and identified a whole host of things I like about turtles. And you can bet I’ve never looked at turtles the same way since. The surprises are fun and worth your gratitude.

  VARIATIONS: If you’re looking for a little more guidance, you can assign a theme to your gratitude practice, such as:

  •People in your family

  •Things that are blue

  •Things in your home

  20

  THE LAUGHING HEART 10 TO 15 MINUTES

  I find that poetry, with its powerful economy of language, can conjure emotions and insights that aren’t as easily accessed through other forms of art. For this practice, you’ll want to find a poem that you appreciate. Whether you are into poetry or not, chances are that you can find a poem that draws you in and speaks to you. If you need some help, here are some poets to check out: Shakespeare, Ted Kooser (former U.S. Poet Laureate), Mary Oliver, or Dr. Seuss. There is a poem by Charles Bukowski I particularly appreciate called “The Laughing Heart.” Whenever I read it, I find it reassuring, grounding, and inspiring. It’s almost become my anthem. Whichever poem you choose, have it in front of you for this meditation (ideally in printed form, because screens can be distracting).

  1.Find a comfortable seated position. You can sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor or in a chair.

  2.Sit upright but positioned so you can comfortably read the poem for several minutes.

  3.Read the poem slowly. You can read it out loud or in your head. Pay attention to the sound and the shape of each word. Pay attention to the way each word adds depth of meaning to the words that preceded it.

  4.As you read, note how your mind and emotions respond. Do certain words or phrases create different responses than others?

  5.Can you read the poem and find different meanings if you change the emphasis on certain words?

  6.Notice how language affects you. On the page, words are just shapes, made up of light and dark spaces. How we interpret them is based on our learning, cultural conditioning, attitudes, and beliefs. Try looking at the poem without reading it. How does doing so change the experience? How does your brain respond?

  7.Just as we have the ability to control the information we consume, we have the ability to shift how the information affects us.

  8.For the final 2 minutes of this meditation, close your eyes and return to your breath.

  9.Take a moment to reflect. How was your experience with this poem? Did you read it in a way that you hadn’t before? Did you discover a new insight? Did you notice any new or unexpected emotions or sensations? Written language is so deeply connected to our experience in the world that we often don’t stop to think about it. Remember that what we read, how we read, and the ways reading affects our state of mind are all within our control. We can bring as much awareness to what we’re reading, how we’re reading it, and how it affects us as we bring to any meditation.

  PART III

  Drift Off to Sleep

  In this section, you will find 20 meditations to help you achieve deep and restful sleep. Several of them are meant to be done directly before your bedtime routine. Others are guided meditations, designed to quiet your mind with calming visualizations, and others will help you find deep relaxation within the comfort of your own bed. All of the practices can be done at any time of day if needed. And if you found that some meditations in the previous sections helped you sleep better, feel free to try them as sleep meditations as well.

  1

  PINNACLE 20 MINUTES

  Some people view life as a series of obstacles to be assessed and navigated, some view it as a range of peaks and valleys with inevitable highs and lows, and some view it as an unrelenting slog. Whatever your perspective, consider right now that life is actually none of those narratives, that it is simply the present moment and that your experience of it—whether viewed as good or bad or as part of a larger story—is a creation of your mind. And as you train your mind through meditation, you can fundamentally change how you experience life. For example, another way of looking at life is that you are, right now, living in a peak experience, infinitely rich in fulfillment and harmony. By cultivating an awareness of the present moment, you can exist in a constant state of clarity, acceptance, and equanimity.

  1.Find a comfortable seated position. You can sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor or in a chair. You can also do this meditation while walking.

  2.Soften your gaze or gently close your eyes.

  3.Bring your attention to your breath, to each inhale and exhale. Identify a sensation in the cycle of your breathing where you feel it the most—perhaps in the roof of your mouth, the bottom of your throat, or just behind your belly button. Keep your focus there.

  4.You have arrived. This is the moment that you’ve been waiting for. You don’t need to wait any longer. This moment, right now, is your complete life experience. There is no past. There is no future. There is only now. This is the pinnacle.

  5.Take 5 gentle, full, deep breaths.

  6.You are here in this moment. Be present with it, with any sounds or sensations, any thoughts that percolate, the coming and going of each breath.

  7.You aren’t trying to think anything. You aren’t trying to be or feel or experience anything specific. You are passively observing, accepting what comes as it comes. If distractions arise, return to your breath. Your entire life experience, your complete reality, is occurring within you and around you right now.

  8.When you are ready to conclude this meditation, draw in a deep inhale through your nose, and exhale completely through your open mouth with an “ahhh” sound. Repeat 3 times. Stretch your arms out to your sides, then up overhead.

  9.Get up slowly. See if you can carry a sense of calm satisfaction and peaceful fulfillment through your evening routine and as you head off to bed.

  2

  BED IN THE FOREST 15 MINUTES

  We all like to feel grounded. But as we go through our days, bombarded by thoughts and experiences outside our control, it’s easy to drift away from the feelings of stability and security that are available to us. Over time, perpetual rumination, worry, anxiety, and burnout can result. To reconnect with a rooted and stable state of mind, we can turn our attention to one of the most omnipresent forces in our lives: gravity.

  1.Lie on your back on a comfortable surface such as a yoga mat, carpet, or bed.

  2.Soften your gaze or gently close your eyes.

  3.Inhale deeply and slowly through your nose. Let out all the air through your mouth with an “ahhh” sound. Repeat 5 times.

  4.Allow your breath to return to its natural rhythm and become aware of the sensations it produces—the gentle rise and fall of your chest and abdomen, the soft flow of air through your nose and throat. Pick a spot where y
ou feel the breath and focus on it.

  5.Now imagine that you are in a warm, sunlit forest. The back of your head, shoulders, thighs, calves, and heels are resting in the soil. Feel the warm earth holding you, shaped perfectly around the back of your body.

  6.On top of the soil, tucking you in on all sides, is a blanket of leaves. They gently press against you.

  7.Around your feet and legs are ferns growing in bunches, gently wrapping your legs.

  8.A soft sheet of moss is covering your upper legs and abdomen.

  9.Trees are all around you. Looking up, you see their leaves and needles dancing and swaying in the breeze and the soft blue sky above them.

  10.You are heavy and rooted, as though you’ve been here for 10,000 years, and you’ll remain here, perfectly still, forever.

  11.A beam of sunlight pokes through the branches. You feel the warm light on your face and chest.

  12.Lie here for the next 10 minutes, staying with the feelings of warmth, security, stability, and permanence. You are heavy, unmoving, comfortable.

  13.If your mind drifts, acknowledge any thoughts that arise, accept them, make note of them, and let them slip away. Return to your breath and your bed in the forest.

  3

  FEEl, COOL HEAD 5 MINUTES

  When we’re trying to fall asleep, temperature matters. With heating and cooling systems and tons of options for mattresses, sheets, pillows, and blankets, it’s easy to create our ideal sleeping conditions. (If you haven’t given your sleeping environment this much attention, you might want to do so.) In this meditation, you will bring your awareness to the temperature of your core and extremities, appreciating all the comfort where it exists and making adjustments anywhere it’s lacking.

  1.Begin this meditation lying on your back in your bed. Tuck yourself in as you normally do.

  2.Gently close your eyes.

  3.Draw in a deep, slow inhale through your nose. Exhale completely through your open mouth with an “ahhh” sound.

  4.Allow your breath to return to its natural rhythm.

  5.Scan your body and note any areas that feel too warm or too cold. Make any adjustment you need within your blankets to get the right temperature. You may feel that certain parts of your body are still too warm or too cold. You may find that part of you is warm and part of you is cold, but that you like it that way.

  6.Bring your attention to your ears. Are they warm? Bring your hands up and touch them.

  7.Place your hands on your head. Is it warm?

  8.Without sitting up, run your hands down your upper body, feeling it from the outside and inside. Notice the exchange of warmth between your hands and your body. Notice the way your body feels on the inside. How do your hands feel?

  9.Relax your hands and let them rest at your sides.

  10.Take several deep breaths, relaxing completely, and scan your entire body again.

  11.You are comfortable and relaxed, just the right temperature. Hold this thought in your mind as you drift off to sleep.

  4

  SATELLITE VISION 10 MINUTES

  It can be a healthy (if uncomfortable) realization that we’re mere specks in a vast universe. While we worry and work and argue and make plans, Earth, hurling through space, occupies a vanishingly small portion of our solar system, which in turn occupies a tiny corner of our galaxy, which in turn occupies an almost negligible area within the known universe. When we take time to recalibrate our sense of scale, we can reconnect with our humility, insignificance, and true sphere of influence. If accepting the smallness of our influence sounds demoralizing, don’t worry—it can be deeply empowering. On the grand scale of space and time, we have very little power. But this realization helps us remember the important areas in our lives in which we do have power: our relationship with ourselves and our ability to do good and meaningful work.

  1.Find a comfortable seated position. You can sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor or in a chair or do this meditation lying down. If seated, sit up straight without forcing perfect posture.

  2.Soften your gaze or gently close your eyes.

  3.Without trying to change or control your breath, bring your attention to it. Notice how it feels, the rise and fall of your chest, the expansion of your abdomen, the flow of air through your nose and throat. Stay with your breath for the next minute or so. See if you can maintain focus on it in each moment.

  4.When you are ready, imagine that you are able to see yourself from 3 feet above your head. What do you see? Your whole body or the movement of your gentle breathing, perhaps?

  5.Now slowly elevate up and away from where you’re sitting. As you lift up, imagine that you first see your roof, then the roofs of the houses next door, then all the roofs in the neighborhood. Notice the cars on the streets and the trees and yards. Your roof shrinks from view. As you continue to rise, you can see major highways and factories and airports and lakes and mountain ranges and rivers.

  6.Farther up, you can see cities and parts of several states.

  7.Soon, you can see entire countries. Zooming up faster now, you see Earth becoming smaller and smaller.

  8.You see each of the planets of the solar system, the sun, then the entire solar system. The sun now looks like every other star. Your entire field of vision fills with suns, some of which are arranged in colorful groups.

  9.You see giant suns and tiny suns and soon the entire Milky Way galaxy laid out before you, hundreds of billions of stars and planets.

  10.Farther up, another galaxy pops into view, then another, and another, and another, and soon the Milky Way is just a tiny speck.

  11.Hold this image in your mind and return to your breath. In this moment, the entirety of the universe is present and available within your mind. Take several breaths here and begin to move back toward the Milky Way.

  12.Zoom back into the Milky Way, passing the stars and billions of planets you passed on the way out.

  13.You can see our sun now, slowly getting a little bit bigger. As you get closer, you can see all the planets of our solar system, then you can see Earth and the moon, then only Earth as it fills your vision.

  14.Zoom back in, all the way down to 3 feet above your head.

  15.Return to your breath, return to where you are, the room, the sensations and sounds around you.

  5

  A CUP OF TEA 15 MINUTES

  Part ritual, part aromatherapy, part comforting warmth, making and enjoying a simple cup of tea with intention and awareness can be an exercise in mindfulness. In this practice, you will make a cup of your favorite tea before bed. There are many caffeine-free herbal teas with soporific qualities. I particularly like chamomile, but you can find one you like. Making and enjoying the tea will be your bedtime meditation.

  1.Put a tea bag in your favorite mug, and put a kettle of water on to boil.

  2.Take a moment to appreciate this mug. Why is it your favorite? Is it the color, the size, the shape, the way it feels in your hand? Perhaps it reminds you of a person or a place? How was this mug made? What is it made out of?

  3.Consider the tea bag. What ingredients are inside of it? Where did they come from? Someone developed that unique recipe and ground up the ingredients. Someone engineered the design of the tea bag and the weaving process to make it. The ingredients were poured into the bag, which was then wrapped, boxed, packaged, shipped, and chosen by you.

  4.Consider the importance of the tea bag and the mug and the water. You cannot have a cup of tea without one of these elements. Consider how other things in life rely on yet other things to be useful and enjoyable.

  5.When the water is ready, slowly pour it into the cup. Notice how the sound of the water hitting the bottom of the mug differs from the sound it makes hitting the tea bag. Notice how the sound of the water changes as it fills the mug.

  6.Notice the steam rising off the top of the water in the mug.

  7.As the tea steeps, lean over the steam to feel the humid warmth and smell the fragrance. At first the smell
might be mild, but as the tea infuses the water, the steam smells more and more like tea.

  8.Take several deep breaths there, drawing in slowly and deeply through your nose, exhaling gently and fully through your mouth.

  9.Wrap your hands around the mug to feel the heat, making sure not to touch the ceramic if it’s too hot.

  10.Notice how the steam moves with the slightest shifts in air pressure.

  11.When the tea is as strong as you like it, carefully remove the tea bag from the mug. Pay attention to the sensation of the heat as your fingers work close to the hot water. Notice the dexterity and precision of each movement that your hands are capable of making.

  12.Move to a comfortable chair or to your bed, bringing the tea with you.

  13.When the tea is cool enough to drink, slowly bring it to your lips. Notice how your mouth forms around the lip of the mug, how your mouth prepares for the hot liquid.

  14.Has your breathing changed? Are you tensed up in anticipation of the tea being too hot? Relax any areas in the face or body that feel tense.

  15.Take a sip. How does it taste? How would you describe the flavors?

  16.Stay attuned to each sensation and thought as you enjoy your tea.

  17.Notice how vast and nuanced your range of perceptions can be in such a simple activity. Notice how rich, fulfilling, and fascinating life can be when you’re totally aware of the present moment. Notice how time can slow down and expand, if you allow it, in the moments we tend to ignore. Allow the memory of the fragrance, the heat of the steam, and the simple pleasure of drinking the warm tea carry you to a calm and restful sleep.

  6

  DEEP BELLY BREATHS 10 MINUTES

  One of the “eight limbs” of yoga, pranayama is the practice of controlling the breath. In Sanskrit, prana means “life force” and ayama means “extend or draw out.” There are numerous pranayama breathing exercises. To the extent that becoming aware of your breath is pranayama, most of the meditations in this book use some pranayama principles. Throughout this meditation, we take breath awareness a step further by following a specific and focused breathing technique.