Branded

by Clare London

  “I’ll still talk to her,” I said.

  The House of Physic was on the other side of the Royal Household, and an easy walk. Like the Library, many of the more important city facilities were close to the Royal Household. I hadn’t sent word ahead we’d be coming to call, but if Mistress Chloe was unavailable, I’d wait.

  There wasn’t anything else I had to do.

  Zander talked as he walked beside me. Now and then his sword would nudge between us, reminding me subtly of his official role in our group. “I know we haven’t found Mistress Flora yet, but we’ve alerted a lot of people of our interest. You’ve handled these meetings well.” He sounded surprised.

  “Did you think they’d be interrogations?” With torture?

  He grimaced. “Of course not. But people… listen to you. And her staff have spoken well of her, even knowing it’s the Queen, her vanquisher, who asks after her. They seem more confident of doing that in front of you rather than my soldiers.”

  “It isn’t everything to have the badge of the Mistress on your armor,” I said, surprising myself this time. I’d never thought I’d say something like that.

  Zander was quiet again for a while. We passed through the market square where workers from the Household of Construction, the same ones who’d helped build and dismantle the Battle Horse a few weeks ago were clearing away the morning stalls. Traders bundled up the remains of their goods into their small, wheeled carts. A couple of Remainders from the House of Utilities swept the cobbled ground, collecting up litter. A small band of entertainers sat around a jug of ale and some odd ends of bread and dried meat, chatting quietly and cheerfully. We could see a small queue of people in the distance, citizens gathering at the House of Physic for its public surgery hours.

  Zander cleared his throat. “Darius has been seconded by our Mistress as a senior Silver Captain to Mistress Chloe. You know him?”

  I nodded. “I do.”

  I didn’t think there was anything unusual in my tone, but Zander’s head turned swiftly to look at me. “He’s very grateful for the position, it seems. He’s ambitious. Since he was taken by the Royal Household, my fellow Golds tell me he’s been an enthusiastic addition.”

  I wondered why he was giving me the information. “So he should be. He belongs to the Queen now and must do what she orders.”

  Zander made a noise of frustration. “Of course. But I admit I thought there might be trouble. There were rumors he considered himself Mistress Flora’s favorite. That he had an expectation of her sponsorship for many years ahead. I thought he might not join the Royal Guard willingly—”

  “That he might be resentful, being passed to a new Mistress without any reference to his own wishes?” I finished dryly.

  Zander couldn’t have realized what a chord his words struck in me. It just sounded like further evidence of Darius’s arrogance. Mistresses were not allowed to have specific favorites, or soldiers to have expectation of it, but there’d been instances in the past of relationships that became closer than the usual casual sexual coupling. It seemed nowadays, in some Households, such rules were not so rigidly enforced. That said, I suspected what went on in Darius’s head followed rules of its own making.

  “He’s a good soldier, though not the best yet.” Zander was watching me. “Keen to couple too. Mistress Seleste enjoyed him, and he’s made it clear he’ll be willing in the barracks too.”

  “It’s of no interest to me,” I said, maybe too sharply. Zander’s voice set off an unpleasant ache in my head. “Particularly as I’m no longer officially in the barracks.”

  He paused briefly, and I took the opportunity to stride ahead of him. He didn’t speak again on the journey across the city.

  ZANDER HAD been right about Mistress Chloe: she was a sweet young thing, as unlike Nerisa as anyone could be. She was small, delicately built, and looked intimidated by my escort of soldiers.

  “My sister….” Her voice was sweet too, even in her orders to her servants to seat me comfortably in her office and bring us refreshments. “My sister Flora and I were close, of course, but she wouldn’t have told me her plans.” She blushed and gazed at me, her eyes moist with the onset of tears. “To be honest, for the last few months all she thought of was the battle, whereas I….”

  Standing beside me, Zander leaned forward reassuringly, respectful to a fault. “You have always been a credit to the city here in the Household of Physic, Mistress. You’re a very talented and skillful Mistress of your pharmacies.”

  She smiled up at him, her face lit up from the flattery. “All I want is to serve Sele—the Queen.” For a second her voice wavered. “She is so… I know she has to be fierce to rule the city. Like Flora, she’s always been….” Her words failed her again. Something nervous flickered in her eyes.

  “Mistress,” I said softly. “Is there any protection you think you need, that we might offer you?”

  Her eyes widened. Zander sucked in a sharp breath. I was used to it. He considered many of my questions far too bold.

  “No. No, of course not. What an overactive imagination you have.” She turned away, her eyes clouded, and went to fuss over a servant getting fresh drinks for us. For a while we sat on our own, uncertain whether the interview was still proceeding or whether Mistress Chloe had done a disappearing act. Then, as we got ready to leave, she appeared again in the hallway and beckoned me over, away from the others.

  “Mistress—” I started to apologize for my earlier behavior but she stopped me with a finger to her lips.

  “Maen, please.” Her tone was soft. I was reminded—albeit unwillingly—of my first Mistress, Luana, and her very gentle treatment of me when I was a mere Bronzeman. “It’s good to meet you at last, but things haven’t been easy for you, have they?” I must have frowned, because she blushed very becomingly. “Please, in the name of service to the city, I don’t wish to embarrass you, but I’ve heard about you from Mistress Seleste, and from… other places. I can tell you don’t take the Devotions as the other men do, even if Seleste… Mistress Seleste… has kept that officially secret. And I’d never dare speak out against anything she demands or allows. But if you ever need any help of mine, please feel free to ask.” Her hand was pale and slim-fingered, and it stroked very lightly at my arm. I felt a strange, unfamiliar comfort steal over me.

  “Thank you, Mistress. I appreciate your kindness.” I didn’t know what else I could say to her, for surely my problems were far beyond her potions.

  A shadow appeared behind her, and Darius arrived at her side. He nodded respectfully to Chloe, but his gaze darted to me. “Maen,” he said in greeting, “this is a pleasure. I’d hoped to see you again soon.”

  “Darius.” It would’ve been uncivil of me to refuse to greet him, especially in the presence of a Mistress, although Chloe’s smile in return to him was warmer than I’d have expected from a Mistress to her soldier. “You appear to have settled well into your new Household,” I said curtly.

  “A gracious Mistress and the company of the best soldiers,” he said with a shrug. “There’s not much more I could ask for.” He bowed again to Mistress Chloe. “May I escort Maen back out of the Household, Mistress?”

  His voice had the thick sensuality I’d heard before: he appeared very confident that she’d allow whatever he asked. He walked beside me to the door, while the rest of Zander’s group was on the other side of the hallway, paying its respects to Mistress Chloe and preparing to leave.

  “So, when shall I come to you?” he asked under his breath.

  I looked down at the hand he laid on my forearm. As I watched, he slid his fingers up along the inside of my upper arm and across my chest, his palm creasing the fabric of my tunic. His hand paused just under my left nipple, and he let out a long, slow breath. I imagined I felt it brushing softly over my torso and shuddered.

  “Your heartbeat has increased, Maen. You’re an impatient man. That excites me far more than Ladies’ pretty words. I knew you’d be along soon to see me.”
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  “This visit has nothing to do with you.”

  There was a distinctive smell to him, not unpleasant, but full of the sweat and the heat of masculine flesh. His full lips were moist as if he’d just licked them. The dark gray irises of his eyes glittered with the reflection of the lamp over the doorway, and his gaze locked onto me as if to draw me into him. I lifted his hand off me very deliberately and gripped his wrist a little longer than I needed to, until I saw him wince. “That’s one of your faults, soldier—failing to realize that not everything revolves around you.”

  Anger darkened his face, though he didn’t move away. “And you don’t have faults, Maen? Maybe yours are your coldness and your false inhibitions. It’s not healthy to repress your body’s needs.”

  “I don’t repress anything.”

  His eyes flashed with triumph as if he knew he’d riled me. “Let it go, Maen. All of it, not just a moment’s gasp and a desperate spurt inside a hand. Enjoy that loss of control to the full. You of all men should know what that thrill and danger feel like.”

  You of all men…. I wanted to grip him by the throat again, but I knew the other soldiers were only feet away from us and would have to report it to Seleste. Darius leaned in to me as if he recognized it too and knew he was safe from any attack here.

  “I can be what you like,” he murmured. “Try me.” I felt a sudden sharp touch on my neck: his fingernail, running down the skin to find the seat of my pulse. “I can be a Silver or a slave, a man or a Mistress. Or maybe you want to imagine me as that Bronzeman, in the days when he was alive and his flesh was young and warm, and I daresay his cock swelled with need at the mere sound of your voice—”

  I pushed him away sharply, knowing I had my back to the others and they wouldn’t immediately recognize what I was doing. He stumbled and thudded against the wall, his breath expelled in a shocked gasp. “You will never be what I like,” I growled back. “And if you talk like that to me again, you’ll find yourself without a voice at all—nor the throat to hold it in.”

  I didn’t see anything beyond his shocked eyes and his blanched face, nor did I hear Zander’s call as he approached us. I just turned and left the Household grounds as fast as I could walk.

  ON THE top of the city wall where it was widest, with my back to a buttress and my arms crossed over my chest, I sat with no company except the quiet air of the evening. My mind was full of wishes and regrets, but even if I’d been questioned, I couldn’t have articulated them.

  “What are you doing here, Maen?”

  Zander’s voice startled away the small flock of ravens that’d been sharing my place—and my introspection. I was surprised to hear him, but maybe I shouldn’t have been.

  “Obviously waiting for you to find and report on me.” I shifted carefully, because sitting on cold stone was uncomfortable after an hour or so, and stretched out my legs on the flat top of the battlements. He stood on the ground below, under the place where my feet rested. The nearest sentry gate was several hundred steps away. At that point, the height of the wall reduced gradually to only a hand’s span taller than a man of his size. I glanced down to see his upturned face, half-dark from the shadows cast by the stone. We were silent for a while.

  The air was cool after the heat of the day. Our summer weather continued to increase each year in both heat and humidity, with no one understanding the reasons why. But tonight a gentle breeze stirred the low scrub on the hills and brushed through my unbraided hair. I turned my head back and stared over the bare hills outside the city walls. The skies were darkening, gray clouds bleeding into the shadows of the horizon. There was very little to see.

  Zander cleared his throat. “You can’t go any farther. You’re forbidden to leave the city.”

  I nodded, almost to myself. I didn’t move, and I didn’t take my gaze away from the far distance.

  “Do you have any reason to be here?” He sounded uncertain. “Any information about Mistress Flora?”

  “No,” I said. “Nor am I on duty, as you are. Leave me be.”

  “Maen.” Despite his obvious irritation, he seemed unusually keen to engage me. “If we continue to work closely together like this, I need to talk to you about important issues. For example, your meeting with Mistress Seleste the other day.” I didn’t answer and he shrugged; my eye caught the natural, athletic movement of his shoulders. “I’d have been ashamed to have you in my Guard. You showed such disrespect for the Queen. I can’t believe she didn’t punish you at once.”

  “No,” I replied, my voice expressionless. “I can’t believe it either.” I didn’t see how I could explain to him that she already had—and I’d surrendered to it all too eagerly.

  I could see he was frowning, but he seemed less outraged. “I don’t know all of your history, though obviously the Mistress has her reasons for dealing with you in that way.”

  I shifted again on my cold seat. “I’ve served the Mistress as she’s wished for over a year now. My loyalty—”

  “You don’t need to convince me,” he interrupted, surprising me again. “Your loyalty has never been in question, although it’s sometimes slow in announcing itself. And sometimes, I’d say, more than a little unenthusiastic. But it’s genuine.”

  I swung my legs over and let myself down to the ground, meeting him face-to-face. His expression was cynical, but he smiled slowly.

  I smiled back, an unusual warmth inside me. “Thank you for that respect.”

  He rubbed thoughtfully at his ear, as if the slight cut I’d given him on the day of the battle for Queenship was still itching. “You’re one of the best soldiers I’ve ever seen,” he said bluntly. “Whatever your history—whatever the truth of what you did—the actions of a soldier remain for me the best measure of a man. When we squabbled that day, in front of the Queen… I’ve regretted that, many times. I can only blame the excitement and jealousy of the moment.”

  “We deserved better,” I said. “We still do. In many ways.”

  Another emotion flickered in his eyes, one he seemed less comfortable with. He shifted awkwardly, his boots creaking gently in the quiet air. “When I told you about the dead Bronzeman… your expression…. I’ve never seen such a look on anyone’s face.” He caught my gaze and held it as if challenging me. “Never.”

  I stared back, trying to keep my gaze steady, but the warmth inside me had gone. “I can’t speak of it to you. Don’t ask me.”

  He nodded. “I won’t. I just….” He paused and cleared his throat again. “Maybe you need to talk to someone about it. It’s eating you up, Maen, from the inside out.”

  I don’t know what I’d have answered if we hadn’t been interrupted by sudden, strange noises from farther along the wall. They came from behind a stunted clump of bushes. There was no response from the sentries at the gate farther along, so maybe they didn’t hear it or they thought the scuffle was nothing but a stray night animal. However, Zander moved swiftly toward the sound, unsheathing his sword silently with cold, practiced speed. I saw him bend to grasp something that wriggled in the shadows. There was a muttered curse that wasn’t from him, but sounded familiar to me. When he straightened again, he was gripping a masculine figure around its chest, his other hand holding the sword to its long pale neck.

  “A spy,” he grunted. “He just tried to enter the city.” His boot kicked at the base of the bushes. “See? Behind this, some of the stones are loose in the wall. Only a scrawny little thing like this could get through, but I’m sure the Exiles aren’t above using children as their spies.”

  The slender figure in his grip gave a snort of protest. I stepped farther forward and peered more carefully. “It’s not a child, and he’s not from the Exiles. He works in the Royal Library, and his name is Kiel.”

  Zander lowered his sword, but he still held tight to the wriggling body. “What? I just found him worming his way into the compound—”

  “I was not!” The young man had found his voice, gasping for breath because of Zander’s fierc
e hold. “I was just relieving myself. Can’t a man piss in the bushes when he needs to, or would you rather I doused your boots with it? I just had to do it, and right then. You can’t argue with nature, can you? I just dodged behind the bushes for some kind of privacy, on the Queen’s life—” He stopped, gasping even more as Zander shook him.

  “Don’t you dare take the Queen’s name in vain,” Zander growled. “Do you have any idea who I am?”

  Kiel glanced up at his captor’s face, seeing the glint of gold earrings and the shine of gritted teeth. “A Gold Warrior,” he whispered fearfully.

  His gaze darted to me, then slid away. He wanted to keep our acquaintance secret, even though he was in personal danger. I was impressed by his nerve. “Look,” he started again, his tone more desperate. “I mean, look, sir. I’m not doing anything wrong, I just came out for some air, if you had any idea what that Library is like, on still days it’s like you’ve wandered into a mausoleum and the bodies have just crumbled away around you, it’s full of dust, dust and then some more dust on top of that. But let me go now, sir, and I’ll go straight back, I’ll work extra hours, whatever you say, you can check up on me or ask anything of me. Look, how about I let you both come and borrow the books the older scribes keep private in the back of the locked cupboard, the ones with the obscene poems and the graphic illustrations, the ones about the Household of Massage and the secret equipment room in the Detention Quarters—?”

  “For Devotions’ sake, what is he?” Zander shook Kiel again, but he now held him at the end of his reach as if he were some irritating but potentially dangerous lizard.

  I smiled. “He’s only an assistant. He’s not up to much.” Kiel’s eyes glinted in the dim light, but I ignored his quick look.

  “What do you mean? We have no idea what he was up to.”

  I looked at Kiel and he stared back at me, scared now. I thought I knew exactly what he’d been up to, but I wasn’t about to say. “He’s harmless. I say we’ve seen him tuck his prick back in his trousers, so now let’s see him off to his bed.”