by Shannon West
“But…how can I…?”
“Okay, then look. Let’s just forget about this for now. Table the discussion till later. I can’t really prove anything to you until you actually see it for yourself. I realize that now. It only happens every twenty-eight days or so—can you trust me until then?”
“I-I guess.”
Hawke kissed down the side of Jace’s neck the way that seemed to make him crazy, and he got the low moan he was looking for. “Thank you, Jace. In the meantime, I won’t bring it up again unless you want to. If you have a question or anything, you can ask me, okay?”
Jace nodded, his eyes still troubled. “I have one question…”
“Only one? Damn, I must be doing better than I thought.”
Jace gave him a weak smile in reply. “Is that all? I mean, there aren’t any more surprises or anything? Like you don‘t turn into a bear or an alligator on alternate Thursdays or anything. You don’t see little green men or hear voices, or think you’ve been kidnapped by aliens.”
Hawke shook his head solemnly, trying not to smile. “No, nothing else. I promise.”
He regarded him thoughtfully. “And in twenty-eight days, if nothing happens….”
“Then I’ll let you take me to any psychiatrist or hospital you want to and I’ll do whatever they say. I promise.”
Jace looked hugely relieved, which told Hawke just how crazy Jace thought he was. He patted Hawke’s chest and kissed his cheek. “And you’d do whatever they told you? Take medication? Go to counseling?”
“Yes, but just give me the twenty-eight days, okay? We won’t talk about it anymore if you don’t want to. Though I do think it might be a good idea to talk to the doctor about this. Dr. Roberts, our doctor here in town.”
“He knows about all this.”
“Oh, yes. He’s part of our pride and a shifter too.”
Jace put a hand to his forehead. “My head hurts.”
Hawke pulled his hand down and kissed his forehead. “Let me make you feel better then.” He pressed Jace back on the sofa and began kissing down his chest.
Chapter Eight
Hawke took the next few days off to give Jace time to adjust and process what Hawke had told him about the shifting, although Hawke knew he was only humoring him and waiting for the twenty-eight days to pass so he could drag him to a psychiatrist.
Meanwhile Hawke enjoyed their time together, both the companionship and the sex. They went swimming one day in an old abandoned rock quarry that Hawke told Jace he and Spencer used to sneak into. The next day they went fishing in the creek behind Hawke’s house. And they talked—they talked about everything and found that they agreed on a lot of topics, though music wasn’t one of them. Hawke was a died-in-the-wool country music fan and Jace definitely was not, preferring what he called hardcore punk bands like Black Flag and the Dead Kennedys, the names of which elicited blank stares from Hawke.
They watched tons of movies too, and Jace introduced Hawke to his favorite television cartoon series, Family Guy. Hawke still wasn’t a fan, and Jace caught him rolling his eyes once when he was laughing at Herbert the Pervert, but he tolerated it anyway and never complained. Much. His taste ran more to Steven Seagal and Vin Diesel films, which Jace pretty much slept through.
Still, Hawke had never considered that having a mate would be this enjoyable. Jace seemed content, too, so he had just put the discussion of cat shifters on the back burner for now. The next dark moon would be upon them in about another two weeks, and Jace could see everything for himself.
Fall was upon them and the air was already beginning to have a little nip to it in the mornings and at night when Jace announced that his birthday was coming up over the weekend. Hawke had immediately suggested going out to a restaurant in Huntsville for dinner.
“There are several good restaurants in town where the food isn’t guaranteed to clog your arteries and the waiters are actually pleasant. In other words, the total opposite of Marie’s.” Hawke was still smarting from earlier in the week when he’d introduced Jace to Marie as his mate.
For the first few days after Hawke had told him about himself, Jace had watched him carefully, probably for any signs of incipient madness. Jace kept his voice very calm and had been extraordinarily kind to him. He woke up in the middle of the night once to find Jace sitting next to him on the side of the bed staring at him, though he’d tried to say he was just resting there on the way to the bathroom. Right. He patted Hawke’s chest a lot and jumped a couple of times when Hawke made a sudden move, but when Hawke apparently didn’t display any weird symptoms, he’d finally seemed to relax.
As soon as he could arrange it, Hawke decided to meet with the doctor and with Spencer and his family in a totally informal setting at the diner. Spencer and Travis had joked around about the shift, actually, and even got a few strained smiles out of Jace. Spencer’s dad, another mate, patted Jace on the shoulder and told him, “Don’t worry, son, you’ll get used to it.”
Marie, of course, was as surly as ever. Her comment, when Hawke introduced Jace as his mate, was, “I didn’t think even you could have been eating all those damn dinners.”
She fixed Hawke with a glare. “Well, he’s too damn pretty to be with you. Are you payin’ him?”
“Goddamn it, Marie…”
“Well, don’t get your panties in a wad. I was just askin,’” she said. “What is he, like fifteen- twenty years younger than you?”
“Six,” Hawke spat out. “If it’s any of your damn business.”
“What you do with your time is up to you…” She said with a wave of her hand and walked away, leaving Hawke fuming and Jace smothering a laugh next to him.
Jace snorted now as Hawke brought up the subject. “She’s a piece of work, but kind of sweet in a way.”
Hawke regarded him with disbelief. “In what kind of way? Just wait until she gets after your ass. You won’t be so nice about her then.”
Jace laughed. “Well, I’d love to go out. Could we go to a club, too?”
Hawke looked doubtful as he said, “I don’t know all about that now.”
“Maybe Marie was right—you might be too old for me.”
Hawke made a grab for him, but he laughed and danced out of his reach. “Please, Hawke. Take me to a club. I want to show you off.”
“Okay, we’ll maybe go for a little while.” Seeing the bright smile on Jace’s face, Hawke told himself that he could probably endure it for one evening.
Later that next afternoon, Hawke was already dressed and waiting for Jace to come out of the bedroom. When he heard him walking down the hall, he turned just as Jace entered the room. “Well, goddamn, Jace.”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Is that what you’re wearing?”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with it? I know these aren’t designer jeans or anything, but I thought they looked okay.”
Hawke had never quite gotten the hang of dressing for the clubs. He was wearing his khaki “dress pants,” a pair of brown loafers and a collared golf shirt. He’d probably stand out like a drag queen in heels at the Methodist Church. Jace, on the other hand, looked incredible. He had on a tight white t-shirt with low-slung jeans that showed a glimpse of his flat belly. His hair was a perfect combination of mussed and calculated, and he looked like he’d just crawled out of bed.
“You look too damn sexy. I’m going to have to fight off every man in that club tonight.”
Jace smiled up at him. “Thank you, I think.”
“You’re welcome. Now, come on, let’s go. I’m starving, plus I’d like to show you off a bit too.” Seeing Jace’s smile made him feel good, and watching Jace’s cute ass as he followed it out to the car made him feel even better. He’d wanted to give Jace a night on the town. All in all, the time they’d spent together had been like a honeymoon of sorts, and Jace was settling in to his new home and even checking into colleges around Huntsville to see about continuing his degree.
Hawke told him he’d pay f
or his college, and Jace only agreed after making Hawke sign a contract with him, in which he promised to pay him back with interest as soon as he’d graduated. Hawke had torn it up as soon as he’d walked away, but it made him proud that Jace wanted to be so responsible.
They had a nice steak dinner in a restaurant Hawke picked out. Hawke’s reasoning was that Jace was just going to have a salad anywhere they went, so one of them at least might as well have a good meal. Afterward, they went to a club Jace had found advertised online.
The club was not the kind that Hawke usually went to—or ever went to, for that matter. He didn’t mind that it was a gay club—he was gay, so why should he? But he hated the club scene. The ones he’d been to in the past were too noisy, too busy and way too damned crowded.
The bouncer at the door was a huge gym bunny with bleached blond hair, wearing a pair of jeans and a shirt so tight that Hawke was afraid it might suddenly snap like a rubber band and put somebody’s eye out. He gave Jace a huge smile as they came up, but gave Hawke a glare that swept over him like a laser beam, probably because of the way he was dressed. Hawke figured his clothes probably screamed cop.
The club, which was named Starlite, was large and had a packed dance floor and a small side area with tiny tables and flimsy looking chairs. The mahogany bar featured bartenders with naked chests and six pack abs. The low level lighting made them look like well-built demons at a bar in hell. The music was some dance remix of God knows what, but Jace seemed to like it. He started shaking and twisting his ass the second they walked in, and it was all Hawke could do not to grab it with both hands and plaster it to his groin.
They wound their way through the crowd to find a table, and Jace mouthed to him that he was going to get them a drink. At least that’s what Hawke thought he said—he’d never been too good at reading lips. He gave him some money anyway, and Jace took off toward the bar. Jace was getting cruised hard by more than one guy on his way to the bar, but he was pretty adept at smiling and dancing away from their grabby hands. Luckily for the ones with the grabby hands, Hawke didn’t have to get involved. He kept his possessive gaze on his mate the whole time, though, and in a few minutes, Jace angled his way through the crowds and back to the table with a beer for Hawke and some kind of creamy-colored concoction for himself.
“What’s that?” Hawke asked, talking loud near his ear.
“A dirty orgasm. Part orange liqueur, part Irish cream and some other stuff—I forgot what. Want a sip?”
“No, I’ll pass. Be careful with those. Mixing all those liqueurs can knock your dick in the dirt.”
“I know. I know,” Jace said, smiling. “I’ll just have one. I like my dick right where it is.”
Hawke smiled at him and pulled him between his legs, so that he was facing him. Jace smiled down at him as Hawke bent his head to kiss the little strip of belly showing above Jace’s jeans. “I could think of a place I’d like to have mine right about now.”
Jace actually blushed and Hawke laughed out loud. The music died down for a moment and just in that space of time when things had quieted but his ears were still ringing from the loud music, a voice behind them spoke up. “Well, hell must have frozen over when I wasn’t looking. Fuckin’ Hawke Sutherland is in a gay bar.”
Hawke turned around, the smile frozen on his face as he saw who’d spoken.
“Holden Mackay,” Hawke drawled. “I thought I smelled shit in here.”
****
Jace was shocked at Hawke’s words and was surprised to see Hawke’s cousin Travis step up in front of the man Hawke had insulted. The man had made no move at all, and was still smiling serenely back at Hawke while Travis had his fists clenched by his sides and was clearly angry.
The man with Travis was handsome, about Hawke’s age and height, though leaner and not so muscled. He had reddish blond hair and blue eyes, and was neatly and expensively dressed. His gaze drilled into Hawke’s, and Jace suddenly remembered that this was the man Hawke said was his family’s enemy. Bad blood between them, he’d said.
“Cut it out, Hawke,” Travis said. “You don’t have to be such an asshole. We were just coming over to say hello.” The man with Travis shook his head.
“It’s okay, Travis,” Holden said, his voice as velvety smooth and rich as dark chocolate. “I hardly expected anything better from Hawke. He comes out so rarely in public he just doesn’t know how to act, do you Hawke?”
Hawke looked him up and down contemptuously, but addressed Travis. “So you’re taking out the trash these days, Travis?”
“Hawke, please…” Travis turned back to Holden. “See, I told you he’d just be an ass if we came over. Let’s go, Holden. Please.”
“Robbing the cradle now, Holden?” Hawke said, his voice stopping them. “What’s the matter, can’t get any adults to go out with you?”
“I might ask you the same question, Hawke,” Holden said, looking over at Jace. “Very pretty, by the way. I didn’t think you had it in you.” He leaned closer and put his index finger under Jace’s chin, tipping it up. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”
Hawke knocked his hand away with a loud growl that could be heard even over the music. “Keep your damn hands to yourself,” he said, standing up and putting himself between Jace and Holden. Jace put a hand on his arm in alarm.
“It’s cool, Hawke.”
Hawke turned and gave him a furious look. “No, it isn’t. Stay out of this, Jace.”
Holden stepped back, holding up both hands in mock surrender. “No offense intended, Hawke. It’s not what you think.”
Hawke sneered at him, looking dangerous. “How would you know what I think?”
“Just admiring the merchandise.”
“The merchandise is off-limits, asshole.”
“No problem,” Holden said, still smiling. He put his arm around Travis’s waist again. “I already have what I need right here, anyway.”
Hawke turned his head away in disgust. “I gave you more credit, Travis.” Hawke took Jace’s hand and tugged on it. “We’re leaving, Jace. It’s getting too crowded in here.”
“But-but we just got here…” Jace pulled back against his hand, gesturing vaguely toward their table and their drinks.
“We’re leaving now,” Hawke said, this time jerking on his arm. Jace cast an accusatory glare up at him.
“Ow. Damn, Hawke, don’t pull my arm out of my socket.”
Holden stepped closer to be heard over the music, but this time he addressed Jace, not Hawke. “You can stay with us if you like, sweetheart. We’ll even take you home later, right, Travis?”
Travis nodded uncertainly, looking from Holden back to Hawke, whose face had turned an interesting shade of red. Jace stepped backward instinctively and toward Hawke. He slipped his hand into Hawke’s. “No, that’s okay. Thanks anyway.”
Hawke contented himself with one more glare before stalking out of the club, holding onto Jace’s hand tightly as Jace almost had to run to keep up with him. Jace held onto his temper until they reached the SUV, but he turned to Hawke when they got in.
“Some night on the town. Damn it, Hawke, I wanted to dance a while.”
Hawke stared straight ahead out the windshield. “I told you how I feel about that son-of-a-bitch.”
“It’s a big club, Hawke. We didn’t have to stay with them.”
“Well, go on back in there with them then, if you want to,” Hawke said angrily, his hands gripping the steering wheel. “He said he’d bring you home.”
“Maybe I should!”
“Who’s stopping you?”
They glared at each other for another few seconds before Jace finally sighed and took his hand off the door handle. “I don’t want to go without you.”
Hawke leaned across him, mashed down the door handle, and pushed open the door. “No, go on. Go get drunk and shake your ass some more. It’s what you’re good at.”
Jace turned a furious face toward him. “Fuck you then. I will!” He jumped out of the
SUV and stood glaring back into it. “Don’t worry about me—I’ll get somebody to take me home!”
“I have no doubt!” Hawke threw the truck in gear and accelerated backward out of the space so fast Jace jumped back out of the way, sure he’d hit either him or the cars behind him. He managed not to do either one and sped off along the aisle of cars until he reached the end of the row, and Jace saw his red brake lights jam on. The SUV sat idling for a moment and then backed up at an alarming rate of speed back down the aisle. Hawke stopped next to Jace and threw open the passenger door. “Get in!” he yelled, but Jace stubbornly shook his head, backing up a step.
“Damn it, Jace! Get in the damn truck!” Hawke slammed the gears on, surged out of the truck and came around the back and right up to Jace. Jace stood his ground, staring steadily back up at him. He wasn’t afraid of him—not much—and he’d be damned if he’d let anyone bully him. Hawke came up to him so furiously that Jace pulled back a fist and swung at him without even thinking it through.
Hawke ducked, missing the fist, but catching it in his hand and holding it in mid-air. He stared down into Jace’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” he ground out, a low growl in his throat. “Now get in the damn truck.” He shifted his eyes to the side and huffed out a heavy sigh. “Please, Jace.”
Jace nodded after the briefest hesitation, but jerked his hand out of Hawk’s grip and walked stiffly over to climb into the passenger seat. Hawke climbed back in and they took off out of the lot at a high rate of speed. Neither of them spoke a word as Hawke negotiated the heavy Friday night traffic and made his way to the highway that would lead back up the mountain.
They didn’t speak all the way back up the mountain. Jace’s abandonment issues had come roaring back full force when Hawke had driven off and left him standing there and he was having a hard time getting over the way it had made him feel. He never would have left Hawke like that, not even for a second, and he was still hurt and confused by it.
