The Captain and the Prime Minister

by Catherine Curzon

  Kelly nodded and said, “Well, I’ve had my own run-ins with the papers. They’re obsessed over my tan lines, you know! I had a long lens pointed in my hotel window in Thailand.”

  Pierce tutted, shaking his head, before asking, “So, Alex, you think that the public aren’t interested in things like—Kelly’s tan lines, or who you’re dating?” He was wearing a frown that seemed to say, I’m a serious journalist, asking the important questions of the day.

  “I live in the real world, Pierce. I’m sure people’re interested, but I think there has to be some measure of privacy, don’t you?” Kelly was nodding firmly, her expression now composed into something resembling serious as she listened. “There are plenty of opportunities to indulge in a bit of celebrity gossip with the full consent of the celebrities involved. I think people are a little bit tired of the old-school way of doing it. And this weekend they were very clear that they don’t consider someone’s sexual orientation as anything other than private.”

  “Totally.” Kelly nodded.

  “But isn’t it, if the person concerned is the prime minister?” Pierce put everything into his pantomime of offended morality.

  Alex looked utterly comfortable despite the question. He frowned and asked Pierce, “Why?”

  “You would be our first gay prime minister,” Pierce said slowly, as if Alex was rather dim. “And I’m sure there’s lots of gay and lesbian voters out there who would be pleased to know that the prime minister is one of them.”

  “I think that people are more interested in a government that delivers on the things that matter, regardless of their private lives.” This wasn’t the man who’d looked so tired at PMQs, Tom could see. This was Alex as he’d always known him. “We all care about health, education, employment. There are a hundred more important factors than my sexuality, and that’s what we’re focusing on. It’s what’s behind my bill, it’s what the electorate voted for.”

  “But surely, Alex, you must know that people are intrigued by what goes on behind the door of number 11.” Pierce folded his arms, as if he was bored. “You and your late wife hired a male nanny, a choice that went down well with the politically correct. And now, you’re apparently sleeping with the man. We have a gay relationship in Downing Street, but you don’t want the public to know.”

  For a moment Alex was silent, then he asked, “Why would you think I didn’t want the public to know? Do you think I’m trying to put the lid on my sordid little secret?”

  Yet he sounded as pleasant as ever, like a man chatting with friends in the pub.

  Pierce held out his hands, pouting. “So you, yourself, would call it sordid?”

  “Oh, Pierce, come on—how long have I been doing this? I’d call you prurient, but I wouldn’t call my domestic situation anything but settled and loving.” Alex smiled, all placid charm. “Sorry.”

  “Aw, that’s lovely.” Kelly beamed. “You should be happy, you’ve had some tragedy since you got the top job!”

  Pierce nodded, adding, “Losing your wife only a few months after the birth of your children must’ve been very difficult. Finding comfort in the arms of a nanny wouldn’t be unusual were it not for the fact that your nanny is a man.”

  “Do you want to talk about this weekend or are you absolutely set on my love life?” Alex smiled. “We can do either, Pierce. It’s disappointing, because I really want to talk about the wonderful groundswell of support and the way people came together, but you’re the ringmaster.”

  Kelly laughed. “He wishes.”

  “But what happened this weekend came about because of these revelations about your sexuality.” Pierce shook his head and sighed. “So yes, it is a relevant part of this interview.”

  “Okay. You’re a journalist, you want your scandal, I get it.” Alex nodded, then glanced into the studio darkness toward Tom. “When Gill died, I couldn’t have got through it without a huge amount of help. Our family and friends were amazing, and so were people we never even met, people who got in touch just to say how sorry they were and to remind us that we weren’t alone. Gill chose Tom to look after the kids, and when she knew she wasn’t going to make it, one of the most important things to her was that he was there for all of us. And before you jump on that, I don’t mean as anything but a friend. And he’s been there ever since. If you want your scoop, this is it. Until last week we were best friends, and it took us until then to realize that we’d fallen in love with each other. And I’m not at all ashamed to admit it.”

  And just like that, Alex told the world, not a hint of embarrassment or timidity about it.

  Tom wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his jumper, then he blew Alex a kiss even though he didn’t think Alex would see.

  “Last week?” Pierce spluttered, incredulous. “The report in the Mail suggested that this had been going on for much longer than that. In fact, before your wife passed away. There’s nothing wrong with being gay these days, and although it’s not unusual for politicians to have affairs, it’s still scandalous stuff. Are you claiming you’ve only been in love with this manny—who apparently is very attractive, although I wouldn’t know—for a week in order to hide the fact that it’s actually been for very much longer?”

  “While Gill was here we were rather preoccupied with dealing with her terminal illness and two newborns.” Alex shook his head. “Tom and I have been together a week and I’m happily singing it from the rooftops because I can’t quite believe it myself. I know you weren’t suggesting I’d had an affair, of course, I can almost hear the show’s lawyers clenching at the thought of it!”

  “Oh come on, Pierce, you know he’s gorge!” Kelly nudged him. “Stop pretending you don’t. You can still be straight and think a bloke’s good-looking, you know!”

  “I really don’t know if a man is attractive or not. I’m not gay!” Pierce protested. Tom heard a note of desperation in that tone—was Pierce trying to hide something about himself? Even if he was, though, Tom wouldn’t delve. Unlike Pierce. “Alex, when you first met your manny, then, did you think, cor, he’s gorgeous, or didn’t you notice until a few years had gone by? I’m just curious, really, as to how this works, going from being a straight man to a gay bloke.”

  “I don’t think sexuality has to be quite so rigid, do you?” Alex asked. “I didn’t notice anybody other than Gill because I was married and very, very happy. You’re trying so hard to get an angle, but it’s called bisexuality. It’s pretty common.”

  “Oh, hang on.” Kelly pushed her finger into her ear. “Oh, Alex, your mum-in-law’s on the phone, she wants to have her say. Funny, Pierce, the gallery said they’ve been telling you for five minutes!”

  Jenny. Tom wasn’t sure exactly what he thought about this new development.

  “My earpiece must be on the blink!”

  The man evidently wasn’t an actor, because that was the least convincing fib Tom had ever heard. Even three-year-olds could fib better than that.

  “Hello, Jenny!” Kelly exclaimed. “You’ve got something to say to Pierce, I think?”

  “Hello, Kelly,” Jenny’s voice said. She sounded incredibly posh, Tom thought, like a woman doing her very best phone voice. “I’d just like to give our perspective on it really, as grandparents.”

  “Please do.” Kelly smiled, positively beaming at Pierce.

  “Right, well. Alex was a marvelous hubby to Gill and he dotes on the twins, they’re his life! But Gill thought the world of Tom and so do we all. I know you’re trying to be shocking, Mr. Cowell, but really, shame on you. We couldn’t be happier for Alex and Tom. They’re perfect together.”

  Pierce laughed, a dismissive bray which didn’t quite disguise a creeping sense of horror that was visible on his face. “Trying to be shocking, Mrs.…erm…Jenny? I’m merely asking the questions that the public who weren’t parading through London on Saturday want the answers to!”

  “I’m the public,” Jenny pointed out. “I have a very personal stake in Alex’s domestic situation and even I did
n’t ask such intrusive questions. It’s Monday morning, for heaven’s sake. What must you be like by Friday?”

  Pierce folded his arms again. This time it looked defensive. “But surely you were tempted to ask? Weren’t you? Weren’t you curious about such an unusual domestic set-up right under your nose?”

  “Would you have expected me to pry if the nanny in question had been a lady?” Jenny asked. “I hope I’m wrong, Mr. Cowell, but this has a distinct whiff of prejudice!”

  “Prejudice— That’s just— I’m not prejudiced!” A faint squeak of panic had entered Pierce’s voice. “Some of my best friends are gay, although I don’t want to go to bed with them—just want to make that clear. Heavens, no.”

  “I bet you listen to Freddie Mercury too.” Jenny chuckled, and, on the sofa, Alex gave a bark of laughter. “Because you’re very modern, Mr. Cowell!”

  “Jenny,” Alex warned with a smile. “Pierce can’t help his fragile masculinity!”

  “Look, now that’s—that’s pretty below the belt, Alex, can I just say?”

  Tom snorted with laughter. He couldn’t help it, and Pierce glared into the shadows, almost right at him.

  “In case viewers are wondering, Pierce is giving the lovely Tom a Paddington Bear hard stare.” Kelly grinned. “He’s going to turn to stone if you keep glaring at him!”

  Tom glared back, but Pierce couldn’t possibly see, so Tom moved nearer. He’d eyeballed enough new recruits in his time to know he could give a terrifying stare if he needed to. Tom came farther and farther forward, one military marching step at a time, until a floor manager appeared beside him, waving a clipboard at him. Tom turned and found himself staring down a camera lens. He had crossed the cordon sanitaire.

  Oh shit.

  Tom waved. “Erm… Morning, people of Britain!”

  “Darling!” Alex gestured to Tom. “Come and sit down!”

  “Hello, Tom, darling,” Jenny said. “I’m off to have coffee with Di now. I’ll see you both later!”

  “Bye, Di!” Tom waved again, he and Jenny apparently using a television studio for a Skype session.

  Tom sat down on the sofa and put his hand on Alex’s knee.

  Pierce bristled, but seemed to be attempting to regain control. “So joining us on the sofa with the prime minister is his—what do we call you? Boyfriend?”

  “That’ll do.” Tom had no idea if he was doing this right. A boom microphone swung overhead and it occurred to him he hadn’t been miked up. Had anyone heard him?

  “Panic over, we can do it the old way.” Kelly passed a handheld mic across to Tom. “Tom, we’re just flashing up some tweets on the monitor for viewers and I think it’s fair to say, Alex and you have caused a sensation all over again. Love is love is trending and—” she laughed. “Oh, Pierce, a few people are saying Jenny might make a good anchor!”

  Pierce laughed, his teeth revealed from his drawn-back lips like a horse’s. “Yes, I’d like to see that. Now—Tom, we’ve put to bed, if you’ll pardon the pun, the rumors about you and Alex having a gay affair while his lamented, lovely wife Gill was still with us. But is it the case that you have had an affair in this relationship with Alex? The story broke thanks to Stuart Donnelly, your boyfriend.”

  Tom’s throat dried up. Is this right? Are telly presenters allowed to do this? Tom glanced at Alex.

  “The same Stuart Donnelly who moved to Spain nearly three years ago?” Alex looked at Tom and squeezed his hand. “Unless he’s got a TARDIS, I’m not sure how the timelines match up!”

  “The same Stuart Donnelly who said in the Mail…” Pierce riffled through the papers on the table in front of him and found the Mail open on the relevant page. He held it up to the camera. “Who said that Tom was his date. Which implies that—Tom, were you having an affair?”

  Pierce was staring again, so Tom stared right back.

  “Stuart and I were soldiers together. I trusted him with my life. Once we were civvies, we dated, and Stuart got the hump because Gill was ill, I was caring for the twins, looking after Alex.” Tom took a moment to compose himself before continuing. “And Stuart went off to Spain and dumped me via text—while he was at the airport. He must’ve been in the tunnel going onto the plane. Maybe he was even in his seat, reading the inflight magazine? And I didn’t hear from him or see him until the other week. And do you know what he told me? He told me he’d been seeing other men behind my back. If you want scandal and affairs, Mr. Cowell, there they are. But I’ve never done the dirty on anyone. I never would.”

  Pierce’s mouth opened and closed like a beached fish’s. He glanced at Kelly. She looked utterly serene as she said, “I think you make an adorable couple, I really do. And I think ‘love is love’ is the message we all need just now. Alex and Tom, we’ve got to go to break, but thank you for sharing your story with us.”

  Tom nodded dumbly. Should he have said all of that? But he felt calm now. He’d said his piece.

  “That was brilliant.” Kelly stood and took the microphone back from Tom. She stepped past Pierce as though he wasn’t even there. “You’re both brilliant. And you’re a gorgeous couple.”

  “Thanks,” Tom said.

  Pierce, his face rather red, had his finger in his ear, nodding. His earpiece was finally working, it seemed.

  “It’s been a pleasure,” Alex assured them. He was already unclipping his microphone as he stood. “I’m flat out until the division tomorrow, so we need to run. But thank you both, it’s been…exhilarating.”

  Pierce was on his feet, grabbing Alex’s hand for an energetic handpump. “It’s been great, cheers, thanks for coming on the show. Hope you didn’t mind my line of questioning, but you you know how it is, we can’t court editorial bias or the keyboard warriors take off on Twitter!”

  “I imagine your timeline’s going to be busy.” Alex shook his hand graciously. “For all sorts of reasons.”

  “My PA will already be dealing with it, I’m sure,” Pierce replied coldly. “Tom, do you shake hands?”

  “Erm…yes. I can also drive a tank.”

  “Ha ha, that’s it, fella!” Pierce now shook Tom’s hand, and Tom gave his firmest army grip in response. “Careful, I quite like that hand!”

  And now they were very official indeed. And everybody had better be happy for them, because otherwise Jenny would have plenty to say about it.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  In bed that night, Tom recounted his moment on television.

  “I didn’t even mean to go on camera,” he told Alex as he stroked his fingertips over Alex’s chest. “I just kept striding forward and suddenly—there I was.”

  “And you were amazing.” Alex snuggled him close. “Mandy’s been fending off calls to interview you all day. You know you don’t have to turn them down, darling. The decision’s got to be yours.”

  “I don’t mind doing a few.” Tom kissed Alex’s shoulder. “I just—I don’t want to say the wrong thing and make it difficult for you.”

  “While I was sat on that sofa trying not to punch Cowell’s lights out, I came to a decision.” He blinked, stroking Tom’s hair. “About the second term.”

  Anxiety crawled into Tom’s stomach and lay there like a serpent waiting to strike. “And…and what did you decide?”

  “I had a good run, but I’m a father and a boyfriend now, and I think we’d all benefit from getting out of the city, don’t you?” Alex smiled. “I’m leaving Parliament at the next election. I’m going back to the charity sector and we’re going to have a long family holiday.”

  Tom stared at him. “But—you’re such a good prime minister. I mean—I’d love to see more of you, the kids would too, but are you sure? You’re so popular, even after all this, you’d win the election easily!”

  “I don’t want to look back in five years and say, when did my kids reach nine? I’m leaving the country in a better state than I found it and if the bill goes through tomorrow… Well, there’s nothing more I’d ask for than that. Are you okay
with not being the PM’s boyfriend, darling?”

  “Well, I was looking forward to wearing Jackie O pearls and those boxy skirt suits that prime minister’s other halves always wear.” Tom chuckled. “But maybe they wouldn’t have suited me anyway.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll still roll up my sleeves and unfasten one too many buttons.” Alex stroked down Tom’s chest. “I think you deserve the credit for the morning’s interview, you know.”

  “No, no, you put Pierce in his place! So did Jenny!” Tom laughed. “That was brilliant. What a fantastic mother-in-law.”

  “But after last night, I was floating above the clouds. And that’s all down to you.” He drew his fingertips over Tom’s erection. “Captain.”

  Tom purred with delight. “It’s amazing what a good old-fashioned roll in the hay can do.”

  “I’ve got a mad day tomorrow. Cabinet in the morning, and it’s my bill in the evening, I’ll be lucky to be home before ten.” Alex sighed, then asked casually, “So how would you feel about another roll in the hay tonight, to keep me going tomorrow?”

  Tom saluted. “Captain Southwell at your service, sir. Always ready to do my duty for the country. And my lovely PM.” He kissed Alex, then said, “So…any requests this evening, my love?”

  “This might be a bit twee, but…you’re so nice to cuddle up to. I wondered—” He flushed and asked, “How do you feel about a bit of old-fashioned spooning?”

  “Now that’s definitely something I can get behind—I mean, you can get behind!” Tom rubbed the tip of his nose against Alex’s. “I do love being held by you, and I do love feeling you inside me, Alex. That’s not crude, is it?”

  “No.” Alex shook his head. “Not a bit.”

  “Good.” Tom kissed him again, then kissed his way down to Alex’s chest, stroking the scattering of hair there. Beneath his lips he felt Alex’s heartbeat quicken, a soft sigh slipping from his parted lips. “Would you like a treat first?” Tom asked.

  “I’m never going to say no to that.” Alex combed his fingers through Tom’s hair. “I’d love a treat.”