Christmas Treats - A Collection of Holiday Rom-coms

by Piper Rayne

  “Mmm, I like this. Is this my surprise?” I hoped this was it. I already dealt with a grumpy toddler today and barely got dinner made before wanting to fall asleep standing up. I mean, I ordered pizza because I could totally handle that, but waiting for the delivery guy to show up before Evan got home seemed like a new form of torture.

  “No, sweet girl.” Evan picked me up and placed me in the middle of our bed before coming down on top of me. He caged me in and I snuggled against him. I ran my hands over his chest and down his muscled arms. If there was such a thing as arm porn, I would drool over my husband’s thick veined arms. They reminded me of other thick veined parts of him that made me blush and involuntarily shudder.

  “I’m going to come cook with you,” he said, disrupting my arm-porn fantasy.

  Did he say cock or was my mommy brain fried?

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Cooking, love. I’m going to join you in your class.”

  “You are?” I looked at him, skeptically.

  “Actually, Chase and I both signed up so we could join our girls. Like a double date of sorts.” His eyebrows wiggled suggestively and for some reason, I wanted to shout bullshit.

  “A double date?” Something was fishy in Evan’s suggestion as in, this man didn’t need a cooking class. He practically took meat, threw it on heat, and it magically became edible. Unlike my novice attempts, which were solely focused on not having the fire department respond, I figured it was a man-grill-food thing. Something akin to it has a dick, it can grill. Crude, but fairly accurate in my experience.

  “It’ll be fun.”

  “Fun,” I repeated, hoping he would elaborate.

  “Yes, that chicken dish you brought home was really good, and I figured we could learn them together.”

  Definitely smelled some bullshit in this conversation worse than our son’s last diaper explosion.

  “I thought the point of Winnie and I going was so that we could surprise you two with a nice holiday meal and dessert without having to keep emergency services on call.”

  “Oh, darling, no. Not at all. We thought it would fun, unless you don’t want us to go…” The rest had been left unsaid. I did tell Evan about the odd instructor, but he had been strangely silent regarding his thoughts on him.

  I tossed my head to the side and caught a glimpse of his arm flexing, and I was mesmerized by the sinew and movement. If I wasn’t mistaken, this whole thing was posturing on his part, and I was determined to get to the real reason behind his sudden interest in a cooking class.

  “This wouldn’t happen to be about the guy teacher would it?”

  “Guy teacher? Oh, uh, no.” He scrunched his face up, shook his head, and didn’t once make eye contact. Ah-ha!

  “Are you sure, because Winnie and I are just fine going to the class without you guys.”

  “And miss out on all the fun? We already registered.” He made a pouting face that was hard to resist.

  “Okay, fine, but just know that you’ll be the only two guys in class beside Federico, and I don’t know how I feel about the rest of the ladies ogling you. These arms are mine.” I reached for him, stroking his arms up and down.

  “All yours, promise.”

  I sighed, more than aware Evan outmaneuvered me in this. He was coming, jealous husband that he was, and now he was going to use some sexy time to distract me. Fine. I could live with that.

  Because you know, my life was so hard with a loving, adoring partner.

  “Kiss me, now that you’ve decided to interfere in my cooking class.” I lay flat, pretending to give up and submit my whole body to him. The stubborn man laughed, chest rumbling and teasing me as he grinded me deeper into the mattress with seductive purpose.

  “Happily, my wife.” Evan started his kisses on my lips and then moved to the sensitive spot between my neck and ear, nibbling on the skin until I writhed under him. He moved lower and raised himself up to pull his T-shirt off in a one-handed move behind his neck that would make me swoon well into our eighties, of that I was certain.

  I tensed with each biting kiss and quivered as he had his way with me, licking and mischievously rucking up my nightgown. Our banter was playful, and when Evan finally parted my thighs and lifted one leg over his shoulder to drive in deep, I had to bite my lip to keep from waking our son.

  “Evan.” I groaned when he wouldn’t let me hold back.

  “Come on, little momma, soak my dick with your sugar.” His dirty talk made me gush, and I gave up trying to be quiet tonight. He had me exactly where he wanted me and I loved it, surrendering to him completely.

  We ended up needing to shower and strip the bed because he’d practically pulled everything off the mattress. I might not be able to cook, but I mastered a fitted sheet like nobody’s business, and Evan made sure I knew how much he appreciated my domestic efforts.

  7

  Evan

  The class began at six and lasted two full hours. I was less than happy when we pulled into the high school parking lot where the classes were being held to have a text message waiting for me from Chase. We usually had each other’s back, but it seemed tonight he was dropping the ball on me. Dude owed me big now.

  Chase: I’m sick as a dog. Winnie is too. We think we have the sickness that’s going around. Bailing tonight. Sorry. XOXO

  I’d XOXO his face later.

  I didn’t even bother responding. The flu was going around along with a nasty twenty-four-hour bug. I preferred they stayed home instead of getting the rest of us sick, but it couldn’t have been at a worse time. We were supposed to tag team this flirtatious fuckwit, but now I had to fly solo. I exhaled a loud breath filled with annoyance and wondered if I could convince my sweet wife that we could just go home and forget the whole cooking thing. I’d be happy to order take-out and man the grill whenever possible.

  “Evan, what’s wrong? You have that look on your face like you ate something sour. I didn’t even make your lunch today.”

  Yeah, there would be no backing out of this. Remi had her heart set on going, and I had my heart set on making her as happy as possible. I pinched her chin between my fingers gently and moved across the vehicle to kiss her lips in a lingering kiss meant to leave her breathless.

  “Chin up, sweet girl. It’s nothing to worry about.” I kissed her again until she moaned all sweet and compliant.

  Pushing back, she waved her hand. “Your face says otherwise.” Her chest heaved and I knew my mission to distract her was almost accomplished by the dazed look in her eyes.

  I grabbed her hand and kissed the tips of her fingers, licking the pointer one for fun.

  “Eww, stop that. We’re going to be cooking food, and you’re being unsanitary in the car.”

  I shrugged and reached into the glove box handing her a baby wipe to clean up. She made me laugh. Leave it to Remi to kill the mood unwittingly.

  “Where’s the troublesome duo?” She scanned the parking lot, looking for their car, which of course wasn’t here.

  “Chase and Winnie have that virus going around so they’re probably staying home. I just got a text from Chase.” I waved my phone before jamming it back into my pocket.

  “Oh, no! We should go bring them something. Maybe chicken soup from the diner?” Remi was already putting on her seatbelt, but I stopped her.

  “Sweet, but no. I don’t want you anywhere near them if they’re sick. We’re making a baby, love.” I caressed her arm and tried to be flirty, but she was on to my wicked ways.

  Remi huffed and picked up her purse from the floor of the car. “Fine.” She opened her door and got out, leaving me to hurry up after her, locking the doors.

  I snickered. She was cute when I said no, which wasn’t often, but still. It was possibly the flu or something else equally contagious and even though she had a huge heart, I wasn’t risking her health. Those two cooking class dropouts could call Grub Hub if they were hungry and starving.

  I walked into the classroom and spotted R
emi at one of the front stations, reading over the ingredient list and sorting the items put out on our table.

  “Ah, Ms. Rooney. Lovely to see you again.” Fuckwit came up to the table with his clipboard and recipe cards as I got there. He scribbled on one of them and handed the card to Remi, who took it. He better not have put his phone number on the back of the recipe because I couldn’t promise to keep my cool. This is why I needed my wingman, but I was on my own and had to keep my temper in check.

  “Mrs. Rooney.” I grunted, eyeballing the teacher. I could totally take him if I had to. He might have been gym buff and wielded a butcher knife, but I was pretty jacked myself and had a reason for wanting to throw down with his roving eye.

  “And you must be the mister.” He held out his hand, but I didn’t take it, and he retreated when he saw his overture wasn’t welcome.

  “Yeah.” I nodded at him. I didn’t have to like him as long as he did his job.

  “Evan, you’re being rude.” Remi jabbed her little boney elbow into my side, and I grunted out of habit.

  “Sweet girl, I don’t like this guy,” I said, not looking at her but keeping my gaze locked on him.

  “I couldn’t tell,” she drawled, letting her south out. “Can we just cook and go home?”

  “Sure.” I took the head of lettuce at our station and started chopping it vigorously. I imagined it was Federico’s body parts and hacked away while he chatted amongst the other groups. Every time he made his rounds, he politely bypassed our table.

  On the second go around, Remi was putting the shepherd’s pie into the oven. Her round, plump backside strained the seams of her skinny jeans. From the corner of my eye, I saw Federico eying up my wife and saw red. He took a step closer, and I moved in front of Remi, blocking his view of her prime real-estate. I narrowed my eyes, and he dipped his chin like the fucker was actually going to challenge me.

  “Evan, can you set the timer?” Remi asked and I had to search for the damn thing, since I wasn’t paying attention.

  “Uh huh.” I took the timer and twisted the knob, not even looking at what I put on the timer.

  The guy resumed his walk-about of the classroom ignoring us the rest of the class, which frustrated Remi and made me only too happy.

  Forty minutes later Remi called to me in a panic. “Evan? Evan! I think our pie is burning?”

  “Shit.” I grabbed oven mitts and carefully moved her out of the way as I opened the oven door and pulled out our sad mini scorched pies. They looked nothing like the recipe.

  “Ugh, this one isn’t on me. You set the timer too long. No wonder everyone else’s came out like twenty minutes sooner.” Remi poked me in the stomach, and I slapped the oven mitts down on the table as pissed as she was except for a different reason.

  “Fuck,” I shouted, startling the other aspiring chefs. Two women who brought their teenage daughters gave me a dirty look, and I sheepishly apologized. Across the room I saw Federico smirking. I hated that guy.

  Turning back to the oven, I noticed the temperature was set incorrectly, about a hundred degrees off. I picked up the card on the table and saw the scribble changing the temperature.

  My brain and body felt like they were disconnecting as my internal kettle boiled getting ready to blow my top off.

  “I’m gonna kill him,” I muttered.

  “Evan. No. I just want to go home.” Remi tugged on my sleeve, and I took her hand in mine. She looked concerned, but my sweet girl should know me by now.

  Federico gave that smarmy smile, and I clenched my fists. “Problem? Oh, it looks like you burned your pies. Too bad.”

  I repeated in my head not to do anything stupid. I hadn’t felt this level of anger since Remi’s ex showed up, thinking he could have visitation with Ethan. Only problem was that I didn’t have Damien here to beat him up or the rest of the guys to pull me off him if I went to town on his face.

  “Evan.” Remi’s stern voice snapped me out of my homicidal fantasy, and I gritted my teeth.

  “Look, pal, I don’t appreciate you screwing up our recipe, nor do I like the fact you’re standing over there eye-fucking my wife.”

  “This is a cooking class. I am merely helping my students learn,” Federico admonished, trying to look innocent.

  “Is that what we call preying on the women in here?” He was a total creeper, and I was calling him out. I saw a lady in the back nod her head at me. She knew. I was good.

  “You should stick this turkey baster up your peppy ass and choke on it.” I took the kitchen tool and shoved it at his chest, forcing him to catch it.

  “I think you should leave and not come back,” Federico snapped.

  Fine.

  That was cool with me.

  “Come on, Remi.” I put my arm around her, but she stopped short and turned around, the fire coming out of her red hair like flames.

  My sweet girl was hot when she was pissed.

  Except when that ire swung in my direction with the force of a cast iron pan in full swing like I sensed it was about to do in about five minutes when we reached the car in the parking lot.

  “I’m taking my pie.” Remi packed up her burnt pie and put it in her little Tupperware container. I sort of hoped she would have left it and we could have gone to the diner, but I had a sinking feeling I was about to eat not just burnt pie, but a huge helping of humble pie.

  8

  Remi

  I couldn’t even look at my husband I was so mad at him. “I cannot believe you got me kicked out of the cooking class. You just couldn’t control your caveman jealousy in the least, could you?” I huffed, storming out of the building toward Evan’s SUV. The man had some serious brass balls, convincing me this was going to be a double date and then oops, no Chase or Winnie because they got sick.

  “Remington.” He huffed, following close behind me. There were few times he used my full name, and I wasn’t in the mood for an explanation of his bad behavior. His heat trailed after me, and I quickened my pace, too angry in the moment to be reasonable. How dare he! He dared because he thought he was protecting me in some weird, white knight, old-school way. He was more likely to get himself socked in the noggin with my good fry pan if he kept this up.

  I pointed my finger at him, shaking it. “Don’t you Remington me, Evan Eoghan Rooney.”

  He winced when I used his middle name. “Sweet girl, come on.” He pointed back at the building. “That guy was a total pervert and you know it.”

  “I was finally, finally learning how to cook something decent, and you had to come in all overprotective caveman and ruin it for me.” My stomach rolled and I wiped tears from my face. If he thought for a minute I was okay with his behavior, he was in for it.

  “I am sorry, sorry, sorry.” He stepped forward.

  I stepped back, cradling my burnt, sad pie in my hands.

  “No, you’re not.”

  “You’re right. I’m not sorry I came tonight, but I am sorry you feel like I humiliated you and took something away that you wanted.”

  “Oh shut up and get in the car,” I snapped, not feeling very forgiving in the moment, even as my husband opened the car door and helped me get in, even buckling my seat belt and kissing me on the cheek. Evan was the master at groveling when he knew he screwed up, but I was hurt, and mad, and I needed time to process this.

  “I could see if maybe Carmen would give you private cooking lessons.” Evan focused on driving the car and when his hand moved to turn on the radio, I slapped his hand from the knob, wanting silence for my surly mood. “Is that a yes, sweet girl?”

  I turned my head to face the window to avoid looking at him. Petulance was my primary disposition at the moment. I glared out the window and clucked my tongue. Once we pulled into the driveway, I got out of the car and relieved our babysitter, paying her extra for what I felt was a waste of her time. She was pre-med and loved kids. Poor girl could be in her dorm room on campus studying, making something of herself and not much younger than me. Here I was a
young mom and wife unable to master cooking. It was frustrating and made me feel a little bitter.

  She smiled and slipped out while I checked on Ethan in his toddler bed. I brushed back his hair and mentally did my best to calm my raging temper.

  “I love you.” Evan joined me in Ethan’s room and hugged me from behind. We swayed in the dark. His masculine scent calmed my frayed nerves and ignited something else in my core I chose to ignore for the time being. I had no intention of letting him think I was remotely okay with what he’d done tonight, even if it felt like I was suffering right along with him. I needed the mental space tonight even though I wanted his physical proximity.

  He kissed the top of my head, and I squeezed my eyes shut. I would not give in, but I supposed it wouldn’t hurt to acknowledge him either. “I know you do, even when you behave like an idiot Neanderthal.”

  Evan chuckled but coughed it off when my rigid shoulders wouldn’t turn in to his embrace. I was a stubborn red-head through and through.

  “Let’s go to bed.” Evan grabbed my hand, tugging me along. We went to our bedroom together, starting our bedtime routine. It was impossible to stay mad at Evan for long. I slipped under the covers, and he joined me, wrapping his arms around me and nuzzling his face in my neck. He kissed me goodnight, and I lay next to him, hot from my temper but silent in the dark. It took a while for his breathing to slow down to the rhythmic pattern that told me he was asleep and even longer before I could settle myself.

  This was nothing more than a bump in our road. I would get over this, but now I was more determined than ever to cook a decent holiday meal. We’d probably see his parents, despite their strained relationship, maybe even his sister. For me, it meant something for us to be at home together and for me to feel like I was adding something. I didn’t have family outside of Evan and Ethan; this was it for me.