by Erin Trejo
The more he talks, the more excited I become. I have never been out before.
“Okay. I promise I will stay right next to you!” Giving him another quick kiss, I turn and run down the hallway so that I can get ready. I can hear Quinn’s laughter and it sounds like pure perfection to me. My insides clench with happiness when I see Ava in the room.
“Hey!”
“Why are you so happy?” she asks. I proceed to tell her what’s going on, and despite the fact that she’s excited to meet our real parents, she is hesitant as well.
“I really like Stoney,” she says, her cheeks turning pink.
“Are you going tonight?”
“Yes. He asked me but he said that I had to stay with him. I can’t walk away-”
“Or talk to anyone he didn’t approve of?” I finish for her.
“How did you know that?” she asks surprised.
“Quinn gave me the same speech.” We both giggle before Ava sits on the edge of the bed looking up at me.
“Are you happy, Ariel?”
“I don’t really know what happy is but I think so.”
“Me too. I really want to meet our parents, if that’s who they are. I wonder what they are like and if they will remember us.” I smile to myself.
“I’m excited to go out tonight. We haven’t gone anywhere before. I think it will be fun, don’t you?”
I shrug my shoulders unsure of how to respond. We never went anywhere but school and then here when Quinn took us.
“I hope so, although we don’t really know what fun is,” I admit.
“You laugh here, Ariel. That is fun.”
“You might be right, but we have to follow the rules that Quinn and Stoney have given us. We don’t want any more trouble.” Ava nods her head before standing and changing her shirt. I walk to the mirror that hangs above the bed and pull my hair up in my hands, tilting my head to the side to examine my look. I’ve never worn my hair up, we were never allowed to.
“Are you going to put it up?” Ava asks, stepping up next to me with a smile on her face. I love seeing her smile and she does it all the time now.
“I don’t know. Do you think it would look bad?” Ava grabs my hair in her hands and twists it around before holding it against my head. “Where did you learn to do that?” I ask her.
“I’ve watched the girls. They show me sometimes how to do my hair and all. I’ve just never been brave enough to do it.” Smiling widely at her, I spin and hug her.
“Let’s do it then. Let’s put it up. Would you do mine?” Her eyes widen when she pulls back but she smiles yet again.
“You really want me to?” Nodding my head, she squeals and runs into the bathroom bringing back a hair brush and hair ties. She sets to work on my hair before moving to do her own.
“You look beautiful, Ava.”
“As do you sister.”
Chapter 17
Q
There are many people I’d fight on certain things but Ariel isn’t one of them. She stands in front of me in with boots that come to her knees, skinny jeans and a tiny tank top that I’m not sure she should be wearing. But what gets me is the way her long neck is accentuated with her hair pulled up. I’ve never seen her with her hair up and I can’t say that I don’t like it. My cock finds it extremely interesting too. She’s arguing with me about putting a helmet on and messing up her hair. I don’t think I can find it in me to argue back though. Her neck looks so fucking delicious. I feel like a goddamn vampire ready to move in and bite her.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she snaps, pulling my attention back to her eyes. She stares at me as if I’m losing my mind, but that shit’s been gone since the day she stepped foot into my world. Without saying a word, I reach up and slowly slip my fingers down her neck, watching the blush creep across her cheeks.
“Do you know how fuckin’ sexy you look right now?” I ask her already knowing she doesn’t. Ariel doesn’t find herself attractive. They’ve made her believe that she is just who she is - a pawn to be used.
“I don’t think so,” she says lowering her head. I run my fingers back up her neck and over to her chin, lifting her face back to mine. Licking my lips, I lean into her as she watches me. Brushing my lips over hers, she moans.
“You are fuckin’ gorgeous, Ariel. I’ve never seen anything like you,” I tell her softly.
“Except me!” Ava shouts next to us. I turn to look at her and laugh. She’s been very outspoken lately and I like it. She needs to be herself, both of them do.
“Yeah, except you,” I add. The girls giggle as I pull Ariel into my chest, just holding her there. I love feeling her pressed against me, her warmth seeping into my pores. She’s the good in all this evil. They both are.
“You look good today,” I tell Ava.
She smiles but that smile really lights up when she sees Stoney. He stalks toward her like she’s his prey and I wonder if he feels the same way for her as I do Ariel. That thought alone unnerves me. Not the him with her, the part about me feeling things for Ariel. I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s best to walk away, but how can I do that when the pull is so strong? I am watching the interaction between Ava and Stoney when I feel her fingers moving under the hem of my shirt. Glancing down at her, she beams up at me with happiness as I shake my head.
“You’re gonna kill me, baby,” I tell her as she continues the torture she’s inflicting on my body right now. She knows she’s doing it too. Her eyes sparkle with mischief, but when she bites her bottom lip, I almost lose it.
“So, we don’t have to take the bike?” she asks sweetly, knowing that when she has her hands on me, and that drives me crazy. Somethings changing in me. I can feel it. All those jagged edges of my heart are slowly being rounded out but her. She’s piecing me back together whether I want to admit that or not, and in turn, I’m showing her how life should be. How she should enjoy being with someone, not fearing it, and from the look in her eyes, I’m doing a damn good job.
“Fuck!” I groan just from her touch, but I nod my head like a fucking pussy whipped bitch.
“You goin’ soft, Q?” Roman slaps my shoulder when he walks up next to me.
“He’s not soft,” Ariel adds, her cheeks even pinker. God, I think I’m starting to like that mouth of hers a little more.
“You keep talkin’ like that and I can’t be held responsible for my actions, babe.” Her eyes light up and I fall right into her.
“You two make me sick,” Roman grumbles until Ariel pulls her hand from my shirt and turns to him.
“Do you like fighting?” she asks Roman.
She’s curious and understandably so. The sheltered lives they’ve led up until now have given them nothing to go on.
“I do. It lets me get all my frustrations out,” he tells her, crossing his arms over his chest.
“What frustrations?”
“Sexual frustrations! Fucker can’t get none,” Stoney chimes in, fucking with him. Roman flips him off as we all laugh, except Ariel.
“You are a very good looking man,” she says, tilting her head to the side to take him.
It pisses me off a little that she’s eyeing that fucker but I’ve come to know Ariel as a very straight forward person. I raise an eyebrow and watch the interaction between the two of them. Roman looks at her, his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed.
“He was jokin’, darlin’. I can get any girl I want, but I appreciate that.”
“I don’t think you could get any girl you want. Maybe she doesn’t want you,” she presses.
I smirk and wait for Roman to answer that one. He steps closer to her and for a moment I think she’s going to freak out, but she holds her head high and stares back at him. I find myself being prouder and prouder of this girl and it’s a strange feeling to have.
“Who wouldn’t want me?” he asks in her face. Ariel raises an eyebrow and answers.
“I wouldn’t want you.”
The guys all burst into laughter when Ro
man speaks again. “Tell me. What do you like about the pretty boy? I’m genuinely interested.” He watches her but she turns to look at me with a smile that could melt my cold fucking heart.
“He’s perfect. He’s been broken but he put himself back together. He’s had a hard life but he sees the best in it. He cares for people more than he cares for himself. I have no doubt that if his family was threatened, Quinn would lay down his life for them.”
She sees me. I didn’t want her to and I sure as hell didn’t allow it, but still she sees me.
“He has a pretty face and long hair and you still like him?” Roman keeps going but Ariel and I are connected. Our eyes speak when our mouths don’t need to.
“He has a beautiful face.”
Without overthinking it and not giving a fuck about whoever is around, I grab her face in my hands and kiss her. Roman laughs and the other guys holler. Fuck all of them. She fucking sees me. My fingers trail along her cheeks as my tongue dances in her mouth. I’ve never felt this kind of surge in my chest with anyone else. Ariel is different and always will be. When I pull my mouth from hers, she whines. I smirk.
“You want me, don’t you?” I ask her huskily. She nods head, pressing her body against mine.
“Do we have to leave now?” she whines a little. It’s cute and hot all at the same time.
“Promise I’ll make you feel good tonight.”
“Oh for the love of God can we go? I’m gonna be late to my own goddamn fight!” Roman is on edge today although I’m not sure why. He’s been off lately. I need to make it a point to sit down and ask him about it later but right now we need to get on the road.
“He’s right. We gotta go. We’re takin’ the truck,” I add, catching glares from all around. When Roman goes to fight, we go as a club to support him. Hell, it’s a good time for all of us too. We let off a little steam and watch some good fights.
“You takin’ a cage for the lady?” Asphalt teases.
“Look at her, brother. I’d take a goddamn bullet if she told me to,” I smart off. Ariel’s eyes widen as she looks up at me.
“You would?”
“You gonna make me?”
“No, but I find it fascinating that you would do that.”
“Why? You can see straight through me, Ariel. You should know what I feel about you.” That smile that makes my heart leap crosses her face and that’s it. I’m lost in this girl once more.
“I feel the same for you.”
Chapter 18
Ariel
We made good time to the fights, and so far I don’t see anyone that would be a threat to us. I do as I’m told and stay close to Quinn’s side. He holds me protectively there and I find that I like it more and more when he does that. At first, I was a little afraid of him. He looked so innocent with his boyish looks, but I also saw the man in him. The darker man he keeps hidden until he needs to come out and be set free. As strange as it is, I find myself drawn to both sides of Quinn. He tightens his hold as we watch the fights before Roman’s. I can’t believe this is what they like to do.
“There is so much blood,” I say more to myself but he heard me.
“It happens. This isn’t the fake shit. It’s all real.”
“Will Roman be hurt badly?” Looking up at him, he can see the concern in my eyes, but Quinn is never one to sugarcoat anything for me.
“Maybe. It’s a risk he takes doin’ this, though.” A shiver races through my body but Quinn just smirks.
I watch as a girl walks around, shoving her chest in men’s faces before passing them beers. I wonder why she has to do that? I know some of the girls at school were like that too. When she walks up to Quinn and does it, I just watch. He leans in and whispers something in her ear making her laugh. She playfully slaps at him as I step away. I watch the two of them as they smile and joke around. Something in my chest tightens. Was what he was saying all this time true? Could he not be with just me? I blink rapidly trying to keep the tears at bay but my chest feels like it’s caving in. The air is being sucked from my lungs. I can’t breathe.
Turning on my heel, I shove my way through the crowd. I need space. He was right. He doesn’t want me the way I want him. Rejection feels far worse than I expected it to. I can’t believe I let my heart open and hope. I was so naive to believe that I could finally have something I wanted in my life I thought what I was feeling for Quinn was special. I thought that he was everything and now I all I feel is humiliation just like I did on the compound. I feel used and worthless, just the way the used to make me feel. Tears slowly leak down my cheeks as I push through the mob of people. Some grab at me, others shove me aside.
“Ariel!”
I can hear him calling to me but I can’t stop. I don’t want to. I need air. I need to think. What have I done? I’ve given him so much of myself and I feel like it was all wasted.
“Ariel, Stop!”
More hot tears spill down my cheeks when I’m grabbed from behind. I don’t have any fight in me right now. I know it’s Quinn, I’d know that touch anywhere and maybe that’s why I’m not fighting him. He stomps toward the back of the building with me still in his arms, dragging me along with him.
“Get the fuck outta my way!” he growls at the people in front of him. They move to the side and Quinn storms into the bathroom, kicking the door closed before setting me on my feet.
“What the hell was that? I told you not to walk away from me!”
His words spark something in me. Anger. Indignation. Strength. Why am I still letting people control me? Why can I not stand with my head held high and be who I am? I can. I can do that. I’m no longer on the compound. They can’t control who or what I am now. I turn to face him, wiping the water from my cheeks and stand tall.
“I will not be used anymore. I have been used my whole life. I thought you were different, Quinn. I thought this lying heart of mine was telling me the truth when I thought I cared for you.” He watches me with his hands on his hips. An almost amused look on his face. How dare he?
“You done yet?”
“No! I’m done being used. I am a woman who deserves to be treated with respect,” I snap before trying to walk past him toward the door. His hand shoots out and lands on my stomach, butterflies deciding to dance their way in. Traitorous body. I don’t want to like his touch, but it still ignites a fire in me. Quinn pushes me back so that I can look up at him. His eyes are blazing, darker than I’ve ever seen them.
“You think I used you?” I don’t answer. “Answer me!” I jolt from the tone of his voice.
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“You were happy with that girl touching you and you touching her. I never want you to touch me again that way,” I say, standing my ground. Quinn chuckles before stepping closer to me.
“You don’t want me to touch you?” he asks, his voice dark and husky. My body responds to it but my head doesn’t agree.
“No, Quinn. I’m no longer on the compound. I no longer have to be used by anyone.” His smirk stays in place as he walks be backward until I hit the wall. He hovers over me, those eyes burning so deep into my soul that I know I’ll never be the same.
“I’ve never used you. That bitch out there was nothin’. She’ll never be anything, but you, Ariel... Fuck.”
“Me what? What am I, Quinn, because I feel like nothing.” More tears slowly leak from my eyes as he tilts his head to look at me.
“I make you feel like you’re nothin’?” Something in his eyes changes. He’s no longer the hardened man he was trying to be. No, he’s softer. He’s the man who held me when I cried, the one who stroked my hair and kissed me until I couldn’t breathe.
“When you touched her-”
“She’s nothin’ to me, Ariel!”
“But you still touched her, Quinn!”
He takes a step back and runs his hand through his hair but never takes his eyes off me. “I don’t know what the fuck to say here. I told you I’d fuckin’ try this shit f
or you. For you! And now you tell me I make you feel like nothin’? What the fuck?” He tugs at his hair as I watch him.
“That girl-” I begin but he stops me. His hands wrap around my shoulders, his eyes meeting mine.
“That girl is just a girl! Do you think I’d bring you here if I wanted her? Do you think I’d say I’ll try if I didn’t want to? Fuck, Ariel! I’m doin’ the best I can right now. You don’t want me? Fine. Fuck you,” he growls, giving me a shove. My body bounces against the wall but when he turns to walk toward the door, I lose it. All the pent up frustrations, all the memories. All the times I was used and abused seem to be welling up inside of me.
“I hate you!” I scream before I go flying toward him. I kick, hit, and slap at his back all the while I’m screaming. Quinn turns around to face me and I punch at his chest. He lets me. He doesn’t try to stop me. He just stands there taking it as I scream and hit him. The look on his face is pure torture. This is hurting him, I can see it.
“I hate you! I hate them! I hate what they did to me! I hate that I can’t get away from the memories. The scars! They are all over me!” The more I hit him and scream, the weaker I feel. The floodgates have opened on all that I’ve attempted to shove down and hide all these years. I’ve kept this away from Ava so that she would never know the pain they caused me. I didn’t want her to worry and be sorry, but with Quinn? I can’t hide it from him, I don’t want to. I want to show him everything. He pulls each layer of the mask I put in place away and leaves me bare to him. Sobs shake my body as Quinn wraps his arms around me, pinning my arms between us.
“Shh, it’s okay, Ariel. Everything’s okay, baby.” He rocks me in his arms as we slide to the floor. He holds me in his lap, running his hand down my back.
“I don’t hate you, Quinn.” I cry harder, my body shaking with each tear.
“I know you don’t.”
“I love you, Quinn. I love you.” My sobs come even harder knowing that I could be ruining everything we have here, but it’s true and after what I just did, he needs to know that.
