by Erin Trejo
“I know, Ariel. I love you too,” he whispers into the top of my hair as he holds me tighter. The more he rocks me, the more I sob. I feel like I’m drowning in emotions that I have no control over just like at the compound. Except I’m not there anymore. I’m here. I’m safe. I’m with Quinn.
Chapter 19
Q
I hold her tighter not giving a shit that people are banging on the door to get in. I don’t give a shit that I’m missing Roman’s fight. In this moment, I realize just how much Ariel needs me. I didn’t want to admit it or believe it before, but I can see it as plain as day now. She thought that I’d use her and move on to the next girl. She wasn’t so far off, but that was in the beginning. I can’t imagine not having her next to me. I wouldn’t want anyone else next to me.
“I’m so stupid, Quinn,” she cries into my shirt.
“No you’re not. You’re emotional. You’ve had a hard life, Ariel. Everything that happened to you just got caught up inside. Let it out, baby. You can’t keep holdin’ that shit in like that, it’s not healthy.”
“Do you think I’m crazy?” Shifting her so that I can look at her, I force her gaze to mine.
“I think you were mistreated. I think you were brainwashed into thinkin’ you were somethin’ you weren’t. They were sick, darlin’. Not you.”
She blinks her eyes, stray tears falling down her cheeks. “I feel dirty, Quinn.”
My fucking heart feels like it’s breaking in half. I want to take away every memory she has of those assholes and replace it with happy ones but I can’t do that. God I wish I could.
“You aren’t dirty, Ariel. You know what you are?” She looks up at me, blinking those big emerald green eyes.
“What am I?”
“You’re mine,” I tell her, sounding so sure of myself when in the back of my mind I don’t know if I can be what she needs me to be, even if I want to be.
She tilts her head to seemingly to say something, but instead, she kisses me. Not a peck either, she’s kissing me like I’m the air she needs to breathe. Her tongue forces its way into my mouth and I moan. Ariel moves to straddle my legs, lowering herself down as she continues to assault my mouth. She’s tastes like fucking heaven and I want more of it. Ariel breaks the kiss before standing and looking down at me.
“What are you doin’?” I ask when her fingers move to the button on her jeans. She slowly slides them down, kicking her boots to the side along with her jeans.
“Take those off,” she says nodding toward my jeans.
I smirk and do what she wants. I shove my jeans down my legs before sitting back on the floor and looking up at her. She walks over, placing one leg on each side of me before lowering down. Grabbing my cock, I help her out. When she slides down my length, I hiss.
“What are you doin’, baby?” I ask her when she places her arms around my neck.
“Make me clean, Quinn.”
Shaking my head, there is no fucking way something as evil and worthless as me could cleanse her.
“Wish I could.”
“Then make me dirty. Make me your dirty.”
Her walls clench around me and I close my eyes. That I can do. I suck in a sharp breath, her lips come to my neck, sucking the flesh into her mouth. I groan as my cock twitches inside of her.
“Please, Quinn.”
Her breathy moans do it. I can’t tell her no. I wouldn’t want to. Grabbing her hips, I shove her down until I’m all the way inside of her. Ariel’s head tips back and her mouth parts as she begins to move up and down my length. She feels like perfection and all I’m doing is ruining her more. She asked for this. I didn’t force it. She wants my dirty.
With my hands on her hips, I help her move. Faster, harder. Her body tenses and all my senses explode. Her mouth lands on mine, kissing me like she may never get the chance again. I kiss her back with equal enthusiasm as she rides my cock the way she wants to.
“Quinn!” She screams my name as she impales herself on me. I curse trying to keep from coming already. She feels too damn good like this. With each fall down my cock, I clench my eyes closed. Her hands come to my cheeks, her body slowing. I open my eyes and find hers peering back at me.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, rotating her hips.
“Fuck, Ariel. You feel so goddamn good,” I groan. Reaching between us, I find her clit. Ariel rolls her hips and I find a good rhythm.
“Oh, Quinn!” she whines as I rub harder and faster. Her pussy clamps around me, holding me tightly as she comes. She explodes, her body writhing as I swell inside of her.
“Just like that!” Squeezing and pulling, I explode inside of her. We’re both panting and sweaty; I rest my head on her shoulder.
“Never be sorry, Ariel.” Her head leans into mine as her breathing begins to calm.
“You make me better, Quinn.”
“I was thinkin’ the same thing about you.”
“I made you miss Roman’s fight, didn’t I?” Defeat laces her voice, making her sound sad.
“There’ll be more,” I tell her. Neither of us makes a move to get up, happy to just sit here in the other’s arms. It’s a strange feeling but one I’m finding that I enjoy. I don’t know if I should or not but I am.
“I never want you to think that I don’t want you, Ariel. I do. There are just somethings in this world that I’m used to. I’ve never had a girl like you. Never really wanted one but now, I don’t think I can let you go even if it’s the right thing to do.” Ariel pulls back and looks at me with light shining in those eyes of hers.
“I don’t want you to let me go, Quinn. I want you to keep me.”
How the hell do I argue with that? Simple. I don’t. Instead, I kiss her lips and savor this moment in time with her.
“We should probably get out of this bathroom.” Ariel giggles and stands, slowly allowing my cock to slide free.
“Fuck, that thing is dangerous,” I tell her, nodding toward her pussy. Her cheeks redden but I smirk. Ariel sets about cleaning herself up and getting her clothes back on as I do the same.
“Are you nervous about your parents?” I find myself curious to know what she’s thinking.
“I am. It’s been so long since I’ve seen them. I don’t really know who they are, if that makes sense. I don’t remember them.”
“Yeah, it does. You were different back before you were taken. I think it’s good though. You can get to know them again. See what life will be like with real parents,” I tell her.
“I think that’s what scares me the most.”
“You shouldn’t be scared, Ariel. Not everyone is like those fuckers back at the compound.”
“I know, but I just feel like I will look at them the same way. I think it’s going to be harder than I think it will to feel normal.”
I move toward her quickly, cupping my hand around the back of her neck. “You’re not normal, babe, but trust when I say that is a good thing.”
Chapter 20
Ariel
My nerves are firing off one by one. I’ve never been this nervous in my life. My hands shake at my sides, but Quinn just keeps running his hand up and down my arm trying to soothe me. My heart races as we stand here. We took the DNA test, and it came back we are indeed the girls taken all those years ago; they are really my biological parents.
“Calm down. Everything’s gonna be fine,” Quinn whispers in my ear. I lean into him needing to feel his stability. I look up into his eyes and everything else slowly fades.
“I don’t want to leave you, Quinn.” He smirks and kisses me before pulling back.
“It’s not forever, Ariel. You’re gonna go on a little vacation to get to know your parents. It’s good for you. Besides, you got the phone I bought you. You can call me and shit whenever you want,” he reminds me.
I smile and nod as I wring my hands in front of me. Ava is wrapped tightly in Stoney’s arms but she has a smile on her face. “Do you think he really cares for her?” I ask looking toward the two. Quinn follows my gaze
and sighs.
“Look at him. I’d say it’s a yes,” he teases. Stoney has his face nuzzled in Ava’s hair. Her smile is brighter than I’ve ever seen it before.
“She’s smiling. She’s happy,” I add.
“Are you happy?”
I turn to look back up at him and get lost in those eyes of his. The honey colored eyes that have called out to me since the first time I looked into them. “Sometimes it’s hard to know what happy is, but if it’s the feeling I get inside of me when I’m with you, then yes. I’m very happy.”
Quinn leans down and kisses me gently when someone clears their throat behind us. Quinn looks up before I turn and see them. David, the police Chief that Quinn was telling me about, stands there with a man and woman that looks so much like me and Ava it’s scary. Quinn holds my hand tightly in his as they approach us.
“Ariel, Ava. This is Marcus and Annabell Reynolds. Your parents.” We all stare at each other but they have tears in their eyes. Quinn tries to release my hand but I squeeze harder.
“It’s been so long since we’ve seen the two of you. You are beautiful,” Annabell says. Ava moves first, slamming into the woman’s arms, but I’m still nervous. I watch as they all hug and embrace each other.
“It’s okay, Ariel,” Quinn whispers once more.
I look up at him and nod before releasing his hand. I walk toward them, and to my surprise, they open their arms and pull me in. We stand like this for a long time. Them whispering how sorry they are for what happened. Telling us what had happened that day. Saying how much they missed us and love us. My heart swells a little more.
“Well, we should get on the road,” Marcus says as we all pull apart. Ava holds tightly to our mother’s hand but smiles over her shoulder at Stoney. He gives her a nod and watches as they lead us toward the door.
My eyes find Quinn’s and the world seems bigger. Being away from him isn’t what I want but meeting my family may be what I need. Quinn gives me a nod as well but I can’t stand it. I pull away from our mother and run toward him. He holds his arms out and I slam into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and sobbing.
“Everything’s okay, baby. You need to know your parents.”
“Promise me you will be here when I come back. Promise me, Quinn,” I cry into his shirt. He takes a deep breath but he doesn’t say the words. That hurts more than he could possibly know. I know Quinn doesn’t make promises but I need him to. Just this once. Quinn lowers me to my feet, swallowing hard as he holds my face in his hands.
“You know where I am, baby. I’m not goin’ anywhere.” Then he leans in and kisses me with such passion I want to explode. I want to suck in every bit of essence this man has and keep it with me. When he pulls back, he brushes the tears from my cheeks and smiles. That’s the most I’m going to get from him and I accept it.
“I love you, Quinn.” Saying the words feels like I’m saying goodbye forever. Something tightens in my chest when Ava lays a hand on my shoulder. I turn to her and curl into her arms as she leads me out of the building and toward the waiting car. Trembles shake my body as I look back over my shoulder at him. He stands there looking as perfect as ever. His eyes have hardened as if it pains him to let me see that he cares. It’s like the first time I met him. I watch him as everyone climbs in, and when it’s my turn, he gives me another quick nod. Giving him a soft smile, I climb in behind the others.
“You two are so beautiful. So grown up,” our mother fusses over us, but I can’t stop the growing ache in my chest as I watch the one thing that made me feel alive slowly fade from my sight. A tear slips down my cheek when Ava pulls me into her side.
“It’s okay, Ariel. He will be there when you come back.” Her words aren’t reassuring. It feels like a hole is being ripped in my chest and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
Chapter 21
Q
“We doin’ the right thing, Q?” Stoney asks as we watch the car pull away.
My fucking heart is breaking and there is nothing I can do to stop it. “Look at us, brother. We aren’t what they deserve,” I tell him honestly.
“You think they’ll come lookin’?” Shaking head, I run my hand through my hair and blow out a breath.
“No. I’ll think they will find what they were lookin’ for in their real family. We were just there when they needed it, man.” I scratch at my jaw, letting those words sink in. That’s all we were. We were protectors when they needed it the most. We took care of them when they had nothing else. Now they need to live their lives.
“You good?” David steps up placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Yeah. I’m good. Hey, thanks for puttin’ this together,” I tell him, pulling a cigarette out and walking toward the door.
“You care about her, Quinn. I can see it in your eyes.” He follows me outside as I light up.
“Don’t matter. She’s where she belongs now.” Blowing a cloud of smoke into the air, I glance around when he speaks again.
“Just because she’s with her family doesn’t mean that’s where she belongs. Think about that,” David says before walking away. Fuck him. What the hell he would know?
“You think he’s right?” Stoney asks when I look over at him.
“He’s a fuckin’ pig. He don’t know shit.” Tossing my cigarette to the ground, I grind my boot into it, my mood becoming more pissy by the second. I knew what was coming when I brought her here. I knew that this would be the last time I saw her and I talked myself into being okay with that. Now I’m not so sure. Watching her fade from view, I realized I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want to see her look at me with so much fucking hope that she would see me again.
“Wanna hit the liquor store before we head back?”
Glancing over my shoulder at Stoney, I nod. That’s the first smart thing he’s said all day. Grabbing my helmet, I slide it on before climbing on my bike. Revving it up, I pull out onto the road. It doesn’t feel the same without her on the back. I want to feel her up close and holding onto me. I want her fucking warmth seeping into me as we ride, but that’s not going to happen anymore. The more I think about it, the more I become pissed. What was I supposed to do though? Be a selfish son of a bitch and hold her here like they did? I can’t be like them. I don’t want to be. There are so many things that I’ve fucked up in my life, but I refused to let her be one of them. Ariel brought out the best in me and now that’s fucking gone with her. She’s gone.
We pull up at the clubhouse after grabbing all the liquor our bikes could hold. Climbing off, I toss my helmet not giving a shit where it fell and stomping around the back. Asphalt, Richy, and a few of the prospects eye me but no one says a word. Not until Roman spots me.
“You let her go, huh?”
“Fuck off,” I mumble, grabbing the first bottle I can find and taking a long pull. The burn moves down my throat until finally hitting my stomach.
“No. You fucked up, Q.”
I turn to look at him and the anger that races through me doesn’t go unnoticed. My free hand flexes at my side.
“I fucked up? How did I fuck up? I sent her with her parents!” I roar taking another long pull.
“You let her go. You’re weak, motherfucker,” Roman sneers.
Dropping the bottle from my hand, I move with lightning speed. He didn’t even see me coming. My fist collides with his jaw knocking him back a step. He comes back at me, a grin on his fucking face that pisses me off a little more. We throw some good punches, each of us getting a few hits in before we’re pulled apart. I raise my hand and point at the bastard.
“You don’t get to say shit! I did what was right and you fuckin’ know it!”
Roman shakes his head and glares at me. “You did what you thought was best. She didn’t really wanna go, did she?”
Fuck him. Why am I even justifying myself to him?
“She doesn’t know what the hell she wants, Roman. She was used her whole fuckin’ life. She deserves to find out who she is. Don’t y
ou think?” I raise an eyebrow and dare him to say something more. He doesn’t and that’s because he knows that I’m saying the truth.
Stoney doesn’t say shit, just hands me a bag and sits on one of the lawn chairs out back. I drop into the other ready to drown my fucking sins in this liquor. Mini and a few other girls come out to see what’s happening, but I avoid eye contact with all of them. I’m not in the mood to deal with any of them today.
“Got some good news,” Richy says, sitting across from me as I crack open the vodka.
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“DEA’s movin’ another shipment.”
“Not ours,” I finish with a chuckle.
“No but it’s a big load. Same type shit. Armored trucks and an off the grid warehouse. What the fuck are the odds?” He casually laughs as I let that roll around my head.
“So, what? You want it?” I ask looking him in the eye. Richy shrugs and looks to Stoney.
“What do you think?”
“What the fuck we got to lose?” Stoney grumbles, tipping his own bottle to his lips.
“You in?” I look over my shoulder at Roman.
“Fuck yeah. Last shit we got got triple on the streets.” He has a good point.
“When are they movin’?” Looking back at Richy, he chuckles.
“A few weeks. We got time to stake it out and shit.”
Nodding my head, I chug from the vodka bottle until everything starts to spin. I don’t give a shit either; I just want the memory of her to wash right the fuck out of me. All of us share some laughs when my phone rings. I slide it out and answer without looking.
“Yeah?”
“Is it bad that I miss you already?” Her voice soothes me, calming my demons. I close my eyes and let the sound dance inside of me.
“I miss you too, baby. They’re nice though, yeah?”
“Yes. They are very nice. We have so much in common. I thought it would strange to be with them but it’s not so bad.” I can almost hear the tears falling.
“Don’t cry, Ariel. This is good remember?” Hearing her sniffle just drives a stake through my goddamn heart.
