by Devney Perry
He chuckled. “I can’t do Lipton.”
“Too good for Lipton, huh? I had no idea you were such a tea snob. I feel like I don’t even know you.”
“It’s my mom’s fault. When I was growing up, my family took an annual vacation to the desert. My mom stumbled on this little café outside Flagstaff, and it became our place. They had the best sun tea. Over the years, she became good friends with the owner and found out the brand of tea she used. Mom ordered it and never looked back. She has early-onset Alzheimer’s, and we had to put her in a home a couple of years ago. There are days when she doesn’t remember me or my sister or my dad. But she’s never forgotten that tea.”
“And you make sure to order it too.”
“Always.”
I smiled, taking a healthy pull from my drink. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”
“The pleasure is all mine. You are my favorite neighbor.”
“Don’t tell that to Mrs. Jarrit.” I nodded to the house at the end of the cul-de-sac. “I think she has a crush on you.”
“There’s just something about me that seventy-year-old single women can’t resist. I think it’s my glasses.”
I giggled, finishing my tea. I swallowed the last drop as a black van turned onto our street. My shoulders fell, the exhaustion from the last six weeks hitting me full force.
“Today’s the big move day?”
I sighed. “Yeah.”
“How’s everyone doing?”
I stared at the van as it crept toward my driveway, not sure how best to answer that question. “I don’t know. It’s been hard. I know I told you this yesterday, but I really appreciate everything you’ve done to help out. From mowing the lawn, to sending over the girls to play with Kali and Max, to bringing pizza over. And the tea.”
These five-minute breaks on Gavin’s porch had become a highlight of each day, mostly because we didn’t talk about all the bad things. He told me anecdotes from his childhood or about his job. We joked about the other neighbors. But for five minutes, I didn’t need to think about the kids or the changes coming.
I didn’t have to think about Finn.
“I’m always happy to help. Just let me know what the girls and I can do.”
“Thank you.”
He clapped me on the knee as the van pulled into the driveway.
Poppy waved at me from the passenger seat. Cole shut off the van, and the big door on the side slid open. Kali and Max barreled out.
“Hey, Mom.” Max waved. “Hi, Gavin.”
We both waved back and I stood from the steps. “Thanks again.”
“Anytime. See you around.”
Today was my last tea break with Gavin. After today’s move, I wasn’t sure when I’d have time to come here again.
I set off across the grass, jogging to the van to give Poppy a hug. “How did it go?”
“Good.” She nodded. “We’re good.”
Kali and Max joined us, and we all stood away from the van as Cole fiddled with the wheelchair ramp.
Getting Finn in and out of the van was going to take us all some practice.
Six weeks after the accident, he had finally left the hospital.
The first few days after his initial surgery had been a struggle for all of us. I never wanted to set foot in a hospital again. Max had said the same this morning.
Finn had been extremely lucky to get through his surgeries without infection, but the damage to his body was so severe, it had been hard for me to think about that without feeling sick.
He’d had three surgeries since the day of the accident, and with each one, I’d spent the hours praying he’d make it out alive.
His leg had been broken in four places, and after the last surgery, it was more pincushion than appendage. The same was true with his arm. Both his leg and his arm were frozen in thick, white casts. Finn’s pelvis had been broken as well, and because of it, we were looking at another month of this wheelchair.
But the internal injuries had healed. They’d been the life-threatening ones. Now what he needed was time, rest and rehab.
“Hi.” Finn smiled at me as the wheelchair rolled off the van’s ramp.
“Hi.” My heart melted at his smile.
He was hiding the pain. He was frustrated and pissed off that he was confined to a wheelchair. But he was alive. He was smiling. For me. For the kids. For Poppy, who’d had a harder time than the rest of us.
He was smiling because today was the first day in six weeks he wasn’t stuck in a hospital bed.
It was gorgeous, that smile more soothing than a deep breath of fresh air after a summer rain.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked. “I can wheel myself right back into the van.”
“You’re not going anywhere.” I rolled my eyes and went around to the handlebars of his chair. “Welcome home.”
He looked up at me over his shoulder, his eyes warm. “It’s good to be here.”
I winked at him, then nodded to the kids. “Lead the way.”
Kali and Max giggled as they raced for the ramp that Finn’s employees had constructed for him.
When the doctors had given us the details of Finn’s recovery plan, it had been clear he wouldn’t be going to his own home. Well, it had been clear to me and everyone else in the room that day. Everyone except Finn.
He spent an hour explaining to me, Poppy and his parents how he’d be fine at his house. His chair had an automatic option, so he could motor himself around with the control stick. He had one working arm and could eat sandwiches for a few months. He’d pee into a bottle and could manage a one-handed sponge bath.
When he was done explaining his ludicrous plan, I pulled out my phone in front of him and called Gerry at Alcott. I told him I needed a wheelchair ramp to my front door. When I arrived home that night, his entire crew was there along with a trailer full of lumber.
They built it in two days.
“Want me to push?” Cole offered.
“No, I’ve got him.”
Cole pulled Poppy into his side, and the pair followed the kids up the ramp and into the house.
I held back, wanting a few moments with Finn. “How’s the pain?”
His shoulders sagged. “It’s been a lot of moving around today. I’m feeling it.”
“I’ve got your prescription inside. Have you eaten?”
“No. I couldn’t stomach one more hospital meal.”
“Okay. Food. Pills. Nap.” I pushed the chair forward slowly.
“Molly, I . . .” He ran his hand over his face. He’d grown quite the beard in his time at the hospital. I’d offered to shave him a few times—so had a couple of overeager nurses I wouldn’t miss—but he’d declined. He liked the low maintenance of the beard.
“What?” I slowed us to a stop.
“Thank you.” His blue eyes lifted up to mine. “You didn’t have to do this. I could go home. Hire a nurse. Mom said she’d stay with me for a while. This is a huge burden on your life.”
I walked around the chair and knelt so we were eye level. “Finn, you’re not going anywhere. Until you’re healed, this is your home. The kids need to see you. They need to see that you’re getting better.” So do I.
“I need to see them too.” He stretched his good hand over the arm of the wheelchair and cupped my cheek. “And you.”
I gave him a small smile. “We’ll be okay.”
David and Rayna would have done anything to help. The same was true of Poppy and Cole. But none had made the offer to bring Finn into their homes. Why? Because I made the decision to bring him here before they even had the chance.
He was here. At home.
Where we all needed him to be.
I pushed him up the ramp, his chair heavier than I remembered, but not unmanageable. When we reached the porch, I waved to Gavin, who was still standing outside.
He waved back before we disappeared inside.
“Tell Gavin thanks for mowing the lawn,” Finn said.
&n
bsp; “I did.”
“No, tell him from me.”
“All right.”
I still felt awful for standing Gavin up for our date. He’d called the night we were supposed to have dinner, but I’d been at the hospital. Finn had just been taken off his sedatives and we’d all been waiting anxiously for him to wake up.
I hadn’t even realized what time it was. What day it was. Hours had blurred together, and when Gavin called, I went to a quiet corner. He asked me where I was. I crumpled into a heap of tears.
I cried hard, finally letting it go. Gavin stayed on the phone the entire time. When I pulled myself together, I told him about Finn’s accident. He listened and promised to be there if I needed help.
He didn’t ask to reschedule our date. I didn’t offer. We both knew there would be no date.
I’d learned something since the accident.
My love for Finn wasn’t going to stop. I could tell myself and others I wasn’t in love with Finn. It was all lies. I’d buried that love deep, shoving it down whenever it threatened to appear, but it was still there.
It had always been there.
Until I figured out how to deal with it, there was no room for another man in my heart.
“Dad.” Max came careening down the stairs as I pushed Finn into the living room. There was a stack of books under his arm. “Check this out.”
“What?” Finn forced the pain and exhaustion from his face. He had been trying his hardest since the accident to hide it from the kids.
“Grandma Deborah gave me all these books yesterday. You have to find Waldo.”
“That was nice of her.”
Max nodded. “Grandma has some of these in her office but some other kid circled all the Waldos already. These ones are different and waaay harder.”
I smiled, pushing Finn next to an end table so Max could set the books down and they could hunt for Waldo together. “I’m going to make some lunch. Max, help out your dad if he needs something.”
Finn gave me a smile before turning his attention to the first page Max had opened. “We’ll be fine.”
Mom had stepped up these past six weeks. She’d never been one to volunteer to babysit, especially when the kids were still in diapers. But when I’d spent my free hours at the hospital, taking shifts with Poppy and David and Rayna so Finn wasn’t alone, Mom had spent more time with the kids than she had in the past few years combined.
I wish I could say it was for Finn. But I knew Mom. She was doing it for me, and at the moment, I’d take it.
I went into the kitchen and found Poppy, Cole and Kali already making lunch. Bread and cold cuts were laid out on the counter. Kali was slicing up a block of cheese. Cole was setting the table for six.
“I was just going to do this. You guys don’t need to make lunch.”
“I’m happy to.” Poppy smiled from where she was assembling sandwiches. “You don’t have to do everything yourself.”
Except for so long, it had been just me. Even before the divorce, I’d done everything in this house. Laundry. Cooking. Cleaning. Yard work. It felt strange to watch other people work, so I got drinks out for everyone.
“We brought over enough clothes from Finn’s for a while, along with his toiletries. But there might be some other stuff he wants.” Cole set a stack of napkins on the table for us. “Just let me know and I’ll bring it over.”
I nodded, grateful I wouldn’t need to go into Finn’s house and search through his home for personal belongings. “Thanks. I’m going to run out to Alcott and pick up his computer and calendar. He’s going to try and work on the laptop a little bit each day and get into the swing of things.”
“Want me to go over?”
“No, I can do it. But thanks.” I glanced over my shoulder. Poppy and Kali were laughing about something by the sink. They were in their own world, and we were far enough away that I could ask Cole the question that had been on my mind often lately. “Is she okay?”
Cole looked at his wife, his eyes softening. “She’s the strongest woman I’ve ever met.”
“Yes, she is.”
“She’s okay. She just got scared.”
“We all did,” I whispered.
“What she needs right now is to help. She needs to be there for Finn. He pulled her through after Jamie died. You both did.”
“I was there, but Finn was the one who got through to her. He was there at rock-bottom.”
“She wants to be there for him. I know you can do this on your own, Molly.” Cole met my gaze, his light-green eyes pleading. “But don’t. Drop a couple of balls for once in your life and let her pick them up. She needs to balance the scales. She needs to have a chance to be there for Finn like he was for her.”
I nodded, my throat too tight to speak.
I didn’t want to give up control of the juggling act. I didn’t want to hand over something to Poppy. Truthfully, if I handed over one ball, I was afraid all the others would fall. But I’d risk it for her.
“Lunch is ready,” Kali announced, shouting for Finn and Max as she carried over two plates to the table.
“Thanks for cooking,” I told Poppy as she walked to the table.
“It’s just sandwiches. Technically, no cooking involved.”
“It’s still appreciated.”
“I was thinking of making double of everything I do at home,” she said, setting down the plates and taking a seat as Finn and Max came into the room.
Cole lifted the chair at the head of the table and put it in the corner so Finn could wheel his chair up.
Poppy’s happy face faded when she looked at her brother. She saw what I saw. Finn was struggling. He was going to keep struggling because this road to recovery was going to be long and hard. He was a man who loved to work with his hands and be outside, yet he was confined to that chair.
Once he was out of the wheelchair, there’d be intense physical therapy. He wasn’t going to jump out of that chair and say Ta-da, let’s go plant some trees. The doctors said he might have lasting effects from the accident.
“Anyway,” Poppy cleared her throat. “I was thinking of making double everything I do at home. Then you won’t have to cook.”
I opened my mouth to tell her I could manage but stopped before the automatic response came out. “That would be great.”
This next month would be brutal.
Work at the restaurant was as busy as ever. I couldn’t wait for school to start back up again, because as much as I loved summers with the kids, this summer needed to be over. They were bored and irritable. They’d spent more hours in the hospital than I’d ever wanted.
School was going to be my saving grace. Maybe then I’d tell Poppy she could back off the meals. But if cooking made her feel useful, I’d take it.
Finn thought he’d be able to dive right back into work, but I knew it wasn’t going to be quite so easy. He was going to need a chauffeur to get to job sites and inspect work done. He would need someone to pick up the slack in the office because his energy waned so quickly. That would all fall to me.
And Bridget. As much as I hated her, I was grateful for Bridget’s undying loyalty to Finn. While he’d been at the hospital, she’d taken over everything on his projects, running them along with her own. She’d visited him every other day to keep him apprised of business.
Gerry and the other foremen had stepped up too. They’d come to the hospital once a week to relay progress. They’d kept Finn in the loop, and it had saved Finn’s sanity.
Part of his sanity. We hadn’t let him have his laptop while he’d been in the hospital, worried it would cause him too much stress. But Finn was anxious to know how much had been overlooked in the office. Bridget might have the design side of the business covered, but she didn’t pay the bills or work with vendors.
What he didn’t know was that I’d taken over the office work.
On the mornings his parents took the kids or they were at camp, I spent a few hours at Alcott, relearning the things I ha
d once known inside and out. Then I went back after my workday at the restaurant was over.
I paid the bills. I returned messages from vendors. I turned down prospective clients, putting them on next year’s wait list. I thrust myself back into a world I’d once helped create, enjoying the bittersweet familiarity.
“What’s the plan for the rest of the day?” Kali asked. Her eyes looked longingly outside.
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “We’re just going to relax.”
Well, they could relax. I was going to do some cleaning that hadn’t been done in too long. I was going to unpack some of Finn’s things and make sure he was set up in the guest bedroom. And then I was going to mow the lawn.
But Kali and Max were free.
“Can we ride our bikes?” Max asked.
“Sure.”
The kids shared a smile. Poppy and Cole shared a look filled with silent I love yous. And my eyes turned to Finn.
His were waiting, a smile toying with the corners of his mouth.
Finn. My Finn. Alive.
And for the time being, home.
The improvements Finn had made to the front yard made mowing a dream. But the backyard was a nightmare. Not only did I have the normal embellishments to work around, but I now had piles of dirt and a hole where the fountain had been too. I pushed the mower onto the grass, dreading how long it would take for me to get it done.
Probably two hours. Maybe three. While Gavin had kept it from turning into a jungle, he hadn’t done the edging quite clean enough for my liking.
After lunch, Cole and Poppy left to get their kids from Cole’s parents’ house. Max and Kali had spent the time it had taken me to mow the front yard riding their bikes around the neighborhood. But they’d retreated inside about five minutes ago to play in their rooms.
Max went back to Where’s Waldo? while Kali wanted to tackle the jigsaw puzzle Mom had bought for her.
And Finn was taking a nap.
I’d set him up in the guest bedroom so he had plenty of space. Even though it would be completely sex-free for him to sleep in my bed, I tended to sprawl or cuddle and didn’t want to accidently roll into him in my sleep and risk bumping his broken leg or jostling his hips. So he was in the guest bedroom because it was the only other room on the main floor.
