KISS ME GOODNIGHT

by Wyatt, Dani

  “No, he’s not like that, Michaela. You know him, he’s not.” The tears are flowing again, but I need to defend Ace. He’s looked after me for so long, and I’ve loved him for so much of that time.

  “Maybe you’re right. I thought I knew him, I really did. I thought he was just your guardian. I get it, you’ve been crushing on him for so long, and that’s fine, but he was supposed to just see you as like a daughter. And maybe it would be fine that other feelings developed since you’re not really blood-related and all, if only he weren’t already involved with someone else. But the way this looks...I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you, but I just don’t know what to believe anymore and I’m scared of what might happen. Men can be dangerous. He could be a sociopath for all you know.”

  I want to tell her she’s wrong, that this isn’t what Ace is like, but a part of me is starting to wonder. What if she’s right? What if getting me into bed has been what he wanted for a while, and I was just too dumb to see it? What if I’m still too dumb? I might go back there and say the wrong thing and end up a statistic.

  “What do I do? I feel like I can’t trust myself. Am I so stupid?”

  “Well, is there anywhere else you can go? Somewhere he can’t find you, where you can think this through and make sure you’re safe? Like I said, you can stay here, but he’ll know where to look. And if he gets to you, he can manipulate you. You’re not in the right head space right now. An explanation here, a lie there and he could wheedle his way back in.”

  “I don’t have anywhere to go. This is my home. I’m trapped.”

  “A motel then. You just need to disappear for a while, pretend it didn’t happen until you’re thinking straight. Then you can confront him, and don’t forget that house was given to him in trust. Emily’s money was there for him to look after you. A judge might see it as legally yours. Until then, I can lend you the money.”

  Suddenly, I feel my spine straighten just a little. She’s right. I need to just go. Anywhere but here. As for the money, I get an allowance every week from Ace and barely spend any of it. I’ve got about seven thousand dollars in my savings account. Not much, but enough to get me by until I can figure something out. The paperwork is back at the house in the desk. I just need to get a copy of the signed documents and the account information.

  I know how to disappear. No one else that’s still alive knows this, but my Gran left her abusive husband when she was a young mother to my mom. She’d disappeared into the world, changed her name and started over. I know it is harder to do now, with the internet and electronic information everywhere, but I remember listening to her stories about how she managed to become someone completely new, and I can do the same.

  I’ve always lived this small, sheltered life, so maybe this is the universe kicking me in the rear end and pushing me out into the world to find my destiny. Gran always said chaos and trauma are sometimes the jumping off point for people to catapult themselves into great things. Maybe this is my moment, I can take this pain and turn it into something else.

  Even if my heart is telling me otherwise.

  “No.” I shake my head. “Thank you, but I’ve got enough to get me by for a bit. Just let’s go. I just need to go. First the cell phone place on Midfield Ave, then drop me at the house. From there, I’ll call for Uber or whatever. I don’t want you to know where I’ve gone.” Grandmother’s stories are all swimming around in my head; things she said about leaving everything behind, tying up loose ends and not making a trail. “He might come ask you, and I don’t want to put you in the middle.” For the first time, I wish I had pushed myself to learn to drive. Ace offered several times for me to go to driver’s ed, but ever since Gran and Emily were killed by that drunk driver I’ve been terrified to drive.

  Besides, there was something about having Ace take me wherever I wanted to go that felt so right. So safe.

  “Cell phone?” Michaela is up and following me to the door.

  “Yep. I’m going old school, throw away phone from here on out. I’ll keep you in the loop after I get somewhere. But I want to not have any ties. Anything that can be tracked.”

  “Alright sister, I’ve got your back if this is what you want. I’m all for adventure. I always thought there was something with him. The way he never talked, always kept you under his thumb. Total power-trip-control-freak. Just took advantage of you—”

  “Let’s go.” I break her supportive tirade, unable to fathom the truth that might be there. I know when friends feel like you’ve been wronged by a guy, the first instinct is to trash him.

  I’ve taken care of him for all these years. Willingly, I admit; cooking and cleaning. Laundry. Everything. I was so useful, but in my heart, I thought he appreciated it and never felt he expected it from me. I loved folding his clothes and remember all the stolen looks he would give me which made my heart flutter. Then there was the additional money. I never considered it before.

  Emily left an additional monthly payment to Ace for each month I was in his care. I mean, he’s never struck me as motivated by money and the entire inheritance was substantial I am sure. There is a financial gain for him to keep me around as well. I hate that all the pieces in the puzzle are just now coming together.

  I was free labor and another boost to his bottom line. Then, add in whatever happened last night which gave him another perk of having me around. Why he never acted on it before is the mystery. A moment of weakness. A kink he just needed to itch? Who knows, all I know is the arrows pointing me out the door and finally to a life outside of Ace Cooper are flashing, and I’m going to follow them this time.

  I look down at my phone and see the time and figure I’ve got four hours before Ace is back at the house. His usual Friday meeting has him arriving back home like clockwork around four-thirty, so I hope to be long on the road before he even knows I’m gone. I grab my bag and am out the door with Michaela behind me, feeling the shards of my heart stabbing into my chest.

  On the drive to the house, we are quiet. Michaela asks me a few times if I’m sure this is what I want to do and I force confidence into my affirmative answers, all the while feeling like half of me has already died and I honestly don’t care where I end up right now.

  I just want to be away. I don’t want to face him. The humiliation of being taken advantage of by Ace is more than my heart can take.

  “Okay. I love you.” Michaela gives me a hug outside the car. “You have your new phone, and I don’t have your number. So, if you need me, you’re going to have to call me first because I won’t know. And you have to call if you need anything because I fucking love you. I’m going to head over to Alpine and grab a coffee. I’ll hang there for a bit, just in case you change your mind or want me to come back...”

  “Thanks. I’ll be okay,” I lie as I give her one last squeeze and head into the house to gather those bits of my life I’ll need to start over.

  Chapter Eight

  Ace

  WHEN I LEFT VALERIE at her home office, I was walking on fucking clouds.

  I don’t remember ever feeling that good in my entire life. I certainly never would have used ‘walking on clouds’ as an expression of how I felt, but at that moment it was the truth. It might sound stupid to a lot of people, but getting my head back straight was necessary before I could feel I was what Brinna needed.

  What she deserved.

  Valerie set up testing for me at my request. Balance sheets, algebra, geometry, basic business math, things like that. Ever since I took that hit from the IED, I’d been set back to fucking second-grade math level, and it fucked with my confidence. I’ve spent the last few years retraining myself and the last few months setting up a real estate investment corporation and studying for my broker’s license, and maybe I didn’t know exactly why I was doing it then, but I do now. It will allow me to take care of my girl the way a real man should.

  I want to be the man that will block the door when the scary dreams come calling. The one that will take on her demons and
slay them one at a time until all that is left is her smile...and her orgasms.

  Always the orgasms.

  So when I walked to my car, my future with Brinna dancing all through my head, I was ready to take on the fucking world. I made one last stop to pick up a little package I had waiting for me, planning to head straight back to the house once I had it. For the first time in four years of secret meetings, I was running early, eager to get all the rest of the arrangements in place before Brinna got home at six.

  But those clouds I was walking on?

  Yeah, well. They’ve turned to gravel under my feet. I’m at a dead run to my truck, ignoring the pulses of sheer pain shooting through my knees. My own pain doesn’t matter, not when I know there’s something wrong with my girl.

  I took out my phone at the store and tracked her location. I do that when she’s away from me, I just can’t help myself. I can go maybe a half hour, then I give in. From the moment I saw her, I knew, if circumstances had been different, I would have been her fucking stalker. Thank Christ she became my ward instead. Saved me a lot of trouble. And probably an arrest record.

  When the location of her phone came up and showed me she was back at the house so early, my heart sank. I texted and then called. It went right to voice mail. Something was wrong. I could feel it in my bones. So, I wrapped up my transaction at the jewelry store and hit the parking lot at a run.

  I didn’t care if it was just a spat between friends. Anything that affects her life is my responsibility. More now than ever. I also told her if she went anywhere besides the park or Michaela’s apartment if her plans changed at all she was to let me know.

  Best case, I have her ass over my knee teaching her a lesson. Worst case—

  I don’t want to think about worst case.

  The scenery flies by as I weave through traffic heading back to the house. Her phone is pinging from the estate, but the texts are now showing as not delivered, and my calls aren’t even going to voicemail, they aren’t even ringing through. Panic rises in my throat like a balled fist. Seems whenever there is a high in my life, it is followed by a fucking low and something is definitely wrong.

  If she’s hurt, I’ll tear down the world to avenge whoever made the mistake of harming her. She’s my everything, and without her, well...after last night, I don’t see life continuing.

  I barely even notice the time pass. It seems like one second I’m tearing through traffic and the next I’m urging my legs faster as I tunnel down the hall, heading straight for her room, yelling her name. My fears expand as I see her bedroom door closed. She hasn’t closed her door in years. Even if she’s changing her clothes or whatever, it’s always open a crack as she knows I always knock before coming in.

  What could have gone wrong in just a few hours?

  “Brinna!” Her name lodges in my throat as I grasp the cool brass handle and turn.

  A fist hits my gut as the knob refuses my effort. To my knowledge, there was never a time she locked this door.

  “Brinna!” I thunder through the solid wood. “If you’re in there open—”

  There’s a noise from behind the barrier, and I pause, waiting for her to come and open the door. To tell me everything is fine and she didn’t mean to lock the door. Just a mistake...

  Only, as my heartbeat pulses painfully in my head, no further noise comes.

  There is no more wait in me.

  I cock back my leg and deliver a single heel strike, just below the knob, splintering the wood and flinging the door back on its hinge so hard it dislodges from the top plate.

  Inside, drawers are open in her bureau. Closet and floor are strewn with clothes, and if my fear wasn’t already running in the red, when I see the scraps of torn up lottery tickets tossed over the floor, flames lick at my heart. An open suitcase lays splayed on the bed, with only a few items stuffed inside. Bile rises at the back of my throat when I put the pieces together: she left when she heard me.

  Why? Why would my baby run from me? I’m her champion. The warrior that will give her the world as she wants it to be. How am I the enemy? Did what happened last night change for her today? Did I take her too far too fast?

  My mind screams with the thoughts of the mistakes I could have made. The harsh need I showed her could have been more than she could handle.

  Self-hatred rises up and slams a balled fist into my conscience. I broke the promise I made myself to never touch her. Now look. My own selfish need has driven her away from me and into the arms of a world that could hurt her.

  With a full scan of the rest of the room, my eyes settle on the crack in the bathroom door, through which I can see the curtains falling through the open window.

  I must have screamed her name twenty times as I ran back down the hallway. The window was too small for me to fit or I would have thrown myself through it and saved the precious few minutes it took me to blaze my trail out the back door.

  The grass gives away the trail of her footfalls, and one of my strides covers at least five of hers.

  What the fuck is happening here? An hour ago, my world was finally settling. I had taken my girl, sure in myself that I was the man—no, the Daddy—she deserved and needed. Now?

  She’s on the run, and I have no idea what’s wrong.

  The flames that surround my heart swell and take over my lungs as I run, faster, faster, until I can no longer feel my legs. The sound of my grunts and my ragged breathing meet with the slamming of each pain-infused step.

  The impressions of her tracks lead into the contained forest at the edge of the property. We rarely come back here. It’s wild, the woods grown over with brush and vines.

  “Brinna! If you can hear me, stop!” I bellow as I force my way into the thick growth, wondering how she could do the same. She was wearing a short skirt when I left her, and as I move deeper, the thorns and vines tear at my heavy khaki pants.

  As I near the edge of the woods, I can hear the cars moving down Alpine Avenue. When I finally burst through the last few trees, my heart sinks. There is no sign of her. She could be long gone by now.

  Cabs run up and down the street, and I wonder if she’s gone forever.

  Chapter Nine

  Ace

  A FEW CARS MOVE UP and down the street where there are boutiques and a few restaurants and coffee shops as I labor to catch my breath, wincing at the pain in my thighs as I try to decide which way to go.

  The pain can go to hell, I have to find Brinna.

  I turn to my left, my eyes lighting on everyone I see, but it is to no avail.

  She’s gone. You drove her away, you selfish prick. It was too much. Too fast.

  Standing here is doing me no good, so instinct tells me to head to my right where there are more people and activity with shops and restaurants. I drive my legs to carry me at a run, again not sure if I’m getting closer to her or farther away.

  Cars honk as I dart into the street toward the coffee houses and restaurants that are clustered together, praying I catch a glimpse of her sitting inside, unsettled but unhurt, and we can work through whatever the fuck is happening.

  I told her to tell me everything. To come to me with all her thoughts. Fears. Desires. I wanted it all. Why didn’t she call?

  An unfamiliar feeling comes over me. My chest tightens, and there’s a fist the size of a watermelon lodged just below my diaphragm as my eyes begin to burn.

  I push forward as the first guttural sob forces its way from my throat. Something burns on my cheek, and as I swipe the back of my hand there it comes back wet. It sounds dumb, but I don’t ever remember crying. Not since I was a little kid. Not even at either of my parents’ funerals.

  The fight to hold back the grief that threatens to overwhelm me is sending my fingernails into my palms as I ball my fists tighter and slow to a jog, looking into the window of the coffee shop as I pass. In a split second, I decide I should keep going. She could be in there, maybe in the restroom, but instead of going inside my gut tells me to move forward.


  As I come around the corner of the building the breath is taken from my lungs.

  “Brinna!” I snarl.

  Her head snaps around, hair spinning into the air. Her eyes are red, raw with tears. She’s as beautiful as ever, but her face shows fear not relief at the sight of me.

  She’s standing next to a car, talking to whoever is inside and it only takes another breath to see it’s Michaela.

  I’m on her in seconds.

  “Go away!” she shouts, and I see Michaela emerge from the driver’s side of the small sedan.

  “I’m not fucking going anywhere.” Unrestrained anger takes over when I see the cuts and trails of blood streaming down her legs from running through the woods. “You’re going to tell me what the fuck is going on. Why are you running from me?”

  I’ve got her by the elbow as she twists away, the backpack on her back smacking into my upper arm. The thought of her running from me has me seeing red.

  “Let her go!” Michaela yells as I struggle, trying to get Brinna to look at me. “I’ll call the fucking cops!”

  “Step down.” I lock my arm straight out. “I don’t know what is going on here, but I do not need your help.”

  “She’s my friend. She’s the one that told me about things you didn’t!” Brinna’s eyes spill over, and I’ve never understood before now the pain of watching someone you love cry. I never want to see it again.

  “Okay, everyone just calm the fuck down.” I keep my grip on Brinna’s arm as her free fist pummels into my chest. Drawing in a deep breath, I turn a glare on Michaela, who looks like a panther ready to pounce. “A few hours ago, everything was right as rain, now the god damn sky is falling.”