Glitter Fixes Everything

by Alex Jane

  His mom stepped back, dragging him through the utility into the kitchen by his sleeve. "Yes, yes. Come on in. Do you want something to eat or did you eat on the plane?" Not waiting for an answer, she screamed out for her husband to come, which he did, barreling into the room as if he were expecting a home invasion. Justin could imagine Kyle doing the same with his gun drawn, and his sudden and dramatic appearance made Justin laugh aloud.

  Kyle wasn't Justin's biological father but it made no difference to either of them. Justin had called Kyle dad for a long time, and Kyle had never treated Justin as anything other than his own. No one had ever questioned the family relations, probably as Kyle's two brothers had accepted Justin as the nephew they'd never had from the first time they'd met.

  When Kyle saw Justin was standing in the kitchen, he muttered something under his breath and stormed forward, taking Justin into a fierce hug that knocked the breath out of him.

  "Why didn't you tell us you were coming?" he growled into Justin's shoulder.

  "Surprise!" Justin mumbled, squeezing the tears from his eyes, feeling surprisingly emotional in the moment.

  "It certainly is," Kyle said, stepping back but not before giving Justin a manly slap on the shoulder. "You eat yet?"

  "Have I lost weight or something?" Justin asked with a wry smile.

  Kyle laughed and cuffed him on the shoulder again before saying, "Not likely. It looks as if you've been eating your Wheaties to me."

  "I guess we'll have to wait for Chase to come over to get a professional opinion." Justin chuckled. Admittedly, it wasn't the best of jokes, but Justin was surprised to be met by a series of worried looks and raised eyebrows between his parents. Which was a little disconcerting.

  "Am I missing something?" When there was no reply, Justin frowned. "Is everything okay?"

  The answer came when there were voices outside and, moments later, the door opened. Chase walked in and Justin gave him a wide grin, just as he would have for Joel, Chase's husband, who followed in behind. But his smile fell away when he saw who was with them. Of all the people he didn't want to see, Roman James was undoubtedly at the top of his list, and by the look of the way Roman's happy expression waned, it would seem Justin was on his list too. Evidently running away to New York wasn't far enough to escape the man who had broken Justin's heart.

  Maybe coming home for the holidays hadn't been such a good idea after all.

  2

  The old mattress squeaked as Justin dropped down heavily onto it, putting his head in his hands even as he bounced from the impact. Being confronted by his ex-boyfriend wasn't the worst shock he'd ever had but it was close. Especially as he'd stood there like a fool, gawping as if he couldn't understand what he was seeing, and then muttering excuses as he'd practically fallen over his suitcase in his hurry to get away. Hearing the whispered conversation from the kitchen, which wasn't as quiet as it could have been, had had him grimacing as he'd stomped up the stairs—not taking time to relish the sights and sounds of his childhood home as he'd imagined he'd be doing. The very worst part was hearing Roman's distinctive voice saying he would just go. Justin wished he would, but also the sadness in Roman's voice had part of Justin hoping too that he would stay.

  He hadn't seen Roman for years, at least in person. Just because they weren't friends on social media anymore didn't mean that Justin didn't lie in bed occasionally as the clock ticked closer to midnight, scrolling through Roman's Instagram, or his team's Facebook page, hoping to catch a glimpse of his ex-boyfriend. It hurt more than it helped, but he persuaded himself any pain was a good hurt, that it reminded him of all the reasons he shouldn't pick up the phone or just get on a plane and fly to New England and confront Roman in person at his training ground.

  He was thinking about how great Roman looked—how he'd changed his hair, trying not to think about how good it used to be to touch him, and how he'd loved the taste of his mouth—when there was a tentative knock at his door. The noise had him fisting his hands in his hair and groaning. If this was a nightmare, which it could well be, he was hoping he would wake up before the door opened for him to find his entire family standing around with concerned sympathetic looks on their faces. He hadn't been able to bear that when he and Roman had first broken up, and he sure didn't want to see it now.

  "Justin."

  The voice was muffled through the door and he was glad it wasn't his mom or Kyle who were trying to comfort him right now. At least his uncle had some idea of what he was going through.

  Before he could reply, the door creaked open a fraction, and Chase stuck his head through the crack. "You gonna start throwing stuff if I come in?"

  Justin should have laughed at that but couldn't bring himself to do anything other than give a shake of his head. As Chase came in and gently closed the door behind him, Justin sat up, leaning his forearms on his knees, and waited for an explanation.

  "I'm sorry," Chase said as he pressed his back against the closed door. "I had no idea you were going to be home for the holidays."

  "I wanted to surprise everybody," Justin said, sounding more like a little kid than he had in a long time.

  "Well, you certainly did that," Chase said with a smile, which was sympathetic enough without being patronizing. "Are you okay?"

  "I'm not sure yet. " Justin sighed heavily. "Though I would love to know why you brought my ex-boyfriend here. Or what he's doing back in town anyway."

  "Well," Chase said, stepping into the middle of the room, folding his arms across his chest, looking every inch the baseball coach. Justin wondered if he would start spontaneously chewing tobacco any second to go with the serious look on his face. "You've got to remember Roman isn't only your ex-boyfriend. He's someone who Joel and I feel responsible for, who had nowhere to go over the holidays. So I invited him to come stay with us. Just as I would for any of the other kids on the team. But I would never have done it if I knew you were going to be here. You've got to know you always come first, that I would never try to make things awkward for you."

  "Jesus, Chase. Way to make me feel like an asshole." Justin groaned and let his body fall back on the bed. He regarded the ceiling as his uncle huffed out a laugh, but then something about what he'd said made Justin lift his head and ask, "What do you mean he didn't have anywhere to go?"

  Chase's hands went to his hips and he clenched his jaw. "This isn't common knowledge," he said low, clearly indicating that if asked, Justin should keep his mouth shut about what he was about to be told. "You know how unreasonable his parents have always been." Justin sat up slow, nodding slightly. It had taken a long time for Roman to come out and even longer for the anger of his parents to settle into active disapproval. "Things haven't been great lately between them. The last straw was that they wanted him to try conversion therapy." Justin's heart leaped in his chest, and his stomach dropped away and left him nauseated at the thought that his sweet Roman might be subjected to such a thing.

  Chase rubbed the back of his neck hard, clearly feeling the same way about it. "The upshot was that Roman confronted them finally. They cut him out, Justin."

  Justin didn't know what to do with himself. As much as Roman had given him reasons to be angry at him, nobody deserved to lose their family simply for being themselves.

  "So, he's staying with you?"

  Chase nodded. "Until training starts up. You can see why I couldn't leave him to fend for himself in Erie."

  "When did this happen?" Justin wasn't quite sure why he wanted the details. Roman wasn't a part of his life anymore, no matter how much his heart was aching for him.

  "A few months ago," Chase said, coming forward to sit on the bed next to Justin. "I didn't want him to spend his first Christmas alone."

  Justin scoffed, even though he didn't really mean to. "I'm sure he has plenty of new friends who could have taken him in. He always was very popular."

  "He needs family, Justin," Chase said quietly, and Justin covered his face in shame. Chase was right. And he was an asshole
.

  "Goddamnit," he muttered, sighed, and looked at his uncle. "You're right," he said, resigned to having a less-than-perfect holiday. If he had to spend most of it in his room avoiding Roman, then so be it.

  "I know," said Chase, smiling. "It's nice to hear you admit it for a change, though." He bumped Justin with his shoulder, making him rock a little. Justin couldn't help but smirk, and bumped him back, then they ended up pulling each other into the tight hug Justin had wanted all along. "I missed you, kiddo," Chase mumbled into his shoulder. "I wish you would call home more often."

  "Yeah, yeah. It's not like you can't use the phone either."

  Chase mumbled something Justin didn't quite catch, and then pulled back to look him in the eye. "So. What do you want me to do? About Roman?"

  Justin huffed out a laugh and shook his head. "Well, I'm not expecting you to throw him out on the street."

  "I'm glad to hear it."

  "I guess I will just have to put on my big-boy panties and suck it up."

  Chase laughed. "Why is it I somehow believe you have a pair of those packed away in your suitcase?"

  Justin grinned at him wickedly. "I might even have a spare pair if you need some."

  "No, no, I'm good. Plus, I'm not sure Joel would really appreciate them."

  Justin had to refrain from making a crack about how his uncle's burning-hot husband could take off his panties anytime. The muscular, tattooed paramedic might have featured in a few of his fantasies a long time ago, but Joel was all Chase's now, and even to joke would be…weird.

  "So," Justin asked tentatively. "Is Roman still downstairs or…?"

  Chase nodded. "You want me to ask Joel to take him home? Just for tonight?"

  It was a nice gesture, but Justin couldn't imagine he would get used to the idea of being around Roman again, even with all the time in the world, so he might as well rip off the Band-Aid. Chase frowned when Justin shook his head. "You gonna be okay?"

  "Yeah, sure," Justin lied. "I think I might unpack and get my breath before I come downstairs again." Chase nodded as he slowly got to his feet, seemingly understanding that Justin needed a minute to get his shit together before having to put on a brave face in public.

  "I'll tell your mom you're crying into your pillow and playing sad songs so you will need the good ice cream when you come down, shall I?"

  Justin grinned. "She's been making you eat the cheap stuff, huh?"

  "It makes no sense," Chase whined. "She keeps buying all this food and then tells us we can't eat it until Christmas."

  Justin shook his head and got up to push Chase out of his door. "You do this every year."

  "Yeah, well, I'm hungry every year." Chase smiled sadly at him as he opened the door and stepped outside. "You'll be down in a minute?"

  Nodding, Justin said, "Sure. Let me just…" He gestured to his suitcase and Chase nodded in understanding.

  "If you take more than thirty minutes, I'm going to eat the ice cream myself, okay?"

  When his uncle walked away and Justin finally got to close the door, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against the cold of the wood paneling for a second before whirling around and stomping back over to his bed so he could fall face down on it. Screaming into his pillow was childish but it made him feel better and able to get up and actually do what he'd told his uncle he was going to do.

  As he unzipped his large suitcase and pulled out his clothes and toiletries and the small bag of gifts he had brought with him, he looked around the room and the way it hadn't changed since the day he'd left. And he wondered how in the hell he was going to get through the next couple of weeks.

  It was true that having Roman around complicated things, but he couldn't deny that seeing him hadn't made his heart pitter-patter. But that in itself was a problem. He had faced up to the fact he had never fallen out of love with his high-school boyfriend long ago, so it should have come as no surprise.

  Except the passage of time had taken the shine off those feelings, eroding the reality. Instead of having rose-tinted memories, it seemed he'd forgotten just how deep brown Roman's eyes were, framed by his long dark lashes, or how his chestnut skin left Justin's fingers aching for contact. But more than that, Justin had forgotten how the warmth of his smile made everything right in the world and made him happy. Dammit.

  He avoided going downstairs for as long as possible, but when he found himself folding his underwear before putting it away in the drawers, even he'd had enough of his bullshit. Throwing the offending item in among the boxer briefs and socks, he slammed the drawer shut and, after a cursory glance in the mirror to check his hair, he took a deep cleansing breath and ventured downstairs.

  Taking one step at a time, he listened for any indication of who might be where in the house. It sounded as if everyone had gathered in the lounge, as they usually did in the evenings. Most of the time you could find one or more of the Meadows brothers huddled around the table, even though Chase and Tyler didn't even live there anymore. But when night fell, if they weren't in the bar working, they were more often than not sprawled out watching a game on the TV, or simply standing around in their coats having felt the need to drop in as they passed by to shoot the shit for five minutes.

  Justin paused when he heard the clink of a glass in the kitchen and, not feeling quite ready to face the inquisition he knew was waiting about school and work and his nonexistent boyfriends, he decided to take a risk and face up to whoever had separated themself from the herd.

  Rounding the door, he quickly regretted his decision when he saw Roman at the sink filling a glass from the water jug. Justin took a step back, thinking perhaps he could sneak away and delay whatever it was they needed to say to each other a little longer.

  "You came home early, then?" Roman said, without turning around.

  Justin froze, giving himself a second to decide how to handle this. He had options. He could play it cool, unaffected by having Roman in the house, or he could go full drama queen and throw shade and play the bitchy twink who had managed to get through high school on his cutting wit and excellent fashion sense alone. Except, he hadn't been that person in a long time. Well, the fashion thing had stuck, at least.

  "I wanted to surprise everyone," he said, wondering how many times he was going to have to repeat that to justify showing up at his own home. "Wasn't expecting to get one of my own."

  "I'm sorry," Roman said as he turned to face Justin.

  Justin would have much preferred it if Roman had stayed facing the other way. Then he could have at least ogled a magnificent ass without having to look at the face of the man who had broken his heart.

  Justin shook his head and took a step forward. "Don't be sorry. Chase—uh, Chase told me what happened with your parents." He took another step as Roman hung his head and leaned back against the kitchen counter. "I'm so sorry, Roman. I wish things hadn't turned out that way."

  "I should have listened to you years ago," Roman said softly.

  "Me? I'm probably the last person in the world you should be taking advice from," Justin said as casually as he could manage, walking over to the fridge and taking out a can. "I know how much you wanted things to work out between you and your folks. I feel sorry for them that they can't see how awesome you are."

  The small chuckle that came from Roman as he raised his head was a surprise, but the smile he gave Justin almost killed him. "I think the last time we saw each other, awesome was definitely not on the list of words you called me."

  Justin smiled back, cracking the tab on his soda, determined to keep eye contact and not give an inch in whatever it was they were doing. "In my defense, I was having a pretty awful day."

  The smile fell from Roman's face, and he placed his glass back on the counter. "Your mom said it was okay for me to stay, but I can go if you don't want me here. I don't want to make things—"

  Justin grimaced and waved his hand around, dismissing whatever thoughts were going through Roman's mind. "Shit, no, I didn't mean it lik
e…please stay. I'm not saying it won't be a bit weird for both of us but enough water has passed under the bridge that we can be friends now, right?"

  Justin was surprised to see the look on Roman's face, as if what he had said was the last thing Roman had expected. For a moment, it looked as if he was about to say no, but he never got the chance as Kyle walked in the room, stopped dead two steps from the doorway, and looked between the pair of them.

  "Everything okay in here?" he said in his rough cop's voice.

  Justin shrugged one shoulder. "Of course, Officer. Why wouldn't it be?"

  Kyle eyed him suspiciously and then gestured at the fridge. "I forgot the dip. Grab it and bring your scrawny ass in the other room. I've got to leave for work in ninety minutes so I want to get caught up."

  He did everything bar give it the old "chop chop" but Justin still felt the need to roll his eyes at him as if he had, saying, "Nothing scrawny about my ass, old man," but still doing as he was told, turning right around and grabbing the dish from the fridge.

  As he started to follow his dad out, he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Roman was lingering at the sink. "Well, come on. Don't think I'm about to let you throw me to the wolves. I need you to distract them with tales of your new and exciting sports career so they don't eat me alive."

  "You've got to be kidding me," Roman said as he picked up his glass and followed along obediently. "I've already had the third degree and where were you?"

  Justin was about to say something like, "I'll make it up to you," but it sounded way too much like flirting, so he just grunted and hoped that would serve as a response.

  When they made it into the lounge, Justin was given a few minutes grace while everyone dove into the plate of dip, and used the time judiciously. Pulling out his cell, he clicked to the conversation he'd been having with Casey earlier that afternoon and sent a text.