by Cari Quinn
“Purple?”
“Look, it’s still wrapped at least.”
“Will I get an infection because it’s ancient?”
“Hush. It’s retro. Hey guys,” Jamie said brightly while she motioned for me to look upward. “Hello, Donovan. Back so soon from Britain? Didn’t I hear you had some bigwig powwow?”
“Ms. DuCaine. I wasn’t in Britain. We have these lovely things now called telemeetings.” He shut the door behind him and quickly surveyed the table. Only one seat was open now—the one Cooper had vacated. “Where is Mr. Dallas?”
The door opened behind Donovan and he stepped aside to let Cooper in, now carrying two Cokes. “Donovan,” he said easily as he sidestepped him. “To what do we owe this pleasure?” He slid one of the bottles toward me and I tried to mouth thank you while Jamie slicked purple mascara onto my lashes.
And subsequently poked me in the eye with the wand.
“Motherfucker!”
“Whoops.” Jamie grinned. “That’s the kind of language I like to hear. Way to go.”
My face flamed to match my hair. “Sorry,” I mumbled, waving Jamie off when she came back for round two.
“You’re only half done.”
“Whatever, I don’t care. At least I can still see out of one eye. Daisy will fix it, right?” I asked Oz hopefully, referencing his girlfriend and the band’s newest hairstylist and makeup artist.
Oz dropped his big frame into a chair. “Gonna say yes because even I know she won’t go for purple mascara.”
“It could work for nineties’ night,” Jamie mused, dropping the tube back in her suitcase-like purse.
“You mean like Kris Kross and Vanilla Ice?” Zane laughed and flicked a hand through his currently blond on top, brown underneath hair. “I could try to rock that pompadour.”
Oz nudged his shoulder. “Don’t let Daze hear you say that or she’ll make it happen. She has a sadistic side.”
Zane’s brow arched. “Yet you sound as if you like it?”
Oz grinned. “Love it.”
“Oh, put a sock in it. I’m sick of people who are in love. It’s sickening. I already live with Romeo and Juliet while we’re touring, now I have to watch you get your hair French-braided while you recite poetry to her.”
“Wise ass, it was the lyrics to ‘Booty Poppin’, that new song by The Imperials.”
“Whatever. It’s unnecessary. We’re a rock band. Love makes you all messy and shit.”
“We’ll see what you say when your day comes, DuCaine.” Cooper sat back in his chair and kicked out his legs.
She snorted. “Never gonna happen.”
The door opened again and everyone fell silent as Noah stepped into the room, dressed in camo pants and a skintight black shirt that highlighted a hell of a lot of muscles. The foolish girl inside me who’d once crushed on him may have swooned a little, but mostly, I looked at him fondly, like a well-remembered former love who hadn’t, you know, actually loved me.
And from his assessing glance in my direction, someone who might still metaphorically kick my ass for my door stunt this morning.
All that felt like a lifetime ago.
“Sorry I was late. Unavoidably detained.” Noah’s voice was clipped as he stood next to Donovan.
Apparently, sitting was for us little people.
“No problem,” Lila said smoothly. “Donovan and Noah are joining us today just so everyone is up to speed on where we’re at collectively as far as the tour. There have also been a couple of unfortunate events.” Her gaze centered on me and I would’ve sworn I flushed down to my curled toes in my boots. “There will also be some changes.”
I expected accusing stares to be directed my way, but when I took a quick guilty look around the table, no one was looking at me.
So, what the hell. I’d woman up and handle this situation. As much as I could anyway.
“Just so everyone knows, I wanted to practice last night. My pianos are in storage, and I was about to start renovations on my place. You know, new start.” I took a bolstering breath. “Sometimes I can’t sleep, so I play. It helps to settle my mind.”
“Wine works wonders. And sex. Wine-soaked sex works really well.” At Noah’s frown, Jamie fluttered her lashes. “Some need a lot of both to unknot their shorts.”
“I’ve tried it,” I said quickly before Lila could reprimand Jamie for getting off task. She couldn’t help herself. Making jokes was how she made people feel better or diffused tension. And yeah, she liked to snark too, but it was harmless.
Usually.
“Wine-soaked sex?” Zane slid a glance toward Cooper. “You know anything about that?”
“Of course not,” I snapped before he could speak. “Why would Coop know anything about what I do naked?”
Zane coughed into his fist. “I didn’t mean he did. I was asking if he’d gotten any. But now you have a guy wondering.”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“I try not to make a practice of it, but thanks, I’ll take that under advisement.”
Face burning, I darted a glance at Cooper. He simply gave me a level look that made me feel like even more of a jackass. “I just mean I’ve tried both, not necessarily together. Never together. Though I could. I should.”
I didn’t know what I was saying or if I was even making sense, but Zane decided to toss me a bone. “I can vouch for its efficacy.”
“Efficacy?” Oz snorted and shoved Zane’s shoulder. “Word-a-Day calendar working out for you, huh?”
“Look, I’m trying to explain.” I glanced at the head of the table at Lila, more than a little surprised she hadn’t spoken up yet to cut me off. She nodded for me to continue, so I brushed a stray curl behind my ear and forced out the rest. “So, anyway, I couldn’t sleep, so I took an Uber here.”
“Here?” Lindsey placed her perfectly manicured hands flat on the table. “Late at night?”
“Yeah. I’ve done it before. I like to go to some of the venues and pretend I’m playing for the crowd. And now I don’t have my pianos at home, so I couldn’t play there even if I wanted to.” I hated, absolutely could not stand, that the corners of my eyes prickled. If I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. “But I shouldn’t have come.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” Noah’s voice lashed across my skin with enough force that I wouldn’t have been shocked to see blood. “Especially now with our increased security measures, which were put in place due to a credible threat. But even if that threat did not exist, you are a member of a world-famous rock band. Going out alone in the middle of the night without security is stupid.”
“Hey.”
When Noah didn’t so much as acknowledge Cooper, he slammed a hand on the table and whirled to face Noah. “You do not get to call her stupid. Ever. Understand me?”
Noah’s jaw ticked. “I didn’t call her stupid, Dallas, I said what she did was stupid. As I would say the same about you if you did similarly. Or supported such a moronic move.” Then under his breath, he added, “Though you have plenty of your own.”
“Coop,” I pleaded, leaning across the table to reach for his hand. But he paid me no mind.
Cooper rose slowly to his feet, much like a cobra rearing up in preparation to strike. “Seems like you have something you want to say to me.” He cracked his knuckles. “Let’s take this outside.”
“Let’s not.” Lila sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “Maybe neither of you are willing to let Teagan finish, but I am. Go ahead, Teagan.”
Still no Ms. Daly. Minor miracle.
Shooting a quick apologetic glance at Cooper—who remained standing, fists under his arms—I said the rest of it as quickly as possible. Using my pass, playing on stage, hearing the weird feedback sound and that sensation of being watched. Then going backstage to possibly confront whomever was there until my terror drove me out.
What I didn’t mention? The call from my ex. Destroying private property while I was freaked out was bad enough. Reminding ev
eryone yet again about my disastrous taste in men seemed like another nail in my coffin.
Besides, he wasn’t involved. He couldn’t be. We’d been broken up for years. I was sure he didn’t give a shit what I was doing now.
Then why did he call you in the middle of the night?
He hadn’t left a voicemail. I’d checked. But he’d called, because I’d checked the call log again today just in case I’d been hallucinating last night.
Nope. Still there. And when things calmed down and I knew just how badly my life had gone to pieces this morning, I would decide how I was going to deal with him.
But much as I hated it, I would have to tell my bandmates. Probably before this meeting was over.
“That’s why you had my sticks.” Cooper’s tone held none of the rancor that it had contained when he’d spoken to Noah. “To defend yourself.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’d gathered as much, but that look on your face… You were afraid for your life.”
There was no denying it. “Yeah.” I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. “It was a dumb thing to do. Just because I’ve done it before and it was fine doesn’t mean everything is the same now. It isn’t. Plus, I’m jumpy as fuck,” I let out a harsh laugh, “so I had no business doing that. I’m sorry, Noah.”
“Fuck that. You don’t have to apologize to him. For all our supposed security, where was he last night? Wasn’t with you, wasn’t watching your place. Such fancy-ass security, huh, Jordan?”
“You know the rules when we’re off tour. But thanks to Ms. Daly, that is going to be changing,” Donovan said before Noah could reply.
I shut my eyes, wishing I could vanish. Just disappear from this room.
“Not entirely due to you, Teagan,” Donovan added, his voice softening. “You’re hardly the only one of your band members to do something ill-advised without the benefit of security.”
Jamie held up a hand. “In my defense, I didn’t mean to kidnap that fan. It just seemed like the quickest way to diffuse the situation.”
Lindsey covered her eyes with her hand and peeked out between her fingers. “Kidnapped? Are you serious?”
“He’s fine,” Jamie insisted. “He wanted to play a little Stockholm syndrome but I told him I wasn’t into his kinky games.” She nibbled delicately on the edge of her pinky nail. “At least not with him.”
“This is all a joke to you, isn’t it?” Noah shook his head. “All of you.” His gaze touched on each of us in turn. “Until someone gets seriously hurt. Or could have been hurt. Like this morning.”
“At the club?” Cooper demanded.
Noah said nothing.
“Or at her home. Is that what you’re saying?” Cooper’s jaw worked. “And if that fire was intentionally set, thank God Teagan wasn’t there.”
Five
Somehow I resisted the urge to cover my face with my hands.
First, I’d thought someone was messing with me at the club. Or at the very least not letting on they knew I was there. But maybe everything was so much more sinister.
Oz sat up straighter. “What fucking fire?”
Cooper started to tell him, but I shook my head and he let me fill the others in. Jamie and Lindsey seemed to know more than the guys, but they were still surprised to find out how bad the fire had been.
Now I just needed to know the extent of the damage—and what Noah had been insinuating.
“What do you know?” I asked quietly, focusing on Noah. “Please.”
He let out a breath and consulted the clipboard he held at his hip. “They’re still processing the scene. There’s a lot of water damage, but the fire appeared to be located primarily in the front of the house. Living area, kitchen, front hall. Pockets of it elsewhere.”
“What about her bedroom? Her clothes and other stuff?”
“They’re still processing the scene,” Noah repeated to Cooper. “In a few days, we should know more.” He lowered the clipboard. “Do you smoke, Teagan?”
“What? No. Why?”
“They found a cigarette?” Cooper asked.
Noah didn’t answer, but his question said plenty.
Cooper shoved the chair hard against the table. “So, tell me again how Teagan would’ve been safer staying in her place last night? It’s a damn good thing she wasn’t there.”
“I’m inclined to agree.” Lila folded her hands over ubiquitous iPad. “Even if I wish you hadn’t gone out alone, it turned out to be fortuitous, regrettable damage aside. Now we have to figure out who did this and if it was an isolated event.” Her attention moved to Donovan. “Or part of the whole.”
“Maybe we’d be able to help you figure that out if you’d tell us what exactly is happening.” Jamie flicked her thumb against her fingers. “So far, we’ve heard about a letter and various bogeymen who may or may not be lurking in the shadows.”
“If we knew how far the threat went, the people responsible would be in custody.” Noah’s tone brooked no arguments. “William Scotsman was the one we originally held responsible for the murder of Randy Pruitt. We also believed at one time Teagan’s brownstone had been broken into by her ex-boyfriend. Now this is a second occurrence at that residence. Scotsman is dead. So, any theories, Ms. DuCaine?”
“Broken into?” Cooper stared at me. “When?”
His frustration and worry hit me square in the chest. “Before I joined the band,” I said quickly. “It wasn’t that bad…” I trailed off and shut my eyes. “Okay, yeah, it was. I should have told you, but I was trying to put everything behind me.”
“Yeah, well, it seems like a lot has been shoved under the bed in this situation.” Jamie sat back in her chair. “You know what would help us to come up with those theories, Chuckles?”
I nearly banged my head on the table at her usage of Noah’s nickname, since it really was not the right time. But his face remained impassive.
“The entire story,” Lindsey answered, looking directly at me. “We need to know everything that went on with you and your ex.”
When I didn’t respond, she covered my hand with her own. “I’m sure it was difficult, and I know you want to leave it in the past, but we need you whole and here and safe. And if it affects all the rest of us too, well, there’s really no choice. We can’t keep putting the band and the crew and Lila and her family in danger to save feelings and respect boundaries. We just can’t. I’m sorry.”
“There’s not much to tell. I swear. It wasn’t that deep. I mean, it was, in the sense we were in love—or I thought we were.” I took a quick glance at Cooper and realized he was staring somewhere over my shoulder. “My parents helped me with the purchase of the brownstone, and we rented out the other apartment for income. Pat moved in with me shortly after I got the place.”
I lowered my head. I didn’t know why. Guilt, maybe, that I’d told my best friend so little about such an important relationship. Cooper was closer than just about anybody to me, but somehow, he wasn’t close enough for me to share this.
Or perhaps I was just ashamed that I could have let this happen to me. That I hadn’t prevented it somehow. Gotten out sooner. Cooper was always telling me I was tougher than I looked, but was I?
“Go on,” Lila said gently.
“We had dated for maybe six months at that point. It was probably too soon. But I thought we were building something. He’d mentioned kids and marriage and I thought…”
“You thought you could trust him.”
I nodded at Cooper, trying valiantly not to cry. “Yeah. And then he started seeming on edge a lot. He’d always joked he had an anger management problem, but I couldn’t say or do anything right. His teasing turned into insults. Really mean stuff. We’d get into an argument about something dumb, and he’d shake me. Hard.” My hand trembled as I reached for my soda.
Wordlessly, Cooper leaned across the table and pulled the tab for me, then pushed it my way. The small kindness made my tears overflow, but I shook my head when Lindsey reached for me.
“I’m
okay.” I took a quick drink of soda. “It could’ve been so much worse. He never hit me, not exactly. Just shoved and shook me and broke things. He always apologized afterward. Almost always. And sometimes, when we were—” I looked at Lila. “I’m sorry, this is kind of private.”
“Then you don’t have to say it. Or we can talk later. Or we’ll clear the room.”
The guys started rising, without me having to ask. Even Cooper, although I could see the clear conflict on his face. He wanted to be here for me, just in case.
I smiled weakly and held up a hand. “No. Stay. It’s not that bad. I’m just being silly. We live together. I’ve seen all your dicks. Well, not Cooper’s yet. Which is weird.”
At the uneasy silence that descended, I dipped back my head. Leave it to me to be awkward squared.
“Okay. So, when we were being intimate, he started getting rougher. Which would’ve been all right if I’d had any warning. Before then, he’d teased me for being so small, and then it was like he thought I could take anything. Like he didn’t care. I had so many bruises I stopped wearing camis and tank tops, and he didn’t even hit me. He just manhandled me. And not in the good way.”
I wasn’t aware of my sniffling until Lindsey pressed a tissue into my hand.
“I wanted to break it off, but he’d lost his job. He’d always said art was his ‘stress reliever’, except it hadn’t been going well either. Nothing was. But when he shattered my crystal piano figurine from my grandmother, I screamed at him to leave. He threw me against my piano and cleared a bookshelf with his arm. And he left.” Suddenly, my eyes were dust dry as I met Cooper’s gaze. The compassion in his dark, dark eyes nearly broke me. “He didn’t argue anymore or try to keep me. He just let me go.”
And God, was that really how I felt? Still? After all this time and all the water under the bridge?
It had to be because of the long, exhausting, terrifying day. I wasn’t regressing in all the progress I’d made. My tough outer shell had crumbled a little today. That was all.
“Fucker.” Jamie slung her arm around my shoulders. “I’d kick his ass for you.”
