by Cari Quinn
“Me too,” Lindsey chimed in with a half hug of her own.
“Forget kicking ass.” Oz cracked his knuckles. “Any man who harms a woman needs a boot to the skull.”
“Thank you. All of you. For listening. For not hating me.” The last part came out in a whisper.
“Of course we don’t hate you.” Lindsey rubbed my arm.
“The break-in,” Cooper murmured. “What happened?”
I could tell he didn’t want to ask yet he needed to know. They all did.
They’d given me so much. I owed them the full truth.
I told them quickly what had happened. How I’d been out on a date with a new guy and returned home to find the place in shambles. I’d called Elle and Mal, and they’d come to stay with me while we contacted the police.
“They didn’t catch him and I never heard from him again. Until—”
Cooper’s gaze sharpened. “Until?”
I swallowed hard. The time had come to tell all, consequences be damned. “Until he called me while I was at the club last night.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.
“I didn’t think it was relevant.”
Cooper slammed his hands down on the table, and I fought off a shiver, even though my own reaction pissed me off. “Jesus, Teagan, he might’ve tried to kill you. Do you understand that? He might have broken into your place and done who knows what to you and when you weren’t there, decided to take his revenge another way. Do you get that?”
“Hey, man, cool it.” Zane touched Cooper’s arm at the same moment Jamie reared to her feet.
“No, he’s right.” I took a slow, deep breath. “I didn’t want to face that he could be involved. I still think it’s unlikely. He didn’t have anything in his past to suggest it.” At Coop’s fiery expression, I held up a hand. “At least that I knew of. Things could change. I might not have the whole picture. I get it, okay? But yelling at me to make me see what you want me to is not a whole hell of a lot different than what I dealt with when I was with Pat.”
“Is that so?” His voice went as cool and expressionless as his face.
Instantly, I regretted my words. “You’re not like him. You’re not. Just don’t shout at me, all right? It sends me back to a bad place.”
He didn’t respond as he slumped into his chair. He also didn’t look at me.
But he was still there. He hadn’t stormed out of the room and left me to face the wolves alone. Not that they were wolves. Far from it. Still, he knew how tough this was for me.
And he was sticking, despite the fact that I’d hurt him. For good reason, because hello, he had no right to yell at me like I was a child. What he did have a right to do—and I loved him for it—was to tell me the truth as he saw it just in case I hadn’t looked at all the angles.
Even if I didn’t like it. At all.
Saying nothing, I reached across the table for his hand, now curled around his unopened soda. He didn’t retreat. Instead, he clasped my fingers tightly in his own.
“That’s better,” Jamie muttered before taking her seat again. “I’m watching you, Dallas.”
“Oh, you scare me, DuCaine.”
Lila cleared her throat. “The last thing we want is anyone to panic. We’re keeping cool heads so we can take the steps we need to in order to ensure everyone’s safety. That means more security.” At the requisite groans, she lifted her brows. “You don’t want to disappoint your many loyal fans, correct? This is the price of admission.”
“And these terms are non-negotiable,” Donovan added, just in case any of us had forgotten his dark, commanding presence looming in the corner.
“We’re open to ideas, but we are also tightening protocols. Having bodyguards will not be optional.” Lila leaned forward. “You aren’t to travel alone any more than necessary for the foreseeable future. Right now, togetherness isn’t just a way to make the band cohesive. It’s a way for you to send a message that you can’t be fucked with. That together, you’re far stronger than you are alone.”
Jamie crossed her legs. “Well, duh.”
“Each of you will be assigned a permanent bodyguard. The only time that assignment will change is in case of illness or an unavoidable conflict.”
“Permanent?” Oz asked. “Forever?”
“Permanent until the threat has been handled, whatever way we deem necessary.” Donovan tucked his hands in his pockets. “We don’t like living with this any more than you do.”
“Wait a second, you mean you guys too?” Lindsey asked.
Lila smiled grimly. “You haven’t lived until you have to tell your six-year-old twins why that strange man is taking them to kindergarten.”
“Ugh, that’s horrible. Your poor girls.”
“Far worse than them is my husband. He actually attempted to put his bodyguard in a headlock on the first night.”
Oz grinned. “Attempted?”
“Yes. He did not succeed, much to his chagrin.” Lila sighed. “So, trust me when I say I want all this to be over just as much as every one of you. Probably more.”
“All of this can’t be Pat’s doing.” When Cooper’s grip tightened on my fingers, I flashed him a look. “I’m not defending him. He just wasn’t that bright.”
Noah’s eyes narrowed. “You’d be surprised the hidden sides people can have.”
Why did it seem like he was fixated on Coop? Who was not paying him any mind.
They’d been in the Rangers together, that much I knew. Cooper had left for an assortment of vague reasons. And he wondered why I hadn’t gone to confession about Pat? He wasn’t exactly Mr. Forthcoming either.
Sometimes I wanted to ask more questions, but mostly, I tried to respect his boundaries. Although what Lindsey had said about his dreams was preying on my mind. I’d kind of expected him to volunteer to crash with me this morning—why, I don’t know, since we’d never slept that close before—but maybe there were reasons he’d wanted his space. Or else he’d been worried about protecting mine.
God, why was everything so complicated all of a sudden? All I knew was that holding his hand felt nice. No one around us seemed to notice or care.
Except for me. I was definitely noticing and starting to wonder if he could tell my palm was damp again, for an entirely different reason this time.
Weirdo. He’s just being a good friend. Don’t make it a thing.
Lila was talking again, but my focus stayed on my fingers locked with Cooper’s. Clearly, I needed more sleep.
Then she mentioned the bus situation.
“We know you enjoy having more room and your current bus arrangements, but we’re making some changes. To keep everyone safe, we’re going to one bus for the band and security and another bus for the crew.”
“One bus? You can’t be serious. Blondie’s hair products take up a cubic mile.”
Lindsey reached behind me to playfully shove Jamie, who laughed and shoved her back. Then she seemed to notice how Cooper and I still had our fingers linked and raised a brow as she stuck her tongue in her cheek. I couldn’t help snorting out a laugh, and Coop slid me a questioning glance as if I was deranged.
At this point, maybe I was. But he didn’t let go of my hand.
“One bus, but not any ordinary bus. This is spacious with every amenity and worthy of being on a reality television show.” When Lindsey and Oz started to speak, she held up a finger. “Yes, there’s room for significant others.”
Oz let out a sigh. “Thank fuck.”
“That’s why you were worried, yep. But thanks for spelling it out.” Cooper grinned for the first time in I didn’t know how long as he squeezed my fingers.
Damp hands were now an issue. No doubt about it.
“You will all have plenty of room. Your significant others will too. We will have a modified security staff on the bus, led by Noah.”
“Well, of course.” Jamie snagged my soda and took a long pull before capping it and licking her lips. “Who else could we exp
ect to be in charge other than Master Sergeant?”
Noah’s mouth quirked into a shadow of a smile. “In charge of you? What a concept.”
“We leave New York next Wednesday to head out to Philly, so that will be your introduction to your new home away from home. I would say pack lightly, but we know for some of you, that’s impossible.” Everyone pointed at Lindsey and she held up her hands in mock defeat. “The bus can accommodate all but your most ridiculous shoe wardrobes in any case.”
“Great. We’ll get to see sexfests in even closer quarters.” Zane cocked his head. “Then again, who needs porn?”
“Y’all know I’m an exhibitionist.” Jamie popped her gum. “So, who am I sleeping with?”
“According to The Daily Tattler, your kidnapping victim,” Oz said drily while everyone laughed.
“Funny. I’m onto greener pastures.” Jamie unscrewed my soda again and tossed the cap at Oz, who caught it easily. “I meant my bunkmate on the bus. Hello.”
“Probably near your security, I’d assume?” Lindsey glanced at Noah. “You’re still with Teagan, right?”
“No,” Cooper said quickly. “I’ve got her.”
“You certainly do.” Jamie waggled her brows. “Get the chick on lockdown when she’s in distress. You, my man, are a movie of the week.”
“Actually, Noah is switching to Ms. DuCaine.”
If ever a statement had made a pin drop, that was it.
“Not necessary.” Jamie crossed her arms. “Teagan’s more of a flight risk than I am.”
“Hey.” I frowned at her. “Last night was the first time I did something like that.” My frown turned into a wince. “Recently.”
“Our decisions are final and not up for discussion.”
“What happened to you wanting our ideas, hmm?”
“Petulance does not constitute an idea.” Lila rolled on while Jamie aimed her murderous gaze in her direction. “As far as Teagan, Cooper has a point, and we’ll be happy to take advantage of his past training. Since you mentioned to me prior to the meeting that Teagan would be staying with you, I assumed we could employ one bodyguard for the both of you.”
Cooper didn’t look my way. “That’s correct.”
“Is that so?” I yanked back my hand and dropped it in my lap. My fingers were still tingling. “Do you recall me saying I could live temporarily on the bus? Assuming it was cool with Lila.”
“It is not cool with Lila, namely because the new bus isn’t ready yet.” Donovan’s cultured voice made me cringe. “Added to that, we’d prefer you stay with Cooper. Lila mentioned a united front earlier. When combined with Cooper’s training, the choice seems clear.” He paused. “Unless you have an objection?”
Everyone was waiting for my answer. Including me. Why was I fighting this? I’d stayed at his place last night. We hung out together all the time. It just made sense.
“You never even asked me before you told Lila I was staying with you.”
“I just figured—”
“You didn’t ask,” I repeated quietly. “That’s really important to me.”
Rather than arguing, he gave me a quick nod. “Yeah. I’m sorry. Would you stay with me? Temporarily,” he added as if he knew that would be a sticking point.
I curled my suddenly shaking hands together in my lap. “Yeah.”
Oz dropped his elbow heavily on the table, breaking the humming moment. “So, do I get Sarah again? She busts my balls, but I think she could drop a dude before I even knew he was there.”
“Yes. Sarah is still your bodyguard, Osmond.” Lila consulted her iPad and continued naming the security for the others.
All the while, Coop stared at me. With my heart beating way too fast, I stared right back.
Everything was changing, whether or not I was ready. I just hoped I still recognized myself as the woman I’d fought to become by the end of it.
Six
This woman was going to kill me. Period.
Her bluebell eyes were still a little shiny from her confession. Everything inside of me wanted to haul her out of her chair and hold her close. Bad ideas were just multiplying like gremlins after midnight in a rainstorm.
Jesus.
My chest still hurt that she could think I would be anything like that jackass Pat. I’d literally die before hurting her.
And yet part of me wanted to shake her right now. To shake sense into her that she was important to every single one of us.
Maybe that made me a monster.
I broke eye contact with her and stood. “We good? I need some air.”
Lila looked up from her iPad. “Yes, check in with your security, please. Cole Riggs is out there waiting for you.” She swiped through something and my phone buzzed in my pocket. “I sent you his details.”
“Thanks.” I knew my voice was far more curt than it should be, but I needed to get out of the room and away from Teagan for a few minutes.
I hated that I needed to keep her safe. Hated that she was afraid of me. Hated that she went through that bullshit with Pat. Hated that she didn’t think she could tell me—tell us.
Fuck.
I swung through the door and found a few similarly dressed security people. A little less camo than Noah, but then again, Noah didn’t bother trying to blend in. Even when we’d been in the same unit, he’d been more interested in getting the job done than interacting with the guys.
He’d been a senior officer, but not in my direct chain of command. He’d always been the one to do the most dangerous ops with very little downtime between jumps. Hell, most of the stuff Noah had been involved in was so classified, he couldn’t talk to us about it anyway.
The Rangers was already an elite force, but sharpshooters like Noah and Quinn Alexander were often used for ops I hadn’t been privy to. Then I’d left.
Noah hadn’t left by choice. Unlike me.
That oil sludge slice of memory didn’t need to come out today. I threw it back in the box it belonged in and headed for the side entrance.
“Dallas.”
I turned and swore. “Right. Sorry.” I held out my hand. “Riggs, right?”
He nodded. His gaze was as direct and reserved as the smoke gray color of his eyes. He had the rigid bearing of the military. The way he sized up the space and our location to others in the room told me he wasn’t just hired muscle.
“Navy?”
He nodded. “Good guess. Noah mentioned you were a Ranger.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah, don’t hold it against me.” He didn’t get much more approachable so I tried a different tact. “I’ll try not to be an asshole about this shit. I know you’re only doing your job.”
“Appreciate it.”
“Emphasis on try.”
“Understood.” His lips twitched, but humor didn’t soften his face. Guess I’d have to work on that.
“I need some air. Is that cool?”
“As long as I go with you.”
I sighed. “Well, come on. They’ll be looking for me any minute.”
“Mr. Dallas.”
Lila’s chilly, even voice had me swallowing the growl threatening. Couldn’t people leave me alone for one goddamn minute? I didn’t turn around, but I did pause before pushing my way through the side door.
“We need you for photos.”
I fisted my hands. “I need a minute.”
“I’ll see you in five.”
I slammed through the door. I frowned at the plexiglass window rattling slightly in the frame. It didn’t seem to match the high-end aesthetic of Purgatory.
This must’ve been where Teagan had been this morning.
I stalked down the alleyway then stumbled back a few paces when I spotted the line of people outside the venue. It was a decent-sized club, but definitely not the arenas we were used to.
Glass crunched under my boots. Was this the alleyway Teagan had flown down in terror?
My shoulders ached from clenching every fucking muscle. I was in no headsp
ace to do a damn show. Or maybe I was. Beating the shit out of my skins might actually kill some of this frustration.
But there was no way I could handle fans yet. And I was going to have to.
Soon.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets for my AirPods. My pregame mix of songs was the only thing that chilled me out. Especially after everything that had gone down today, I was edgy as hell.
Screams drove me through a set. But schmoozing required a certain sort of patience I did not have at the moment. Talking was overrated.
Especially when it was the chirpy, incessant small talk of strangers. Since beating people quiet was frowned upon, I normally used a little Godsmack before these sorts of things to keep me sane.
I loved the road with my whole heart. My mom and sister were my number one—then touring. Even more than the actual writing of music. I left that to the rest of the band. Most of our songs were written with a piano and guitar. Some during sessions. Some were simply created on the damn bus.
We actually did most of our recording live in the studio, but I was a beast about using drum fills. It was me or nothing. If I couldn’t do it alone in the song, then it didn’t get used. So, they used a lot of my drums at the very end of the recording and production because songs often went through a ton of changes.
But this in between time—when we weren’t really on the road, but not really off, either? Yeah, this was utter shit. And now I was supposed to play nice with reporters or executive VIPs, which were far different than fans.
Fans were the bonus round of this crazy life. There were a few loose screws here and there, but by and large, they just wanted to be in our space for a few minutes and let us know what our music meant to them. Those were the moments that made the endless round of hotels and busses worth it.
Then there were the groupies. For a time, they’d had their place in my life, when this circus was still new and my dick was less discriminatory. When I chased the high of a good fuck to get rid of the darkness and doubt.
Like any drug, it eventually stopped working. At first, I looked for more of it, but I’d never been the guy to pass around girls like they were party favors.
I’d been raised by a strong woman and had a little sister, so there was no way I could compartmentalize that shit for long. I was a helluva lot more discerning these days.
