Premonition

by Lisa M. James

  “Kiatra—”

  “You see things. You have visions.”

  Chapter 22

  Panic overwhelmed me at her words. How had she drawn this conclusion so quickly? Visions were no common thing. I knew or had heard of no one else with such a curse within the Fortress. I had read the accounts, and nothing had been recorded. “No—”

  “Do not lie to me.” She said sternly. “I am familiar with the signs of that gift. The look of your eyes. The stammering of your breath as if you returned from a long journey.” Her face was indistinguishable. “I suspected it, didn’t I? Though you never allowed me close enough to see the signs for certain. For some time now I had my suspicions, as you claimed to have your headaches or when you knew things about my people that were impossible for you to know! Yet, I did not wish to believe it. Certainly, you would tell me if you possessed such a rare gift. Certainly, you wouldn’t treat me as a fool?”

  “Gift?” My mind flurried with questions on her words. How could she possibly have suspected it? How was she familiar with the signs?

  “I am right, aren’t I? Your vision on my account was not the first time you have seen something.”

  “It is not as you think—”

  “Don’t presume to know what I think. Answer me.”

  I knew there was nothing I could say in my defense. “No, it wasn’t the first time I had seen something.” I admitted hesitantly.

  “How long? How long have you been able to see things?”

  “Fifteen years. My first vision came when I was eleven.” I answered quietly.

  “Fifteen years?” She repeated as if the number meant something to her. “This is how you knew my tax collectors were cheating me when you first came? And when you encouraged me to further question a testimony these last years or advised me to go against the advice of my council. It’s all because you’ve seen something!”

  I didn’t nod. I didn’t confirm. There was no point. She already knew what I was. There was nothing I could do or say to defend myself. It was over. She said nothing for a long moment while I prayed that the earth would open up and swallow me whole.

  “Why Isaac? Why would you keep this from me knowing what this gift would mean to me? Did you wish to hurt me?”

  “Hurt you?” I didn’t understand her words. Why would she refer to my curse as a gift? What could it possibly mean to her other than that she took on a slave with defect? “I feared for my life! Can’t you understand that?”

  Her expression shifted to confusion. “Why would you fear for your life? Do you understand how rare and revered your ability is?” Revered? My head started to pound. Why was she saying these things? Why did she keep calling my visions a gift? “You don’t know?” She asked slowly as she put some distance between us. “You don’t know.” She repeated as a statement.

  “Know what?” I asked in confusion.

  “Isaac, my mother was a soothsayer.”

  “A what?”

  “She had your same gifts. She saw visions of the future.”

  “What?” The little I knew of Kiatra’s mother was around the adultery the Chief committed against her and the madness that overcame her toward the end of her life.

  “She was the first of her kind seen in the Fortress for centuries. When she fell ill, she said someone else would come soon.” She shook her head. “She did not say those words exactly, but she told me, Someone will come and take my place and,” She cut her words and studied me again. “I wasn’t certain she was speaking of another soothsayer, yet here you are. I should have known. She said I would know. Perhaps she had seen you come. She knew I would be drawn to you. Your bravery. Your compassion. Your selflessness. Your fire.” She was looking at me, but her eyes became distant.

  “My fire?” I repeated in confusion. “I-I-don’t understand. Why has no one mentioned this before? If it was such a revered gift—” I stopped realizing why such a thing wouldn’t be mentioned. “This is why she was believed to be mad, isn’t it? This is why she was believed to suffer from delusions and demons. Because of her visions?”

  “Delusions and Demons?” Kiatra asked in confusion before her eyes narrowed. “You’ve been speaking to my sister, haven’t you? Sabrina and Rose spread those lies about my mother. That she was always filled with demons and delusions and was never a sound woman.” She looked at me in hurt and disbelief. “You believe their lies?”

  “No, I don’t! I—I just don’t understand.”

  “My mother was not mad, and her visions had nothing to do with the illness that overtook her at the end of her life.” Kiatra stated firmly. “Though her visions were discredited because of it. I told you she served as my father’s chief advisor for many years before she fell ill. Before then, she was considered wise—”

  “But many believed her visions might have led to her madness?” I thought out loud, trying to follow the thread of thoughts. A sudden thought came to my head amidst my confusion. “Did my father know? Of your mother’s visions, did he know?”

  She studied me for a moment before nodding. “We didn’t hide it from the village leaders. My father was proud of her abilities. My mother was the one who predicted the period of drought. My father placed a lot of trust in her when she was well.”

  “That’s what my father feared for me. That what happened to your mother would happen to me if I pursued my abilities. That’s why he wished for me to hide what I saw. It’s the only thing that makes any sense.”

  “Your father told you to keep this gift from us?” She asked in disbelief.

  “Not just from you, from everyone. My father always told me to suppress my visions. To hide it. I was told I was cursed, not gifted. That I was with defect. That my visions were something evil that would have me taken away and executed.”

  “Executed? By whom? Me? My father? If your father had revealed this to us, he is right, you would have been taken from your home, Isaac. You would have been trained as an advisor in my father’s court from a young age. Your entire family would have been honored. My God, if my father found you pleasing, he would have betrothed me to you whether I wished for it or not! That is how sacred your abilities are considered here. Did your father hold us in such contempt that he would keep you from us to spite us?”

  I was starting to feel ill at her words. Specifically of her mention of a betrothal and the realization of how my life could have been so different. My father had lied to me all my life. Though in my heart I knew he thought this lie protected me. He feared I would share the same fate as Kiatra’s mother. That my visions would drive me to madness.

  “I don’t understand you.” She spoke in exasperation. “If you thought this could lead to your death than I understand why you kept it a secret for weeks or perhaps months, but years? Years you have kept this from me! Years you believed that I would have you executed for something you couldn’t help? After all this time, do you think so little of me?”

  I didn’t know how to respond. That first year I did consider telling Kiatra, but my doubts always held me back from speaking the words. Then it just became so natural to hide it from her. Every inkling that surfaced to tell her the truth was shadowed by the thought that I would be cast out of her presence. That I would immediately lose her favor. That if kept alive, I would be known as a madman here too.

  “What will happen to me now?’ I asked hesitantly.

  “Now you’ve made things complicated.” Her voice became hard. “It will not be easy for the people here to believe you have this ability and understand why you kept it hidden for so long.”

  “Perhaps, it’s better to keep it a secret then?” I said desperately. “My lady, your people’s last memory of these abilities is not fond! What if they do not think it is a gift anymore? What if it is now believed to be a curse here? It’s been so many years since your mother’s visions. When the people become aware that I share her abilities what if all they believe is that I will share her same fate and be driven into madness—”

  “My father�
�s unfaithfulness is what drove my mother into madness, not her gifts.”

  “His unfaithfulness is what likely festered it, but we can’t be certain that—”

  “My word is what you should be certain of, not the horrible tales you hear from others! My mother was a good woman and she deserves to be remembered as such. If we make your gift known, perhaps through the good you do for the Fortress because of them, my people will come to remember how my mother faithfully served us for so many years in the same way.”

  How could I make her understand? I didn’t want to hurt her, but I didn’t want to be known as Mad Isaac anymore. For ten years I suffered with that name. I finally had peace from it, and she wished for my sanity to be put into question again by making me a spectacle to her people. The last person they remembered with my abilities had lost her mind. What were they supposed to think of me?

  “Why do you do this?” She continued. “Why do you bring me so much joy in one moment and then serve me such defeat right after? How will I ever be able to trust you?”

  “Mistress, I didn’t mean to deceive you.” I said in resolve. “I will keep no more secrets from you.”

  “No more?” She asked almost as a challenge. “Tell me what you saw in your vision then?” My mouth went dry. For a moment, I had forgotten what I saw. How was I supposed to tell her I saw my death at her hands? That I had seen my execution for reasons I didn’t know? “Forget it. I won’t force you to tell me. The way you looked at me afterward, it couldn’t have been in my favor. You would just lie to me and I couldn’t stand it if you lied.” She distanced herself fully from me as she paced the villa. The villa she had gifted me when moments ago she was pleased with me. “Do you remember what you said to me when you asked for forgiveness after your attempted escape four years ago? If you find fault in me again, then let my deception be my end. Do you remember that? Show no more mercy. Let me justly pay for my crimes. Do you remember?” She asked sharply.

  “I remember.”

  She nodded and she kept nodding as she spoke again. “Do you wish to pay justly for your crimes against me?”

  I closed my eyes a moment bringing back the image of her dagger against my neck. I knew my death would not come so quickly but I spoke the words I thought she wished to hear. “As you wish, mistress.”

  To my surprise she laughed, though her face was without humor. “I wish for you to see the next five years as my slave. I wish for you to remain by my side. And what I truly wish is that I could trust you without these creeping doubts plaguing my mind.” She exhaled sharply and kept her eyes locked on mine. “You’ve made a fool of me. I will certainly lose respect from my people on account of this. How difficult it is for our Chieftess to control her slave, they will say. And what do I have to say in my defense? Nothing. Yet, like the fool that I am, I will give you another chance to keep communion with me. To live honestly with me. I will find something to say to my people. To my father and our council about your abilities. Something that will spare us both from ridicule and humiliation. I will assure you receive the honor that you deserve for saving my life, but that is it, Isaac. I have no more goodwill to give you. If you are deceptive again—”

  “I won’t be—”

  “If you are, I cannot show you any more mercy. I cannot keep the respect of my people and continue to show a man who breaks faith with me over and over again, favor. You will work hard for me these next years. If your abilities are strong enough, I will turn you from my scribe to my advisor, just as my mother was to my father. Yet, any counsel you give me that proves unfavorable, you will serve the punishment for it. I will ensure it.”

  “I hope to not be a reason for your grief again.” Although I knew I would be. My vision showed my execution. Something I do would break her trust to a point that was beyond forgiveness.

  She stared at me not believing my words as I spoke them, I knew. “I am growing tired. I will take my leave now. I will have someone sent to you to bring anything you might need. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.” She had given me so much, yet I felt a sense of loss as she turned away from me. I opened my mouth to say her name. To stop her. For what purpose I didn’t know. I just didn’t want her to depart when she was disappointed in me.

  Before I could say anything, she stopped suddenly. She turned back toward me and closed the distance between us. She cupped my face with her hands again as she pressed her lips gently against mine, before pulling away and looking into my confused eyes. “Thank you for saving my life.” She said softly as she pressed her lips once more against mine. “I forgot to tell you that before.”

  The shock and confusion I felt over the vision I had overshadowed any pleasure her kiss should have brought me. The woman had said the words I had heard and kissed me as I had seen it four years ago. Though now I knew all this was leading to her ultimate rejection of me. I would do something she could not forgive.

  As she turned away from me, I grabbed her wrist. “Can you not understand my fear in revealing my abilities to you?” I asked in despair. “You must understand I didn’t wish to deceive you?” I pleaded.

  “Yes. I understand.” She said solemnly. “I understand why you wouldn’t confide in someone you do not trust.” She studied me for a moment as her eyes looked grieved. I released my grasp of her hand. “It would never work would it?” Kiatra spoke so quietly, as if she was speaking to herself. “There is just too much to overcome between us.”

  “What would never work?” I asked in confusion. She only shook her head in response to my question as she turned away from me.

  I watched her leave before collapsing onto the coach, putting my head to my knees. There was no point in going after her. She had said her piece. I had deceived her. I had broken her trust and she believed that after all this time and all she had done for my benefit, that I did not trust her. And what could I say to counter? After what I had seen, how could I say that I trusted her now?

  I thought about Kiatra’s mother’s fate. Perhaps, once she was beloved for her abilities, but that was certainly not what the woman was remembered for. Was it truly her husband’s unfaithfulness that drove her mad as her daughter believed, or something else? What if it was this gift that brought out her madness? Could it have been pressure from the reliance her people had on it that broke her? Could I be susceptible to the same fate? Would my mistress have no choice but to execute me because of it?

  It didn’t matter what I said or what I saw on this account. Kiatra would reveal my abilities to the Fortress. She would make me her advisor. She wished for me to somehow restore the reputation her mother had lost because of her illness. Somehow, I would fail her.

  I tried to reconcile the three visions I had seen that were yet to come to fruition. I had seen Kiatra in a cell while Sabrina told her she was deceived by someone she loved. I had seen myself back in my village, reuniting with my mother. I had seen Kiatra with a dagger at my throat. Could they be connected? Was it possible that I could be the deceiver? Would I try to escape again but this time somehow make it back to my village? Would Kiatra have no choice but to execute me because of it?

  I racked my fingers into my hair as my head started to pound. No. I didn’t have the will to run again and I couldn’t be the deceiver that Sabrina spoke of in my vision. Sabrina had said that Kiatra was deceived by someone she loved. I imagined my lips against hers. For a moment I could forget that she was not some common woman and that I was not a man without freedom, but I knew it was not love that brought Kiatra into my arms and her lips against mine. She wished to show gratitude for her life, and she tolerated her slave’s arms around her to do so.

  Yet, like a fool, I was in love with the woman. I would never let her know it. What benefit was there to tell her? There was only one possible ending for us, and I had seen it.

  My death. Kiatra was my Chieftess, my master and if my vision could be trusted, she would soon be my executioner. Somehow, I would lose Kiatra’s trust and she would be my end.

  Epil
ogue

  “Do you hear the way that man is praised, Sebastian? My mother’s murderer, now an honored man. My sister is the one who should be dead. Her and my father—”

  “Lower your voice, Sabrina. Do you think anyone will take your words lightly if you are overheard? One misstep and you will be the one on your deathbed.”

  “What does it matter now—”

  “Shhhh.” He said gently as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me toward his chest. The man likely felt this was a comfort for me, but I cringed at his touch. Sebastian thought he was my most admired paramour out of the handful of men I kept company with. In truth, I felt little for any of them. They were all means to an end. Means for me to become Chieftess and sole ruler of the Fortress.

  I could feel the time nearing when my sister fell ill. I had done nothing to cause it. It was simply good fortune that brought about her sickness. My mother said we should wait and let the illness take its course, but when my sister looked as if she might recover my mother coaxed my father to allow her to attend to Kiatra. Small servings of poisoned leaves she would grind into the healing elixir she made for Kiatra. I had told her to increase the amount, but she assured me that it was better if the woman faded gradually. Just as her mother did. It was almost a successful plan. We only needed a little more time.

  It was not the first time I felt that my reign would be near nor was it the first time someone tried to poison my sister. Six years ago, her baker was executed for it. I had taken the man on as a lover. I did not ask the man to harm my sister. I simply coaxed in his ears my troubles with her and what a fair ruler I would be in her place. I simply suggested that nothing could be done while my sister was heir. The persuasive properties of the ashen flower that I used as a cosmetic powder on my skin, made the man more subjectable to my words, but not a slave to them. Unfortunately, it did not make him any smarter. He was foolish enough to be caught by the ever so diligent Mara for pouring an ounce of poison in Kiatra’s evening meal. The woman who now prepared my sister’s meals proved not to be so easily coaxed.