Maia

by Richard Adams

  "No, that's dull," said Maia. "Breeding goats, I mean," she added.

  Zen-Kurel laughed. "I'm sure you had something better to do in Bekla than breed goats, hadn't you?"

  "Yes, I was a dancer. But I've danced as a goat-well, that's to say, as Shakkarn. Do you know the senguela- the dance about Shakkarn and Lespa?"

  He did not, and listened attentively as she described it and went on to speak of Fordil's extraordinary skill as an accompanist.

  "But if you danced in the Palace of the Barons at Bekla, you must be a very good dancer?"

  "Well, I don't know. It was just that there was this party,

  see, and I happened to be there. I was surprised how much they seemed to like it. But then if you're attending on the king, you must be a very good officer."

  "Well, not really. It's just that I happen to speak Beklan, you see-"

  They both burst out laughing again, thoroughly pleased with themselves and each other. He was an extraordinarily fine-looking young man, possessing both style and charm, and merely to have him seated beside her, hanging on her every word and never taking his eyes off her, was making her feel better and forget the strain and eerie bewilderment of the afternoon. She might not have known how to handle that-who would? she thought-but she knew how to handle this all right. Ah, if only they had been in Bekla!

  "I suppose there'll be dancing or juggling and that after supper, will there?" she asked. "Is that why the king wanted it early-to leave time?"

  "Nothing so pleasant, I'm afraid," answered Zen-Kurel. "No, the truth is-" dropping his voice and glancing sideways for a moment at Karnat, who was talking to his other neighbor-"the king's called a captains' meeting to be held after supper. I can't imagine what about. I thought we'd finished for today, but with him you never know. He may do anything at all, and he quite often does. Once, for instance, when we were down on the Belishban frontier-"

  He was good enough to eat, she thought. He was even better than Elvair-ka-Virrion. His warmth and gallantry, his high spirits, his good manners-Suddenly she knew that if she could possibly help it she wasn't going to waste an opportunity like this.

  "I dare say you'll be-er-very busy, then, all the evening?" she said, looking down at the grape she was peeling and slowly laying the strips of skin one by one along the edge of her plate.

  "Well, as to that I can't say," he answered ingenuously. "A captains' meeting, you see-that could mean anything-"

  Maia, still looking at her plate, let her knee touch his for no more than a moment. "Why?" he went on. "Is there anything I can dp to help you?"

  "Well, the thing is, I very much need a new knife-a dagger, really-something with a blade and a point-and I was just wondering whether you could possibly get hold

  of one for me. Only I lost mine crossing the Valderra, see-it was a good one, too-and these Subans don't seem to have anything that suits me at all."

  "I'll bring you four or five to choose from," he said, "and sheaths to go with them. Shall I bring them round to your lodging? I don't know where it is, but if you can give me some idea-"

  "Oh, that would be kind of you! I'd be so grateful. Only perhaps we'd better keep it a secret, do you think?-it's only-well, the Subans-they can be so touchy, you know."

  "I won't give them the chance."

  "I'll tell you where to come, then. You go-"

  But at this moment they were interrupted, as Bayub-Otal broke off his conversation with the Suban lady on his right and once more turned to Maia at the same moment as the king. Soon Zen-Kurel was smoothly putting into Beklan the king's account of how he had once crossed the Telthearna into the wild land of the far north, where for the only time in his life he had seen the great blue eagles; that was in the Shardra-Main, the Bear Hills. Had Maia ever seen these eagles? Never, she replied, and to please him asked what they were like. Looking into Zen-Kurel's eyes as she listened to his smiling description, she felt she could have melted acres of the snowy wastes which they frequented.

  Soon after, with supper ended, Karnat apologized to the ladies for the tedious necessity of holding a meeting of captains, both Terekenalt and Suban: however, he assured them smilingly, he would not be long about it-there were just a few trifles that needed discussion, nothing more.

  Left among the ladies who had befriended her that morning Maia, after a decent interval of conversation, had no difficulty in pleading sleepiness and fatigue, and eagerly slipped away to her little house on the knoll. A lamp was burning, placed in a bronze basin as a precaution against fire, and three or four more had been left near-by, ready for lighting. She lit the lot, wishing as she did so that she had some pretty night-robe or dressing-gown, like the one she had put on-and then taken off-for Randronoth of Lapan on the night when he had stayed with Sencho. Well, there was no help for it. She would have to remain in the dress she had worn at dinner, and when Zen-Kurel came, pretend that some preoccupation or other had made her forget about changing. If he delayed too long, it wouldn't

  seem very convincing. Never mind, she thought. He liked her: she liked him; and anyway, for all she knew Katrians cared little or nothing for such niceties.

  She lay down on the bed to wait. A long time seemed to pass. It grew dark and the half-moon, already risen during the day, stood bright in the sky and shone in through the window. Moths fluttered and dropped about the lamps. She became impatient, then angry, then mortified and at last bitterly disappointed, lonely and depressed. So he hadn't taken her seriously after all! Yet it hadn't seemed like that during supper. No doubt he'd already got a girl somewhere in Melvda. It was only too likely-a young fellow like that. Or else the king had sent him off on some errand or other. But he might at least have let her know-sent a soldier or something. Well, she might as well go to bed. damn and double-damn Suba, baste the frogs, baste the blasted marshes! Black Kantza-Merada come and rip up Karnat and all his-

  At this moment there were footsteps outside, a quiet knock at the door, and Zen-Kurel's voice called "Maia?"

  He had brought a number of daggers for her to choose from, but after a short time they found themselves entirely agreed upon the one to suit her. It answered well in the hand and fitted its sheath perfectly.

  She lay in serene joy, her head on Zen-Kurel's shoulder, one arm across his waist, her hair tumbled over his chest. The relief, the ease, the beautiful, smooth tranquility of her body, was like a transformation. She no longer felt the same girl. Everything-the marshes, the mud, the grimy soldiers, Bayub-Otal, Lenkrit-was changed and become acceptable in a warm haze of delicious, sleepy amazement and satisfaction. She felt equal, now, to all of them-equal to anything. O Shakkarn, he was marvelous! She'd never imagined anyone could be so marvelous. Tharrin, Sednil- how far off, how contemptible! There was no comparison. Whatever could she have been thinking of? She pushed the thought of them impatiently away, like a mistress rebuking some loutish servant-"Don't bring those things in here!" There were no words, no thoughts even, to express her joy. It lay all about her, hanging like crystal over the bed, filling the shadows of the room, pouring from her own body. She herself was the source of joy, a still center,

  a fountain for the world. This, she now knew, was the man she loved and would never cease to love.

  "Are you crying?" he asked suddenly. "My shoulder's wet!"

  "I'm so happy!"

  "It really meant so much to you?"

  "Not did-does. It does-it always will! If only you knew how much!"

  "You needed it, then."

  "Oh, Zenka, it's much, much more than that-really it is. Do believe me! Yes, I did need, it but-oh, I don't want to go saying a lot of stuff as you mayn't Want to hear. I dare say you meet a lot of girls-"

  He put one hand on her shoulder, gently pushed her over onto her back and silenced her by placing his other hand over her mouth.

  "No; no, not like you, Maia. Can't you tell? You ought to be able to. You're far and away the most beautiful girl I've ever known in my life. When you came up to the landing-stage this m
orning, you looked like a goddess, do you know that? Everyone said so-even the king. Those yellow lilies-to tell you the truth, I've been able to think of nothing else but you all day. I'm utterly in love with you. I love you-sincerely."

  "Do you know-" She hesitated. Then, "Can I tell you something?"

  He waited silently. The tears were standing in her eyes. They glittered but did not fall, and after a moment she brushed them away.

  "When I was just a banzi, my stepfather basted me because I was beautiful. Then my mother found out and hated me, because I was beautiful. The slave-traders bought me because I was beautiful. They got fifteen thousand meld for me in Bekla because I was beautiful. And after that- oh, never mind. Now you say you love me because I'm beautiful-"

  "Well, you are," he answered composedly, smiling and not in the least disconcerted by her outburst. "What's all that got to do with us? That's over now. None of those people matter to us. You wouldn't really like it if I said you weren't beautiful, would you? You're just imagining trouble where there isn't any, my darling. It's pointless to ask would I love you if you weren't beautiful. That's like saying would I love you if you were someone else."

  She laughed. He made everything so easy. It was like waking up to a new day after a good night's sleep. A little early morning mist on the lake, but the sun was quickly dispersing it.

  Later, after they had made love again, she suddenly said, "Reckon you can have all my authority: I don't need it now."

  "Your whatV He was puzzled.

  "Oh-I was just sort of making a joke all to myself, really. A great friend of mine-kind of a rather tough girl, like, in Bekla-told me once that when you were with a man you should always be sure to hang on to your authority. But it's much nicer not to." She sat up, looking down at him through her falling hair. "My lover! My lord! Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it. There, so much for my authority!" She made a gesture of throwing something away.

  "Maia, I only want you not to forget me; ever. I can hardly believe this has really happened. I love you. I'll always love you. I want to marry you. But for now, I promise I won't forget you. You won't forget me, will you?"

  "Forget you? What d'you mean? Why, I'll make love with you again tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that! Whenever you like. There's no question of forgetting you! Fit-"

  He only shook his head, staring up at her. Filled with a sudden misgiving, she stopped.

  "There is."

  "Why?" He did not answer. "Why, Zenka, why?"

  "Because I shan't be here."

  "You mean-you mean-you mean the king's sending you away somewhere?"

  "I ought not to be here as it is: I'm risking trouble for your sake."

  Misunderstanding him-this fine young gentleman-the Tonildan peasant was suddenly angry, resentful. "Risking trouble? What, by making love to the likes of me, do you mean? Oh, you'd better go, then, hadn't you? Go on! Hurry up!"

  "Oh, Maia, don't! Don't spoil it! That wasn't at all what I meant! If only you knew-"

  "But I don't, do I? One moment you say you love me-"

  He seemed utterly desperate. "You're entirely mistaken!"

  "Am I? I don't reckon so. You said-"

  "Oh, how can I expect you to understand? You can't have any idea unless I tell you. Listen, then, and I'll tell you everything. I'm not supposed to-it's the closest possible secret-but it can't do any harm now, and anything's better than that you should think-When I say I shan't be here tomorrow, I mean nobody will."

  "Nobody?"

  "D'you remember at supper I said you never knew what a man like Karnat might be going to do next? Well, what he's going to do now's just a little matter of defeating the entire Leopard army and conquering Bekla, that's all. At the captains' meeting-"

  "Tonight-just now, do you mean?"

  "Yes; yes! Listen, Maia, and I'll tell you. Then you'll understand what I meant by saying I ought not to be here. The plan's a masterpiece. It's based on two things. One is that Karnat'll have the help of Anda-Nokomis's Subans, which makes his army about one and a half times bigger than the Leopards think it is: and the other is that although the Leopards think the Valderra can't be crossed below Rallur, we know a place where it can be-just. Only just, but that'll be enough."

  "But how can your king be sure the Leopards don't know? P'raps he's not as clever as you think."

  "Oh, yes, he is. Since Sencho was killed their spy network's fallen to pieces. We know that. Sencho used to keep everything in his own head, you see, to make sure that he stayed in power and Durakkon and Kembri couldn't do without him. Since his death, all his agents have been at sixes and sevens. He was the only one who knew who some of them were, even. But as well as that, we've stopped anyone leaving Suba for the last month and more.

  "The ford-well, you can't call it a ford, really-the crossing-place-it's about two miles below Rallur. The Beklans have got a bridge across the Olmen at Rallur, but they've got no outposts downstream at all, except for three hundred Tonildans on their own, all of two miles downstream from where we shall be crossing. Above Rallur, of course, they've covered every single ford. That's a good joke-we shan't be there!"

  "You're sure of getting across, then?"

  Her voice held little warmth, but his ardor and confidence took no account of this. He meant her to feel his own pride in the great victory in which he was about to take part. There would be no more doubt in her heart then.

  "We've got Ortelgan ropes, brought here secretly. An advance party under the king himself will reach the ford about midnight. I shall be one of those with him. He's going to wade across with the first rope himself, and even he'll be up to his neck-over his ears in places, probably. Then we'll get two more ropes across. After that, we reckon the best part of a thousand men will be able to cross in an hour. They'll go straight upstream and destroy the Olmen bridge-it's only rough timber, of course. Then they'll stay there to stop the Beklans getting over the Olmen while the rest of the army crosses the Valderra. Even allowing for accidents, everyone should easily be across by mid-day tomorrow. By that time the Tonildan outpost downstream will have been completely destroyed-cut to pieces-and we'll go hell for leather for Bekla. The Leopard army will follow us, of course, but we can deal with that. We won't have to fight our way through them to get to Bekla, that's the point. It's sheer genius!"

  Maia was about to reply but Zen-Kurel, his eyes alight with excitement, went on, "There's a general for you! Every man in the army would follow him anywhere! Now you'll understand, my dearest Maia, won't you, that it's not just some fiddling little business that I've got to leave you for? Until the meeting after supper I didn't know it was to be tonight. No one did. We've been waiting, you see, for the last few hundred Subans to arrive. But apparently this afternoon U-Nasada warned the king very seriously that the Suban camp was in such a filthy state that pestilence might break out at any moment. "And if that happens," he said, "you won't have an army at all. If it's the bad-water sickness, they'll just go down in cursing rows in a matter of hours-the Subans and your men as well." That decided the king: he made up his mind for tonight.

  "The men are being told at this very minute. We're due to start in an hour. I'm supposed to be with the king now- on instant call, anyway-but I came here to be with you. No one but you, Maia-believe me, no one in the world- could have made me take a risk like that-my place with

  the king, my reputation, future, everything. Now do you realize how much I love you?"

  She could find no words.

  "But whether or not you believe in my love, my darling, there's no two ways about it, I must go now."

  Hastily, he got out of bed and began dressing. "Wish me luck! Oh, the daggers! Never mind! Keep the lot!"

  Dazedly, hardly knowing what she said, she asked, "But- but how will you reach the river in the dark? The swamps-"

  "The river? Why, it's not far from where we are now- over that way." He pointed. "Didn't you know? The woods screen it, else you could almost see it."
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  "But you said-downstream-"

  "Yes, the crossing-place is about three miles downstream from here. There's a track. We've got guides posted along it already. Now kiss me, Maia; dear, darling Maia! I can't tell you how much I love you! I was going to kill ten Beklans: I'll make it twenty for you."

  "Oh, Zenka, don't go! You'll be killed, I know it!"

  He laughed. " 'Don't go!" What kind of talk's that, Miss Maia? You know I must."

  "Oh, I love you, Zenka! I can't bear to let you go! I love you!"

  "I love you, too. And this isn't the end; it's only the

  beginning, Maia, as far as we're concerned. Believe me,

  "we'll meet again in Bekla, when Karnat's taken it; and I'll

  marry you, if only you'll have me. Will you? Will you marry

  me?"

  "Yes-yes! Of course I will! I'll marry you and make you happy forever! I'd go anywhere, do anything for you!" She clung to him, weeping. "If only there wasn't to be the fighting-"

  At that moment a distant trumpet sounded. Zen-Kurel, starting, thrust her quickly from his embrace. "O gods, the king! I never dreamt it was so late! The king'U be furious!"

  Fumbling at the buckle of his belt, he ran out the door. The sound of his pelting footsteps receded and vanished, merging into the distant tumult of assembly that now reached her ears across the intervening meadows.

  50: DESPERATION

  Dressed once more, she stood in the doorway, gazing across the meadows faintly lit under the setting half-moon. In one or two houses, beyond the foot of the little slope, lamps were burning, but she could hear no voices and there was no one to be seen. The news, she supposed, had by now spread through Melvda, and almost everyone would be down at the camps, whence the first companies must already be on the point of leaving.