My Super-Hot Fake Wedding Date

by Leigh James

  “Pfft.” Maddy waved her cousin’s words away. “I want to hear about your hot lesbian lover and your happily ever after, minus the hot lesbian lover part—no offense. It’s not because you’re gay; it’s just that, you know.” She snorted, and that was when I realized that Madison was quite drunk. “The sex part.”

  The bartender presented us with a freshly opened bottle of Prosecco and three glasses.

  Maddy gleefully raised her glass after the bartender filled it. “To love!”

  A trim young man with seriously tall bangs and a three-thousand dollar suit sauntered up and threw his arms around Claire and Maddy’s shoulders. “Ladies! We’re celebrating?”

  “Of course we are, Tim.” Claire sniffed him. “Have you been smoking a cigar?”

  His narrow face split into a wide grin. “Of course. Like you said, it’s a celebration.”

  Claire wriggled out from beneath his grasp. “You stink.”

  “Ugh, I love you, but you do stink!” Madison slid out from underneath the man’s arm, too. “Tim, this is my boyfriend, Bob. Bob, this is Sienna’s fiancé, Tim.“

  I held out my hand to shake his. “Congratulations. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  Tim eyed me up and down. “There’s been a lot of talk about you, bud. I heard you and Frank almost beat the old man today. I would’ve paid good money to see that!”

  “Maybe someday I’ll play him again. But for now, I’m being taken off the tour.” I glanced at Madison.

  “You should come hang with me and the other guys tomorrow,” Tim said. “We’re gonna play golf before the ceremony.”

  “I’d love to.” I sucked at golf, but it was nice of him to ask.

  “Are you excited?” Claire asked Tim.

  “Of course I am. Sienna’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” He laughed and patted Madison on the back. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to any of us!” He sauntered off, grinning, sipping from his gin and tonic.

  We watched Tim engulf the scantily clad Sienna in a hug and blissfully kiss the top of her head. “How long have they been together?” I asked.

  “Since college,” Maddy said. They met their freshman year, and they’ve been together ever since.”

  “That’s impressive. Not a lot of people are ready to commit at eighteen.”

  Madison nodded as she watched her sister twine her arms around Tim’s neck. “They’re cut from the same cloth. Tim’s family owns a hotel chain. They have properties all over the world. He’s probably the only guy who’s capable of wowing my sister. So he did.”

  I watched Tim and Sienna as they broke apart, their hands sliding down to entwine as they met with more guests. They looked completely compatible and also totally in love. “It must be nice, though. To find someone you have so much in common with.”

  “Yeah. They seem really happy.” I caught a funny look cross Madison’s face as she watched her sister. It looked an awful lot like longing.

  Tyler Dermody, resplendant in a skinny suit, elbowed his way up to the bar. His gaze raked over Madison’s sexy dress. “Well hello there.” He grinned at her.

  “Heyyyy.” Her voice was starting to slur.

  I stepped protectively in front of Maddy. “Hey Tyler. Nice tie. It almost looks like you could floss your teeth with it.”

  His brow furrowed underneath his carefully tousled auburn hair. “It’s the style, you idiot. How’s your stomach?”

  “It’s great. How’s your face?” I cracked my knuckles.

  He snorted but deftly moved away. “Better than yours.”

  I cracked my knuckles again as he fled to the safety of his circle of friends.

  “Don’t mind him. He’s always had a thing for Madison.” Claire tossed her hair over her shoulder.

  I cursed. “I knew it.”

  “Hazz not.” Maddie tried to pour the empty bottle of Prosecco into her glass.

  “Has so.” Claire narrowed her eyes. “Thank God you were always too busy to date him.”

  Madison raised her empty glass. “Cheers to that.”

  “I am going to punch him before the weekend’s out.” I finished my drink.

  “I am not into dudes, but you are seriously kind of hot.” Claire fanned herself.

  “I know, right?” Madison grinned at me. “He’s my Italian Stallion. Giddy up!”

  Claire looked me nervously. “We need to get some food inside her.”

  “Yeah, I agree.” The waiters started circulating with hors d’ouvres and I guided Madison over to the table. She flopped down and slid low into her seat.

  “Oopsie daisy—here we go.” I helped straighten her, then looked around desperately for an appetizer or a bread basket.

  “I’m soooo drunk,” she announced happily to the older couple beside her.

  I scooted her chair closer to mine and whispered, “Now, honey, let’s not act up in front of company.”

  She grinned at me and ran her cool fingertips along my jaw. “You’re the best, Bob. D’you know that?”

  “I try. How about some food?”

  Claire sat down across from us, chatting closely with Mia. They were both sticking their chests out and tossing their hair. “Claire, can you pass me that platter?”

  “Sure.” She hurriedly handed me the crab cakes and turned her full attention back to the maid of honor, who was bursting out of her hot-pink gown in Claire’s direction.

  The caterers, citing a broken oven, had arrived over two hours late. I noticed Madison wasn’t the only one swaying in her seat. The staff quickly set down more platters and I hopefully pushed a crab cake in Maddy’s direction. “Does this look good?”

  “No, babe.” She slumped against my chest. “But you do.”

  “Oh, wow. Maddy!” A woman I’d never seen before was suddenly upon us, her long dark hair swinging out behind her. “Are you okay? No, don’t answer that—you are not okay.” She turned to me. “We’re about three seconds from pukeville. Can you help me get her up?”

  “Uh, yeah.”

  The woman tucked a hair behind her ear and smiled. “I’m Josie, by the way.”

  “Ah. The best friend. I’m Bob.” I patted Maddy’s hair. “Josie and I are going to take you to bed, okay?”

  “Mmm.” She smiled and nestled against me. “Bed.” She cracked an eye open. “Did you say Josie? Aw, come here!”

  She pulled Josie down and buried her face in her friend’s hair, inhaling deeply. “I’m so glad you’re here! My mom’s been such a c-word, but Bob is great—and wait, is the room spinning? Yay! I didn’t know they were having special effects!” But then she frowned. “Ackly, I don’t feel that good.”

  “Nine-one-one,” Josie said. “Let’s move!”

  “Come on, Maddy. Time to go.” I put my arms around her and carefully lifted her up.

  “I’m sure Sienna doesn’t want her vomiting all over the farm table,” Josie said, grabbing Maddy’s other arm.

  “As if!” Maddy snorted. “I’m a pro. Pros don’t vomit!” But as soon as the words left her mouth, her face puckered. “Can we please stop saying that word?”

  I sped up my pace. “Of course. C’mon. I got you.”

  We made it back to her room, deposited her on the bed, and Josie gave her some water. Maddy took one sip then lay back against the pillows, groaning. “I drank too much,” she moaned.

  “I can take it from here.” Josie smiled at me. “She doesn’t do this often, but we’ve been friends since we were kids. I got her. It’s nice to meet you, by the way.” She giggled.

  “It’s nice to meet you, too. But I can stay with her for a while. You just got here. You didn’t even have a chance to eat anything or say hello.”

  Josie’s gaze flicked to Maddy, who was passed out on the bed in her form-fitting red gown. “You seem like a nice guy and all, but I don’t know you. That’s my best friend. I’m not leaving her alone with a man I just met.”

  I nodded. “I respect that. Let me go get you a plate, and then y
ou’ll at least have something to eat. Sound okay?”

  Josie smiled at me. “That sounds great. Thank you.”

  I nodded my chin in Maddy’s direction. “You think she’ll be all right?”

  Josie’s face brightened. “You know what? I think she’s going to be just fine. Maybe this weekend will turn out better than she thought.”

  “I hope so.” As I hurried to get Josie some food, eager to please Maddy’s best friend, I realized that I meant it.

  I meant it a lot.

  Chapter Fourteen

  MADISON

  “Oh my God, my aching abs.” I dry-heaved again into the toilet.

  “At least you’ll have some abdominal definition after this!” Josie said cheerfully as she patted my back.

  “Did Bob see me throw up?” I didn’t really want to know the answer.

  “Nah, he missed that part.” She smiled at me, her complexion smooth, bright, and decidedly not hungover. “He’s a nice guy, huh? He was so thoughtful last night. He got you out of there so quick, and then he went and got me food so that I could stay and take care of you. He’s like Prince Charming.”

  I brushed the hair back from my face. “He’s really sweet. He put up with my mom and even threw a tennis match with my dad because I asked him to.”

  “So?” Josie asked, her eyes sparkling. “Is this a thing?”

  “I don’t… I don’t know.” I frowned, but that made my head hurt, so I stopped. “I like him.”

  “You do?” Josie squealed.

  “Ugh, stop. My head.”

  There was a knock on the door, and we both startled. “Miss Madison, a word, please.” It was Pryce, and he sounded pissed.

  I staggered to the door. “What?”

  Pryce, who was already dressed in his tuxedo, with his hair almost cruelly slicked back, motioned down the hallway. “Can you do something about this? The wedding’s today. We’re going to have contractors here in less than an hour.”

  “Do something about what?” I managed to sound indignant, even though I was woefully hungover.

  Pryce cleared his throat. “Mr. Palmieri appears to have passed out. He won’t budge. Apparently, he’s a rather deep sleeper.”

  I peered around the corner to find Bob slumped against the wall next to my door, snoring softly. His hair was tousled, and he was still wearing his suit from the night before.

  Pryce frowned. “I considered kicking him, but I thought I should contact you first.”

  “Gee, thanks, Pryce. I’ve got him. Please go snivel somewhere else.”

  His frowned deepened as he gave me a slight bow. “As you wish.”

  Josie saw Bob, and her jaw dropped. “He slept outside your room? I’m sorry, but that’s adorable.”

  My heart melted a little as I took in his rumpled suit, his skewed tie, and his mouth, which was hanging open. “Help me get him up?”

  We struggled to lift Bob, and he startled awake. “Huh? Wazzit?”

  I giggled. “It’s me. And Josie. You fell asleep in the hall. We’re just trying to help you.”

  “Oh. Hey.” He scrubbed a hand across his face and blinked a few times. When he finally looked less confused, he smiled at me. “This is embarrassing.”

  “Um, not as embarrassing as getting drunk and passing out at your sister’s rehearsal dinner.”

  “You didn’t technically pass out until after we left.” Bob nodded encouragingly. “I talked to Sienna. She gave me the thumbs-up for getting you out of there in time. It’s cool.”

  “It doesn’t feel cool.” I grimaced. “It feels bad. Real bad.”

  “You want to get breakfast? And maybe a Bloody Mary? A little hair of the dog?” He laughed when I winced. “A teeny bit of vodka and some tomato juice can do wonders. Trust me.”

  I shrugged. He smiled at me. I smiled back.

  “You in, Josie?” he asked her.

  She looked between the two of us. “Yes. Sure. Nothing I love more than being a third wheel.”

  Bob winked at her. “Think of yourself as more of an esteemed guest. I barely got to know you last night. We’re hanging all day—it’s the wedding marathon day. We’re going to have so much fun.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “We are?”

  “You passed out early last night. We need to make up for lost time.” With a final, dimpled grin, he waved and headed toward his room. “I’ll take a quick shower. Half hour? Or do you need more time?”

  “Half hour’s good.” I smiled as he went into his room, but all I wanted to do was follow him. He was like the sun—when he went away, I felt cold again. I just wanted to stay in his spotlight. He made me feel so good, warm inside, and I only wanted to bask in his attention.

  I slumped against the wall as he closed his door.

  “He’s dreamy, huh?” Josie fanned herself.

  I sighed in response.

  “C’mon, let’s get you dressed. If I’m an esteemed guest, you’re the main player. You need to take a shower and brush your teeth. I want you sparkling. A dimple that intense deserves some sparkle.”

  Thirty minutes later, Josie had performed emergency-hangover-sparkle therapy on me. With her magic products, she’d transformed me from a hungover, sickly mess to a lucid-looking, bright-eyed human. “You’re amazing.”

  She laughed as she finished smoothing her own hair, which hung in glossy waves down her back. “I’m good at my job, and you’re gorgeous, so it makes it easy. C’mon. Let’s go find Romeo.”

  “Wait.” I hesitated. “I… I like him, Josie. He’s a nice guy. I know I asked him to come this weekend for a reason, but I don’t even know if I care about that anymore. I mean, I care because my mother drives me insane. But I don’t care as much about that as I think… As I think I might care about him.”

  Josie frowned. “I’m not seeing the downside here. What’re you worried about?”

  “What if… What if he doesn’t like me back?”

  Josie put her hands on her hips. “Why on earth wouldn’t he?”

  “Because. Um.” I licked my lips. “I don’t know why, exactly.”

  “There’s the operative word—exactly. You don’t know why because there is no why. Of course he likes you! You’ve got everything to offer. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re kind. Any man would be lucky to have you.”

  “I always say the same thing to you, but you don’t listen to me.”

  “Well, that’s because I’m an idiot with a very vivid set of insecurities.” Josie shrugged. “Don’t be like me. Don’t let your lonely self stand in the way of you starting something. If you like him, don’t talk yourself out of it. You do that, you know.”

  “That’s not true. I just like to calculate possible outcomes and consider the associated risks.”

  Josie smiled at me, but it was a small, sad smile. “Relationships aren’t business, Maddy. They’re messy, and they’re complicated—they’re organic.”

  “I don’t like messy and complicated.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “You think you need to tell me that? I remember playing Barbies with you. You broke up with Ken because he wasn’t in the five-year plan. You were eight.”

  “I still have a five-year plan, and it doesn’t include—”

  “Learn to improvise, then. All I’m saying is, he seems like a nice guy. You like him. Don’t overthink it, okay? For once in your life.”

  I nodded. “Okay. I can relax for one day, I guess.” I hope.

  An enormous buffet breakfast was served in the barn, complete with a Bloody Mary bar. Dressed in an elegant charcoal jumpsuit, my mother breezed by our table then immediately breezed right back. “Bob, good morning. You’re looking strapping, as usual. Josie, hello there. I see you didn’t call that personal trainer I recommended.”

  “Good morning, Mrs. Delaney.” Josie chugged her mimosa.

  “And that brings me to you, Madison. A word in private, please?”

  I followed her to an empty table, and I made sure to bring my drink. “Yes,
Mother?”

  “What was up with your performance last night?” Instead of looking at me, she looked past me, never a good sign. It meant she was seriously pissed.

  “I had too much to drink. Actually, I didn’t even drink that much, but I hadn’t eaten anything, and it just went straight to my head.”

  “Did you know that your sister was expecting you to say a few words? Or at least mingle some more with the guests? All the other bridesmaids did. Even Claire when she finally tore herself away from the Graysons’ daughter.” My mother’s voice was ice. “I’d assumed, incorrectly, that you being a CEO meant you were responsible and trustworthy. Instead, you behaved in a manner inconsistent with our family’s brand.”

  “Um, we don’t have a brand. We are not Kardashians, Mother. And didn’t you start drinking at noon yesterday?”

  “You didn’t see me getting carried out of here.” She finally looked at me, her eyes narrowed. “You will not ruin your sister’s special day. I understand that you’re jealous, but try to have a little dignity.” She eyed my drink. “And take it easy on the booze. Jesus, you drink like you’re on JV. This is varsity, darling.” She sashayed off, and I took a rather large sip of Bloody Mary.

  I slunk back to my seat, pretending not to notice the worried looks Bob and Josie gave to each other.

  “What’s the matter?” Bob finally asked.

  I cleared my throat. “My mother just…chastised me for my behavior last night.”

  Josie’s eyeballs almost popped out of her head. “Isn’t that a little hypocritical?”

  “Yes, but she has a point.” The words tasted funny coming out of my mouth. I wasn’t sure I’d ever said anything like them before. “I was out of control. I shouldn’t have done that at Sienna’s rehearsal dinner.” I put down my napkin. “I should go apologize.”

  “Do you need backup?” Bob asked. “I can come and say hi to Tim.”

  “Sure.” I nodded shakily. “That’s nice of you.”