Pandemic Passion

by Amanda Kimberly

  “I thought even vampires can die from decapitation.”

  “Yes, but they can come back to life if you don’t burn the bones. Shifters don’t have that luxury.” Zhang said as he shrugged his shoulders.

  “I see your point,” Lorring said as he placed the belt around his shoulder and chest. He then let out a long breath. “I’m not going to be seeing Dartmouth or anyone I care about anytime soon—am I?”

  “That all depends on you and how fast you can train.”

  “Sounds like I’m in this for the long haul,” Lorring said with a sigh.

  “Yes, you are.”

  3

  Dixie started to fumble with her napkin as Lorring placed a coffee in front of her. It was the best way to keep the focus on listening to him rather than barrage him with a million questions that he probably couldn’t answer, to begin with.

  “I wasn’t sure if I should get you a Café American or a regular French cup of coffee. I opted for the latter since I remember you aren’t all that big on the seriously fattening drinks from those fancy coffee shops back in The States.”

  A warmness came over her, one that she’d been missing for a decade washed over her. She looked up from her napkin and formed a smile of satisfaction on her face once she locked onto his verdant eyes. She was ecstatic that he remembered how much she hated American coffee. It had been so long, and she wasn’t certain he’d remember that or even anything else about her.

  “You remembered?”

  “Of course! How could I forget? Honestly, I’m not that much of a fan of all the sugary drinks in the US either. And if I had a choice, I’d come back here to live.”

  “What makes you assume that you don’t have a choice? I mean, sure, there’s the prospect of changing jobs and such. But it’s not like there’s a lot tying us down in The States. I mean we have no family there. You should move where you are the happiest.”

  “Is that what you did? I mean after your parents passed away and all. Did you move to a place you are your happiest?”

  Dixie lowered her gaze from his and fumbled with the napkin again. She didn’t gamble on him asking such a hard question of her right from the start. She was so focused on biting her tongue that the notion of him wanting to open up didn’t cross her mind.

  Do I want to let him in again?

  “I don’t really call The States home, but it was a fresh start none the less.” Her lips formed the words before her brain could respond.

  “What made you stay? I mean, I know it was just you and your parents here, but you still have Cherry.”

  “I’m not sure. I guess after my parents died, I had this inkling I really didn’t belong anywhere. It was hard coming back here after they passed. It was hard packing away my life, their life. I still can’t open some of the boxes they left behind. They are in a storage unit a few blocks from my house I grew up in. Cherry has been kind to look in on the place for me while I was in the United States. Too many memories, too much pain—ya know?” She smirked slightly as her gaze met his briefly before falling, giving focus to the napkin again.

  Lorring placed his hand on her wrist.

  “I’m sorry. I should’ve been there for you. I really should have.”

  Dixie slid her arms off of the table and put them in her lap. She wasn’t about to let his guilt make her weak. She couldn’t give in to his attentiveness. The sensation of wanting to put all the nastiness and away of the past 10 years aside, all for another chance to kiss those gorgeous lips one more time. She had to fight her urges, her physical attraction to him, that pull that made her weak all throughout high school.

  “It’s okay. I mean, we weren’t dating at that point. You didn’t owe me anything, back then and you certainly don’t owe me anything now.”

  “But that’s where you are wrong. I owe you so much. So, so much. But before I get into trying to make the last ten years up to you, let me start with an apology, please?”

  “Lorring, it’s fine. You don’t have to do this.” She said as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You don’t even owe me that. We were kids all those years ago. We had our whole life ahead of us. I didn’t expect you to keep dating me much past high school. It’s not like long-distance relationships work out all that well. Especially while in college. You fell out of love with me. End of.”

  “I know you’d like to think that, but that wasn’t the case. I, uh,” His voice trailed momentarily.

  How much should I tell her? Should I tell her the truth? Or will she think I’m certifiable?

  “I uh, I was sick, Dixie, and for a long time.”

  “Is that why you left Dartmouth?”

  “You knew?”

  “I called your mother once I found out about my parents. I wanted you to know about them since you were so close to my dad.” Dixie paused for a minute, sucked in a breath, before continuing. “Anyway, she told me that you quit Dartmouth and started working for some guy on a farm of some sort in New England. She said it was some sort of therapy ranch for your illness. She didn’t get too much into what you had. But from what she was describing, I figured you had something like lupus since she told me you had a lot of problems at night with sleeping.”

  “Yeah, it is a lot like lupus, I guess.” Lorring lowered his eyes. He knew he probably shouldn’t tell her the exact truth. It’s not like she’d understand about him being a shifter. She had been as much of a skeptic about the paranormal as he’d been in high school.

  Sure, there were some people that believed that the supernatural existed and walked among the regular humans. But most people would give you the side-eye if you yourself claimed to possess magical powers.

  “I never meant to be away from you for that long. You need to understand that, Dixie.”

  “It’s okay, Lorring. Really. It was a long time ago.”

  She couldn’t help but frown. She was trying her best to hide her true feelings, but like when they were in high school, she was failing miserably. He always did possess a knack to see right through her.

  “It’s not okay. And if I had the chance to do things, differently I would have.” He patted the back of her hand. “I don’t expect you to forgive me straight away, nor do I expect you to forget everything and pick up where we left off so many years ago. But I would like to try to move past my mistake, and maybe we can even become friends again? I know I’m asking for a lot.”

  Dixie sucked in a breath.

  “Never did I fathom that I’d hear this topic of conversation this morning. Nor did I ever fathom I’d get an apology from you. I mean, you are sick. I accepted it and assumed you’d figured I should move on—hence you ghosting me and all.”

  His stomach dropped at the words. He wasn’t expecting her to pine after him for all of these years, but he also had a light stomach with the idea of her having moved on with someone else if that, in fact, is what she did. The idea of her having a boyfriend or even a husband at this point never crossed his mind because every time he looked into her eyes it was as if no time had passed between them.

  The only thing he was certain of was the fact that he had a need to apologize to her. Even after all of these years.

  Dixie let out another lengthy breath before meeting his doe-eyed gaze.

  “I forgive you, Lorring. I didn’t think I could ever do that. But now, after seeing you, I can understand that I want to. And more than anything in my life, I want to move past this too. After losing my parents and subsequently you, I hit a bottom. I lost my sole purpose in life. Because up to that point, my whole life was about pleasing them and you. I never once thought about what I wanted—sometimes even now I have to remind myself that I matter. I’m not 100 percent at this point, but I am starting to see things in a different way. A way that helps me to be less selfless. At that time, I always equaled selfishness to anything that had to do with the self. I thought even self-care was a form of selfishness. It wasn’t until I started reading a lot of self-help books and started seeing a counselor my senior
year in college that I realized that my outlook on life was severely skewed.”

  His eyes softened and his hand patted hers before he reached for his cup of coffee and took a sip.

  “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that on your own. I wished I had been there to help you.”

  She placed her free hand on top of his.

  “Actually, I have gratitude that you weren’t there. Now that I’ve had time to look back on everything that happened, I honestly don’t think that I would have started my healing process if I had you around. I think I would have repeated my unhealthy patterns, swept all of my feelings under the rug, and just went on with my life caring for you or anyone else in my life as blindly as I had been. It was like I thought that God’s plan for me was to be on autopilot my entire existence and neglecting myself was the sacrifice I had to make in order to spread His mission.” She said as she rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb.

  She briefly shut her eyes before meeting his gaze again. “Can we try to put the past behind us? Let’s move past this depressing part of my life and just have some fun and catch up. How’s life been treating you since you’ve gotten therapy for your illness? Have you been feeling more like yourself?”

  Lorring smiled as he watched her thumb rub over his knuckles. Electricity spread from them and shot through his body before a heat swelled in his core. He hadn’t sensed that kind of feeling with anyone since the last time he kissed her.

  God, I wonder if her lips taste as good as I remember? They are probably better than that. It’s been a while. A LONG while!

  “I am doing much better now. I’ve even been able to go back to a semi-normal lifestyle. I mean, I still need to keep my stress levels down. I do a lot of meditation daily, but it’s much better.”

  “That’s awesome! You must be chief of medicine now—right? If not—I’m sure you are close.” She said with a smile.

  “Oh! I’m not a doctor. After I got sick, I had to drop out of Dartmouth and I never went back to continue my degree in medicine. I’m involved in business now. I own a few properties after I took up a job on Wallstreet. My boss, Ciro, is really cool.”

  “That’s awesome. It seems like you are happy. Is there anyone in your life?”

  “I’m single, Dixie, if that is what you are getting at.”

  Her eyes widened.

  “Oh! Didn’t mean,” her voice trailed.

  “Dixie, it’s okay. I was going to ask you the same thing. The last thing I want to do at the high school reunion is to monopolize your time at the reunion as the ex that couldn’t get over his girlfriend. I mean, if you are in a serious relationship, I don’t want it to look like I’m stepping on someone’s toes.”

  “I’m single too. I haven’t dated anyone seriously since you.”

  Lorring smiled.

  “Me neither. No one seemed to measure up to you or what we had.” He squeezed her hand that was still holding his and smiled quickly before lowering his gaze to his coffee cup.

  Shit! How long have I’ve been holding her hand?

  He released his hand from hers and grabbed his coffee cup. As he did, he could hear a faint sigh escape her lips.

  Wait. Does she want to hold my hand? Or am I merely wishfully thinking this?

  She wants us! Can’t you hear her raised heart rate? Sense her nervousness?

  It can’t be that. It just can’t. He tried to simmer his wolf that was now monopolizing his thoughts with desire for her.

  His phone pinged. It was a text from Ciro.

  “Dude! Where the hell are you? I know technically this is your vacation time, but don’t forget why you are there!”

  “Shit! I’m sorry! I have to take this. It’s the boss. I’ll be right back.” Lorring said as he got up from the table and dialed Ciro’s number. Ciro answered the minute he stepped outside the café.

  “Lorring! What the fuck, man! You are never an hour late with your report. Did you get a hold of Annabel yet?”

  “Sorry, boss. I, uh.” His voice trailed.

  “You got distracted.”

  Lorring’s eyes widened.

  “I, uh,”

  “Lorring! It’s okay! I’m not mad, but dude, you keep forgetting that I can hear all of your internal dialogs. That’s one of the unfortunate perks of being part of a pack.”

  “Oh, right! I forgot. I’ll get a hold of her in a few. I just have to get Dixie back to the hotel first.”

  “Okay. But keep me posted. I’m worried about these numbers of shifters growing in France. None of it makes sense. The Beast of Gévaudan doesn’t attack humans this much. His highest number was 100 people within two years in the late 1700s. Now it’s up to nearly a thousand new humans turned shifters during this Covid crisis. It makes no sense.”

  “No—you’re right. It doesn’t make sense. I just hope we can find out who is behind all of this. And I hope it isn’t a shifter from the Equipoise solar system.”

  “I hope so, too. I suspect Jaxon since he has tried to pull this kind of thing before, but we can’t be sure until you do your surveillance. And we also can’t be too careful. It’s going to take all the clans and packs to go up against this new big-bad once the time comes.”

  “Yeah, we sure don’t need any alien invasions right now. It’s bad enough that we’ve got this pandemic to worry about. A couple of the natural-born wolves suffered the fever earlier than expected. Usually, we don’t have to worry about adolescence coming into their shifting abilities until they have reached puberty, but now they are getting abilities as early as the age of seven because of all of this unrest on the planet. I’m worried that infants and toddlers will change due to this unbalance. And if that happens, God help us all!”

  “Well, thank goodness our innate ability to align ourselves with our inner wolf has helped us to help the youngest of our shifting community. We will need our numbers if we have to fight against a pack from another galaxy. But yes, I share your fear. Babies and toddlers are the hardest to control. And we don’t need hunters getting into our business and starting another rebellion. The one in the 14th century was more than enough for our kind.”

  “Yes, indeed, Ciro.”

  “Alright, keep me posted once you talk to Annabell. Oh, and—try to keep your thoughts to yourself about Dixie, please?”

  Lorring swallowed hard before answering.

  “Will do, boss. Or at least I’ll try.”

  He hung up with Ciro and headed back into the coffee shop. Dixie was still fumbling with her napkin. He knew she was just as nervous as he was with this happenstance meeting. Had he not been convinced by Cherry and even his own boss Ciro to come to the reunion, he would still be pining over what once was between them.

  But given he had her before him in the flesh, and she clearly was still uneasy with the way things were left, he wondered if the fantasy he built up about her over the last decade was the better idea.

  God, she is still just as gorgeous as she was in high school.

  Watching her fumble with her hands in her lap after she put down the napkin was like stepping back into a simpler time for them. It was almost as if time stood still, teasing him into thinking that he could recapture her love, and all would be well with him again. But the fact remained that he was still a beast. And even though Zhang had taught him how to become one with his beast, there was still the risk of danger.

  All it would take is for her to be standing too close when he changed, or worse! What if there was an alien invasion coming, and she was caught in the middle because of what he had become?

  She smiled as he slid back into his seat opposite her.

  “I hope work isn’t giving you any trouble.”

  “No. Everything seems okay. I was just late calling into the boss. He’s kinda anal about debriefing meetings with his employees.”

  It was a huge lie, of course. If she had known the truth about Jaxson and his race of alien panthers who wanted to take over not only the Equipoise galaxy but possibly also The Milky
Way, she’d be just as stressed as he was.

  “Well, I don’t want to keep you. I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on before the reunion tomorrow.”

  Lorring frowned as she got up from her seat and collected her cup and purse.

  “Nonsense! Stay for a little while longer. You’ve barely touched your pastry.”

  “That one is for Cherry when I see her in a couple of hours. And don’t worry about me, I can call a taxi for myself so you can do whatever it is that your boss needs you to do.” She said as she snatched the pastry and napkin up and hastily shoved it in her purse. He reached for her arm to protest her words.

  “Have dinner with me tonight? I feel like we haven’t had much of a chance to talk this morning. I was really hoping we could get past the pleasantries and—”

  “And possibly pick up where we left off?” She asked as she patted his hand on her elbow before brushing it off. “Lorring, I really don’t know. It’s been so long.”

  “And that is exactly the reason why we should. How about we met in the hotel lobby around 7 at the bar? We can have a drink and if you still aren’t comfortable after having a drink with me, we can forget about dinner. What do you say?”

  She smiled before responding.

  “A drink sounds lovely. I’ve been looking forward to a good Bordeaux ever since I got here.” She chuckled before continuing, “I just didn’t think having one at 3 in the morning—the time my plane touched down earlier this morning was appropriate.”

  Lorring smiled and chuckled at her response.

  “Wonderful! But I also insist on sharing a taxi with you back to the hotel. My, uh, client is meeting me there for our luncheon.”

  “Okay.” She said and smiled again.

  He couldn’t remember when the last time was that he had seen her smile. It had always lit up a room. But in all the years of him knowing her and her smile, he was certain that she smiled more today than he had ever seen her smile before.

  Lorring hailed a taxi for them both and followed her into the back seat. Heat rushed through his leg and headed straight to his core as her leg gently grazed his. He bit his lip to squelch the sound of his breath hitching. A dull ache overcame his manhood as it strained at the zipper of his synthetic blended trousers. He shifted his weight away from her, desperate to hide his arousal from her, but her eyes darted towards his lap as she shifted her purse onto the floorboard. She quickly turned away, but not before he noticed a faint pink stain her on her cheeks.