Amish Second Loves

by Samantha Price

  Looking over at Hazel, Moira arched an eyebrow. Even though Moira loved Selma, the way she was acting like a love-struck teenager was more than bothersome. “Okay, we’ll head back,” Moira replied almost with a sigh. When Moira looked back at Hazel, she caught her mouthing something to Selma. Was she wishing them luck or something? Moira grunted as she shook her head and rose from the sofa.

  Chapter 4

  And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying,

  neither shall there be any more pain:

  for the former things are passed away.

  Revelation 21:4

  * * *

  Selma decided to walk outside and wait for Moira by the buggy. As she scuttled up the dirt driveway, she lifted her dress and shook it gently to free the muck from it. She leaned against the buggy and looked up at Hazel’s house. It wasn’t the most breathtaking home she’d ever seen, but it was a typical home out in the countryside. Back in Coulson County the houses looked different; perhaps they were a bit more modern.

  As the topic of home designs quickly faded from her mind, they were replaced by thoughts of Moira’s recent irritation with her. Selma wasn’t quite sure why her friend seemed so distant all of a sudden, but she could sense that Moira wasn’t happy about her date with Mr. Stutzman. Ever since he’d shown up and asked her out, Moira had acted strangely.

  At first, it didn’t make much sense, but after thinking it over, Selma was able to piece things together and work out the cause of Moira’s irritation. She had recalled stories that Moira often told of sewing with Hazel, at Mrs. Stutzman’s home nearly every day. Moira and Hazel must have developed a bond with Anna Stutzman. As much as Selma desired Moira’s approval and acceptance, she now realized that it wasn’t going to come quickly. She knew that it couldn’t be easy for Moira to see Mr. Stutzman interested in another woman. Maybe Moira thought that if Michael was happy it meant that he missed Anna a little less.

  Selma looked up at the sky. Maybe Mr. Stutzman had thought about his wife a little less, and she had thought about Bob a little less but was that a bad thing? It took nothing away from the love that they each held for those who had passed.

  The sound of Moira shutting the front door of her sister’s house jolted Selma back to the present moment.

  “You seemed like you were in a hurry inside. Are you even ready yet?” Moira called out as she walked toward her.

  Seeing Moira without Millie, Selma asked, “Are you forgetting something?”

  Moira stopped still and pressed her lips together as if in deep thought. “Ach, Millie.”

  Both ladies laughed, and Selma said, “You stay here; I’ll get her.”

  Before Selma got to the door, Hazel met her with Millie in her arms.

  “We nearly forgot the little one,” Selma said.

  “Nee, it wasn’t you. It was my schweschder.” Hazel leaned in and whispered to Selma, “Don’t mind Moira, she’s not herself lately. She’s dreadfully irritable; don’t think that you’ve done anything wrong. I get a bit grumpy too when I’m expecting.”

  Selma whispered back, “Denke, Hazel. I’ll keep it in mind.” Selma turned and headed back to Moira, who was already sitting in the buggy ready to go.

  With Millie in her hands, Selma climbed inside the buggy and slouched back in the seat. She looked up at the pale blue sky and sighed. Selma wondered how to approach the subject and ask Moira if she’d done anything at all to upset her, but not a single word popped into her head. She wanted to talk to Moira about herself and Michael and bring it all out into the open, but she just couldn’t find the right words to start such a conversation.

  Selma gave a sideways glance at Moira and saw that her eyes were steadily focused on the road ahead. It was then that Selma realized how deafening the silence between them was. Moira had always been a friendly, outgoing person, but now, instead of her bubbly self, she had been reduced to a silent, distant stranger who didn’t have a single word to say. With the desire to break the silence and remove the tension from the buggy, Selma decided to drop the thoughts of her date with Mr. Stutzman and focus on a happier topic. “So, those little crumb-snatchers of Hazel’s can be a handful, but boy are they so much fun to be around.”

  Moira slowly turned her head and smiled at Selma for the first time since the day before. “Crumb-snatchers! That’s a good one. Jah, they’re darlings, aren’t they? I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like to, but when I’m able to visit, it’s always a pleasure to see their cute little faces.”

  Selma smiled, happy that she was able to see Moira return to her old self again, even if it was only temporary. “Well it’s a pretty good nickname if you ask me,” she said jokingly. “They put their tiny little hands on anything they can reach.” The pair shared a light-hearted laugh.

  Moira turned to Selma. “Denke, for looking after the children so I could talk to my schweschder today. It’s difficult to have a quiet word with her sometimes.”

  “You’re welcome. I love to play with the children. Children are so filled with wonder and such joy. It’s refreshing.”

  After they had pulled into the yard at Moira’s house, Selma glanced at Moira and grinned. “Is there anything you need help with before I go inside to get ready?”

  Moira shook her head, her joy dissolving back into one of despondency. “Don’t worry about that, Selma, just go get ready for your date,” she said avoiding eye contact.

  Selma nodded, climbed down from the buggy, and then she headed inside without saying another word. Once inside the house, Selma grew excited about spending time alone with Mr. Stutzman. Her worry about what Moira might think was taken over by a fluttering sensation in her stomach that made all her worries disappear.

  She walked into her bedroom and decided to put on a clean dress for the occasion. After she pulled the dress over her head, she caught a glimpse of herself in the windowpane. “You definitely need to fix that prayer kapp of yours.” She untied her prayer kapp and unbraided her long brown hair. As she dragged the brush through, she noticed that more silver was appearing through her hair every day. Selma tied her hair into two long braids, wound them on her head and fixed them onto her head with pins before placing her prayer kapp back on her head.

  She chose to wear her plum colored dress hoping it might give her face a little more color. Selma wanted to look her absolute best, even though she was sure that looks weren’t important to Michael.

  After changing into the plum colored dress, Selma pulled the starched apron over her head. A giddy, youthful feeling washed over her, making her feel like a teenager in love for the first time. With a smile that just wouldn’t go away, she slipped on her boots just in time to hear a knock on her bedroom door. “Jah?”

  “Michael is waiting for you outside,” Moira’s voice answered through the closed, wooden door.

  “Denke, I’m coming.” Selma headed for the door and pulled it open. By the time she had done so, however, Moira was already out of sight. She had hoped to have a quiet word with Moira before she left. All Selma wanted was for Moira not to be so upset about her developing relationship with Michael. It made sense to Selma that since Moira had cared so much for Anna Stutzman, she should want Anna’s husband to be happy.

  Chapter 5

  For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore,

  or die, we are the Lord's.

  Romans 14:8

  * * *

  When Selma got to the front door, the sight of Michael Stutzman put a smile on her face. She forgot about every thought and every worry that she’d had that morning. All she saw now was a day with the man she wanted to get to know better; the man who made her feel alive again for the first time in years.

  “I hope you’re well today,” he said, with a smile.

  “I am denke.”

  “Right this way.” He held her arm gently, led her to the buggy, and then helped her i
nto it. Then, he ran around to the other side and hopped in. With a quick flick of his wrist, they were off, and their first official date had finally gotten underway.

  As they drove through the countryside, they spoke about various things, from the weather to ideas for the future. With each discussion, Selma’s affections for Mr. Stutzman grew deeper.

  “I was hoping that you wouldn’t mind coming to my place for tomorrow night? Miriam my dochder-in-law will be cooking, and all my boys will be there. I’d love for them to get to know you better.”

  “I’d like that very much.” Selma nodded, making sure to keep up the look of happiness that currently rested on her face. Part of her was nervous; even though she had already met them previously during her other visits to Earltown. “Jah, that sounds good,” she lied. She couldn’t help her nerves because she had already seen Moira’s reaction and feared that the Stutzman boys’ reactions would be far worse.

  Mr. Stutzman turned to her and laughed. “You’re terrible at covering your feelings,” he said jokingly. “You don’t have to be afraid of my boys, they won’t bite.”

  “Nee, but they might hate me,” she said, looking away with heat rising in her cheeks. She glanced out at the passing trees as the buggy continued traveling toward his house.

  “I honestly don’t see how anyone could ever hate you. When my boys see you at the family dinner tomorrow, they’ll know that something is growing between us. If they have any objections, then we can discuss it, but until then, let’s make the most out of how we feel,” he insisted.

  Selma looked back at him as a smile tried to form on her lips. “But even if your boys are okay with it and give us their approval, they aren’t the only ones that this will affect.”

  Mr. Stutzman tilted his head as one eyebrow arched higher than the other. “What are you saying? Who else would be upset by the news of our mutual attraction?”

  “Moira, for one. She hasn’t said anything to me, but ever since yesterday she has been acting differently. I know her quite well, and I think she has a hard time accepting that you’re willing to move on from someone she loved so much.”

  He looked at her intently and shook his head. “My dear, what others think is not our concern, and our business is not theirs. I hope that my boys will give us their approval and be happy for me, but if not, that’s not our concern. What happens between you and I stays between you, me, and Gott,” he said, looking up at the sky and pointing. He smiled as he looked back at her. “We don’t need to be ashamed of what we feel for each other.”

  Selma looked into his eyes, his words sending a sense of relief through her worried mind. “I understand that, but it’s still troubling. Moira has been one of my closest friends since my sister passed away and seeing her so tormented because of me is difficult. I just don’t like how it makes me feel, and if your boys were to feel how she does, it might be too much for me,” she explained.

  Mr. Stutzman shook his head once more. “I’ll make sure that my sons know that I’m keen on the idea of having a relationship with you. They deserve the respect of knowing, but if they can’t accept my decision, then they can do so, but it will not change anything. I’ve always put their happiness above my own, but now that they’re all grown men they’ll have to understand a few things. And one of those things is that life goes on, and life changes always.”

  Selma felt his hand on her own as his fingers fell between each of hers. She looked up slowly and smiled sweetly. Was it all in her mind, or did it seem like things could turn out well for her? He hadn’t said it specifically yet, but Michael had to be thinking about asking her to marry him soon. His words and his actions made her certain that he did want them to have a future together as man and wife.

  Selma and Michael had spent the whole day together, and it was late in the afternoon when Michael brought Selma back to Moira’s house. Mr. Stutzman gave a wave to Selma as his buggy drove away. She smiled and waved before turning and walking toward the front porch of the house. Climbing the steps, she wondered what she would say to Moira if she asked how the date had gone. Should she tell her the truth, or would a white lie be kinder?

  Standing in front of the door, Selma froze like a small child who had been forgotten out in the cold. As her fingers trembled a strange sensation washed over her. She knew that tomorrow would be a huge changing point for her relationship with Mr. Stutzman, but only if others had an open heart and an open mind. If his boys were to give their blessings at dinner, Moira would be the only person she knew of who was opposed to their relationship. She hoped that she wouldn’t lose Moira’s friendship.

  Selma sighed as she pushed the front door open. As it creaked to let her in, she winced, hoping the noise hadn’t been loud enough to alert the household to her return. Then, she closed the door and headed to her room, only to be caught off guard as she turned the corner.

  “There you are,” Moira said, nearly being startled herself in the process. “How was your evening?” she asked, lighting a candle and walking toward the living room.

  “My day was delightful. He even invited me to his place for dinner tomorrow night. He wants to introduce me properly to his boys and their families.” Selma thought about her date and how magnificent it had been. She only wished it had never ended, because every minute without Michael was like an eternity. Part of her wanted to head to bed to pass the night quicker, but she decided against it and followed Moira into the living room.

  Even though Selma was more than curious to see where things would lead with Mr. Stutzman, first she had to talk to her friend about the relationship. She needed Moira to see things from her perspective; she wanted her to understand how much she and Mr. Stutzman cared for each other and how happy they were when they were together. Maybe then Moira would accept their decisions and offer her approval.

  As Selma walked in and took a seat, Moira’s eyes never left her. Selma watched her just as intently, noticing that her lips had formed a pout. Selma shook her head and sighed before she could stop herself. Why couldn’t Moira accept the way things were?

  “Moira, I know it is still difficult for you, but Michael and I have grown close. We’re interested in each other, and I think we both deserve to be happy. The way he makes me smile is like nothing I’ve experienced in years …,” she said before being interrupted.

  “That’s nice, but did you hear about Old Man Charles? The neighbors found him wandering down by the creek again,” Moira interjected.

  Selma paused and shook her head, feeling defeated. She knew that Moira was only talking about their old neighbor because she wanted to change the subject. With things snowballing out of control in her mind, she balled her hands into fists as a wave of frustration flowed through her. It took quite a resolve to not let her frustrations bubble over into anger, but Selma was able to keep her composure.

  Just then, Tom poked his head into the room. His warm smile added a much needed brightness to the atmosphere. “Hello, Selma. I hope you don’t mind, but I was walking by and overheard the news. Congratulations! It is so wonderful that you and Michael have found each other. After the heartache you’ve both suffered, it only makes sense that two halves would come together to make a whole.”

  “Denke, Tom,” Selma said.

  “Anyway,” Moira grunted, shooting a glare at her husband. “I was just telling Selma about Old Man Charles and the way he’s been wandering about.”

  Tom glanced at his wife and smiled. “Okay, I’ll leave you two to your conversation,” he said before disappearing back into the hallway.

  “The meal will be ready soon, Tom,” Moira called after her husband. Moira turned back to Selma. “They had one of the policemen over at their farm earlier checking for Charles. I almost feel bad for the poor man, but it’s clear that he just can’t let the past go. I’ve heard stories of what happened to him, but who knows how true they really are,” Moira said.

  Selma stared off into nothingness as the world faded away around her. Moira’s words fell on deaf ea
rs as Selma focused solely on her own thoughts. She was certain that the choice should be left up to her and Mr. Stutzman. After all, they were both consenting adults with nothing to hold either of them back. If his sons would be willing to overlook their selfish desires and give their father their approval, then perhaps Moira would change her mind and offer hers as well. And if she still couldn’t accept it then, she would at least be able to cope with the decision.

  “The racket was enough to wake me from a nap earlier. The baby has been tiring me out, so the noise was not welcome,” Moira said, still rambling about the neighbors.

  “That’s a shame, but I feel very tired myself,” Selma replied. “Do you need help with the dinner tonight?”

  “The meat is nearly cooked and everything else is ready.”

  “I’ll go and set the table,” Selma said as she rose to her feet.

  Dinner went by quickly, and after Selma helped Moira clear the dishes and wash up, she excused herself. “I’m going to try to get some rest so that I’m ready for tomorrow. I hope you have a good night, sleep well.”

  Moira looked at her and nodded. “Good night,” she said, sipping coffee from her teacup.

  With that, Selma turned away and walked to her bedroom with a lantern to light the way. Thoughts swirled through her mind as she wondered about how dinner would go the next day. Would his boys understand, or would they react just as bad as Moira did when she first learned of their attraction to each other?

  Selma woke the next morning to the sound of birds chirping outside her window. The pale light from the morning sun shone through her windows, illuminating her small bedroom. Glancing out the window, she smiled, as a sense of goodwill welled up within her stomach. Selma felt confident for the first time in a long time.