Kissing Lessons

by Sophie Jordan

  “So cute! The pigs are flying!” Emmaline stared up at the pink balloons as they bumped into the ceiling. Hayden stared at her, marveling at the joy all over her face and knowing she had never felt that. Well, maybe she felt that kind of joy when Ms. Mendez oohed and aahed over one of her designs or when she stumbled onto a new zombie movie. She definitely didn’t feel joy over balloons and a boy with a cheesy sign or a dumb dance.

  Unlike everyone else, Hayden stayed in her seat and finished her pizza. Swallowing the last bite, she sipped her chocolate milk and stared down at her empty tray unhappily. Emmaline was still totally wrapped up in the proposal. So wrapped up she hadn’t even touched her pizza.

  Not about to let it go to waste, Hayden reached over and plucked one of the squares off her tray.

  She sank her teeth into the fresh slice with a delighted moan. Hayden was halfway through the pizza when the girls all settled back in their seats, immediately chattering about the proposal.

  “I want someone to ask me to the dance.” The girl with the beautiful dark hair and eyes pouted, picking at her pizza as though it were to blame.

  Sandwich Girl bit into another carrot and rolled her eyes. “Big shock.”

  “Be nice, Monica,” Emmaline chided.

  Hayden nodded at the last slice of Emmaline’s pizza. “You gonna eat that?”

  Emmaline shoved her remaining pizza toward Hayden and continued talking. “I want someone to ask me, too. I mean, it’s my junior year and I’ve never been asked to the winter formal. Or homecoming. Or prom.”

  “It’s just a dance,” Hayden muttered around a mouthful of pizza.

  “This is why I need your help.” Emmaline leaned across the table, tapping the surface.

  “So I can get you promposals?” Hayden snorted. She didn’t have guys lining her up to ask her to dances either. Thank God. “That’s not my department.”

  “But attracting guys is,” Emmaline insisted, waving her hands for emphasis. “I mean, look around right now. Notice how many guys are checking you out?”

  Hayden shook her head, not bothering to look around. She didn’t care if guys were checking her out. She did not measure her worth on whether or not guys found her attractive.

  “They could just be watching her eat like a wolf. What is that? Your fourth piece?” Monica bit down on another carrot.

  “Third,” Hayden corrected. “And I’m actually getting full.” She polished off the last square and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Well, it’s been fun, girls,” she lied, pushing up to her feet.

  “So we’ll see you later?” Emmaline looked at her hopefully.

  Hayden hated to crush the girl’s hopes. She really was nice. Too nice. Hayden wouldn’t be doing her any favors if she showed up for her slumber party. She couldn’t help her—she could barely help herself.

  The bell chimed, signaling the end of lunch.

  Hayden said nothing and nodded noncommittally at Emmaline. “Gotta go. I’ll see you around.”

  She hurried through the double doors, her breath falling a little easier once she was free of the cafeteria, free of Emmaline and her friends.

  She started down the hall toward her fifth period class, stopping when she heard her name.

  She turned and watched Emmaline jog to catch up with her, a bulging backpack bouncing on her shoulders. “Hey,” she said breathlessly. “You never answered my question.”

  “Uhh—”

  “Seventy dollars,” Emmaline blurted.

  Hayden forgot whatever she had been about to say. “Seventy dollars? For one sleepover?”

  “And lessons. I’d like you to answer all our questions.” Emmaline’s eyes fixed on her. “But yeah, seventy dollars. Easy money.”

  She couldn’t make that much money in a ten-hour shift at the Tasty Freeze. Not after taxes. Plus, she’d be asleep for the majority of the sleepover. Hayden sighed. She couldn’t afford to say no to money like that.

  “Okay.”

  Emmaline squealed and jumped up and down, her backpack thrashing almost violently behind her.

  Hayden reached out and clasped her arm, giving it a calming squeeze. “Take it easy there before you hurt yourself.”

  Emmaline nodded and started to back away. “Yeah, okay. I gotta run. My class is on the other side of the building. Bring your swimsuit, and I’ll text you anything else I can think of.” She curled her fingers and flapped a quick wave. “See you soon!”

  Hayden watched her hurry down the hall, wondering what she had just agreed to do.

  Lesson #14

  Don’t let anyone make you feel not good enough.

  x Nolan x

  Nolan watched as Hayden hurried out of the cafeteria.

  Priscilla was still critiquing the dance proposal with her friends as though they were judges evaluating a complicated Olympic-level floor sequence. They had a lot to say on the matter. The general consensus seemed to be that the guy should have had at least twice as many balloons and he should have gotten someone else to do the poster. Apparently the writing was not legible enough and there should have been glitter. Lots of glitter.

  His sister waved goodbye to her friends and hurried after Hayden.

  He felt the urge to chase after them. God knew their conversation, whatever it was, would be better than this one. At the very least it would be informative. It might possibly even shed light on his sister’s sudden fascination with Hayden Vargas.

  After spending the night with Hayden, he might share that fascination, but he suspected Emmaline had different motives.

  His sister didn’t have anything in common with Hayden. Emmaline wasn’t into horror films. She was into rom-coms and training for her academic decathlon team with all her friends.

  His chair screeched against the tile as he stood up.

  “Where you going?” Priscilla looked up at him. He was guessing she wanted him to stick around to hear her thoughts on proper dance proposals. The dance was a month away. She would be expecting him to ask her soon, and in grand style, of course. He had to admit, after two years with her, he was running short on creativity.

  “I need to get to class early. I want to go over a homework question with Mr. Akwasi.”

  Frowning, she nodded.

  He hurried from the cafeteria. In the hall, he noticed his sister at the end of the corridor, hopping excitedly in front of Hayden. Emmaline’s face was bright with happiness. Okay, that wasn’t normal. He headed their way with purposeful strides, determined to find out what was going on.

  Before he reached them, Emmaline hurried off.

  Hayden turned and caught sight of him.

  She shook her head ruefully. “Come to investigate?”

  He stopped in front of her. “Emmaline looked . . . happy.”

  “Your sister is a happy person.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Yeah, she’s always been that way.”

  “Then why so suspicious?”

  “I’m not suspicious.”

  “Yeah, you are.” She gave him a disgusted look. “We both know you think I’m a bad influence.” She waved a hand around them. “You sure you want people to see you talking to me? You have a reputation to maintain.”

  He winced. “Hayden, come on. I didn’t—”

  She shook her head. “I don’t have time for this.” She started to turn away but stepped into a path of girls running down the hall. Hayden’s notebook clattered to the ground, papers flying loose.

  “Sorry!” one girl called out, but they didn’t stop.

  Muttering, Hayden squatted to gather up her papers. Nolan joined her, helping her gather everything.

  “I got it,” she bit out.

  He ignored her, reaching for a paper close to him. Once it was in his hand, he stopped and studied it. It was a very detailed tree, growing from the side of a craggy mountain. Tiny colorful flowers sprouted from the branches. It was mesmerizing. “Did you . . . do this?”

  She looked up abruptly, her gaze flicking from h
im to the paper he held. She snatched it from his hand. “Give that here.”

  “You did that?”

  She shrugged one shoulder as she stuffed it inside her notebook with her other papers. He strained for a better glimpse. He could see that they were all brightly colored.

  “That’s amazing,” he said. “I didn’t know you were an artist.”

  She straightened to her full height and leveled him with a glare. “Yeah, well, you don’t know me. Do you? I thought we covered that already.”

  He buried his hands in his front pockets, unable to argue with her assessment. What could he say? He felt like he got to know her better last night and then he blew it this morning. He’d offended her and now she was pissed at him.

  “No,” he said. “I guess not.”

  “Right,” she snapped. Hayden glared at him a moment longer and then turned away. Without a word of farewell, she marched down the hall, her steps quick in her eagerness to be away from him.

  Lesson #15

  Sometimes you have to fake it to make it.

  x Hayden x

  Heated pool or not, it was freeze-your-butt cold.

  Hayden watched Emmaline and the others hop like fools from one end of the pool to the other, screaming at how freezing it was. Not that it stopped them or had them rushing back into the warmth of the house.

  “Get back in the pool, you idiots,” Hayden laughed, slapping the water with her hand. The water was seventy-five degrees, and it felt a lot better inside the pool than outside of it.

  Shrieking, they all jumped back in.

  They were idiots, but they made her laugh. She couldn’t deny it. She had to keep reminding herself that this was business. They’d hired her for her “expertise.” Nothing else. This wasn’t really friendship.

  She was here for the money.

  Hayden treaded in place and asked Emmaline, “Is this what happens at your slumber parties? You swim when it’s forty degrees and catch pneumonia?”

  “We usually swim when it’s warmer,” Emmaline admitted. “What do you do at slumber parties?” Emmaline’s hands swished through the water in front of her and Hayden felt the undercurrents against her bare stomach.

  “I don’t know.” She lifted one shoulder. “Never been to one.”

  Emmaline’s hands stilled. “You’ve never been to a slumber party?”

  Great. Now she was feeling sorry for Hayden.

  With that tidbit of information, Hayden felt the gulf widen between them. They might be two girls in the same town, going to the same school . . . but they had nothing else in common.

  Hayden shrugged as though it was no big thing. Instead of answering Emmaline, she said, “It’s getting late. Did you want to start on those lessons?”

  That’s why she was here, after all. Not because she was really friends with these girls. Hayden needed to remember that.

  “Yeah. We should.”

  “Hey, guys, let’s go in,” Emmaline called out to everyone.

  “That’s right. There’s work to be done,” Sanjana called cheerfully as she swam to the steps. “I’ve been waiting for this all night. The legendary Hayden Vargas is going to teach us all her dirty tricks.”

  Hayden stifled her wince. Dirty tricks. Well, that put it in perspective. Clearly they thought Hayden was here to teach them all her depravities. At least they weren’t thinking she was going to get them promposals anymore. That was somehow worse in her mind.

  Emmaline shot a quick glance to Hayden, as though worried they had offended her. Hayden schooled her expression to reveal nothing. She was good at that, after all.

  More screams ensued as they all emerged from the pool into the icy bite of air.

  “Cold is bad enough,” Hayden said through clacking teeth as she moved toward the towels. “Cold and wet, though, is . . .” Her trembling voice faded away as she noticed the two figures standing on the other side of the glass door.

  “Ugh, my brother,” Emmaline muttered. “And he’s all scowly. As usual.”

  Nolan was scowly, but he wasn’t scowling at Emmaline. He was looking directly at Hayden. He was probably worried she was telling his sister that he spent the night on her couch. Good. Let him worry.

  He didn’t want her here. She could feel his disapproval radiating off him in waves. Heat flashed under her shivering-cold skin as his gaze crawled over her in her bikini. Cheeks burning, she reached for a towel to cover up. It was dark, and he was several yards away, but she detected a ruddiness to his cheeks—as though he were red-faced with anger. That seemed a more likely reason.

  Hayden averted her gaze and shook out her wet hair, telling herself to ignore him entirely. That would annoy him.

  With a sniff, she turned her attention on the other figure looking out through the glass door. Of course. It was Beau. Who else would it be? He was looking directly at Emmaline, his gaze roaming over her in quick appraisal. There was nothing brotherly in his look. Interesting.

  “We better get inside before we catch a cold,” Emmaline announced.

  “You know that’s a myth.” Monica shook her head as though Emmaline were the silliest thing to make such a suggestion.

  “I don’t know that at all,” Emmaline snapped. “And neither do you.”

  “Yes, I do,” Monica insisted in a level voice as she twisted her wet hair, wringing out the water. “A cold is a virus. You don’t catch it from being cold or wet.”

  “You’re such a hypochondriac, Emmaline.” Sanjana laughed.

  Emmaline grabbed a towel and vigorously rubbed it over her chilled skin. “I am not,” she grumbled.

  “Yes, you are,” Monica started. “Totally understandable though.”

  Emmaline frowned and looked up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Well, you lost your dad, so it’s natural to have a fear of death, to see the threat of it everywhere, when death has touched you so closely and so intimately.”

  Everyone fell silent.

  Hayden shook her head. She might not have a lot of friends, but she was more socially adept than Monica.

  Emmaline’s face turned splotchy red.

  “Um, wow, Monica.” Lia shifted uncomfortably, her gaze swinging between Emmaline and Monica. “Rude, much?”

  “What?” Monica blinked several times, clearly unaware she had crossed a boundary.

  Suddenly feeling sorry for the girl, Hayden announced, “Well, my dad isn’t dead, but he might as well be. I’ve never met him. Last I heard, he was in prison, but that was three years ago.” Hayden tossed in a shrug to underline the casualness of this confession.

  Everyone gawked at her.

  Clearly none of them knew quite how to react to that, even Monica, who always seemed to have something to say.

  Hayden had everyone’s full attention. Just as Hayden intended. Everyone forgot about Emmaline and her dad and her issues.

  It was the kind of thing a friend would do, even though they weren’t remotely friends. But while Hayden may not be Emmaline’s friend, she was the one paying her. And Hayden didn’t really care what Emmaline’s friends thought of her. They weren’t her people. None of them were. Even if they invaded her lunch table and might make her laugh.

  She didn’t have people. She only had herself.

  She glanced around the backyard, with its pool and patio furniture and a wooden sign hanging on the back brick wall that read FAMILY in bold letters, and under those letters, in smaller lowercase text:

  a little bit of crazy

  a little bit of loud

  & a whole lot of love

  It was like she had stepped into an alien world. The very strangeness of it made her feel like there was a neon arrow above her head pointing at her and flashing the word misfit.

  This was not her life. At no time had this ever been her life. This place was for family and friends and love.

  She didn’t have a place like that. But right now, she was going to fake it.

  Lesson #16

  If you always
play it safe . . . you may never actually get to play.

  x Nolan x

  Hayden Vargas shouldn’t be here.

  It was Nolan’s only thought as the girls rushed inside the house to get out of the cold. Trembling in their towels, they chatted excitedly as they filled the kitchen, leaving wet puddles everywhere that would send his mother into fits.

  Several greeted Nolan and Beau. He could only nod hello because he was busy looking at her.

  She met his gaze head-on and grinned, clearly aware that he wasn’t happy to see her here. Any makeup she’d worn had washed off and she looked younger. Not at all like the hard-edged girl she usually presented to the world. Her honey complexion was marred with faint smudges under her eyes, giving her a hint of vulnerability. She looked human. Approachable. More like the zombie movie aficionado who had shared popcorn with him.

  He realized he was staring and forced himself to turn away.

  Emmaline and Sanjana were busy pulling food and drinks out of the fridge. Apparently, the pizza they had finished earlier wasn’t satisfying enough.

  “You like—what is this?” Sanjana pulled a lid off a pitcher and sniffed. “Kool-Aid? You want Kool-Aid, Hayden? I think it’s cherry.”

  “I can’t have red dye,” Monica interjected, as though the question has been posed to her. “Hayden, do you have any allergies?”

  “I found the dip!” Emmaline proclaimed, brandishing the container in the air. “Hey, Lia, get the chips from the pantry, would you?”

  Lia did as commanded and dived into the pantry, emerging with several bags of chips. “I love these jalapeño potato chips! My mom never buys them. Says they give her heartburn. Hayden, do you like jalapeño chips?”

  Was it just his imagination or were all the girls fawning over Hayden like she was a new toy in their midst?

  “What’s happening?” he murmured to Beau, who was also watching the scene in apparent fascination.

  Beau shrugged. “I think your sister is having a slumber party . . .”

  “Yeah,” he replied in a voice only Beau could hear. “With Hayden Vargas.”

  Hayden Vargas was spending the night at his house. Hayden would be under the same roof with him all night. Again. Yeah. Okay. He’d spent the night with her at her house, but that had been an accident.