His Best Man

by Elle Keaton

  “Has it been bad?”

  Alex rolled his eyes. “Duh. The teachers think they have it all under control and shit, but when they’re not around it’s back to calling me names and other stuff. Mom’s been picking me up from school every day.”

  “Jesus.”

  “And Morgan’s about to get suspended or expelled for fighting. I bet Mom sure is glad she has a fag for a son.” His voice was scary and bitter. Alex had been walking a fine line of self-hatred for a while.

  “I’m only gonna get suspended if those assholes don’t quit bullying you.”

  “Are you two twins?” Rod wasn’t trying to change the subject, but he couldn’t tell how old the two boys were. He tried to remember if his dad had ever said.

  “Nah, but we’re less than a year apart.” That was Morgan. “I’m the smart one, so I skipped a grade. People always think we’re twins. It’s fun to mess with people’s heads.” Alex punched his brother in the arm, hard.

  Meg and his dad had their hands full.

  Rod circled back to Alex’s comment about his mom being upset because Alex being gay caused her trouble. “Somehow I don’t think Meg is upset you’re gay. I’ve only just gotten to meet her, but one of the very first things she made clear to me is that my being gay was not a problem. I’m pretty sure I am way less important to her than you are. It’ll get better, I swear, and not every guy is an asshole like this guy in your class.”

  “Did you ever get bullied?”

  “No, but I wasn’t honest, either. Not really. I didn’t come out until college. In high school I had Travis around, so even if other kids suspected I was gay, Travis would have been the one doing the pounding.”

  The brothers snickered, and Rod realized what he’d just said. His cheeks heated in embarrassment. “It’s official. You two are a menace.”

  “So do we call you big brother now?”

  “I prefer Rod.”

  Meg and Will returned from their excessively long exploration of the backyard.

  “Who’s hungry?” Meg asked.

  They all were. The brothers sounded like they hadn’t eaten in days.

  They ended up at the Waterline. Rod shouldn’t have been surprised; it was the premier tourist dining experience in Skagit. He hadn’t been there before, mostly because when he and Travis were done with fire season they weren’t fit for family dining. And of course Travis had been on a mission to get laid as much as possible, but Rod didn’t want to think about that.

  The table was piled high with warm bread, steamed clams, and huge onion rings (fittingly, made from Walla Walla sweet onions) when Rod’s phone rang. He checked the number before answering. It wasn’t Travis.

  “Rod? This is Maureen James.”

  “Hi, Maureen. What’s up?” He knew it was something about Jasper; that would be the only reason she would call.

  “Well, Jasper and I were wondering if you would come by for a visit. He’s had a hard few days, and it would mean a lot to him.”

  Rod covered the mic. “Hey guys, a friend of mine is feeling down and wants to know if I can visit. Would you mind?”

  They didn’t, and Rod promised Maureen they would be there within the hour. In the meantime he told his family all about Jasper.

  “As far as I know, the police haven’t arrested anyone yet.”

  “That poor boy,” Meg and Will said at the same time. The brothers rolled their eyes in unison, which Rod thought was a pretty neat trick, but they also were willing to make a detour to Maureen James’s house.

  She actually didn’t live far from Rod and Travis. Once the brothers declared they couldn’t eat another bite and Will picked up the bill—Rod figured it had to cost the GNP of a small country to feed those kids—they piled in the silver minivan with Will driving.

  “What kind of car do you have?” Morgan asked.

  “A truck, but it was totaled in the accident, and since I couldn’t drive until recently, I haven’t replaced it yet.”

  “That sucks about your truck.”

  “Better the truck than him,” said Will. “Where am I headed?”

  Jasper was waiting for them on the front porch when they arrived. He looked so much better than he had when Rod had found him at the mall, but he still looked sad. Before Rod got all the way out of the van, Jasper was plastered to him. Maureen watched from the porch.

  “Hey, Jasper.” Rod knelt awkwardly so he was at Jasper’s level. “What’s going on?”

  “Nobody wants me.”

  “What do you mean? Let’s go up to the house, okay? We can talk better there. Jasper, these folks are my dad, Will; his wife, Meg; and her sons, Alex and Morgan.”

  Jasper looked at the group with Rod. “Why are they here?”

  “Well, they are visiting from out of town, but Maureen said it was important, so we all came to see you.”

  He stood slowly and offered Jasper his hand. For a second it seemed as if Jasper wouldn’t take it. When he did, his grasp was almost painfully tight. Rod guessed he had been having a lot of trouble lately.

  “Rod,” his dad called out, “we’re going to take a walk around the neighborhood. We’ll be back in a little while.”

  “Have fun.” Rod appreciated the effort his dad made to give Jasper privacy. Even nine-year-old boys needed it.

  Together they went and sat on Maureen’s porch. She had a porch swing that was perfect for sitting and thinking. Maureen came outside to sit with them, and Xena joined too, hopping up and squeezing in next to Jasper.

  “Where’s Kon?” It was rare for Kon to part from his dog, Rod had learned.

  “He’s at the Campbells’ overseeing something to do with the newest litter of puppies.”

  Rod set the swing moving just slightly, enough to give a body a little distraction.

  “The state has interceded and is now Jasper’s guardian,” Maureen said. “We found out this morning.”

  Rod knew from tidbits Jasper had let drop that there’d been hope of a grandparent, but it seemed now that was snuffed out. Nothing like crushed hope to make a person feel lower than they ever had before.

  “It’s not fair. I’ll be a good boy. Why don’t they want me?”

  Jasper was going to make him cry. No child should feel so alone and helpless. Xena scooted closer, laying her head on Jasper’s lap. He stroked it, probably without realizing what he was doing.

  “Tell me about your family. Why are they here?”

  Maureen stood and went inside. Rod kept the swing moving, thinking about his answer. “Well, funny, but I haven’t seen my dad in a long time. Almost since before you were a super-little kid.”

  “Did you make your dad mad?”

  “No. But we didn’t know each other very well.”

  “And now you do?”

  “We’re getting to know each other.”

  “Like you and me,” Jasper stated.

  “Just like us.”

  “Do they know about Phabian Frog and Todd Toad?” Jasper asked with great suspicion.

  Rod laughed. “No, that’s a special thing just between you and me these days.”

  Rod didn’t think he would be going back to bus driving. Or maybe he would, but he was going to need to do something else; a part-time job wasn’t going to pay the bills. His firefighting days were likely over. Fighting fires with a piece of metal in his leg did not sound like a great idea. Plus he was still recovering the strength and muscle mass he’d lost after the accident.

  They sat and talked until Rod’s dad and his family returned from their walk around the neighborhood. Alex and Morgan waited by the car while Will and Meg came to say hello.

  “Hi Rod, I’m Meg. You must be Jasper.” Jasper nodded. Rod thought he might not say anything—Maureen said he was having trouble with strangers—but Jasper surprised him.

  “Yes, are those your kids?” Jasper was looking past Meg and Will to where Alex and Morgan were waiting. Meg followed his gaze.

  “Yes, Alex and Morgan. Would you like to meet th
em?”

  Jasper leaned hard into Rod, who automatically put his arm around Jasper’s shoulders.

  The boys were leaning against the minivan trying to look cool and failing in a way only teenage boys can.

  “They look tough, but I think they are actually pretty nice,” Rod said.

  “Not today.” But Jasper watched them shoving each other playfully and laughing with hungry eyes, taking in everything.

  On the way home, Meg turned around in the passenger seat, focusing her attention on Rod. “I know this is probably out of line, but I’ve never been one for rules anyway—”

  “Meg,” Will said as he drove, his tone half warning, half hoping to stop whatever she was going to say.

  She ignored him. “Have you and Travis considered fostering or adoption? That little boy is clearly very attached to you, and you to him.”

  Alex, who was sitting between Rod and Morgan, spoke up. “Yeah, you should.”

  Rod glanced in the rearview mirror and caught his dad watching the exchange, a quiet smile on his face. He gave a small nod, and Rod had to look out the side window and pretend the passing scenery was really interesting. Fostering or even adopting Jasper had been on his mind, but he wasn’t sure how Travis would feel about it, and it seemed really soon for them to be thinking about bringing a child—a nearly nine-year-old traumatized boy—into their house.

  He turned back. Meg was still waiting for a reply. “It seems soon, I guess.”

  Meg nodded and turned back around. “That’s true; there can be times that aren’t the best for whatever reason, but I don’t think you always can pick when the ‘right’ time is. Think about it, and maybe make a few phone calls. I imagine the process is reasonably streamlined, and we all know how many kids in foster care need placement.”

  Rod looked out the window again. Meg’s words were too much and not enough. Every time he had lunch or dinner with Jasper or took him to the park around the corner from Maureen’s, he thought about adoption. It was hard for him to leave, and while Jasper didn’t cry, Rod knew it was hard for him too. Maureen was a great foster parent, and she seemed to specialize in difficult cases, but Jasper needed a permanent home.

  “We think you would be good at it. Jasper seemed pretty cool, even if he is nine.” That was Morgan.

  “You didn’t actually meet him.” Rod looked over at his step-brother. Morgan shrugged the timeless shrug of a teenager.

  The rest of the short trip back to the house was quiet. As they all got out of the car, Will caught his elbow, holding him back for a minute. Meg and the boys headed to the porch.

  “For what it’s worth, I support you no matter what you decide. I agree with Meg and the boys, though. Jasper, or any child, would thrive in your care.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  Rod’s dad and family stayed in Skagit for a few more days. The activity wore Rod out more than he was willing to admit. Each day he slumped into bed exhausted from entertaining and exploring what seemed like most of western Washington. Travis was a trouper, and even Michael joined them for dinner the last evening. He was still in town dealing with the police and lawyers. Lenore didn’t want anything to do with any of them, not even her husband of nearly thirty years.

  Every spare minute, between all the other things going on, he thought about Jasper, about fostering, about how to bring the subject up with Travis. In his heart of hearts Rod knew Travis would be onboard, but kids—their own or an adopted or fostered kid—would be a huge change, and they had barely been together as a couple for a few months.

  He reminded himself he’d known Travis for almost twenty years. Travis was a generous, caring person who went out of his way to help others. Wasn’t that how they’d become friends in the first place?

  The Monday after his dad left, Rod made a few phone calls. Just to see. Hours later he was still on his phone and laptop (at the same time), asking and answering questions and filling out forms.

  Just in case. Just in case Travis agreed.

  Tuesday he talked to Gloria about fostering or adopting Jasper. Now that the state was Jasper’s legal guardian, Rod felt like the time to act was sooner rather than later. He had waking and sleeping nightmares about Jasper being placed in a faceless, soulless home where he was mistreated and neglected. Where there would be no stories.

  “Sweetie, you need to quit second-guessing yourself. Your Travis is a man made for family. You need to quit overthinking things.”

  Ha, Rod thought, he had a gold medal in overthinking. He was practically an Olympic champion.

  “It seems to me that Travis is nothing if not honest. If he thinks the timing is wrong or—and I have a hard time imagining this—he doesn’t want children, he will tell you. And then you can talk about it.”

  “It’s hard to argue against that logic.”

  “Of course it is,” Gloria replied.

  Rod planned on bringing the subject up with Travis that evening, but he and Michael were busy dealing with the legal ramifications of what Lenore had done. The last thing Rod wanted to do was add to Travis’s stress, and since Michael was heading back east of the Cascades the next morning, he figured it could wait.

  Wednesday morning he was going to talk to Travis, but one thing led to another, and the next thing he knew they were both hot and sweaty and Rod couldn’t form words, much less a compelling argument as to why they should open their household to a traumatized kid.

  Travis pressed him into the mattress with his body weight and kissed him again, running his tongue along the line of Rod’s jaw one more time before sucking on his lower lip. Rod had already come, but he still felt a spark of desire along his spine. If they had time, he would definitely be up for more.

  “I gotta take a shower,” he grumbled.

  “We could take a shower together.” Travis waggled his eyebrows.

  “I do actually have to be at the doctor’s in,” he looked at the digital clock on his side of the bed, “shit, an hour, and I don’t think a shower with you will fit in that time span.”

  Travis stuck his lower lip out, but his clear blue eyes were smiling. “Fine. You go first.”

  He still barely made it to his appointment on time.

  20

  Travis had to blink away tears, the small sheet of paper he held in his hand going blurry.

  You asked me to be the best man at your wedding, and I said I would. I will.

  There’s something I should have told you much earlier. Obviously now it doesn’t matter… but you are more to me than my best friend. I know now, for certain, that you don’t feel the same way.

  I get it, I do.

  But I’m going to need time to sort myself out. I hope you understand.

  Sorry to leave without saying goodbye.

  Your best man, always,

  Rod

  There was a throat-clearing sound. Travis looked up from the note. The clerk behind the counter pushed his glasses up his nose and raised his dark eyebrows, waiting for Travis to decide if the price he was offering for the game was right.

  Travis was at loose ends. His dad had left for home again, and Rod was at his final doctor’s appointment and then his standing lunch date with Gloria and Jasper. Trav had decided to finally put up the gaming system in the living room. With everything going on and the fact that once Travis and Rod went to bed at night neither one of them was thinking about playing video games, those last few boxes had been shoved against the living room wall and abandoned. As he’d stared at the games, he’d realized a fact about living with Rod: they didn’t need two of everything.

  So he’d done a little research and found a place that bought used games. Instead of unpacking anything, he’d just taken the whole box of his games. The clerk had been going through each one checking for scratches and that the title matched the box. When he’d opened the one now in Travis’s hand, both of them had been surprised to see a piece of notebook paper folded inside the case.

  A note from Rod seven months ago was not what he’d
been expecting when he unfolded it.

  The words were hastily written, and there was something at the end that Rod had scribbled out.

  “Hey, you want to sell these or what?”

  “Uh, yeah. Thanks.”

  Travis exited the shop feeling oddly light-headed. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t found the note months ago. The June sunlight seemed brighter than it had when he went into the store. He laughed. It probably was brighter, as it was around noon, but it felt brighter to his soul.

  The shop was located in a part of town that mixed residential, retail, and semi-industrial. A holdover from when Skagit zoning was a little wacky. Many small businesses had opened up in what were originally single-family homes.

  Next to the DiscMan (Travis thought the name was very clever) was a shop called Otto’s Erotica. Travis was debating going in and browsing for something a little kinky—he loved it when Rod blushed—when the front door burst open and someone took the stairs at a leap. He—it was a he, that’s about all Travis saw—landed on the sidewalk, glanced at Travis, and raced off in the other direction.

  The door to the sex shop swung shut with a bang. And then there was silence. Travis didn’t hesitate; he ran up the steps and inside.

  “Hello? Anyone here?” At first he thought there was no answer; then he heard a faint groan. Behind the front counter a man was half lying, half sitting on the floor. The cash drawer was open but looked empty.

  “Have you been robbed? Are you okay?” Travis asked as he came around the counter. The man peered at him from under a tangle of dark hair.

  “Are you here to rescue me?”

  There was a lump forming on his forehead, and his cheek was scraped.

  “Did that guy hit you?”

  “Who are you?” The other man struggled to his feet. The top of his head came up to about Travis’s shoulder.

  “Travis Walker, you?”

  “I’m Otto, I own this place. And no, he didn’t hit me. He pushed me down, and I hit my head on the counter. He did take all the cash I had, though. Too bad for him that most people don’t carry cash these da— Hey, what are you doing?”