Trust Me, I Hate You

by Romeo Alexander

  Aidan chuckled. “Yeah. They never really stuck me anywhere and kept me there like a lot of guys on deployment. Kind of threw me around where they needed me, it shook things up a bit.”

  Sean frowned. “Even if they put us all over the place to work, we almost always had the same base to go back to.”

  Aidan leaned forward, eyes on the fire. “Never really appealed to me honestly. I always liked the idea of roaming around, not being stuck in one place for too long, you know?”

  “I’d be lying if I said I did,” Sean admitted.

  Aidan chuckled, cocking his head toward Sean. “Fair enough. Anyone I ever told that to always gave me the most confused look. I don’t understand it myself, but I’ve always been like that.”

  “But not now,” Sean said.

  There had been a notable gap in Aidan’s file, namely the part about why he had suddenly been taken from such erratic placement to being thrown onto a team. By all accounts, despite a few remarks made about Aidan’s mouth, there should have been no reason for his reassignment.

  Aidan’s mouth twisted into a mockery of a smile. “Nope.”

  “Not going to say why?”

  “Not my choice.”

  “Is that why you gave me so much shit before?”

  Aidan turned to look at him, snorting. “Maybe. And maybe because you can be an asshole.”

  It should have pissed him off, it would have before, but Sean found he couldn’t muster any anger at Aidan’s jab. He had no idea how it had happened, but whatever they’d done in that shadowy alley a few dozen feet from the crowds of the city, had taken the wind from his stubborn, angry sails.

  “Yeah, tell me something I don't know,” Sean grunted.

  Aidan nodded. “Okay. Well, an asshole is something you don’t have to be.”

  It wasn’t said in anger or frustration, and as Sean looked up, he was amazed to find Aidan completely serious. It was almost the same earnest expression he’d seen on the man’s face when he’d sworn up and down that he would never use what happened between them against Sean. The very same expression that had made Sean believe him then, and he supposed, he would have to believe him now.

  How much of their problem before had been Sean simply fighting the inevitable?

  12

  Aidan

  Watching the other man mull over their conversation was fascinating. When Sean wasn’t too busy being angry and glaring as though it were the only expression he knew how to make, he had a tendency to wear his emotions on his sleeves. Aidan could see him struggling with confusion, and what looked like guilt, and he hadn’t missed the flash of what he would have sworn was hunger.

  Aidan cleared his throat. “So, you think we can be good?”

  He would take just about anything at this point if he were honest. Anything other than what they had been. There’d been too much anger, too much venom, and spite. Looking back on it, Aidan was surprised it hadn’t driven a wedge between not just them, but the entire team as well. As it was, they’d managed not to ruin everything, and inexplicably found something they had in common.

  Though maybe not what either of them had been expecting.

  Sean chuckled, nodding his head. “Truth is, Aidan, I can’t be pissed at you anymore.”

  “Because we’ve worked through our issues in a healthy manner that would make any therapist proud, or because we uh…” Aidan trailed off.

  And there it was again, a flash of guilt and lust, all mingling into one. “I don’t think we could call that a healthy thing.”

  “But fun,” Aidan said, now watching Sean’s face intensely.

  Sean glanced sidelong at him. “Aidan.”

  “Incredibly fun even.”

  Sean narrowed his eyes. “Is this you trying to poke the bear again?”

  “Not really into bears. This might shock you, but I actually like men in uniform more.”

  Sean stared at him before covering his mouth suddenly as he gave an ugly snort. “Jesus, you’re ridiculous.”

  Aidan grinned, more at getting Sean to laugh at him than at his own joke. “I know, it’s so bizarre that I’m single.”

  “Not really.”

  Aidan winked. “I have my charms.”

  As he watched, Sean’s eyes raked over his body. “A few.”

  Aidan glanced at the rest of the team, who appeared to be still sleeping. No doubt they would wake up at the first call, or the oddest of noises. His heart hammered as he dared himself to follow through on the curling warmth settling in his gut after seeing Sean’s bright eyes practically strip him naked.

  Aidan raised a brow, speaking softly. “Want me to show you a few more?”

  Unsurprisingly, Sean’s eyes widened. “What?”

  He smirked. “You didn’t get to see every trick I’ve got.”

  “That...this is not an appropriate time,” Sean sputtered, looking at the sleeping team.

  “I’m noticing that’s not a no.”

  Aidan took that to mean that not only was Sean still very much interested in whatever he was offering but had listened to him the other day. Knowing that Sean had heard him, and believed him finally about something, especially something so important, was the final deciding factor for Aidan.

  Chuckling, Aidan pushed up from the log, reaching down to take hold of Sean’s arm and tug him to his feet. Sean hesitated, and Aidan waited patiently to see what the other man would do. He watched the war of emotions on Sean’s face before, with a wince, Sean pushed himself to his feet and let Aidan pull him toward the entrance of the alcove and out into the woods.

  “Aidan,” Sean began with a nervous look back toward the camp.

  Aidan pushed the man’s back against a tree, out of sight of their team. “Don’t make too much noise, and we’ll be fine.”

  His heart was pounding as he leaned in, kissing Sean hard. It wasn’t as ferocious as the kiss in the alley, but it was enough to shut Sean up immediately. As Aidan let his hands drift down the front of Sean’s pants, he chuckled as he felt that it had been enough to get the other man’s attention in more ways than one. Sean groaned softly at the touch, pushing his now straining cock against Aidan’s hand.

  They didn’t have time for foreplay, and Aidan didn’t waste any time in dropping to his knees in front of Sean. As he worked at undoing the man’s pants and pulling them apart, he looked up into Sean’s face. The other man’s bright eyes were wide, in both surprise and undisguised lust. Aidan smirked, reaching into Sean’s underwear and carefully extracting his thick cock.

  Men were such suckers for someone dropping to their knees in front of them.

  He had to take his eyes off Sean as he leaned forward to take him into his mouth. That worked for him as he heard the soft groan of pleasure from the other man, and felt Sean’s hand cup the back of his head. The taste of Sean’s pre-cum slid over Aidan’s tongue as he bowed his head forward, quickly taking Sean as deep as he possibly could.

  Taking Sean’s full length was out of the question, Aidan was proud of his talents, but he knew his limits. The sensation of Sean’s cock filling his mouth and down into his throat had him straining in his pants, painfully so. Sliding back, Aidan wasted no time in pushing himself forward again, taking as much of Sean’s cock down to squeeze with his throat muscles before coming back to repeat it all over.

  He could feel Sean squirming against the tree, his breathing coming in sharp gasps and little moans. Aidan loved a man who found it impossible to be completely silent, and the desperate noises Sean made had him aching. Fishing his cock from his pants, Aidan wrapped his hand around his shaft and began stroking, keeping in time with the pace of his mouth on Sean’s cock.

  “Aidan,” Sean hissed, his fingers curling to grip hard to Aidan’s hat.

  Aidan hummed, continuing his rhythm without missing a beat as he felt Sean’s cock grow harder against his tongue. Sean gave a low, pitiful moan, and his cock jumped in Aidan’s mouth. Warmth flooded Aidan’s tongue and down into his throat as Sean came har
d. Sean’s grip grew fierce as Aidan came, his own moan vibrating along the thick shaft in his mouth. Ecstasy washed over Aidan as he spurted onto the ground beneath him, torn between his physical pleasure and the feel of Sean’s pulsing cock in his mouth.

  Chuckling to himself, Aidan pushed himself to his feet, stuffing his softening cock back into his pants. Sean was doing the same, and unlike the last time, he was watching Aidan’s face intently.

  “You’re ridiculous,” Sean said between breaths.

  Aidan leaned in, kissing Sean. “Yeah, but that’s part of my charm.”

  Sean blinked, a look of amazement crossing his face. “Aidan…”

  Aidan grinned, reaching down to pat Sean’s hip. “Don’t think too hard about it, Staff Sergeant. I’ll take the next watch.”

  As he walked away, he heard Sean’s grumble. “Thinking about it will make me hard.”

  Aidan grinned, settling himself on the fallen tree, altogether too pleased with himself.

  “The wind is getting worse,” Sean noted, calling over his shoulder to Aidan.

  Aidan nodded. “We’re coming around the other side of the mountain now, bound to happen.”

  The trail he’d thought was safe for them to traverse had begun to narrow the further they’d walked. It had shrunk to the point where they were forced to walk in single file, with Sean taking the lead. From what Aidan could see, however, the trail, treacherous as it was becoming, eventually looped down to the base of the mountain. They only needed to endure the next couple of hours on the mountain path, and they would be in the clear.

  Sean glanced back at him. “This might add an extra day to our trip.”

  “It could. But I want off this mountain before night comes.”

  “Agreed.”

  It was a completely normal conversation, without so much as a hint of their former animosity. The night before had been completely uneventful after the quick, hidden blowjob in the trees. To Aidan’s surprise, Sean hadn’t been awkward or weird the next morning, carrying on a normal conversation with the team and even Aidan as they had dug into their morning rations. What had surprised him completely was the quick wink Sean shot him as they prepared to head out, and the rest of the team wasn’t paying attention.

  Of all the outcomes Aidan might have predicted when it came to him and Sean, a sudden peace followed by the possibility of...who the hell knew what else, was not one he would have guessed. For all his understanding of human nature and psychology, he wouldn’t pretend to be all-knowing, and when it came down to it, people were weird.

  It wasn’t just the frantic fuck in the alley, though that was certainly what Aidan considered to be the beginning of the entire shift in their relationship. Whether it had been a catharsis to the pent up aggression they’d been denied expressing toward one another or the flick of a switch in their heads from the sudden explosion of passion, he wasn’t sure. But it had been more than that, and he knew it.

  There were little moments that had followed. The moments of respect, and idle conversation, and as Aidan recalled fondly, the moment he managed to make Sean laugh. The whole team had been laughing a lot more than when he’d first joined, and maybe that had something to do with the change in Sean. Aidan still wasn’t sure what was going on between the two of them, and he was sure they’d have time to figure it out when they were back in Fort Dale. For now, though, he could comfort himself with the hope that maybe, just maybe, they were all starting to come together as a team and would be okay.

  And then he slipped.

  He’d warned Sean about the treachery of the path, but drifting off into his thoughts, Aidan had forgotten to watch his own steps. The wind blew snow all around them, making it harder to see than the all-white environment already did. Aidan’s foot came down too close to the edge of the path they were walking, and it crumbled under his weight.

  Aidan flailed, pinwheeling his arms as both gravity and the wind worked to take him down over the edge. Time slowed as he pitched to the side, looking down into the abyss that looked to be as much snow as it was brutally hard rock.

  “Aidan!”

  A strong grip took hold of him and yanked him back so hard that his shoulder joint screamed in protest. He was prevented from plummeting down into the snowy abyss as Sean used his weight to tear him back. Aidan watched in horror as Sean let him go once he saw Aidan was safe, and his momentum carried him over the edge instead.

  “Fuck!” Aidan barked, scrambling forward on the ledge as the rest of the team cried out in horror and fear.

  Aidan crawled to the edge, all too aware that he still needed to be careful. His heart pounded, mind screaming that Sean would still be there. Their team leader would be hanging on some outcropping of rock, some sturdy root sticking out of the side, anything at all.

  There was nothing but the rock and snow he’d seen before, obscured by the snow caught in the howling wind.

  “Oh shit, Sean,” Aidan said, staring down.

  Why had he done that? Why had he done something so stupid? There could have been any number of ways to save Aidan from his fall, that didn’t involve a panicked grab and throw on an already dangerous surface. His mind raced, trying desperately to make sense of what had happened, and demanding to know why Sean had been so impulsive, so stupid.

  And hating himself for not being more careful.

  From behind him, he heard the sounds of the team. It took a moment, pulling himself from his terrified thoughts, to realize they were arguing, almost fighting.

  “I don’t give a shit, Matt, we are getting down there,” Ricardo was snarling.

  “We have no idea where he landed, and in case you didn’t realize, we don’t have any rope. Fuck, we have nothing we can use for climbing gear,” Matt shot back, gloved hands in fists at his side.

  “We could fashion a rope,” Nick said, looking around wildly.

  “Out of what? Ice? Maybe a few frozen rocks?” Matt demanded.

  “So what, we leave him down there? Like fucking hell. If you want to hide up here instead of finding our goddamn friend, that’s on you,” Ricardo shouted back.

  Aidan watched them, still a little dazed and confused as the three team members dissolved into a deepening argument, growing more and more furious with each passing second. At the back of his head, he could see Sean’s stern expression, masking the worry as he watched the team fall apart before his eyes. The three men seemed ready to come to blows on the side of this snow blown mountain, and Aidan closed his eyes, pushing away the panicky voice of terror clawing at his chest.

  Aidan pushed himself up. “Enough!”

  Ricardo turned to him. “Don’t you…”

  Aidan cut him off. “Our team leader is out of commission at the moment.”

  “He’s just…” Nick began.

  “Out of commission.”

  “He’s not dead!” Ricardo snarled.

  “I didn’t say that, but whatever his actual status, as far as we’re concerned at the moment, he’s out of commission. We’re not going to fall the fuck apart because of this. You guys have been through some shit before, don’t let this be what undoes you,” Aidan said, having to shout over the wind.

  “That’s our brother!” Nick called back, voice cracking.

  “And he would tell you to get your shit together and focus on the problem at hand. We don’t have the means to get down to him from here, and Matt’s right, we don’t have anything to use that will make do. This storm would kill us if we tried anyway.”

  “So what, we...leave him?” Ricardo demanded, shoulders sagging.

  Aidan shook his head. “We don’t leave anyone behind, not if we can help it. But we’re no good to him as we are. The motherfucker’s head is harder than any rock around here, and he’s not going down that easily. But if all we do is stand around and fight, or get ourselves killed doing something stupid, what the fuck good are we to him?”

  The three men averted their eyes, looking down at the ground as the wind howled around them. Aidan se
nt up a silent prayer, hoping he was getting through to them, wanting them to listen. He wasn’t even sure if he was right about Sean, but damn it all, he needed to get his team together.

  Ricardo was the first to look up, straightening. “Orders?”

  Aidan hid his relief, jerking his head toward the path. “We get off this mountain. Once we’re down, we loop back around through the forest below, and we find his ass.”

  He could only hope Sean had fallen somewhere that left him battered and bruised, and not dead.

  Ricardo nodded, and the other two followed suit. Without another word, Aidan turned to continue down the path, glancing back only to make sure everyone was keeping pace with him. He had to lead them off the dangerous path, and maybe, just maybe, they could find Sean somewhere below them.

  “Please, Sean, hang in there. Don’t you fucking die on us,” Aidan muttered into the wind as they descended through the storm.

  13

  Sean

  The first thing he became aware of was the silence. Groaning, he tried to roll onto his back and gasped as a searing lance of pain shot up his left side. Clutching himself, he flopped back to the ground, shivering frantically. Now among the pain, came the deep, unsettling feeling of the cold as it worked its way into his body.

  He remembered now. They’d been walking, making their way to the rendezvous point, and had been making good time. Sean had been a little impressed by how well Aidan had been able to navigate, despite having so little experience in the frozen climate. The intel agent had warned them about the treacherous nature of the path they were walking, wary of the plummet to the frozen, rocky ground below.

  Then the ground had given out, and Sean had reacted.

  Carefully, he pushed himself up, wincing as his side ached and flared with a constant pulse of pain. Looking around, eyes adjusting to the dark, he realized he was in a cave of some sort, heavy, dense stone on all sides. The only light was coming from a crack in the ceiling above. Sean peered at it curiously, measuring both how far above him it was, and noticing it was just about wide enough for someone of his size to fit.