“Doesn’t stop us from using their nice heated tent in the meantime, though,” Ricardo pointed out.
Aidan pulled at the clasps on his bag, dropping it to the ground. “Yeah. Don’t need this anymore.”
Sean watched him march off. “Where the hell are you going?”
“Call of nature! Why, you wanna watch?”
“Go fuck yourself, Sergeant.”
“That’s what you wanna watch? Kinky.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Sean grumbled, turning away before Aidan could see his smirk.
Pushing his way into the tent, Sean let out a low sigh of relief as the warmth trapped by the tent’s thick canvas surrounded him. He struggled with the straps of his backpack but managed to dislodge it and let it fall to the floor. The tent was equipped with bunk beds for the two soldiers who had been housed in it, along with a few pieces of equipment, including a small TV plugged into a power strip. From somewhere behind the tent came the low hum of what Sean assumed was the generator.
Flopping gracelessly into one of the few folding chairs, Sean let out another groan. “Thank Christ that’s over.”
Ricardo sat down opposite him after removing his own equipment. Instead of the expected look of relief, there was a quiet, thoughtful expression on his friend’s face. Sean looked closer, raising a brow as he realized that Ricardo was gearing up to say something.
“What?” Sean finally said, not liking the silence.
“What’s going on with you two?” Ricardo asked.
Sean blinked. “What?”
“You and Aidan.”
Oh.
Sean shrugged. “I guess after you save each other’s ass, you stop worrying about how much the other person drives you nuts. He’s still a pain in the ass, that hasn’t changed.”
“Yeah, but ever since he found you, you two have been different.”
“We talked. We got over it,” Sean said, not wanting to get into his weird dream.
“And now you’re finding him funny.”
“It’s either that or try to kill him every time he makes some stupid joke.”
Ricardo cocked his head. “Wanted to ask you something.”
Sean wasn’t sure if he really wanted to hear whatever was about to come out of Ricardo’s mouth. The man looked way too damn serious about whatever he was thinking, when the two of them should be relieved they got through the past week in one piece. That and he knew damn well that Ricardo was probably the most observant person Sean had ever dealt with, even more than Clint had been.
Sean sighed. “What?”
“What happened with you guys the other day?”
Sean hesitated. “What? You’ve been with us the whole time, except for when I...got my ass handed to me by a mountain.”
Ricardo frowned. “Except the night we camped, and you two disappeared on your watch.”
Sean’s eyes widened. “We didn’t leave you guys!”
“Not what I’m saying. There’s no way either of you would have left the three of us sleeping without being nearby. But you two had been bickering the whole day, and then suddenly, you’re both gone for a little bit?”
“And?” Sean asked defensively.
“And you came back quiet.”
“You were all sleeping.”
“You were still bickering before that. And then there’s how you two were acting before we headed out here.”
Sean blinked. “I...were we?”
“Sean.”
Ricardo hadn’t exactly called him out, but there was no denying he knew something was going on. Sean sighed, looking down at his lap and shrugging.
“I don’t know how to answer your questions,” he admitted.
“You’ve been fucking,” Ricardo said bluntly.
Sean’s head snapped up. “Jesus, Ricardo.”
“Well?”
Sean groaned. “Yes. Fine. Happy?”
Ricardo raised a brow. “I don’t know...are you?”
It was not the question he’d been expecting, and Sean could only mouth silently as he tried to find the answer. Had he been happy? No, definitely not, he didn’t know the last time he’d really been happy. His times with Aidan had been...what, relief? Catharsis? Was it fair to say that about Aidan, especially since neither of them knew what lay ahead of them?
“Things are...different now, I guess? It’s hard to see what happened as just like...screwing when now it’s like…” Sean began, unsure of how to continue.
“You saving his ass and then him saving yours?”
“You guys were there too,” Sean pointed out.
“And he was the one who kept us focused, kept us calm, and got us to where you were. You know that, and you know that makes all the difference.”
Sean nodded. “It does.”
“Question is, how does that change whatever you guys were doing behind the scenes?”
Sean closed his eyes, not sure how to answer. Yes, he was and obviously had always been drawn to Aidan from the start. That was apparent from how easily, if a little violently, they had clashed in that alley the first time. But it had been so wrapped up in their intense dislike of one another, Sean wasn’t sure what was there, waiting for them, now that they were learning to coexist side by side, and hell, not just exist, but enjoy it.
Ricardo settled back, smiling faintly. “I think you should start trying to figure it out, Sean. No matter what you two...work out. Just do it. This team needs you both.”
16
Aidan
Standing outside Sean’s apartment door, Aidan raised his hand to knock, only to hesitate and draw it back for what felt like the twentieth time. The door to Sean’s apartment felt as though it were glaring down at him in judgment. He’d been standing outside of the man’s door for a solid ten minutes, trying to decide if he should knock and disturb the man’s peace, or walk away and let Sean come to him.
He might not have come over at all if it weren’t for the random text from Ricardo while he’d been staying in the barracks. Aidan had been debating back and forth with himself if he should be the one to contact Sean first or wait for his team leader to approach him. Before he’d come to any real conclusion, his phone had gone off with a message from Ricardo. There was only an address, nothing else, and though Aidan had tried to prompt Ricardo to say something more, the man had remained completely silent.
Aidan still wasn’t sure what to think about that. Ricardo had been pretty quiet, even for him, since they’d returned from the Canadian wilderness a couple of days earlier. Aidan might have thought there was something wrong with himself, but when the team had met for lunch the previous day, even Sean had made a comment about how quiet Ricardo had been lately. Aidan could only assume it didn’t have something to do with him specifically, and considering the contents of the man’s message to him, Aidan had to guess.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Aidan grunted, annoyed with his indecision.
The doorknob jiggled, and the door flew open with a sudden jerk. Sean glared out at him for a moment before recognition softened his features.
“Aidan? The hell are you doing?” Sean asked, glancing around.
Aidan looked around, cringing inwardly. “Coming to see you?”
“Jesus. I heard someone talking out here, and I thought it was the idiots next door.”
Aidan looked to the next door. “Them?”
“They get confused every time they go out and get drunk. So they like to try to use their key in my door, and argue like drunken morons every time it happens.”
Aidan pulled his phone out, frowning at the display. “It’s 8 pm.”
“Yeah, welcome to my life.”
Aidan chuckled. “The thrills of living on base.”
Sean grunted, stepping away from the door. “Come on in. The less time you stand out there, the better.”
Aidan did as he was told, stepping through the door and closing it behind him. He couldn’t help looking around and wasn’t too surprised to find the place wasn’
t all that well furnished. The living room to his right had a couch and a chair, along with a TV set on top of a cheap-looking entertainment system. The dining room to his left had a table and chairs, but there were no additional decorations, no personal touches, and the dining set looked like it had been picked up from a local department store. Still, it was far better than what he had back in the barracks, so he wasn’t going to cast stones.
“Not interrupting, am I?” Aidan asked.
Sean snorted, stepping out of sight, moving from the dining room into what looked like the kitchen. “No. I’ve been sitting around doing absolutely nothing.”
“How’s the ankle?”
“About as good as it was when you asked earlier.”
“Right.”
Sean reappeared, holding out an opened beer. “Here. I don’t have much to offer, but I do have this.”
“Ah, a true gentleman,” Aidan said, accepting the ice-cold bottle with a grin.
“Don’t let it be said I don’t know how to be a proper host,” Sean said as he walked into the living room.
Aidan followed him, taking a moment before deciding to sit on the opposite end of the couch as Sean sat himself down. He’d thought the hardest part would be to knock on Sean’s door, but as they settled on the couch, Aidan realized he actually had no idea what he was supposed to say. He’d agreed with Sean when the man told him they couldn’t discuss things until they’d come back, and now Aidan didn’t know where to start.
Sean glanced at him, raising a brow. “I figure I know already, but...how did you know what apartment I was in?”
Aidan snorted, tapping the pocket where his phone sat. “Ricardo texted me it.”
“He gave you my address?”
“Without my asking, I might add.”
Sean snorted. “Jesus. He wasn’t fucking around.”
Aidan raised his brow in return. “What’s that mean?”
Sean sighed. “Before we got back, when we were still waiting on our ride back to the base, he talked to me. Wasn’t much, he’s not exactly a wordy person. But he pretty much let me know he knew there was something going on between you and me when I thought we were keeping it pretty low key.”
“Yeah, until I got that text message, I didn’t think anyone else noticed.”
“Well he did, and he told me you and I needed to figure shit out, because the team needed to be whole, and needed us.”
That was vague enough to make Aidan wonder exactly what Ricardo could have meant. Did he mean that whatever Aidan and Sean had been up to needed to stop so the team could function? Or did he mean that they needed to find some sort of resolution that would leave them both happy and clear-headed?
“I’m guessing he didn’t tell you what that was supposed to mean,” Aidan guessed.
Sean shook his head. “I think he was leaving that up to us.”
Which was fair, but it still left Aidan wondering what the hell they were supposed to do. He and Sean had only recently learned to get along, and maybe even like one another a little bit. What the hell was he supposed to do with everything else?
Was he attracted to Sean? Absolutely, there was no denying it, especially considering they’d had some fun…twice. But what did that mean now? Before, sure, he could have passed it off as nothing more than a bit of fun, maybe blowing off some steam to deal with their emotions toward one another, while still being attracted. But, didn’t everything change the minute they decided they could stand one another?
And didn’t it mean something, that they could actually like one another?
“I guess that means we should probably figure out what that means for us, huh?” Aidan finally asked after a stretch of silence.
Sean looked up, eyes distant. “Been thinking a lot about it since we got back.”
Aidan’s heart skipped a beat. “Yeah?”
“And I don’t know the answer.”
Aidan couldn’t help his sigh. “Yeah, neither do I.”
Was it just sexual attraction, or was there a chance for more? He could already acknowledge that the two of them were obviously physically into one another, that much had been made plain to the both of them. But was there a chance there could be something more between them? Did Aidan even want that?
Then again, he couldn’t deny that there was something different about Sean, and perhaps always had been. Who else had managed to get under Aidan’s skin in the same way as Sean, and he suspected he’d had the same effect on his team leader. Despite their differences, Sean had risked his life to save Aidan and had trusted him with leading the team. And when it came down to it, Aidan had opened up and told Sean the story behind why he’d been thrown to the wolves after dealing with Jason.
So what did that mean?
Sean searched his face, chuckling. “I think you’re probably wondering the same thing I am right now.”
“Is there anything we can work with, or is it just fucking,” Aidan said.
Sean nodded. “I guess we haven’t really had a chance to figure it out.”
It was strange. The two of them knew each other better than two people who had gone on several dates, but he still couldn’t say if that meant anything or not. They were teammates, and finally, teammates who could work with one another, trust one another. But would that really translate to more?
Aidan laughed softly. “Would it be weird if I admitted that I don’t know how to go about figuring it out?”
Sean looked down at his beer bottle, shrugging. “I might have an idea.”
Aidan cocked his head. “What’s that?”
Sean took a deep breath, eyeing his beer before finally setting it on the table in front of the couch. Aidan watched him, curious and then a little startled as Sean drew closer, his hand coming to rest on Aidan’s thigh. For a moment, Aidan was distracted by the warm grip of Sean’s hand on his leg, before he realized that Sean’s face was coming closer to his.
Oh, shit.
Aidan’s breath caught as he realized what Sean was about to do, his heart beating wildly. Without thinking, he too set his beer aside, almost knocking it over in his haste to put it down. Before he could second guess himself, Aidan reached out hastily, taking hold of the back of Sean’s head as the man came in even closer.
It wasn’t the first time they’d kissed, though Aidan supposed a second time worked just as well. And like the first time, a fire lit in his gut, spreading through his limbs and sparking out in waves of electricity. His gut tightened as he felt Sean’s body settle against his, strong and sure of himself, and the other man reached out to cup the back of Aidan’s neck.
Whimpering slightly, Aidan parted his lips, letting Sean’s tongue slide over his, tasting him. Aidan pushed back against the other man, not quite ready to be buried beneath him, but craving the sensation of his body against his, hard and ready. There was as much desire as the first desperate kiss in the alley, but without the clumsy, blind desire to rut and fuck, fueled by conflicting emotions and lust.
There was passion, though, a heat that was shared from one body to another as they pushed against one another. Sean’s fingers curled against the muscles of his neck, pulling him closer, both demanding and requesting permission. Aidan used his own grip to pull the man down, laying against the arm of the couch and thrilling at the press of Sean’s body against his.
Aidan had known several partners in his life, and he hadn’t exactly gone without kissing most of them. Yet he could easily say that none of them had kissed him with the same hunger and heat, that was also tempered by something else, something measured and gentle. Where the hell Sean had been hiding this kiss, Aidan didn’t know, but he did know that he wasn’t going to let it slip away from him.
Sean broke the kiss, slowly backing away from Aidan as he panted. There was no missing the heat and burning desire in Sean’s eyes, but there were wonder and surprise as well. Aidan didn’t think either of them had been expecting the first kiss, since they’d made peace with each other, to be as good as it was. Deep
down, Aidan thought that maybe the passion and desire between them might have been a product of the mutual hate, as though that heated emotion had been what had dragged their shared desire along for the ride.
Aidan let out a long, slow breath. “I think...I might have got my answer there.”
Sean snorted, bowing his head. “Yeah?”
Was there enough there for them to make a future? Hell if Aidan knew. It was a good enough start in his mind that the two of them could not only like each other’s company but could still manage the same level of heat and desire for one another without the burning anger between them. Whether that was enough to build something greater would remain to be seen, but he was willing at least to see if they could try.
“I think...we’ve got enough to start with,” Aidan said, hesitantly running a hand down Sean’s jaw and over his shoulders.
It wasn’t a promise of forever, but Aidan didn’t think Sean was the type to look for one either. They’d both lived many of the past few years knowing that there was no promise of tomorrow, let alone something years down the road from that. Perhaps it was good enough to start with just tonight, and find out later what waited for them down the road.
Sean looked up, nodding. “I think you’re right.”
Aidan snorted. “Of course, I am. I do that a lot, you know.”
Sean rolled his eyes. “I was about to ask you if you wanted to stay the night, but apparently, you’ve decided to kill the mood.”
Aidan’s eyes widened, and he reached out to take hold of Sean’s shoulders before he could pull away. “Stay the night, you say?”
“You were the one who made some comment about doing something to my ass. Figured, since this seems to be working out for us, you might want to follow through on that promise.”
Aidan’s eyes widened in delight. “You’d let me top?”
“I’m capable of bottoming!”
Aidan laughed. “I’m just surprised.”
Sean huffed, pushing up from the couch. “You have to promise to cuddle me afterward. I need to be held close and told I’m pretty after someone fucks me.”
Trust Me, I Hate You Page 13
